Jumping fandoms again. It took me forever, and a lot of pestering my sister, but it is complete and I am proud. Hahaha. It'd really be a sad thing if I owned Harry Potter and I haven't even visited the theme park. (Someone please pay for me to go, I want to go so bad!)
Lily sighed and turned over in her bed for what felt like the hundredth time. Guessing it must be past midnight, she glanced over at her alarm clock. 1:47 shone in red numbers. Sighing again, Lily opened her hangings and walked to the table under the window with a pitcher of water and five goblets on it.
The redhead poured a goblet for herself and drank it quickly, looking out onto the grounds. Typically, the nights at Hogwarts were so dark you could barely see a few feet in front of you, but tonight was a brilliant full moon, and she could see all the way to the gamekeeper's hut.
Glancing at her bed and back to the open grounds, she decided some fresh air and a moonlit walk would be just what the doctor ordered. Definitely against the rules, but being a prefect for the past two-and-a-half years meant she knew a fair bit of the Hogwarts secret passageways and could probably sneak around without getting caught by Filch or Mrs. Norris.
Pulling on her red dressing gown and some sturdy shoes, she made her way quietly to the portrait hole. Lily pushed the Fat Lady's portrait open and ignored her squawk of protest, knowing she'd done this enough when Potter and his friends snuck out.
Lily breathed deeply as she slipped out of the oak doors. She stood there for a minute, filling her lungs with the crisp air and admiring the moon's effect on the grounds. She set off, strolling across the grounds, her feet making the path to the greenhouses by habit.
As she drew nearer to them, a howling caught her attention and slowed her to a stop. She'd heard that there were werewolves at Hogwarts, but she'd never believed it. But it was the full moon…
She shook her head. The full moon doesn't necessarily mean that there's a werewolf, stop psyching yourself out, she scolded herself sternly. She kept walking, making it to the greenhouses, and deviated her path to towards the Whomping Willow. Coming nearer to the tree, she sighed, turned, and started walking back up to the castle.
Barely making it a few steps, a shooting star streaked above Lily, drawing her attention and forcing her thoughts back to her childhood. "Star light, star bright, the first star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish…" she trailed off, pondering what she would wish for.
A growl sounded from the edge of the forest. Lily froze. She turned slowly on her heel, spinning to see a giant silver wolf looking directly at her. Then her eyes caught onto the smaller details: a shorter snout, tuft tail, and (however hard to see) human−like pupils. "Werewolf!" she whisper screamed, scared to do anything but stand stock-still and pray that it would ignore her. Latching onto the small part of her that wasn't overcome by terror, she groped for her wand, forgetting that she had chosen to leave it in the dormitory.
The werewolf's eyes traced her movements, howled loudly, and leapt at her. Lily screamed, ducking down and placing her arms over her head. Feeling tears of fear start to leak out of her eyes, she gave a sob at the thought being killed before she got married, had a child, done something for the world besides be a Hogwarts prefect and head girl.
The sound of the werewolf charging her was outmatched by another sound. Hooves? A horse screaming? Lily looked up, her sight blurred by tears, and saw, not a horse, but a deer. A stag, with giant prongs curving up from his head. Its back was facing her, his head lowered against werewolf, keeping it back. The werewolf was forced to back up, growling and snarling, trying to get past the giant antlers.
A black dog the size of a bear bounded up beside the werewolf and barked at it. The werewolf growled at it. The black dog barked again, and Lily could've sworn the werewolf's canine expression was saying what? aided by an inquisitive snarl. The dog barked and wagged his tail. Lily clambered to her feet in an effort to get away, but the werewolf turned back to her. Her knees shook, but the stag moved in front of the wolf again, and she used his body to steady herself. The dog barked again, sounding nearly indignant.
The werewolf stared at her, almost judgingly, as she leaned against the stag.
Then, moving so quickly she almost didn't see it, the werewolf jumped past the stag's prongs and knocked her to the ground. She couldn't scream with her heart lodged in her throat, but the stag screamed for her and charged at the wolf. It jumped off Lily but kept its gaze on her as she used the stag's body to pull herself up. Anxiously, she started stroking the shaking animal, smoothing the matted fur on his head.
