A FORGOTTEN AFGHANI

I come from the country where women decided for themselves, the first in the world to do so, that voting was a right for them. We have an increasing population of refugee Afghan families, mostly those of translators who worked for the NZ Army until drawdown and who were targets for execution after we left. I don't "get" Burqas and, as an educator, I hate that girls in some places are denied an education. I hate that women anywhere are subjected to violence merely because they are women. Nadia Hashimi's wonderful novels have taught me much about the lives of Afghani women, both in modern times and in the relatively recent past.

I worried a lot what happened to Bashira's mother. How was she treated after Molly foiled efforts to turn Bashira into a sacrifice? This first chapter explores the background to Molly's involvement again in Bashira's life and, this time, that of her mother, who I have called Samira for want of a name not given in the series.

This new dream was vivid and violent and it had come the first night after Charles left for Africa. Molly had woken drenched in sweat, yelling at Smurf not to shoot that fucking goat, then at Charles to run, run hard, that Badrai was coming, if he would only run hard enough he wouldn't get shot. And for the last week the dream had replayed until she woke in terror as the bullet from the Taliban gun passed her in extreme slow motion so that she reached out to stop it with her hand. Unable to catch it in time, she watched its certain lethal trajectory towards the captain. She never did see where the bullet landed. All she knew as she struggled to wake was that she was desperately and irrevocably alone on that dusty Afghan road screaming for the man she loved and could find nowhere.

And for the week since he had left, the dream returned, each time more detailed and terrifying, always waking her at the same point. Of course she was worried about him being in danger again, but she hadn't been prepared for the intensity of her loss as he left with his boys – actually, her boys. Bereft and aimless, she had wandered around the flat asking herself why, for fuck's sake, she'd agreed with Beck that she could do with some extended leave.

"Dawes," he had said at the post tour meeting after her last posting helping to train new medics at Pirbright. " You're the closest thing to a burnt out soldier I've seen for a long time. I'm ordering you to take some time out, at least three months, to rest and to consider your future in the Army. This relationship between you and Major James is awkward, to say the least. We all need to consider the best way forward to manage the possible fallout.

Go away, have a holiday, do some volunteer work, try out some other jobs, clear your head, give us all time to think while the major is busy in Kenya."

She had protested, insisted that she was fine, would be OK to continue working, but Beck was adamant. She was to consider herself stood down on compassionate leave, with pay, for three months, longer if she needed it. On some level, she understood that the army needed her to take the leave so that there could be time to best handle what was a very tricky situation between two serving soldiers.

Charles had agreed with Beck. Molly had worked solidly all through the time he was rehabbing after his injuries and he was worried too. Dark shadows had settled into place under her eyes and many times he had shaken her awake and held her tight in his arms as the night demons plagued her dreams. She would call out in her sleep, in the voice of a small, hurt child for her mum or sometimes for her nan. Her heart would be thumping wildly in her chest. Gasping for air and shaking violently she would slowly gather herself together, entangling herself from the closeness of his body. Standing, she would stretch and shake herself and as his time to leave for Kenya came closer she would push him away if he tried to hold her once she was out of bed. Was she getting ready to be without him, he wondered and worried? If she needed to push him away to do that, then that was fine by him, even if it hurt a bit, actually quite a lot if he were honest

Several times he had suggested to her tha she might do well to get some counselling. Eventually he had done so himself to deal with the emotional after effects of his injuries. Cynical at first about talking to shrinks, Charles had found that his weekly appointments with the therapist had become something he looked forward to as he slowly picked through the memories and raw emotions brought about by that terrible day on the dusty road in Helmand province.

"I don't need no fucking shrink!" she'd yelled at him. "Me, I'm OK, just some bad dreams, that's all. They'll go away and I'm gonna be OK. Just you worry about yourself an' going to Africa an' taking care an' not getting' shot up again."

And there it was, her fear that she might lose him even after the long painful healing process he had been through and her constant vigilance until she was really sure that he was going to be OK. They had agonised together about his original plan to resign his commission and Molly had talked him into going to see Beck first.

It was worth a try to see if there was any way they could both stay "in" and it really depended on how much Beck and other ranking officers already knew about their relationship. As it turned out, there had not been any gossip and no-one had put two and two together when both had asked permission to live off base. Just to play safe, Molly had given her East London home address and with mobile phones there was no tracing her whereabouts from a home line.

Both sets of parents knew but kept their own counsel, though Dave was vocal and scathing about her "wanting to shack up with a posh boy officer instead of a good solid East London fella." Her dad thought she was getting above herself, maybe acting as if she was better than the rest of her family. Nan had rubbished him mainly by stating that her Molls had obviously found "…a good 'un" and that she wished she were about forty years younger "…cos she might have given Molly a run for her money." Very direct about Molly having a much better chance of holding onto any housekeeping money than Belinda was, she commented on Charles' good taste in booze rather than the cheap and nasty Polish beer that disappeared down Dave's throat in ever increasing quantities.

"Old trout!" Dave had exploded in a righteous rage and had stormed out of the flat, heading to the local whilst yelling insults about the doings of his family coven.

OG

As Charles got closer to his African tour, he did worry about Molly. She was so fiercely independent, but also so very vulnerable. Only one of her friends, Jackie from the Helmand tour, knew they were together and he had contacted her. Feeling guilty about talking behind Molly's back Charles had spoken of Molly's night terrors and of his worries for her. Jackie had given him a quick hug and had told him she had already decided to "…watch out for Molls" in his absence.

