Alec can now say that he knows what it is like to be completely in lust with someone.
When it had come to his feelings for Jace, it had always been the desire to be close to him, emotionally and sensually.
When it comes to his feelings – dare he say feelings – for Magnus...
His breath escapes him when he walks in the room and he has to focus, hard, not to think about how soft the man's lips would feel on his own, on his neck, gently nipping at the skin.
He often finds his mind wandering to how Magnus' soft hands would feel gripping firmly at Alec's hips, perhaps how his gorgeous eyes would fall closed as a sigh passes his lips.
And sometimes Alec can shake it off, distract himself; there's enough with everything that's going on, but other times he just can't.
Can't shake the thoughts of how Alec's name would fall from the other man's lips in a moan, and the string of incoherent words that would tumble after.
He thinks of how Magnus' smooth skin would feel beneath his own calloused hands, thinks of how it would feel beneath his lips and tongue.
So with difficulty accepting it, his body is shakily bucking up at his own hand, needing the friction badly, his mind supplying him with dozens of delectable images, and his cheeks are red, oh so red.
Soft moans slip past his lips as his hips jerk upwards, beads of sweat trickling down his bare chest, the heat radiating off of him warming his room.
He's not even sure when it started; this. Days ago, perhaps, weeks at a stretch but he knows that he has never felt this before, never this burning desire for someone.
Alec knows that Magnus wants him too, and maybe that makes it a little easier for him as his imagination wanders, his muscles tensing.
And Alec's ashamed, desperately ashamed as he comes apart in the dark dead of night with Magnus' name on his lips as a sigh, a breath, and he slows, and he ceases, his mind almost falling quiet of him. Almost.
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