The werewolf moved forward slowly, pausing when the stag lowered his head, but slowly moved closer to the terrified redhead. Lily drew herself up as he came, and stared directly into the human-ish yellow eyes. It sniffed her. Dumbfounded, she didn't move, frozen with her hands on the stag and her knees locked to keep from falling. The werewolf sniffed her again, twice more, and sat down on its hindquarters.
It howled, nearly stopping her heart, stood and moved towards her again, opening its jaw, but the dog ran up behind it and nipped at its tail. The wolf turned and tried to scratch the dog, but it danced out the way and ran towards the forest, the wolf chasing after it.
She stared at the spot where they'd disappeared, knees trembling again. This time she actually did fall, but far from hitting the ground, she was caught by two strong arms.
"Evans! Evans! Come on, Lily, you can't do this! You need to get up to the castle!" James Potter said quickly, forcing her back onto her feet and grabbing her shoulders.
"Potter?" It was. Messed up hair and all. Her shock at his appearance dissolved quickly. "Potter, there was− there was a−"
"A werewolf, yeah, that's why you need to back up to the castle! Here, behind greenhouse five, there's a bunch planets craved onto the wall, press on Jupiter, it'll open a passageway." He shook her slightly as he spoke, then dragged her back a few steps towards the greenhouses.
"But− but−"
"Come on, Lily! Here, Peter, you lead her to the passageway, I need to go help Sirius! Lily, just follow the rat, okay? Follow him!" He dashed away, leaving her staring stupidly as his body changed smoothly into the stag that had defended her from the werewolf.
"Wha…what…"
"Come on, Lily, you've got to come, we need to get up to the castle," a quavering voice said behind her. She turned and saw Peter Pettigrew standing behind her, his hands wringing anxiously as he look to the forest.
"Pettigrew?"
He nodded, and said, "Lily, we need to get to the castle, I don't know how long James and Sirius can keep him in the forest when there are humans around. Come on."
He grabbed her wrist and started leading her up to the greenhouses. Lily was so shocked and, she wouldn't deny it, downright terrified, she couldn't do anything but follow. After a few steps though, her legs failed her again and she would have fallen flat on her face, but Pettigrew grabbed her and pulled her up straight again. On the short walk to the greenhouses it happened another four times, but Peter kept on steadying her and saying, "Come on!" in a quiet, desperate voice.
They wound their way around to the back of greenhouse five, where there were indeed a map of the solar system carved in the side of the school. Pettigrew pressed on the largest one and a rail-thin opening appeared in the stone. "It opens up after you go along it a bit," Pettigrew said, glancing behind him to the forest. "But I think you might have to turn sideways to get through the first few feet like James and Sirius."
Lily automatically opened her mouth to retort to the sentence, but nothing came out. There seemed to be some sort of a buzzing inside of her head, keeping her from thinking normally.
"Lily? Lily? Come on, you have to go through." Pettigrew. He grabbed her wrist. "Lily, you need to go through the passageway, alright? Come on."
He turned Lily sideways and pushed her into the opening. There was barely enough room to breathe, but Pettigrew pushed her shoulder some and she moved a few inches down it. "It's only a few feet, Lily, just keeping walking sideways."
She moved a few inches at a time, but after maybe five minutes' worth of shuffling, the passage did open into a more comfortable width. She collapsed to her knees, hugging herself, and repressing sobs. She could have died. She would have died if not for the stag and the dog. And the stag was apparently James Potter.
A brown rat ran past her. "Lily? Lily, come on, get up," Pettigrew said into her ear, pulling her up by the elbow. Lily looked down at him. "Alright, Lily, if go straight along here, you'll end up on the third floor around the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, okay? If you want the first left and then a right, it will let you out behind Advilla the Unfortunate's portrait, the one right near the Fat Lady. Okay?"
Lily nodded. She set off down the passageway, trying to look purposeful, but she had barely made it a few steps when she stumbled and barely managed to find her feet in time not to crash. "Lily?" Pettigrew asked behind her. She glanced back at him, seeing that he looked torn between pity and awkwardness. "Do you want me to come with you? The others will only need me at moonset."
