Safe & Sound
summary: She'd made a promise to her team, to help and guide them by taking the lead from their home base. She'd also made a promise to Barry, to love and protect him always. What Iris had never expected was for those two promises to clash, had never expected to make the choice that could risk losing him all over again. [missing scene from 4x09 - Don't Run]
genre: Romance, Angst
rated: T
author note: Title and lyrics from "Safe and Sound" by The Civil Wars & Taylor Swift.
Just close your eyes, the sun is going down
You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now
Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound
She sat there, waiting for word from Cisco and Ralph on the status of their attempt to rescue Caitlin. Her left hand pressed to her chin, staring at the console but not actually seeing what was in front of her. Her thoughts were on Barry. She knew she'd made the right call but that didn't mean it felt right. He was her husband, her everything. Yes, he could take care of himself but that didn't mean he should have to. The sight of him being electrocuted, hanging limply as DeVoe carried him away, unsure if he was alive or dead, would be an image that would be that haunted her for a while. She just needed to know that he was alive. But once again she found herself without the knowledge, without the comfort, not knowing how or when he'd return.
Making the decision between searching for Caitlin and searching for Barry had been easy. Barry had a full handle on his powers, had been in situations like this before, had four years of field work fighting bad guys and fighting dire odds. Caitlin had literally none of those; of course they had to search for her. That decision hadn't been hard. The hard decision was to take on that responsibility or not, to be the one to decide what the team should do. When Barry had left into the Speed Force, Iris easily slid into the role of team leader. Cisco had more experience but he would be busy on the field now as Vibe. Wally was their resident speedster. Caitlin was gone, Harry would be eventually returning home to his earth, and her father had a demanding job in law enforcement and was beginning his life with Cecile. So she stepped down from full time work at the paper, submitting work here and there when it was required of her, and focused all of her attention on their work at S.T.A.R. Labs. Her personality was that of a natural leader, not a follower, was willing to be the heavy even with her friends and family. She was a strong, intelligent woman who was a quick learner and her family, their team, needed her to be that. So she took the lead because it was required of her, because she knew she could emulate Barry's decisions because she knew him better than anyone, and because it distracted her from their lonely apartment and missing fiancé. It gave her focus, gave her purpose, gave her the distraction from her grief. But she never thought she'd have to make a decision like this, risk losing him all over again after just getting him back.
But then she heard the lightning, felt the small gust of air at her back. Neither the loudness of the electricity or the wind his speed created were their normal intensity, indicating he wasn't anywhere near his top speed. That thought barley registered though as the relief and elation set in when she felt his return. Iris turned towards the entrance, saw him standing there, cowl and head down, bracing himself against the wall with one outstretched arm.
"Barry," she breathed, running towards him. He barely lifted his head as his body pitched sideways, his shoulder colliding with the wall. He didn't even open his eyes, raising his right arm as she embraced him. She clutched him tight, could feel his arm slowly wrap around her, his movements sluggish. He was silent and she could feel the barely-there grasp on her shoulder as they pulled each other close, could feel the slow but shallow breaths against her neck as his face pressed up against hers.
She allowed herself another moment of relief at him being alive and here before she pulled away just enough to turn to look at him. His eyes were still closed, head leaning against the wall that she suspected was the only thing keeping him upright.
"Babe?" she asked in a whisper, eyes looking at his tired face, his eyes still closed. He opened his mouth slightly as if to say something, moved slightly as if to push himself away from the wall, but all that came out was a small moan as his body began to slide down the wall.
Iris was quick to catch him, shifting her own body so that the right arm that had been wrapped around her in an embrace was now draped across her shoulders and keeping him upright. The left arm she had draped around his back slid down to his waist and held tight to his hip. Barry slumped against her, feet dragging along as he was barely able to support his own weight as Iris helped him towards the med bay. Iris wanted to call out for help as she hurriedly half-carried her husband through the cortex but remembered that all hands on deck were helping rescue Caitlin while her father and Harry were still out canvasing for Barry.
Iris held tightly to Barry's right wrist with her own right hand, holding Barry's arm across her shoulders while her other arm wrapped tighter around his waist. She spared a look at Barry's face, his head hung down, chin to chest, shallow and slow breathing making Iris nervous. He still hadn't spoken a word, still hadn't looked at her.
His knees buckled suddenly and Iris grunted as she shifted to support nearly all of his weight. Finally making it into the small wing off the main room, she eased Barry over to sit on the cot. His body swayed but he was able to remain upright and Iris spared a moment to text her father to let him know his son was safe before returning her attention to Barry.
With little help from her husband whose eyes still remained closed, Iris slowly and gently began to unzip and peel off the top of his uniform. He groaned with every movement of his arms and she tried not to gasp at the bruises that decorated his skin as if painted by a heavy handed abstract expressionist. The shapes distorted, colors vibrant before tapering off at the edges, no form or structure as they stained his pale skin. Down his right side small pieces of embedded glass tore at his skin that she hadn't noticed had pierced the uniform jacket.
"Is anything broken?" she asked, her voice quiet as she moved across the room to get antiseptic wipes and tweezers. He didn't answer vocally but as she approached him he shook his head.
