WOO! FINALLY WROTE A FANFIC IN TIME FOR AKUROKU DAY!
I'm awesome.
So yeah, hope you like it! If you want a song, I suggest listening to "Love Addict" by Family Force 5.
'KAY READ IT!
Roxas woke up that morning feeling bright and chipper.
"Today," he said, "is going to be the best day ever!"
He happily rose from his bed and got dressed into his organization uniform. He opened the door with delight, and strutted down the hallway. He decided for his breakfast today, he would spoil himself and have sea salt ice cream. He entered The Kitchen That Never Was, and got himself the ice cream from the freezer. He then ventured into The Grey Area and continued to happily eat his ice cream.
That was, until, Xigbar entered.
"ROXAS, BUDDY!" he said, and plopped himself down beside Roxas, his arm around the little nobodies shoulder. Roxas sighed.
"Hi Xigbar."
"Big day today, huh?" said Xigbar, punching the short nobodies arm. Roxas looked at him, confused.
Could it be, thought Roxas, he knows I had a really good sleep last night and feel great today?
"You know what I'm talking about!" Xigbar said with a creepy old man wink. Roxas slowly nodded his head, not sure what to say. Xigbar pointed towards the door.
"You'll remember in three… two… one…"
And Axel walked through the door.
Roxas looked at Xigbar.
"…What?"
"I'll leave you two alone!" Xigbar said. He ran out the door, giving Axel a high five on the way. As the door closed behind him, as faint girly giggle could be heard.
"Hi Axel!" said Roxas cheerfully. He wasn't sure what Xigbar was talking about, but he was glad to see his friend. Axel, too, was happy to see his friend, but for a different reason.
"Heee~y buddy!" Axel said, sitting next to Roxas just as Xigbar did.
"Why does everyone keep calling me buddy?" Roxas asked, just as he went to take a bite of his sea salt ice cream. However, since the tiny nobody waited so long for his next bite, the ice cream started melting. As he took the bite, a small amount of melted ice cream slowly dripped out the corner of his mouth, running its path down his chin.
"Here," Axel said, "Let me get that."
Axel put his right hand gently under Roxas chin, lifting it up ever so slightly. The red-headed nobody pressed his tongue where the ice cream drop stopped on the chin, and slowly licked it up towards the corner of Roxas' mouth.
"WHOA!" Roxas said, moving to the other side of the couch. "WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHAT THE HELL?"
"What?" Axel replied, moving on all fours to the side of the couch Roxas had moved to. "I'm just helping you with your friend! Isn't that what friends are for?"
"Not like that!"
Roxas lifted the front of Axels coat and stuck his ice cream down his chest (and if you listened very closely, the sound of the ice cream making contact with Axel's skin sounded a lot like "Not Want")
Axel started jumping and making hilariously awkward movements trying to get it out, while Roxas escaped from the room at full speed, back into his own room, falling face first onto his bed.
"What the hell…" he said, quietly at first. The anger in him rose, and he turned over and sat up, yelling "WHAT THE HELL!"
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
"NO AXEL!" Roxas yelled. "You can't come in!"
"It's not Axel."
"Oh okay, come on in!"
The door opened, revealing Larxene and Marluxia standing there.
"Why don't you want Axel here?" Larxene asked. "I thought of all days you would have loved it if he were here!"
Roxas began angsting.
"Why? Why is today such an important day?"
"Oh dear!" Marluxia said, flicking his hair, flower petals constantly falling behind him which appeared to come from no where. "Axel wouldn't very please to hear you talking like that!"
Roxas, once more, fell face first onto his bed. Larxene and Marluxia shared an evil smirk between each other, then Larxene went into her best caring voice.
"I'm sure Xion will explain things to you!"
"Yeah!" Roxas said, starting to feel chipper once more, "Xion will tell me! Why didn't I go see her first?"
Roxas ran past the girly nobody and Larxene, his heart pounding in his ears so loud he couldn't hear the evil snickering of the other nobodies.