She nodded again. He fell in step behind her, silently prodding her back when she slowed nearly to a stop. Eventually, they came to a canvas-covered opening and Pettigrew pushed it open without a word, climbing out and waiting for Lily to climb out behind him. She blinked at the familiar corridor; they were only two corridors away from the portrait hole.
Pettigrew pulled her along, leading her back to the Fat Lady. Once they were in the common room, he pushed her down into a chair near the fireplace and crossed to look outside. He gasped. "We took too long getting up here, by the time I get manage to find them it could be moonset! They'll need me to past the Willow!" He raced out of the room before Lily managed to ask what he meant around the lump taking up residence in her throat.
Left on her own, Lily drew in several deep, shaky breaths. Deciding some rest would do her some good, she stood, intending to go to her dormitory, but as soon Lily was on her feet, she collapsed back into her chair.
Bringing her legs up to her chest, she hugged herself and stared into the embers of the fire. They were still glowing faintly. She stared at it, thinking, 'That's symbolic in some way…what is it symbolic of?' If she had died, she'd say it was…she nearly died. A werewolf had come out of nowhere while she was taking an out-of-bounds walk around the grounds and had nearly killed her.
The only reason that she managed to escape unscathed was the stag. And James Potter was the stag. An Animagus, and since he wasn't there when she checked the Ministry's registry in third year, he was probably an illegal Animagus. And Potter had told her to follow Pettigrew and the rat as if they were the same person, so he was one, too. The dog and the werewolf…she snorted, because if one marauder was in on something, and especially two, the rest would be too.
Potter and Pettigrew had talked about Sirius getting him to back down, so the giant dog was probably Black. But that meant that the werewolf was…She cut through her muddled thoughts and eliminated that idea. Snape had had that idea since second year and had talked her ear of about it more times than she could count. It was probably the slimy Death Eater's idea that had gotten into her head. He was always saying anything and everything that could be said against Potter and the rest of the Marauders.
What was Potter doing out there? Why were he and Pettigrew and Black going out when they evidently knew that there was a werewolf roaming the grounds? And what if Dumbledore didn't know? She'd heard plenty of rumors about werewolves living in the Forbidden Forest, but she had managed to wheedle it out Professor Slughorn that the rumors of werewolves were put out there by the staff to keep students out of the forest. There was a normal pack of wolves, but normal wolves avoided humans; they didn't actively hunt and almost kill certain redheaded, seventeen-year-old Gryffindors.
Potter. James Henry Potter knew about the werewolf and had kept said werewolf from attacking by transforming into a huge stag to defend her. Not to mention that Sirius Black had apparently said or did something to the werewolf that made it tackle her to the ground and sniff her without giving her a scratch. And then Peter Pettigrew had taken her through a secret passageway up to Gryffindor Tower, turning into a rat to get through part of it.
Remus wasn't there, though. Maybe she could squeeze it out of him what his thick-headed friends were thinking when they started spending full moons with a werewolf that probably wasn't even supposed to be near Hogwarts. They had been good friends for a long time now…but, Remus wouldn't be able to tell her anything unless she wanted to sneak down to the Hospital Wing. He'd told her that he was going to go to there after he had nearly thrown up his morning pancake and bacon. Come to think, Remus was sick a lot. Away a lot, visiting his sick mother (at least he had before she died), or a cousin's wedding, or…the grandmother's funeral he'd gone to three times…
'Every month at the full moon?' Unbidden, Snape's words from a few years ago slipped into her mind. She banished them quickly, thinking back to the fact that Potter, Pettigrew, and Black were running around entertaining a werewolf. Potter was lucky the werewolf hadn't decided he wanted venison. But then again, no one knew how he got the scar on his forehead or Black's scar on his shoulder. They had sworn to anyone who asked that they had ran afoul of a werewolf, and that Pettigrew's scar on his back and Remus' scars on his face were from the same werewolf. She hadn't believed him then, but in retrospect…
"Evans? Evans, you awake?" Potter's voice, a quiet whisper, broke through her thoughts.
She started and stared at him. He looked thoroughly windswept and had a bad gash in his arm that hadn't been there when he had yelled at her to get back to the castle. Unconsciously, she reached for it, brow furrowing in concern. He pulled away, answering her unsaid question, "It's fine. I've gotten with worse from him."
