Finding Jane
"I don't need any of this," Jane said, casting a doubtful look at the colorful bric-a-brac that crowded the shelves of the store aisle they stood in. "The safe hou-" She caught herself and tried again. "My house – it's already got stuff in it. Furniture and all that."
"This isn't about furniture, Jane," Kurt said patiently, setting a heavy picture frame back on the shelf. "It's about getting things that you like. Your own personal touch."
"I don't know what I like," Jane mumbled, her arms unconsciously wrapping themselves around her torso.
"Which is why we're here. Mission for the night – find out what Jane likes." Kurt picked up a bright pink Hello Kitty mug from the available assortment. "This what your life's been missing?"
Jane's eyes flickered from the mug to his smiling face. She gave a reluctant smile in return, but her arms remained tightly hugged around her waist. "There's – there's too much stuff here," she confessed. "It's a bit overwhelming. I don't know where to look."
Kurt gazed at her thoughtfully for a second.
"I've got an idea, then." He placed the mug back on the shelf and put an arm on Jane's elbow. "Come with me."
Jane obediently followed his lead to an aisle filled with throw pillows and blankets. She shot a quizzical look at Kurt, who pulled a fuzzy blue blanket off the shelf and held it out to her. "Feel this," he said.
Jane reached out a tentative hand and rubbed the knotted fabric.
"How does it feel?" Kurt asked, watching her face.
"Uh, it's all right, I guess?" She looked up at him questioningly.
"This isn't a test, Jane. It's okay if you don't like it." Kurt put back the blue blanket and pulled down a thin knit that he proffered to her. Jane dutifully rubbed the delicate fabric, shrugging her shoulders.
"This one's nice, I guess."
Kurt replaced the blanket without a word, holding out a grey velvet one next. Jane's hand had barely skimmed the fabric when she recoiled from it, wagging her fingers in the air as if to remove a pollutant. Kurt burst into a hearty laugh at the look on her face as he unceremoniously stuffed the blanket back with the others.
"We've found what you don't like, then. Velvet is out."
"Yeah…" Jane trailed off, looking back at the offending material. "I guess I – I really don't like it…"
Kurt smiled as he offered the next one. "We're getting somewhere, Jane."
And indeed they were, because when Jane felt the soft wool blanket she fingered it cautiously, then plunged her arms into it, then rubbed it against her cheek with a soft sigh. Her eyes, when they met Kurt's, were shining in delight.
"I love this," she blurted out. "This is amazing." She clutched the blanket to her chest. "Can I keep this? Can we buy it?"
Kurt gave an amused nod. "'Course we can get it," he said.
"It feels so good," Jane said wondrously, burying her hands deep in its folds.
Kurt watched her hands explore the fabric. He had a sudden, fierce desire to buy one of the blankets for himself. A dozen, actually. And to have all of his clothing made from that material. His eyebrows knotted as he brushed away the ridiculous inclination.
"All right, we're done here," he announced, a bit more sharply than he'd intended. Jane looked up at him questioningly, but his expression was inscrutable as he turned away.
"Follow me."
Jane trailed slightly behind him as he led her to the next aisle, still absorbed in her new self-discovery. She looked up when Kurt stopped and found herself surrounded by scented candles.
"Now you know what you like to touch. Let's find out what you like to smell."
They spent the next half hour going through what seemed like every candle in the aisle. Most – vanilla, lavender, cinnamon spice – were quickly discarded, while Jane lingered slightly longer over the apple pie. "I think I'd prefer to eat apple pie, though."
"We'll have to buy some then," Kurt said, replacing the candle and handing Jane a pale blue one labeled "Ocean Breeze". Jane closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, a small smile rising unbidden to her lips. "Apparently I like the smell of ocean breezes," she said. "Let's get this one."
Then she smelled a green candle labeled "Nordic Pine", and abandoned the ocean breeze in a heartbeat. "This –" she said deliriously between heady inhales of the dark wax, "-is amazing. Oh my god, this is amazing. I love it."
Kurt watched her blissful state in satisfaction, the corners of his lips twitching upwards. "We'll get a bunch, then," he said, depositing half a dozen of the green candles into an empty shopping basket on the floor.
"Here, put your stuff in here too," he told Jane. She bent over and added her candle to the pile, carefully laying the blanket on top. Kurt bent to pick up the basket just as Jane straightened up, and for a moment her senses were flooded with a heady scent more intoxicating than anything she'd smelled that night. She closed her eyes, momentarily dizzy.
"Jane?" Kurt touched her shoulder. "You okay?"
She let out a slow breath and her eyes fluttered open to meet Kurt's questioning gaze.
"I'm fine," she said quickly. "I –" She shook her head. I caught your scent, and it took my breath away didn't feel like something she should be saying out loud.