After endless minutes of searching, Roxas finally found Xion roaming the hallways.
"Xion!" Roxas yelled after her. She turned around to face him.
"Roxas?"
"Xion!"
"Rox…as?"
"XION!"
Then suddenly…
They met up.
"Xion!" Roxas said her name as if it were filled with all the light in the world. "You can explain everything to me, right?"
"Sure thing! First, you and Axel were friends. Then I came into the group. You started to give hints that you'd rather hang out with me then with Axel-"
"I don't remember that-"
"And then you went and made all that porno with Axel!"
Xion kicked him in his soft spot and ran away crying, leaving Roxas curled up in a ball on the floor.
"What… porno?"
"So you don't know what's been going on."
Roxas slowly uncurled himself just enough so he could look up to see who was talking to him.
"Saix!"
"Yes, it is I. Saix, The Luna Diviner."
"It doesn't matter how many times you introduce yourself like that, Saix. Everyone's still going to call you Saix puppy."
"SHUT UP! But this whole ordeal does relate to… that name of mine."
"Huh? Really? Are you finally going to tell me what's going on?"
"Well, I was, then you brought THAT up again-"
"Wait! I'm sorry!"
Saix gave him a creepy evil smile.
"Then call me 'Saix, the Luna Diviner, and the ultimate Seme.'"
"… Are you a teenage girl or something?"
"JUST DO IT!"
"Fine… please tell me about what's going on, oh Great Saix, the Luna Diviner, the Ultimate… Seme?"
Saix nodded.
"I like how you added 'Great' to it."
"Y… you didn't say that?"
"It doesn't matter. Get up already and I'll show you what's going on."
Finally, after way too much dialogue in an akuroku fanfic that wasn't between Roxas and Axel, Roxas got up and followed Saix into a dark, secretive room.
"What does this have to do with anything?" Roxas said, his voice echoing, revealing the largeness of the room.
"Everything," Saix said dramatically as he turned on the light.
In the middle of the room lay a laptop.
That was it.
"What does a computer have to do with Axel licking me?"
"It's not the computer, it's what's on the computer."
Roxas stared, mesmerized at the laptop, as Saix turned it on, which is weird because he knew what it was called, but not what it did.
Finally Saix got onto his account, his background screensaver a picture of himself and Xemnas doing something unmentionable with raisin bread. Roxas tried to take his eyes away, but they just wouldn't move.
"What the hell-"
Saix clicked something, making the screen white for a moment.
"You should just ignore that- THIS is what is happening! What I just opened onto is called 'The Internet.' Now, what I'm about to show you on the internet may damage your life forever."
Roxas dramatically looked behind him into the distance. Saix continued.
"Are you sure you're ready f-"
"Stop yammering."
Saix's eyes widened.
"Roxas…"
Roxas spun around.
"Just show it already!"
And the next half hour of Roxas's life was the most horrific, disturbing half hour he had ever gone through. By the end of it, Roxas was against the wall opposite the laptop, curled up in a ball, his hands over his ears, quietly whispering "make it stop"
"Now," Saix said, turning to Roxas. "What you just heard is teen pop sensation Rebecca Black. Are you now prepared to see why Axel and everyone is acting this way?"
Roxas nodded.
"Nothing could possibly be worse than that."
Finally, after dragging this on way longer than it should have been, Saix should him all the videos, pictures and fanfictions that led to everyone's behaviour.
At the end of the four and a half hours, Roxas, who had stood up to watch everything, fell against the wall.
"Wow…"
Saix, who had been distracted by his screensaver, reluctantly turned to Roxas.
"Now do you understand?"
Roxas nodded, his face hardening.
"I get it now."
"Sweet!" said Axel, bursting in through the door. "What do you say?"
Roxas sighed.
"If it's what the fangirls want."
Axel smiled.
"I've still got some melted ice cream on my body!"
And they skipped off together, holding hands.
Yup.
I was considering having Saix give some random monologue, but it's not related to akuroku.
So, I hope you like it!
AKUROKU FTW!