Then he emailed Qaseem in Kabul, getting his address directly from the university's website. Whether he would reach the Afghani was a matter of luck, he thought. Just as Molly had predicted at the start of their time in the Helmand FOB, things had certainly gone "Whoosh!" after the British Army went home. The Taliban was resurgent and there were reports every day now of violence as small settlements were overrun. Explosions and executions were once more the order of the day in parts of Afghanistan and fear had returned to Kabul. Insurgents had reappeared on the streets and the university would, as in the past, become a prime target if things deteriorated. Who knew whether that mightn't have happened already?"

Charles felt an immense sadness as he reflected on the people and events of that memorable fourth tour to Afghan The small and strong woman with whom he was so very much in love was the reason why he could own to such feelings, he recognised gratefully. Mentally cringing, he heard himself on the same day as she had made the predictions about Afghan after the army left. His haughtiness as he lectured her about taking orders from those higher up and acting on them without personal reflection had certainly come back to bite him on the rear end.

Only after her selflessness in putting her very life on the line for her comrades as well as for an eleven year old Afghani girl and his growing awareness that he loved her was he able to tell her how much he had changed because of her. And still he had cocked it up, hurting her more than he cared to recall. That they were together now and still loving one another was a precious thing worth protecting and that was why he was now communicating with Qaseem.

''I'm due to go on tour in a week," he'd explained." I know Molly keeps in touch with you. She has a lot of respect for you, Qaseem. She's even told me she would have liked you for a father. I'm worried that it will be really hard for her over the next six months while I'm away." He told Qaseem about the nightmares and about her stubborn resistance to getting help. Being so far away from her was going to be very hard for them both, he predicted. He, they needed help.

There was a reply some hours later. Qaseem would do his best to increase his emails and conversations with Molly, but he was certain that Charles must know that conditions had deteriorated in Kabul. He was not always able to be sure of a reliable internet connection or secure phone line. But,

"You must know, Charles that I have grown to love Molly Dawes as if she is my daughter. I will do all I can to keep in touch with her. But you know she has a strong will and heart that has so much love in it that it overflows sometimes and carries her to some very surprising places. I think you just keep loving her back and have faith in her.

I have some possible plans for a new thing to happen in my life. I am not sure yet, but I will let you know as soon as I can. And I will tell Molly also.

For now, go well in fighting those monstrous brothers of the Taliban in Africa, Charles. I will be in touch with you soon."

James had tears in his eyes as he closed the connection. Not until Molly came into his life had he really considered what good things may come to a person who knew that hard times could bring unexpected gifts. In this case a treasured and reliable man of principle. A good friend.

OG

Once more Molly was screaming at Smurf to leave the fucking goat alone. Charles, followed by Nude nut and Fingers advanced along the dry dusty, Helmand road to the barrier where the truck was waiting for inspection . Deep in the dream that came every night since Charles had flown out to Kenya, she sweated and twisted in her bedclothes as she waited to reach out for the bullet she knew she would never catch. An unfamiliar sound injected itself into the pregnant silence of the Afghan landscape of her dream.

Shrill and repetitive, it insisted she leave the dreamscape behind. Still sweating, her heart thumping as if it might leap out of her chest, she surfaced to the sound of her I-phone playing over and over the sounds of a train whistle which Sam had dared her to load.

"Hello, Molly Dawes." The gentle tone of Qaseem's voice still had that distinctive lilt of his native Pashto. "Did I wake you? I am sorry if I did but it is very difficult to get a clear line out of Kabul at present."

Molly was instantly awake and alert, her military training kicking in.

"I were in the middle of a bad dream, Qaseem. You saved me!" Her delight at hearing the familiar warm voice changed as she recognised the unmistakable undertone signalling that all was not well with him

"Molly, listen hard. I'm taking a risk that no one is listening in to this conversation. Charles contacted me before he went to Africa and said that you were on leave for a while. He was worried aabout you Molly, but I told him to have faith that you would be fine.

Things are not good here and I have decided on a new mission as a translator. Not for the army, but for the Red Cross and I am going to Greece, to an island called Lesvos. There are refugee camps there with Afghanis and people from other places who are getting away from these evil people. I am going to volunteer to help my people there.

Molly, the conditions are very bad on Lesvos, I am told. People have been injured on smuggler boats and lots are sick and hungry. I thought about you and your medic training and I have a very big thing to ask you. I am heading up a team for Red Cross and I am inviting you to help make it our team again. Of course I will understand if you decide no is your answer. "

As she listened intently, Molly noticed that she was excited, just a little, by the prospect of another mission, another adventure.

"I'll think about it, Qaseem. Sounds interesting. How would I get there if I wanted to do it?"

"Go to the Red cross headquarters in London, Molly. I will tell my people here that they might hear from you. And then you talk to them and decide for yourself. You could do a lot of good, Molly…"

"And it would give something to do while Charles is away. Something I could be good at. Might make me tired enough not to have these nightmares, eh, Qaseem."

"AH!" he thought. "She is owning up to feeling bad. Perhaps I can help her by being close to her as we work together."

"One more thing, Molly. I will be travelling with three others. One is my older sister who is a widow and a brilliant cook She is hoping to find food somewhere and feed our people some fine Afghan kebab. She is accompanying two people you know.

Take a deep breath, Molly. One is Bashira. The new Talibani had threatened to overrun the safe place where she and the other children were. We managed to find new places for them all just in time. Bashira came to my sister and the other person we have is her mother, Samira. She has been treated dreadfully, Molly, and I am ashamed as a man that I did not anticipate what has happened to her since Bashira was rescued from the explosive vest. My sister has helped a lot, but we need to help Samira away from Afghanistan. She is very wounded, Molly. And I am not sure yet how easy it is going to be getting three women out of Afghanistan and safely to new