That jolted something in Lily's brain. "The werewolf? It gave you that?"
"Yeah, he gave it to me; werewolves don't exactly play gently."
"Play? You were playing? That werewolf nearly killed me, it would have…oh, my gosh, and you were the one who stopped it!"
"Yeah, a thank you wouldn't be amiss, by the way, and will you keep your voice down?"
Lily plowed on, barely hearing Potter. "You− you and that dog−"
"Sirius?"
That registered in Lily's head. "Sirius, that dog was Sirius?"
Potter muttered a curse, and spoke his next words cautiously. "Yeah, it was Sirius. I'm the stag, and Peter's the rat."
"You're Animagi! That's illegal-"
"Well, I'd appreciate it you'd stop saying everything so any one could hear, but yeah, we're Animagi, and yeah, we saved your life, which we shouldn't have had to do! You're not supposed to be going around the grounds, especially not at a full moon! Haven't you heard all the rumors about there being werewolves in the Forbidden Forest?"
"I never believed them! And I especially didn't think that there'd be one on the grounds!"
"Well, er−" Potter looked incredibly awkward all of a sudden. "He's, uh, not actually supposed to be out on the grounds. He supposed to stay in the Shrieking Shack, but, um, typically, Sirius and I could keep him under control, and he's much better when he's out in the open air and Peter can open the passageway that lets him out while he's a rat−"
"Wait a minute," Lily said, catching onto the two other names he said and noticing the absence of the fourth Marauder, "no, no, no, no, it can't be…"
"Lily…"
Her throat constricted, making her squeeze her words out in a whisper. "It's Remus, isn't it? He's the werewolf, he− he was the one who nearly attacked me−"
"No, Lily, Remus didn't attack you, it was the wolf, it's sort of like an alter ego or a flip personality−"
"He's a werewolf!" she yelled, and Potter suddenly had a hand over her mouth.
"Keep your voice down! Yes, okay, you figured it out, congratulations, but if you keep on shouting everything you figure out for the whole house to hear, me, Sirius, and Peter will end up in Azkaban and Remus is going to have to deal with hundreds of people knowing his secret. So will you please just shut up?"
Lily nodded, staring shocked silent at Potter's actions. He released her face, rocking back onto his heels in front of her. She stared at him again as he raked a hand through his hair, something she'd always hated he did because of how it made him look so arrogant. "How− how long have you known about…?"
Potter sighed. "Second year. It was Sirius who figured it out. Every time Remus 'went home'" –he made quotation marks−"he'd always leave looking sick and come back the same, 'cept with scars and scratches all over him…we got curious and put the pieces together. Like I'm guessing you did?"
"Sort of…you and Peter were there, and you both mentioned Sirius, but Remus was the only one who wasn't, so…"
"You figured out his condition just from that?"
"No, no, Snape always hinted-"
"Snape?" His voice rose. "Snape's only known since last year, did he tell you-"
She shook her head, thinking back to all the shouting matches she'd had with Snape over it. "No, he's thought Remus was a werewolf since second year."
"Second year? That slimy git!"
His sudden words triggered a wave of defensiveness for Snape and an even bigger one of anger for Potter's hypocrisy. "He was right! I thought he was being just stupidly jealous of you or something, but he was right! He is a werewolf, and you lot have been breaking the law-"
Potter slapped a hand over her mouth again. "Look here, Evans," he said in a low voice, sounding downright dangerous, "I really don't care if you tell McGonagall or even Dumbledore that we're Animagi. We did it to help Remus, and I don't regret it one bit, but if you breathe a word about Remus' condition to anyone I will personally ensure your expulsion!"
"Oh, yeah, and how are you going to do that exactly?"
"I'm better at framing than you think, Evans. I just get caught all the time, 'cause I like the attention."
She stared at him. What other part of her reality was going to get set on fire today? "You…you admitted it…"
"I have an ego the size of Great Britain, how many times have you told me that? Now swear to me that you're not going to tell anyone."
"But the teachers-"
"The teachers already know, Evans, at least the ones that matter do."
"They already know?"
