Love Thy Human: Discovery

7/9/13: Reuploaded. Why? Because life is a bitch…*ahem*. Also, minor edits.

Ah, it is I, a writer who now wishes to make a fic about the Rozen Maiden dolls...as humans! GASP! How will this play out? What will ensure? Comedy? Romance? Horror? Tragedy? Cookies? Cake? Hunger? Desu? Unyuu? Read and find out!

DUMBLEDORE COMMANDS YOU, BITCHES! =3

Chapter 1: Discovery

Ah, another peaceful day in the city of...of...hum, never did find out what the city was, then again, I never finished the anime (DAMN YOU FOR KILLING OFF SOUSEISEKI! SHE WAS MY FAVORITE CHAR! ='[) Where was I? Oh yeah, the city.

Anyway, it was a peaceful day at the Sakurada House. The morning sun was beginning to shine, and the people in the house were beginning to awaken. The first one, of course, was Nori Sakurada, older sister to our main character, Jun Sakurada. She was about to step out when she decided to wake up Jun, so she traveled up the stairs to his room and knocked on his door. "Jun? Jun-kun, are you awake? It's time to get up." She got as much as a grumble, so she decided to open the door. She spotted Jun sleeping soundly in his bed and smiled. Ever since the dolls came by, he hardly got any kind of sleep due to the constant crashing through the windows from Suiseiseki and Souseiseki, the constant crying from Hinaichigo, the constant nagging from Shinku, the constant 'invasions' from Kanaria, the constant death threats from Suigintou, and with the fake 7th doll, Barasuishou and real 7th doll, Kirakishou now coming for his life. (A/N: Don't criticize my fic. All the dolls are together, no one died, yada yada, Good vs. Evil, blah blah, and NO COMPLAINING ABOUT OOC. Retards...) Nori walked close to Jun, careful as to not awaken him. She reached for his hair and moved a few stands from his face and smiled. Jun grunted and turned away from her, grumbling. "Nr...stupid...doll...go...make your own...rotten..." Nori giggled at the grumbling boy and was about to walk away when she noticed something that wasn't suppose to be there.

Jun wasn't a big person, and even if he was, he couldn't make another lump in his bed, unless that was a pillow, but as far as Nori knows, he only had 1 pillow, and why would she be thinking about that, who knows. What's even weirder is that the unknown lump was...moving, and if she listened close enough, it made a sound. A feminine sound, no less. Now scared out of her wits, Nori took whatever courage she had and slowly pulled back the covers to reveal...blonde hair. She didn't know anyone with blonde hair except for Shinku, but this bunch of hair was rather...large. Nori pulled the covers back further to reveal a face...that looked a lot like Shinku! It was human sized, too. Sleeping, but surely enough, it had Shinku's features. Nori decided to go for broke and pulled all of the covers off to reveal a very...interesting yet disturbing fact that laid underneath the covers.

Jun and the Shinku lookalike were in the bed, together, NAKED. Nori would've screamed, but ended up fainting, her face, blood red from seeing what could be best described as "Jun did the do, and showed the result." Unfortunately for her, the loud thud she made woke Jun up.

"Nori, what's going on, why are you..."

His voice stopped midway when he looked at the blonde in bed with him. His mind took a minute to register what was going on, and he got his glasses to confirm his suspicions. Unfortunately for him, they were correct: a girl was in his bed, and not just any girl, a girl that looked a lot like Shinku. Not only that, she was, indeed, naked. His eyes grew and he looked down at himself, who appeared naked as well. As a morning reaction, Jun hopped out of bed and backed up against the door, panicking as he did so. His face flushed red, as did his body, and what were his first morning words?

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

Nori was still TKO (Traumatic Knock-Out) and Jun was now trying to register what the hell was going on. First thing he wakes up, his sister is KO'd on the floor, her face red, and he had some girl sleeping next to him, naked and looking like Shinku. Not only that, he was naked too, which as all people know, lead to one thing: he boinked this random chick, and possibly gained an STD, but became a man. Proud and scared, he slumped to the floor, when he heard a familiar voice.

"Oh my, what is with all this racket? Furthermore, why am I cold?" Jun felt relieved when he heard that voice: Shinku's voice! Never had he been so relieved to hear her voice, but that also spelt trouble: what will she say if she saw this whole situation? What would happen to Jun? What about the random girl? He may not know her, but she doesn't deserve to be a victim in Shinku's wrath. Jun then thought his first priority would to be to get the girl out of here before Shinku opened her case. He then got up and shook the girl, hoping to wake her up. "Hey, you! You gotta get out of here! Hurry, befo-" His face fell and his voice died when he realized that the girl was awake, and the voice was coming from...her.

"Jun, what are you talking about? Before what?" The girl was talking like Shinku, and it scared Jun to all hell. She looked and talked like Shinku, and if she acted like her, then...

"Jun...you seem red. Are you ok, my darling?" The girl placed a hand on his cheek, hoping to calm Jun down. Jun's only reaction was to back up and point at her.

"What the hell's going on? Who are you?" Jun demanded. He was surprised that the girl simply smiled and covered herself with the covers, looking like she knew that Jun was going to ask that question. She looked at him and closed her eyes.

"Simple. I am Shinku, the 5th Rozen Maiden doll turned human, and Jun, from this day forward, you have my innocence as I have yours. We committed the sin of lust and gave ourselves to each other without marriage; simply put, we had sex." The girl, now known as Shinku, said proudly and honorably. She opened her eyes to see a KO'd Jun, blood coming out of his nose. She giggled and wiped the blood from his nostrils as she whispered in his ear. "I never knew you were so strong...and gentle...I am glad to have given you my body, Jun Sakurada."

