Marinette watched his eyes dim in front of her. It was always the same argument.
She knew, she knew he was in love with her. She knew he wanted to know who she was so that he could love her. But she just couldn't do it.
"I'm sorry, Chaton." She twirled her yoyo in her hand a little and threw it before it curled around a gargoyle and leaped off the building.
With every swing she took, she could feel the distance between them increase.
The truth is, she wanted Chat Noir to love her, the problem was that she didn't know how to love him. She was scared she wouldn't be enough for someone as incredible as him. At least with her crush on Adrien she knew she had no chance, so she didn't have to worry about being enough. But Chat, was a completely different story.
But now, Adrien and Chat were one person. It wouldn't and couldn't happen. She was well aware of her self-destructive tendencies and they we're taking over again.
The argument was tedious.
"Ladybug, I love you."
'I love you, too.' she wanted to say, instead, "No, Chat, you can't."
"Why not?
'You deserve more,' she whispered in her mind, instead she said, "You don't know me."
"You know I know you better than anyone else in Paris."
"Maybe that's what you think."Then she'd watch the light leave his eyes and her heart would break, knowing it was her fault.
Marinette stumbled into her room with a stifled sob.
Dropping her transformation she curled into her bed and hugged her pillow as it soaked in her salty tears.
Tikki couldn't do anything but watch silently as her bug cried herself to sleep. Words weren't enough anymore.
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Adrien snuck into his room after his latest attempt to get Marinette to just say it.
The circles were beginning to frustrate him.
The reveal was supposed to be the happily ever after, but at the current moment it just seemed like the beginning of the end.
She was shying away, he knew it wasn't him, she loved him he knew she did, but self-doubt was eating her inside-out.
He didn't want to say it but she was breaking his heart. She was chipping him away and he didn't know how much longer he could hold on before losing faith.
But he knew he'd always be patient with her, and wait until the ends of the earth.
He loved her.
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The sunken expression and bags under her eyes worried her family and close friends.
Marinette had always been a bubbly child. To see her so despondent hurt everyone who cared most about her.
For the past month she hadn't been same. But she still dragged herself to school.
Alya watched in bedufflement and worry as her best friend withdrew herself from the world.
Alya noticed that along with Marinette's depression, the blonde model in the class seemed detached from the rest of the world. It seemed the only thing tethering were not so subtle glances to Marinette's hunched over figure behind him.
He'd turn in his chair to look at her and she'd avoid eye contact before he looked back to the board with a frown on his face.
Today was no different the last 28 days of the schlump. Nino and Alya were at a loss.
There was no help in them fix whatever mess they were in. It was up to them.
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Marinette sneaked glances at Adrien, watching as he faked concentration to the lesson, just like her.
She avoided meeting his eye every time he looked at her.
She gulped as she noticed the shift in his muscles, alerting he was about to turn to look at her.
This time she met his spring green eyes. But they held a heaviness, a heaviness that wouldn't be there if it weren't for her.
His eyes were pleading, and she hoped her blue eyes reflected how scared she was. She looked away after giving him a second to read them. Her guard wasn't going to lay down very wrong.
Marinette knew she had to let him go, but the scariest thing about it, was having to watch him be happy with someone else.
She watched as he turned around and thought bitterly about how the peperson to make him smile, laugh, love would not be her. If that happened... what would be the point anymore.
Her pencil broke under the tense grip she didn't realise she had. She looked up at the teacher with wide eyes, translating her need to be excused.
The slight nod was all she needed before scraping her chair back and making a quick escape. She heard another chair scrap but she tried to outrun him.
She couldn't handle it.
Hands grabbed her by the waist and pushed her up against the wall in the hallway. Blonde hair tickled her forehead and peppermint breath blew stray stands away.
Her eyes met his eyes again, this time they we're steely with determination.
He laid his hands against the wall on either side of her head in kabe-don and leaned in to capture her full attention. When he was sure he had it, he started purring. The vibrations filled the tense silence.
"Marinette," he whispered, too close to her ear, "you know I love you, right?"
Marinette didn't respond, she just closed her eyes and let the thrum from his body soothe her malfunctioning emotions.
"Marinette, open your eyes," he growled, "Ladybug."
Her eyes shot open in panick, hearing him say it out of masks still chilled her.
"Say it again," she breathed, her words barely heard over the our.
"Say what?"
"Adrien, Chaton, tell me you love me," she commanded softly.
He chuckled lowly, "So touchy," she glared up at him. "I love you."
She sighed and laid her head on his chest. His arms pulled away from the wall and he hugged her.
She broke down in his arms, she was tired. She didn't want to fight it anymore, she wanted him to love her. She wanted him to hold her like this all the time, steady and caring.
He held her together as she fell apart in his arms. It broke his heart jut he knew she needed it. He sunk to the ground with her and supported his back against the wall.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." she said it like a prayer. over. and. over. again.
He tried to shush her, cradling her shaking form.
Why was she fighting this in the first place? Why was she fighting her chance of happiness.
She pulled her head away from his chest and looked at him. Her face was red with emotions and eyes wet with angry tears. Angry at herself.
"I forgive you," he said, wiping away her tears.
"No, no, no. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve your forgiveness," she stated. "You're allowed to be mad at me," she whispered.
"Not right now, Bug. I love you."
Her smile was watery as she grasped his hand and kissed his knuckles, "I love you, too."
"I don't deserve you, but we'll be okay."