He clenched his jaw. "Yes. Dumbledore personally invited Remus to come to Hogwarts because his parents were planning on keeping him at home for fear of people finding out."
"He had to go and personally invite him? You mean that Remus has been a werewolf since before Hogwarts?"
"Since he was four."
"Four?" Shock and disbelief washed over her. "That's horrible! I've read about werewolves, the transformation is supposed to be agony!"
Potter chuckled bitterly. "Trust me, it is. Every month, two times. Once into a wolf, once into a man."
"Where is he?" Her concern seeped into every word.
"Probably in the Hospital Wing by now. Madam Pompfrey comes up to the Shrieking Shack for him around dawn."
"Dawn?"
"Look out the window, Evans. It must be five in the morning, and the early risers are probably going to be coming down any minute now, so I'd suggest we take this conversation elsewhere?"
"I want to see Remus," Lily declared, standing up and ignoring the painful feeling of standing after sitting for too long. "Tell me what happened to him on the way," she added, striding towards the portrait hole.
Standing up as well and falling into step beside her, he gave her a smile, not the annoying smirk she usually got, but a smile. "Not my story to tell, Evans, but if you want to see him, let's go. Sirius and Peter are already down there."
~o0o~
The wolf ran through the forest. His pack ran with him, following his lead as led a playful chase after a flock of birds. The rat sat in between the stag's prongs to keep from falling behind.
The four animals came to a stop, pausing in a clearing where Moony could clearly see the moon. His mistress and goddess, the one that gave him the strength to overcome his human half for one night. He drew in a breath and howled at her, conveying how thankful he was for the night's reprieve from his prison.
His pack waited as he did so. None of them were wolf, so they did not need the moon to transform, and he knew from his human half's thoughts that they were human part of the time as well. Their thoughts were less skewed between their animal and human halves, letting their thoughts blend. Moony had seen how much more peace his pack mates had had doing this, and had tried to find peace with his human half by letting part of his mind seep in when he was free. His pack was his human's pack as well and they both found solace in the strange half-humans.
The chase would soon resume. None of his pack could reach their prey as well as he, and the stag and rat, he knew, had no bloodlust, but they ran well and played with him. When he and the dog would play-fight, or they would team up and chase the nimble stag it even almost let him forget that there was no human prey to catch and bite and kill.
The wind shifted, blowing new scents to Moony and his pack. A smell of flowers, of stone, of coming wind and threating rain, but most sharply of all…the scent of prey.
He gave it no second thought. Moony raced to where the prey was, coming to where the trees thinned and the sky was clearer. The prey was standing there, a human with fur the color of blood, except for her bare face, pale and featureless.
His first prey... his human was terrified of this, he could sense it, but his sensations were pushed out in favor of Moony's bare bloodlust and need to hunt. He growled, testing the prey's nerve. It turned to face him, and he could smell its fear, a bitter tang that spread around it like a gas. It moved one of its arms, sinking it into its fur, but withdrew it and stood still.
His first prey would hardly be a challenge, but he'd accept an easy prey for the meat it would provide. He howled, calling for his pack so they'd see his success, leaping at the prey. Landing not far from it, he ran at his full speed towards the cowering prey. One of his pack, the stag, ran squealing beside him, then in front of him. Moony growled and leapt aside, not willing to risk injuring one of his pack to get to the prey. The stag turned to face him, back to the prey, and lowered his prongs in a clear warning not to attack. Moony snarled at the stag to move, trying to maneuver a way past the sharp antlers of his pack mate, but the stag never did understand him and simply pushed him farther from the prey. "Prey! My prey!" he growled at the stag.
The dog caught up to them, bounding beside Moony and barking, using his whiskers and ears to convey a message: "Not prey! Pack!"
Moony turned on his pack mate. He was claiming that prey was pack? Never! "Prey!" he told the dog.
"Pack!" he responded.
Moony conveyed a message to the dog again, this time saying "Pack? How?"
"Prong's mate!" the dog claimed. The stag had a human mate? Was she a half-human like the rest of the pack was? He turned to the pack-not-prey. It had leaned against the stag, his support showing that she may be his mate as a human and stag. However, its fear still stank in the air. Fear was a weakness that a pack cannot have.
