Fixing Me

Chapter One

I wasn't the type of person that opened up easily. Things had happened to me. Not good things. And because of that, I had built up these walls. More specifically, I built these walls up around my heart. I didn't want to get hurt again. There was no way in hell that I would let that happen again. So there you have it. I'm a damaged girl with walls built up and virtually friendless. Yea me. Aren't I just such a lucky girl?

Don't get me wrong, I did have some friends. They knew what had happened and they helped to support me. I was glad to have them, but I still felt alone. Alone and lost. Also, I have to add something else. It didn't help that I had supernatural abilities. Yea, you read that right. Guess what guys? This chick right here is a vampire. Such is my life. So feeling alone and being a vampire that has been alive for hundreds of years is not exactly a good combo. One might say that is an epic fail. Or something like that.

Though things have changed for me. Somewhat. And it all started when I met this new girl. She came into my work (Yes, I am a vampire with a job. What? I have to keep myself occupied somehow) and into my life and turned everything upside down. And somehow, she was starting to get to my built up walls. If anyone could tear those down, it would be her. Honestly, that thought scared the living shit out of me.

"Hey Carmilla! Hey! Don't walk away from me!"

I sighed as I heard a voice yelling my name. I really just wanted to get home. How hard was it to clock out and go home? I had some yummy blood with my name on it… and maybe some cookies afterwards. I sighed and turned around. Before turning around, I hadn't realized who had called me. But as soon as I met her eyes, I couldn't help but smile. "Hey."

"I didn't think that I would catch you in time. I wanted to ask you something before you left for the day"

I rolled my eyes. Typical girl. "Yes Laura? What did you want?"

Laura smiled at me. I swear that smile could light up anyones day. Seriously. "I saw on the schedule that we both have tomorrow off. I was just curious if you wanted to hang out?"

I raised an eyebrow and just smiled. Of course she was going to ask that. I had noticed that same thing to, but I wasn't sure if I should do anything about that. Yes, we were coworkers, but I wouldn't have called us friends or anything. This would be first time we both would have done something together outside of work. That made me nervous. I had my friends (LaFontaine and my brother to be exact. They were my only friends). "Well…"

Laura frowned. "I didn't mean to assume…" she said softly. "It's just… I really want to get to know you better. I don't just want to be just your coworker… I want to be your friend too."

I frowned too. Damnit, I didn't mean to make the girl sad. That wasn't what I was aiming for. I just didn't want to get hurt again. But I couldn't be telling her that. "Sorry Laura. I'm afraid of my heart breaking again. So I'll just be an ass and not be nice to you. I hope thats ok!" Yea, that would totally go over well. "Hey, don't worry about that." Smooth. "But I just wasn't expecting you to ask." Total BS. "But hanging out with you would be great." Smooth Karnstein, smooth.

"Thats great!" Laura said happily. "Hey, do you care if we swap numbers? Maybe tonight we could discuss plans for tomorrow?"

I pulled out my phone. I can not believe that I was doing this. I told myself that this wouldn't happen again. I even told my friends that. Although they didn't believe me. "C'mon Karnstein, you know that love will find it's way to you again. It's just a matter of time. Loves fickle arrow shall pierce your heart and fill you with so much happiness that you will die!" Yea, still not believing that one LaF. And besides, I couldn't die. I had this curse bestowed upon me. One of the perks of being part of the undead.

Laura took my phone and put her number in it. Am I really just accepting this? "Here you go!" She told me and smiled once again. Yes, yes I am accepting this. "I have to get to work now, but text me and I'll be sure to answer!" She handed the phone back to me. "Don't be a stranger!" And with that, she skipped away. She skipped. She freakin skipped. Oh goodness. Ok heart, you can calm down now.

"So let me get this straight. You are going out tomorrow with your coworker? The one that just recently got hired? The one that you've been crushing on since you first laid eyes on her?"

"Woah LaF, so many questions. Calm down."

The ginger scrunched up their nose. "Sorry, I'm just trying to get all the facts right. Have you told Will?"

That was something I didn't not want to deal with. "No." I told them. "And I'm not planning on telling him yet. You know how defensive he gets about me."

LaF seemed to agree with that. "True story. Although you know, for being a badass vampire, you sometimes lack the badassery."

I punched LaF in the shoulder. "Hush you." I laughed. "It's just I haven't… well, you know. Thank God me and Will don't have our mother to deal with." Ah, my mother. That was a story for another time. "You know that she would have had a field day over this."

"Again, true story."

"And she even put her number in my phone. I haven't texted her yet… I'm kinda afraid to."

That got LaF to raise an eyebrow. "You were never nervous around me!"

"But thats because… well… you are LaF!"

"That explains SO much." she rolled her eyes. "But I get what you are saying. But damnit Carmilla, just text the girl and get it over with! It's like ripping a bandaide off."

"I have never done that. Vampire, remember?"

"Well just know that hurts like hell." they told me. "And it's not a very fun thing. We humans use that as a metaphor all the time."

"Duly noted." I said and I pulled out my phone. If I was going to do this, I better get it done with. Like pulling off a bandaide. Easy, right? "Ok, I'll text her. But what should I say?"

"Tell her that you want to suck her blood and make her join you and Will in the land of the undead."

I stared at them. Honestly, I swear that sometimes that my friend did not have a serious bone in their body. "Yes, and thats the line that I use to pick up all my female friends." Ah sarcasm, such a good friend of mine. We often kept each other warm at night.

"Just ask her how work is going. That is a good starting thing. Then take it from there." LaF said as if it was the most oblivious thing to say. "I know that you have a hard time with people, but this Laura girl sounds good. You need to explore this and don't goof it up."

"Don't goof it up… right…" I said quietly. I was the master of goofing stuff up. Part of why I didn't get along well with others. Being a vampire for hundreds of years kinda tends to introduce one to the life of a loner.

Carmilla: Hey, it's Carmilla. I'm texting you to see if you are still alive. Or did the customers eat you alive yet?

Moments later I got a response back. She must be bored.

Laura: Hey you! I'm still intact! I don't think that I would taste very yummy. Besides, I'm too cute to eat.

And that led to a very long texting conversation (like for the rest of the day and night). Of course LaF teased me about it, but I didn't care. I enjoyed texting the tiny but cute human. But I still wasn't letting her get to these walls. It was too soon. Too soon to start caring again.