Notes: [EExLK] Random Modern AU; Another random thing for practice \o/ Mmm I'm not satisfied with it though. The reason I used the word twilight is because I wanted to use one of its meanings: "gradual decline."
Twilight Snow
Elsword held Ain's hand. Poor Ain was weak and frail on the hospital bed.
"...Come closer, Elsword..." Ain whispered. Elsword did as he was told. Ain wiped away the tears that trickled down Elsword's cheeks. "...I'm sorry to make you cry..."
Elsword shook his head. "Ain..." Elsword whimpered. The doctor said that he didn't have much time left. Thinking about it made Elsword sob. And when he did, Ain couldn't help but to sob with him. Ain couldn't even get up. He was bedridden and forever trapped in the hospital as long as he could remember. A few months felt like an eternity. The doctors weren't even sure what had happened to him. All they knew was that soon, he was going to pass away. "...It's not fair..."
"...Elsword...remember what I told you? Things may not be fair...but we must look forward and if we can...reverse or make better of the situation." Ain patted Elsword's soft red hair.
"How can I?! I don't...I can't lose someone precious to me! Ain...please don't go..." It was of course, a selfish and unreasonable request but Ain understood and felt the same. It was one of those rare times Elsword couldn't stay positive.
"...Elsword..."
Elsword stood up. "I...I'm sorry..." He dashed out of the room almost knocking down a nurse who was passing by.
Ain stared at where he last saw Elsword. His heart was twisting and crying. "...mmm It's better this way...so you don't have to see me go..." He felt death cradling his soul. Soon, he felt sleepy. He tried to fight it off. '...Elsword...' He thought. But in the end, his eyes closed.
-/-
Ain's eyes fluttered open due to the morning light that filtered through the hospital window's curtains. "...What?" he muttered. He was confused but drenched in relief. He was sure death was after him last night. But alas, he had another day to spend with his love. He glanced to his side. Elsword was there with his head and arms on the bed sleeping. His face looked tired. Ain stroked Elsword's hair. Today, he felt better than usual. Maybe he could sit up. But, just seeing Elsword was enough.
Elsword awoke at Ain's touch. He shot up and flung himself on Ain. "Ain! I'm sorry for leaving you alone last night. I was..." Elsword murmured in Ain's chest.
"It's fine. I understand. I should be the one apologizing...you've been taking care of me for so long." It wouldn't be a surprise if Elsword was tired or stressed. "Thank you for coming back. I'm still alive today."
Elsword held Ain tighter but said nothing. The doctor then came in for it was time to check on Ain. Elsword was reluctant to let go but Ain assured him as always that he would still be there. But every time Ain would utter those words, he himself wondered for how long.
Elsword waited outside on a chair fumbling with his fingers.
After a while, Ain popped out of the room. "Elsword~!" He embraced Elsword.
"Ain! You're standing! Is this okay? Are you..." Elsword trailed off and decided not to continue that question.
"Look at me, Elsword! I'm healthy! I can stand, walk, sing, dance!" He twirled in a circle. His face was full of life all smiling and happy. "It's a miracle! Even the doctors don't know what happened. They still want to keep me a little while to make sure but, I'm so amazed! I'll be able to do more things with you now! I'm so happy!"
There was a stunned look on Elsword's face but it melted into a gentle smile. "How about we go do some things you've been wanting to do?"
"That'll be great but the doctor..." Ain stopped for Elsword reached out and held his hand. For some reason, that tender touch seemed to have reached deep into Ain's heart. It was strange how Elsword wasn't too surprised but Ain decided to let that slide.
"Let's go~" Elsword ran and pulled on Ain's hand as he led him outside the hospital. The sun felt so pleasant and the air smelled crisp and sharp from the winter season.
"It feels good to be outside~" Ain sang.
Elsword laughed seeing Ain so exuberant like this. His laughing caused Ain to laugh as well. "I love you, Ain," Elsword said after he calmed down. Ain gazed at him. His heart felt strange. He should be happy but why did it feel so sad?
-/
They went off buying new clothes for Ain, eating various things, walking in the park, seeing a movie, and many other things Ain had the impulse to do. When it became evening, Elsword suggested they come back home. Ain waited in anticipation as Elsword opened the apartment door.