Moony cured his lip and let his ears twitch back. "Afraid," he said, tensing his muscles to leap at it.
"Attacked by pack!" Moony froze at the dog's message. If the prey was truly the stag's mate, he had gone against the pack. He had attacked his own pack mate and treated her as prey.
Springing at the pack-not-prey, he jumped around the stag's prongs and pushed her to the ground. The stag screamed in outrage and charged at Moony, making him jump off his mate. He still gazed at the stag's mate, deeming her a proper pack mate and mate of the stag from the stag's protectiveness of her. He would not apologize for attacking her when she was, devoid of all connections, prey, but two of his pack mates were prey as well, so Prong's mate would be prey like him.
Prong's mate stood beside him, stroking him and claiming him in a way no other had ever, Moony knew from his human half, even when he was a human. She was pack. Prong's mate and human-with-blood-fur.
Moving slowly so the stag would know he meant no harm, he drew to Blood-fur's side. She straightened with fierce pride and bravery, daring to stare directly into his eyes. Fear still tinged the air, but Blood-fur's face showed nothing but bravery and defiance. Prongs's mate was truly as strong as they.
He placed his nose into her fur, and sniffed deeply, coming to recognize her scent. Flashes from his human half showed that she had been pack to him for many years, but that she was prey to Moony and her mate made certain she came nowhere near the pack when the moon freed him. A good and brave mate for the stag.
He took in her scent again, and once more so that her scent was forever part of his pack's. He sat, and then howled, warning all other wolf packs to know and recognize Blood-fur as his pack mate and would face his and his pack's wrath should she be harmed.
Moving again to where she stood with her mate, Moony began to open his mouth to nip her when the dog ran behind him and playfully bit at his tail. He spun around, slashing at the insolent pup, but he dashed away into the forest, leaving Moony to chase him.
~o0o~
Typically, after a full moon, Remus would do anything to stay asleep to keep from having to deal with the inevitable pain from cuts, bites, and broken bones. Since the rest of the Marauders had joined him, the injuries had become less frequent and less severe, but he still liked having the excuse to sleep as long as he could. However, on special occasions, like when he had a dream of memories the wolf had clearly made and not him, it proved to have a tendency of waking him up quickly.
His eyes snapped open, and he sat bolt upright, his mouth automatically spilling words that came from half-formed sentences. "There− there was someone− someone− a human− there was someone−"
Sirius stood over him, outline by the sunlight coming in through the window, and grasped the werewolf's shoulders. "Moony!" he said firmly over his mutterings. "Moony, Remus, she's fine, she's perfectly fine, okay? You didn't scratch her, you didn't bite her, didn't leave a mark on her, okay? She's fine."
"I almost- I could've- oh, my gosh, I nearly-" It seemed that his brain was letting go of any other thought, everything focusing on the simple idea of him having nearly fulfilled his worst fear and not leaving much room for other things like breathing properly or reacting to the pain shooting from his right arm.
"You didn't, she fine! She's fine, Remus."
"I could've, I would've…"
"You didn't, alright, she's fine! It's okay, mate, alright? You didn't hurt her." His breathing evened out a bit at Sirius' calming words and he brought his hands up to bury his face in instead, his fear still making him shake uncontrollably.
"Who- who was it?"
Remus heard the door to the hospital wing open as Sirius took his hands off of his shoulders. "Uh…the girl walking in with Prongs right now?"
Remus' head snapped to the doorway of his private room. James was taking off the invisibility cloak as he shut the door, partially blocking the girl's face with his arm, but there was no mistaking her hair. He felt a surge of the wolf's subtle thought process –a gush of primal protectiveness- when he saw Lily. He stared in shock at her as the gravity of what he could have done to her sunk in.
"Lily…" It was barely even a half-gasp, but Lily locked eyes with him immediately. She was scared, he could see it, and it felt as though someone had taken a rusty dagger and ran it through his chest. "I'm sorry, Lily, I'm so sorry, please, I'm sorry-" Her eyes widened as he continued rambling apologies and buried his face in his hands again to avoid looking into them.