Later that day, after Nori and Jun woke up with headaches, they both looked at Shinku like she was crazy. If not her, then they both are, because in front of them sat Shinku, full human form, dressed in a red sundress with her hair in a ponytail. She had black tights on as well. If this was real, then so was an alternate version of her in a video game (Rachel Alucard from Blazblue). Sure enough, she looked like her, with her blue eyes and blonde hair. She even sounds and has the same name as Shinku! But the way she acts could make her an imposter, but for some reason, something about her just said that she was Shinku, believable or not. Also the fact that she knew about the Rozen Maiden dolls and that Shinku was the 5th doll was hard to believe. They called her down after she got dressed to discuss what the hell happened. Jun started it off.

"Ok, so you say you're Shinku, but how can we believe that you are? Shinku is a doll. A living breathing doll! You're lifesize, and Shinku is, well, not. Second, if you are Shinku, as you say, then how did you become human? Did Rozen have something to do with this, and if so, why did he do it? Answer those questions now, if you really are Shinku!" Jun demanded. Nori watched from the kitchen while making tea for this...Shinku person. Shinku nodded and sat up, intent to explain all of these actions, but the next words that came out her mouth were not expected.

"I don't really know. One moment I was a grumpy old doll, and the next, I'm a full human who decided to commit the sinful deed of sleeping with my servant!" She explained with no guilt or remorse, just confidence.

Jun's and Nori's glasses slid down before they pushed them back up. Jun looked shocked while Nori, being the lovey-dovey that she is, just squealed and hugged Shinku, not caring about whether she was the real thing or not, but just because she found love in her brother, Jun, but for some reason, Nori felt…a little jealous.

Jun, on the other hand, was just about to up and yell at them both when the door crashed and in stepped a lifesize Suiseiseki, followed by her twin, Souseiseki, who were both the same as Shinku: humans, but has different outfits. Suiseiseki was wearing a simple green dress while Souseiseki was wearing dark blue pants with a dark blue short sleeve shirt. It made her look like a boy, coupled with the fact that her chest was…not quite there yet. Suiseiseki was looking around, angry as ever, when she spotted Jun. Then her facial expression changed from angry to…shy. She was even blushing like a little school girl.

"Junny…I found you, my darling!" Suiseiseki said.

The following things happened: Souseiseki gasped, Nori gasped and blushed, Shinku gasped, blushed and grew jealous, and as for Jun?

He rightly froze and fainted, due to the shock of Suiseiseki calling him Junny, and darling. Shinku rose and marched up to Suiseiseki, anger in her eyes. "Darling? Why are you referring to Jun as your darling, Suiseiseki?" The fifth Rozen…uhm…human demanded. Suiseiseki simply laughed at her and smirked evily.

"Shinku, you can't possibly think that Jun would fall for YOU, with your ugly hair, stupid eyes and that, ugh, HORRIBLE VOICE? I so say that you do not have the qualities to become Junny's wife! Meanwhile I, The lovely Suiseiseki, have every right to become Junny's lovely wife and bare his wonderful children in my beautiful body!" the green girl said quite proudly, prompting Shinku to nearly pounce on her. Nori was watching with hateful yet lovestruck eyes. She couldn't believe that these two were fighting over Jun, but at the same time, it was HER Jun. She knew him first, and that sparked her jealousy. Before she could do anything, she had to check on Jun…who had mysteriously disappeared, and come to think of it…so did Souseiseki…

In Jun's room, Souseiseki kidnapped the unconscious Jun and locked the door, knowing her sisters, they would break it down as soon as they stopped arguing, which wouldn't be for a while. As soon as she locked it, Jun finally woke up, and Souseiseki sat down in his chair. Jun sat up and looked around.

"Ugh…where…am I? My room? The last thing I remembered…was Suiseiseki-"

"Calling you her darling?" Souseiseki interrupted.

"Yes, she did, and I think I can tell you why" Jun shot up to see Souseiseki sitting in his chair, but dared to not make any movements. Today was crazy enough, with him waking up to a naked Shinku, and Suiseiseki calling him darling, wanting to be his wife and asking to have his kids, so getting a explanation from Souseiseki wouldn't probably surprise him in the least today. The first two things didn't click in his mind, but the third thing did. He might as well get an explanation from someone who wasn't after his PINGAS, but seeing the behavior from her sisters, he had his doubts.

"Ok then, Souseiseki, tell me. Why are all of you lifesize? Why is Suiseiseki lusting after me? WHY DID I WAKE UP TO A NAKED SHINKU THIS MORNING? PLEASE EXPLAIN, SOUSEISEKI!" Jun nearly lost it, but hey, who wouldn't after this strange turn of events? Souseiseki blushed madly after hearing about Shinku, but regained her posture and cleared her throat. "Anyway, excluding you possibly sleeping with Shinku, I think I know the reasons for all of this." Jun calmed down and listened. "Ok, I'm listening."

Souseiseki looked at Jun and spoke. "This is the curse of Rozen, and I think he's trying to tell us something."

Jun blinked and wondered. "What…is he trying to say?"

"That the Alice Game…is banned"

EDIT: Whether Jun and Shinku did it goes by two things: One is according to the Japanese Age of Consent, which is 13, but some prefectures go by 18. IN this case, I'm using the general. The second thing is pretty much your imagination, so take that what you will.