"I miss being home..." Ain said. He peered inside. While he had been gone, everything had become messy and dusty. Papers were scattered along the floor with books and clothes. Elsword stopped coming to the apartment often when Ain was admitted into the hospital. They walked into the bedroom. The bed was unmade and more clothes were scattered about. Ain flopped onto the bed anyway. "Mmm...feels nice to be in our own bed again..." He hugged the pillow and turned to face the ceiling. Elsword climbed onto the bed and hoovered over Ain. "Elsword?" Ain gazed into those ruby red eyes. He couldn't quite place what Elsword was thinking which was surprising because most of the time he was able to. Elsword held Ain's hand and gave him a shy and gentle kiss.
"I love you, Ain," Elsword whispered as he pulled away.
"Elsword...is...something wrong?" Elsword had been saying that he loved him many times today. Why wasn't Elsword happy? Was he happy? Elsword was just acting too strange. Ain was cured over a sudden. Shouldn't that be mind-blowing or something? Ain sat up and caressed Elsword's face. "You can tell me anything. I'm here for you."
A soft smile spread across Elsword's face. "Mmm. I know you're always there. That's why..." Elsword lowered his eyes. He began to take off his hoodie and then his shirt. Ain stared at Elsword's well-sculpted chest and shoulders.
"...Elsword...what are you...?"
Elsword continued to slip off his pants and socks. "...I...I'm ready for you, Ain."
Ain was shocked. Something had to be going on. But Ain didn't dare point out that it wasn't like him to offer himself like this. "B-but Elsword, didn't you...want to wait until we're married? Are you sure you're ready? I just got out of the hospital. There's no need to rush." He held his hand on Elsword's shoulder. Ain noticed something faltering on Elsword's face, but he remained stoic.
"...There might not be another time..." Elsword whispered. It sounded so painful and so quiet that Ain wasn't sure he heard him right.
Ain hugged him. "...Elsword...I'll still love you even if you never want to do it. I know I've been waiting but I could wait forever. Just holding you in my arms is enough..."
Elsword remained silent as he hugged Ain back. "...Please...take me."
Those words broke Ain. They sounded so poignant and so desperate. He remained silent for a while as he tightened his hug. He could feel Elsword's heartbeat race. Was Elsword afraid that he'll become ill again? After some thought, he lowered Elsword onto the bed. "...Okay." Ain complied as he slipped off his clothes and Elsword's boxers. "...Are you really okay with this, love?" Ain gazed into Elsword's eyes which reflected honesty.
"...mmm. You can do anything to me..."
"...Elsword..." As Ain kissed him all over and whispered words of love into his ear, Elsword let tears fall from his eyes. He couldn't keep it in.
"...It feels so great to be loved by you..." Elsword whispered. He drew in a sharp breath as Ain made love to him.
Ain nibbled on his neck. "...I'll only love you, Elsword..." Ain's breath was warm and raspy. "...Only you..." Ain sighed in happiness as the two became one.
-/
They laid under the covers gazing at each other. The moonlight streaming from the blinds illuminated Ain's hair. Ain saw sorrow in Elsword's eyes. "Elsword...please...tell me...what's wrong?" Ain asked.
Elsword didn't reply for a while. "...I'm just afraid of losing you again."
Ain tried to give him a reassuring smile. "...I'm here to stay. I'm sure of it. I feel great."
Elsword smiled back. But it was still sad. "...Thank you, Ain. ...I love you." Elsword snuggled into Ain's warm embrace and awaited him to fall asleep. Once he was sure that he did, he kissed him on the lips and got out of bed. He got changed and left the apartment.
It was almost midnight and the air was cold. Snow was falling silent and slow. Elsword ran. He ran as fast as he could but he wasn't sure where to go. He didn't plan to stay in the apartment so long. He soon became tired. His legs felt like lead and his breathing was becoming difficult. He made it as far as to an open garden he and Ain went several times before. Elsword remembered that this place was where they confessed, where they had their first kiss, where Ain proposed to him, and the last place Ain saw before falling ill. To be exact, it was under a beautiful tree that bloomed white flowers. Elsword headed to this tree that was on a grassy hill. Each step he took was slower than the last. He looked up at the tree which was now bare. Elsword fell before reaching the tree and had to crawl towards it until he could sit up with his back against the tree. Dirt caked his clothes. He felt so tired and sleepy.