He felt Sirius trying to peel his hands away from his face, and pulled away from him, curling into fetal position against his headboard. Someone pushed Sirius' hand away from him and a pair of much smaller, much softer hands started stroking his hair, one of them settling on his wrist.
"It's fine, Remus, it's completely fine, nothing happened," Lily said reassuringly, though all her words did were drive the knife-sharp guilt deeper into Remus' chest. "You didn't hurt me at all, just frightened me a bit, that's all, really, it's fine."
"I nearly killed you…"
"You didn't even scratch me, Remus, it's alright…"
"But you were right there, I could have killed you or turned you into a monster like me-"
Remus was cut off by an outcry of protest from the other Marauders. Peter's squeak of "No you're not!" was lost beneath Sirius' immediate reassurances that if they did actually have monster friends, he would have been sorted into Slytherin, be best friends with Snape, and idolize his cousin Bellatrix. James forced Remus to look into his eyes and said firmly, "Remus John Lupin, you are not a monster, and if I hear that word coming out of your mouth again when talking about anyone who is undeserving of it, I will hex you. Scratch that, all four of us will hex you, and Evans knows some pretty good ones. Understood?"
Remus felt tears welling up in his eyes, but couldn't tell if they were from how his friends automatically refused to let him think of himself as a monster or from the penetrating guilt that he'd let such friends run around with a fully-grown werewolf, Animagi or not. "James…I am a monster. I could kill anyone of you at any time during the full moon."
"That's a contradiction, you know," Sirius said, flashing a weak grin in a transparent attempt to lighten the mood. "You could 'kill anyone of us any time during the full moon?' Full moon's only once a month, mate."
"Sirius…James, Peter, I could kill you during the full moon, whether it's once a month one or every night. I almost killed Lily, oh, Merlin, I would have killed you…"
"You didn't..." Lily said, reaching forward and lightly touching his bandaged arm, which in the thick of his emotions, Remus had failed to notice was splinted tightly. "…really, Remus, it's fine…"
He shook his head, staring remorsefully at his bedcovers. "I'm fine, it's all fine," she tried again, "Ask James, you put your face right up against my stomach, but all I got was a sniffing."
"She's right, Remus, you didn't hurt her," James said quickly.
"You see, it's all fine, Remus. Nothing happened, it's fi-"
"Stop saying it's fine! It's not fine! Even if I didn't, I could've- would have killed you!" Remus yelled, his voice breaking in the middle of it. He brought his knees up to his chest and pressed his eyes against the blankets tangled on them. He felt the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes, and knew he was shaking with the urge to start sobbing, but took several deep breaths and straightened slowly. All four of them –Lily, James, Sirius, and Peter- were staring at him. It was rare that he lost his tightly kept self-control.
"Mate," James spoke first, quietly but steadfastly, "you might have killed her if I hadn't been able to keep you away from her or Padfoot didn't manage to get you to back off. But. You. Didn't. I kept you from getting at her, Sirius got you to back away, Peter got her up to the castle and she is standing right here without a mark on her. Lily, do you have anything on you?"
"No, not a thing. I'm alright."
"There, you see? You didn't her hurt, you didn't hurt anyone." Remus' eyes caught onto a long gash on James' arm.
"You know perfectly well that I did." James looked confused, but Remus sighed and reached forward to brush the damaged appendage. "I did that, James. And I've done worse! How many times have you ended up in the Hospital wing alongside me?"
James waved his hand freely. "It's just a scratch, Remus. Besides, girls like how wicked they look. Here," he turned towards Lily and pushed up his bangs, revealing a scar starting above his left eyebrow that stretched into his hairline, "doesn't that look wicked? It just adds so much more amazingness to my physique, right?"
Lily raised an eye brow. "Ladies just swoon at it…" James not-so-subtly hinted.
"I'm not swooning at your scar, Potter," Lily said flatly.
"Swoon at it. I'm trying to convince my best mate here, help me out?"
"I'm not swooning at your scar. What kind of girl would swoon just because of someone's scar?"
James rolled his exasperatedly, as Remus watched him, his exasperation and guilt making way for bemusement. James turned to Sirius, giving him a look that plainly said 'do it or I'll put an Itching Jinx on you.'