Kurt was still looking at her uncertainly. "Maybe we're done for tonight," he said. "Let's pay for these and get you home."
It was only when they had driven halfway back that Kurt remembered the light bulbs he'd wanted to pick up for the lamp in Jane's living room. He flicked on the indicator and pulled into the parking lot of a 7-11.
"I'll just be a second, if you want to stay in the car," he told Jane, but she had already unbuckled her seatbelt and followed him in, the bells over the door jangling as they entered.
Kurt picked out a package of 70-watt lightbulbs, then found Jane studying the Slurpee machine. "Want a Slurpee?" he asked genially.
The look she gave him was unexpectedly vulnerable. "I don't know if I like them."
Kurt paused for a moment, then shrugged. "Only one way to find out." He picked up a stack of cups and handed half to Jane.
"One of each," he said, smiling. "Let's try 'em all."
Her eyes flickered between his, her face lifting into a startled smile. "Okay," she said. "Let's do it."
Twenty minutes later, they were ensconced on Jane's couch, an array of half-eaten and half-melted Slurpees scattered over the coffee table.
"That's the last of them," Jane said cheerily, downing a mouthful of cherry red ice. "Ow," she yelped suddenly, clutching her temples. "My head…"
"It's called 'brain freeze'," Kurt grinned. "Too much Slurpee'll do it to you."
"It hurts!" Jane exclaimed in surprise, massaging her head.
"Rub your tongue back and forth against the top of your mouth," Kurt advised. "It'll make the headache go away."
"My – my mouth?"
"Yeah, you need to warm up your mouth."
Jane's expression knitted as she vigorously rubbed her tongue along her palate.
Let me do that for you. Kurt almost said it out loud. He had leaned towards her without even realizing it.
His sudden intake of breath made Jane look up suddenly, her eyes widening when she caught his. For a moment neither of them moved. Then Kurt dropped his eyes and leaned back. He swallowed audibly and stood up from the couch.
"I better head out."
Jane watched him, motionless on the couch, her mouth opened in soundless disappointment. For a moment she'd thought – she'd thought that maybe –
"Here; don't forget this." Kurt reached into the shopping bag and pulled out the new blanket, snapping off the cords that had bound it. He unfolded the soft wool and leaned over Jane, draping it over her.
That smell again. Jane closed her eyes, breathing his scent in deeply. She felt him let go of the blanket, and her eyes flew open in distress – but he was still leaning over her, watching her, a bewildered look in his eyes. He made to straighten up, but her hand flew out as if of its own accord and grabbed his.
Stay with me.
"Wait," she said.
"Jane?" His eyes searched hers.
"I – I wanted to thank you. For tonight. For helping me find more of – of me."
"It's a start."
"It seems – silly, not to even know what I like to touch or to smell, but you – I just – thank you."
Kurt's eyes searched hers intently for a moment. They both looked down at where her hand still gripped his. Jane didn't let go.
Instead she stretched out her other hand and ever so gently brushed it against Kurt's rough cheek, cradling his face in her palm as she had the first time they'd met.
"Jane." He whispered her name, barely audible.
"Kurt."
She pulled him to her – carefully, gently – and kissed him.
He gave a small gasp of surprise against her lips, stiffening slightly. She kissed him again, lightly, softly. Then she pulled back and looked up into his eyes. They were wide, startled, unsure – but as she held his gaze steadily, his eyes darkened with desire.
"Show me what you like," he murmured. "Let's find more of you." He was kissing her, then, roughly, impatiently, laying down next to her, his hands cradling her head, his body pressed against hers. She was kissing him back, hungrily, desperately, her arms entwined around his neck, pulling him closer, devouring him like a dying man's last breath.
She liked him with his clothing hurriedly yanked off; she liked him trailing hot kisses along her skin; she liked him moving inside her, his eyes never closing for a moment, watching her arch back in ecstasy.
She liked him draped next to her, heaving chest slowly settling, his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her close, her head fitted perfectly beneath his own.
She liked to draw slow patterns on his arm with her fingers, watching the cooling sweat disappear.
"Kurt."
"Hmm." His eyes were still open, watching her.
"I think – tonight's mission was a pretty good success."
Kurt smiled, running his fingers rhythmically through her cropped hair. "Find out what Jane likes. I suppose we did."
"Yeah, that – that blanket was a really good find…"
She broke into soft laughter at his momentary jaw drop, then buried her head back against the reassuring steadiness of his heartbeat.
"Just you wait," Kurt murmured against her forehead. "Tomorrow we're trying every jelly bean that's ever been invented."
The slow rhythm of her breathing told him she was drifting off to sleep. Kurt laid a gentle kiss on her head and closed his eyes.
I spent my whole life searching for you. I won't stop now.
*AN*AN*AN*AN*
Check out my accompanying video on youtube; "Flashlight" by user chavivi86.