A.N. Do I like this? Truthfully...no. I just needed to write the first thing that came to my head to get out of my writers block and this is what came out. I posted it coz I thought people might enjoy it and to let everyone know that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth and that I WILL update Bad Romance and Me and My PEDS Surgeon soon :)

This was inspired by changes- and that we can live through a scary thing but what makes it scarier is if it changes something in your life...like you can't shove what happened to the back of your mind- you actually have to face it because it is continuing to effect you...I dunno but I hope you enjoy this

Disclaimer- I do not own anything :)

Callie POV

I had noticed a few changes in Arizona since the shooting. Some of them were obvious; like the nightmares. She had always had nightmares that left her clutching her sheets in panic, eyes wide as I tried to talk her down, tiny coffins reflected in her eyes but for the first few nights they had changed. Instead of shooting straight to a sitting up position, barely hearing me as I rubbed circles on her back she was waking up and clinging onto me, her lips leaving trails across every bit of skin she could reach, "Calliope," barely heard being whispered over and over again into the silent room.

She wasn't the only one; I too had nightmares where Mr. Clark raised his arm just the tiniest bit and I would look up and there, still lying protectively over the little girl would be Arizona, her face permanently frozen in shock and blood running down her head across the scared girl onto-

And I would wake up in a sweat, pulling Arizona closer to me as I breathed in her scent. She's alive, she's right here, she's right next to you, I would say over and over again in my head.

Other things weren't so obvious; tiny things like her constantly looking at doors around her PEDS floor. I understood though, that was her floor, her space and the shooter had made it unsafe, made her think twice before she opened the supply cupboard door.

The thing that affected me the most though was at night. Arizona was never much of a cuddler; we would come home, possibly have pound cake time and then we would fall asleep, me on my side and her on hers. It wasn't hostile, often a cold hand slipped into mine during the night or warm toes would tangle with my own but she had always liked her space. Now though, she held me close, her head in the crook of my neck right next to my pulse point, her lips barely an inch from my ear. Her legs would be so mixed up with mine that without the tan, it would be impossible to tell mine from hers and every time I moved about, had a brief wriggle in my sleep her grip would tighten around the material of my shirt, pulling me closer to her and making sure I wasn't going anywhere. I didn't mind though, after the images that the nightmares had given me I wanted her as close as possible to feel her heart beating against my chest and feel her deep breathing on my neck.

Most things didn't change; the fact that Arizona couldn't cook to save her life, Christina banging around the apartment with Meredith at two in the morning and the amazing smell that I couldn't help but breathe in every time Arizona walked in.

But some things did change.

And that was what made the whole shooting ordeal so terrifying.

Like I said, I don't really like it but review and tell me if you did/what I can do to make it better/that you completely hated it =P

Cheers as always,

Jules