Sirius gave him the same look Lily had been favoring him with and told him, "Mate, I'd do most anything for you, but I'm not going to swoon at a scar I know for a fact you got from running headlong into that bed frame."
James gave him the aforementioned look, this time adding 'and I'll tell all the girls in our year you kissed your house-elf once.'
Sirius sighed. "Oh, Merlin, Prongs." He took a deep breath and adopted a falsetto voice, dramatically throwing his forearm across his forehead. "James, it's so amazing, it makes you look so manly and strong," he simpered, collapsing across Remus' bed and jarring his splinted arm.
"Ow, that hurt, Padfoot," Remus complained, grinning good-naturedly. Sirius grinned back at him and ruffled his hair. The werewolf reached up and did the same to him, and soon they broke out into a hair-ruffling mini-war.
James and Peter smiled too, but Lily looked at Remus' arm was a mixture of concern and pity. "Remus?" she asked quietly. He looked at her, wariness and fear stealing over his face. "Did you break your arm last night?"
He glanced down at his arm. "Yes…it's just something that happens. I bite and claw myself…sometimes I break bones…some nights are better than others…"
"Every full moon?"
He nodded. She gaped at him for a moment, but recovered quickly. "I, uh, I guess you really did run afoul of werewolf then," she said, drawing her hand over her face to mimic where his scars were.
Remus smiled weakly at the old joke. "Kind of obvious, right?"
"Absolutely!" Lily laughed. "It was hard to figure out, but in retrospect, absolutely obvious. I mean, Moony? Really, Remus?"
He winced, but smiled. Gesturing to the other Marauders, he said, "Blame them! I tried for weeks to get them to stop calling me that, but they just wouldn't stop."
"And then there's the fact that you're always gone at least once a month. Either sick, or visiting your mother, or going to your grandmother's funeral for the third time?"
"Third time? We've killed your grandmother three times? That's sloppy." Sirius broke in, looking incredulous.
"Has anyone else noticed?" Remus' heart sped up and he felt the bottom of his stomach drop out.
"Um…Snape. He was the one who let me know…" Lily said cautiously. "He's suspected you being a, you know, a werewolf since second year."
"That git! Absolute slimy, disgusting-" Remus interrupted Sirius' rant.
"Snape found out last year. He went down the tunnel to the Shack."
"Tunnel? Shack?" Lily stared interestedly at him, letting the question hang in the air.
James spoke for him, glancing at Remus for permission. "There's a tunnel down by the Whomping Willow. It leads into the Shrieking Shack."
"That's where I transform. Dumbledore built it before our first year for that reason," Remus took over.
"I've read that it…hurts. Does it?" Lily looked pitying, but he didn't comment on it as she was plainly trying to hide it. She had just found out that he was a werewolf after all.
"Yes." His short answer deterred her somewhat, but she still continued.
"And…why you look ill so often?"
He nodded, wishing she would change the subject. "And skinny."
"That's why you're so thin?"
Her confused tone made him laugh. "Yes. The transformations take a lot energy and leave me less calories and such to burn."
He could see her mind trying to work it out. "Is that why you eat so much chocolate?" She asked slowly.
The Marauders all burst out laughing. "No, it's not because of that," Remus choked out, "My mum always gave me something chocolate after a transformation to comfort me. It makes everything better."
Lily smiled. "I have some in my dormitory. I'll go get you some."
"Oi! Evans!" James yelled as she turned to walk out, looking offended and indignant.
"What, Potter?"
"What do you think we've been doing every full moon? You think you can just waltz in here, seventh year, and take our job? No! Moony" –he turned to Remus- "I will go and get your specialized platter from the kitchens. Excuse me." He brushed past Lily and strutted out of the private room. She looked outraged and stormed out to follow him. They could hear her yelling at him.
Remus chuckled as Sirius and Peter roared with laughter. "Sirius?" he asked, voice shaking slightly. "What did you do to get the wolf to back away?"
Sirius grinned unapologetically. "I told him that Lily was Prongs' mate."
Remus' eyes widened in surprise. "His mate?"
"Yep, and Moony believed it."
Imperio! You will review now! And don't tell the Ministry I'm using an Unforgivable Curse!