Another prompt, only far more half-assed because of the fact it's supposed to be funny rather than dark and angsty. Oh well.

Lighting glanced at the man next to him. He'd known Angel since Cram School which, considering how far they'd come in these past few years, seemed like a really, really long time. And yet, here they were at twenty six, both deemed eligible for the role of Paladin.

Thankfully, it was Arthur that got the job. The thought of playing nice for the Grigori churned Lightning's insides. It wasn't that he didn't agree with them, he just wasn't as eager to please as his friend.

Angel stood well over a head taller, extremely thin and with hair long enough to confuse people. Lightning guessed they were a funny sight whenever they walked together; he himself tended to stand out, courtesy of Angel's influence over him. Right now, in fact, they were headed towards their weekly round-table meeting with the Girgori and the Branch directors.

Seeing as there was nothing really to discuss- unless Arthur got the bright idea to explain why Okumura Rin should be fed to rabbid rabbits, again- Lightning was already getting bored. Hopefully there'd be something worthy of his seemingly short attention span, but he sincerely doubted that.

And he'd been right. Three hours sitting in that damned chair gave him bed sores and a painfully long series of yawns that literally went around the table. And just as he thought he could finally go hide in his room and forget he was a grown man, Angel just had to get himself- and Lightning, as was customary by now- a new job.

Arthur always went on about how they were hardly getting a workout, because they were such powerhouses and what-not, and wiping small fries apparently somehow did the trick.

Oh well. If it was enough to shut Angel up, it was good enough for Lewin.

Hands propped on his hips, Angel studied the place like a mother inspects her daughter-in-law's cleaning abilities.

The valley below them was swarming with teeny, tiny Kappas. Personally, Lightning found them more cute than mostrosities that should be eliminated. But, money is money and a quiet Angel makes Lewin happy. So that was all the motivation he needed to get to work.

Of course, Arthur suddenly decided he had to play hero, and told him to stand back while he took care of the threat. Like Lewin was some sort of damsel in distress. Inwardly, he saw the conversation play out, him playing the role of a helpless princess and Arthur...well, being Arthur.

He was just about to get to the point where the princess rewards her savior- only in his version he'd just throw the tutu off and probably kick Arthur where the sun don't shine for good measure- when he realized the sour fantasy had been going on for a little while longer than anyone would ever care to know. Under normal circumstances, he'd just shrugged it off. It was one man against legions of virtually harmless demons, it was bound to take a while. But this was Arthur Auguste Angel he was talking about, fastest man alive. Which might begin to explain the fact that he's single, despite the knight in shining armor facade.

But anyways. Point was that killing off the Kappas should take less time than drying his own hair. But it didn't. Lewin also noticed that there were no screams of misery or poofs of smoke coming from the little guys. All was quiet.

Scowling, Lewin slid down the hill, ready to chew his friend out if he found him. The Kappas shifted nervously around him as he navigated through them. God, they weren't even that bothered by him!

Eventually, he managed to find Angel by a small lake, deeper into the forest. How he'd managed to miss the thousands upon thousands of Kappas, Lewin would never know. But instead of saying something his awesomeness in everything, Arthur was quiet.

Now, Lewin couldn't really complain about that. But, if Angel had a twin brother with him right now, Lewin wouldn't be surprised if they pulled a twins from the Shining prank. Not that Angel was the kind of man to pull pranks, ever.

Slowly- because his feet were sore from stepping around Kappas for fifteen minutes- Lewin approached Angel, whose back was still turned to him.

"Arthur." No response. "Arthur I swear to God, if you dragged me all the way out here to stare at your reflection like some sort of Narcissus, I'll hurry up the myth and drown you myself!"

That made him turn around. But, as soon as their eyes made contact, something lashed out from the lake and grabbed Angel from behind. As he was pulled into the water, Lewin realized Arthur's eyes were glazed over.

Hypnotism. Of course.

Even a stupid mission like Kappa genocide could go to shit if Angel was remotely close by. Lewin should've known that much by now.

Still, his first instinct was to grab the taller man before whatever was down there got to him. His fist found Arthur's collar, and he held on to ittightly as the water pulled harded.

While Lewin was trying to stop the water from taking them both down, he was screaming Angel's name, more out of concern than the frustration he was previously feeling.

Then, a thought occured to him.

One hand still clutched onto Angel, who was swaying back and forth idly, Lewin reached towards Caliburn. The sword came to life in his hand and declared it's disappointment at how it wasn't Angel gripping onto the hilt for dear life. As if Lewin needed to hear some perverted sword's complaints.

Caliburn was too stubborn to do anythign without a price, and it wasn't particularly interested in Lewin. So, all Lightning could do was use it slash at Angel's long hair. Suddenly all giddy, Caliburn almost jumped out of Lewin's hand in an attempt to attack the water.

There was a blinding light as Caliburn's edge pierced the surface of the water. After it faded out, Lewin figured there was no need to hold onto to either the unconscious man or his obsessed sword. A satisfied smirk spread over his face as the tell-tale sound of a body hitting water rand in his ears. Truly tired, Lewin fell back onto the grass.

That moment of ecstacy though was short lived. The cold water snapped Angel out of whatever trance he was in and it wasn't long before he started yelling about his clothes and hair getting drenched.

Arthur was such a diva.

Once home, finally dried and with the blood of a few thousand Kappas on their hands, Lewin and Angel collapsed into their armchairs, staring idly at the ceiling.

"I cannot believe it." Angel murmured. "I, Arthur Au-"

"I know your name alright."

"I almost got assassinated! By water!" Angel bursted out.

Lewin felt a lazy smile form. "You can't blame it. You are quite annoying."

I dunno. The required two lines could easily belong to Rin and Bon, or Rin and Yukio (or Shima and Bon), but I thought I could be hipster with it and give them to Angel and Lightning. So far they seem to have the whole elderly couple thing down, so might as well go on and ridicule it completely. Bite me.