Elsword stared up through the lifeless branches at the falling snow. His vision was becoming blurry and he felt so cold. His hand shook as he reached into his pocket. He took out a white envelope which contained a letter he wrote to Ain. He couldn't give it to him. It would have been too painful to. His breath was struggling to keep up. The tears that fell from his eyes soon froze in the cold. It was soon...he felt it coming soon... His eyes were closing. Before he shut his eyes forever, he whispered, "...Ain..." one last time.
/-
Ain shot up out of bed and soon realized from the cold that Elsword wasn't with him. He got up and searched everywhere around the house. "...Elsword? Elsword?!" He called out. But there was no answer. He noticed that Elsword's clothes were missing. He threw on his own clothes and rushed outside. He kept on calling his name everywhere he went. His heart was in pain as if was being seared by the freezing air. He was so worried. Ain then decided to look at their special place and when he saw Elsword under the tree motionless, he felt as if the world around him crumbled. He couldn't even feel the cold anymore as he ran towards Elsword. "Elsword! Elsword! Wake up! Elsword!" Elsword was covered in a light coat of snow. His skin was pale and lips were blue. But, no matter how many times Ain shook him, he wouldn't awaken. Ain hesitated to feel his pulse. He was in disbelief. It couldn't be. How? What? When? Why? He brought his shaking hand to Elsword's neck. The cold skin made him shiver.
Nothing.
Ain sat there, frozen in place. Maybe it was because it was cold? No, he can't be dead. He was healthy just a moment ago. It's not that cold.
He can't be dead.
He can't be dead.
He just can't be dead.
Ain was still trembling as he brushed the snow off of Elsword. Inside he was already feeling his veins, muscles, skin, and blood twist and burn. He saw the envelope and took it between two of his fingers. It was somewhat damp due to the snow.
No, it can't be.
He's just sleeping.
He can't be dead.
Ain had a hard time opening the envelope. He let the teared pieces fall onto the ground. Inside were some loose leaf papers with Elsword's handwriting on it. There were some mistakes, cross outs, misspelled words, and smeared splotches of ink from random water drops. It read:
Ai Dear Ain,
I'm not really good at writing letters. I'm sorry if I can't write okay. If you're reading this, it means that I di something really did happen to me. Ain...I'm sorry to make you sad. I know it would be imposible to ask you to not cry. But...I love you so much. When I ran out to cool my head, I ran into a wierd man. He said that he could save you. I asked him how and he told me if I gave up my own life. He said if I agree, I would have one day left with you. So, I did. I'm sorry for being Until now, I'm still not sure if I made the right choice. I've made you sad, but you'll live...but you'll live without me being there. I thought maybe that I was selfish because I didn't want to lose you and that I didn't considr your feelings. But in the end...I didn't want you to suffer anymore. You wanted to do so many things. You had things you set your eyes on. For me...I didn't really have anything. So, Ain, go out and do those things, for both you and me. If you're angry with me, I understand. If you can't forgive me, that's ok. But to make you sad...and for leaving you, I'm really sorry. Just know...that I love you so much and that I'll always love you. Even if I'm not there with you now I re ...If it's too painful...forget me...if you can. I ju I just want you to be happy and safe, even if it's without me. I love you. I love you. I love you. I can't write or say enough...Good bye, Ain. I hope...one day we'll meet again.
Love, Elsword
Ain felt empty. A thin of layer of snow covered him. "...How am I supposed to do those things...when all those things were meant to be done with you...?" Ain whispered. Ain reread the letter a few times. His eyes were blank. It wasn't until he read it the twentieth time did he realize that Elsword was gone. His own tears splattered and dried on the letter. He crawled over to Elsword's body and clung to it. "I'm supposed to be the one who's supposed to die...oh Elsword...why?" Ain heaved many sobs and the tears gushed out. His soul and heart ached as if many needles were prickling inside him.
Ain never ceased crying throughout the cold twilight of the falling snow.