With gentle hands she removed the small shards that had pierced his skin, noticing how some of the scrapes were already halfway healed by the time she finished. He barely moved as she worked, a hiss of pain or small groan here and there, even as she wiped the small streaks of blood amongst the bruises. She wanted to ask what had happened, where he'd been, what DeVoe had done to him, what had caused him to look like he ran into a brick wall at top speed. But she followed his lead, his silence indicating he either wasn't ready to talk about it or didn't have the strength. It was rare when Barry Allen didn't share with her, his day, his emotions, his recount of events. But she'd seen this before a few times, when everything just ached too much or he was just too exhausted, physically and mentally. Like the time when they were thirteen and he broke his arm after being pushed down onto the pavement too hard by some jerks at their school, ridiculing him for his father being a murderer and telling him he was a freak. She'd sat with him in the nurse's office as they waited for her dad to pick them up, sat beside him in the waiting room at the hospital, and sat with him while the doctor wrapped his arm in a cast. He had said nothing the entire time, whether it was the pain in the arm or the pain of the bully's words, she didn't know. Later in life there had been a few instances of him being injured while being the Flash, before they became a couple and there after. He'd come home, nursing sore ribs, a concussion, or something worse. He'd collapse on the couch in the West home or at their loft and would say nothing and just let her hold him. He would talk when he was ready, and she would be there waiting patiently.
"Ribs," he whispered suddenly, his voice hoarse and tight. She looked up at him from where she had been knelt in front of him, taking off his boots. His eyes were open now, if only just barely, looking down at her. She moved for the compression bandage and wrapped it around his chest, a deep groan and harsh breath his response. He moved off the edge of the cot, unsteady on his feet as he stood to remove his pants. She helped him without being asked, saw the swelling and bruising on his right leg but he was standing on it so it couldn't be as bad as it looked.
Slowly and with great care, she was able to get him into his sweatpants and t-shirt. He reached into a nearby drawer and withdrew a soft hinged knee brace and wrapped it around his right knee, that alone seemed to wear him out as he all but fell back onto the cot. Iris gently eased him back, helping him lift his legs to stretch out atop the mattress, shoving two pillows directly behind him as he lay down. Cautiously Iris sat on the open space on the edge of the bed. She reached for his left hand, holding it between hers, thumb gliding across his wedding band as she stared at his face, eyes fully open and watching her.
"Iris," Barry exhaled, shifting slightly to sit up a bit in bed, wincing as he did. "Thank you."
"I was afraid I lost you," Iris confessed, grabbing his left hand and bringing it to her rest upon her cheek.
"You didn't," he smiled slightly at her, pain still evident in his green eyes as his thumb gently stroked her skin.
"If you ever do that to me again, Barry Allen," she said, never finishing the threat as she gripped the hand against her face tightly, staring intently into his gaze with a mixture of grief and anger.
"Ya know, it's not nice to threaten the injured," he teased in a breathy voice, still smiling at her lazily as his eyes began to heavy to keep open.
"You'll get over it," she smiled back, leaning down to plant a soft kiss on his lips. She shifted from where she sat, turning her body to sit beside him on the narrow hospital bed, adjusting herself till she was half sitting, half lying down next to him. She was seated up taller than Barry, his head at level with her shoulder. Iris wrapped her right arm around his shoulders and gently pulled him close against her. She was careful not to aggravate his injured body. Barry rested his forehead against her neck, snuggling down to get more comfortable as Iris brought her right hand up, tucking his head beneath her chin, fingers combing back his hair towards her softly. Her left hand moved to where his was resting on her lap, her small hand atop his larger one, fingers threaded down between his, wedding band against wedding band.
"I love you," she whispered as Barry started to drift off, his body in desperate need of healing and rest. Barry wanted to return the sentiment but was helpless as sleep claimed him, safe and sound in the arms of the person he loved most in this world.
His soft breathing and the rise and fall of his chest against her body fell into a rhythm that began to lull Iris to sleep as well. She was exhausted, and now that Barry was safe in her arms, she could give into that exhaustion. As she started to drift off, she vaguely heard the voices of the others after the sound of one of Cisco's breaches. She should probably greet them, but she could hear Caitlin and knew they'd gotten her. And even if she wasn't nearly asleep, Iris wouldn't have been able to tear herself away from Barry, didn't have the heart to move him now that he was settled and resting. As the voices moved deeper into the cortex they must have caught sight of them because their voices suddenly dropped to a whisper.
A warm and familiar presence entered the room and Iris managed to crack her eyes open just enough to see her father approaching. She smiled tiredly at him as he grabbed a blanket from the storage shelf and draped it over both of their bodies. With gentle hands Joe tucked the blanket around Barry's sleeping form and brought one side up to Iris's shoulders, bending down to kiss her on her forehead. He then leaned over her and she could see the tears in her father's eyes as he first brushed Barry's hair back once before pressing his lips to his brow as he kissed his son's forehead. Joe whispered to her to rest and that he'd be back in the morning before leaving them alone once again in the small room.
She closed her eyes then, felt Barry press closer against her and she wrapped her arm tighter around him in response. She'd get answers tomorrow, find out all that had transpired from not only him but their other rescued teammate, and hopefully they all could just move forward to face another day. But for now, for tonight, everyone was safe and sound and that was enough.