The whispers on Male Surgical had Patsy rather concerned.
"She shrieked- yes, actually shrieked!"
"Well, Sister Lea absolutely crucified her, of course, asked her how on earth she expected to get anywhere at all in nursing, let alone nursing at The London, if she reacted so idiotically to every part of the human anatomy!"
"Easier for her to say- you know, he pulled the sheet back just as she was bending over him and of course the poor thing didn't know he'd taken off his pajama bottoms…"
"He's done it to all the new ones but everyone else has stood up at least a little better so far"
"She didn't seem disgusted- just…. the silly thing looked hurt, more than anything..."
"You'd think she'd be used to it by now, it's been a week after all…"
"Deels? They said you might be-"
"I'm over here"
"Where?"
"By the towels"
"Well move over, I need more space than you"
"Try not to squash me with your amazon height"
"We can't all be unnaturally small. Goodness, don't wipe your eyes with your sleeve! Whatever would Sister Lea say? Take my handkerchief."
"Thanks. Won't you be missed?"
"Betty is under strict instructions to tell Sister Lea I'm in the sluice"
"And if she checks?"
"Then I popped out for a second because I heard a patient cry out. No getting rid of me that easily I'm afraid, Nurse Busby"
"I've only got fifteen minutes before they expect me again but... I don't think I want to have to go back"
"Then I'll stay with you here until you're ready, that's all"
"Would you?"
"Oh rather! Staying in here with you would be a dream over Sister Lea's shrieking, you're really doing me a favour "
"She is rather shrill at times…"
"NURSE MOUNT! Why is that patient out of BED?! NURSE MOUNT! Where are those towels?! NURSE MOUNT! Are you listening to me?! So please, consider me utterly bound to your side until you force me out into the wards again"
"I just never thought it would be like this"
"Be like what?"
"I knew that it would be hard. And I knew I'd be homesick, and I knew patients can be difficult and I knew they'd be rude, or even violent, some of them. Or ungrateful or insulting. But… it's like here, they're all working against me sometimes. Waiting to see if I'll blush or…. I actually shrieked, Pats. And they all laughed- Nurse Ray and Nurse Pattison too."
"I know. Everyone goes through it, Deels. I did, too, when I first came over from Psychiatrics. They went through it all too, they just won't admit it"
"I can't bear it- it's as if they are all just dying to show up how unsuited to this I am. I don't know how to deal with this- they didn't tell us in training what to do when they're pinching you and pawing you and pulling the sheets off of themselves in front of you to see if you'll blush. It makes me feel dirty sometimes, Pats..….they're all enjoying it."
"I know, sweetheart. It is rather nasty. It doesn't mean you're unsuited to nursing, though, believe me."
"Just to men?"
"Just to the ones that act like that"
"I feel rather unsuited to it all. I don't suppose many nurses hide in linen cupboards when they're meant to be on the ward, do they?"
"Well, we all have to take turns, of course. Right now, we're in here…. in a few hours, it'll be somebody else new because they dropped a bedpan and got scolded. Or because a patient shouted at them. We're all frightfully considerate around here, you know, we take our crisis' in shifts like proper English women."
"I just feel so silly. But the thought of it still makes me… so I can't even say it was a moment of weakness. It's just more...a perpetual state."
"Really, Deels, trust me- everyone reacts the same at first, everyone feels the same. It's just that you're new- goodness, you should have seen me when I first started! It's why they do it, they know it'll get a reaction out of nearly everyone"
"I can't imagine you ever...well, reacting anything like I have, Pats. You're too…. you."
"I flung an armful of clean linen onto a patient when he…. exposed himself while I was on my way to the airing cupboard. Sister walked past as I was unearthing him from underneath, and she wasn't best pleased when I had to explain why the sheets weren't exactly...sanitary any more, shall we say…"
"I should think she wasn't. Although you should have left him buried a bit longer. Teach him a lesson for it"
"Nurse Pattison had to be told how to assist some of the less mobile patients with bedpans when she first began- I'm surprised no one has told you about it yet, she was teased about it for ages, even though it was before I started… and wouldn't you know, they all played up to it like anything to get rise. They always do"
"It's horrible."
"It is. But they're just silly, childish little boys, and that's how you need to think of them. You're the one with the power, not them, and they know, and it drives some of them mad. Some just have a rather misguided sense of humour. If you learn to manage them, and you will, I promise, it tails off pretty soon once they know you won't stand it."
"So you don't think I'm just….unsuited? I was thinking I'd have to leave, Pats, before you came in. I wanted to leave, even. Is that awful?"
"Deels, I'd never judge you, no matter what you decided to do, if it was what you wanted. But it doesn't make you awful- everyone thinks they want to leave sometimes. And I don't think you're unsuited at all. I think it would be an enormous loss to The London, and to nursing, if you went into something else- you've been doing so well up to now, everyone says so. This is just your….your trial"
"You are kind, Pats"
"No, I'm honest. Why else do you think the nurses laughed too, apart from them just being spiteful cats? They were just thrilled to see you finally falter because it makes them look good for once"
"Do you really think so?"
"Yes. Trust me, I've seen it before. So now, the plan of action. Do you really want to leave? Because if you do, I'll miss you like anything but I'd still help you. But only if it's what you really want."
"I- no. No, not really. It's what I've always wanted, and it's still what I want. Just…. without all this…."
"Alright then. So that's agreed- we get to keep you. Now, what you're going to do. Go and wash your face, and then take over from me for the rest of the shift- you've only got another hour to go."
"But won't it be noticed?"
"I'll tell Sister Lea I asked you to take over from changing Mr Parker's dressing because I was having trouble- you have such nimble fingers and she'll believe me because she's been despairing of me and my "unutterable clumsiness" all week. And he's quite the gentleman, I assure you. I'll finish with the boys for tonight."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am. They don't deserve you tonight. Or at all, for that matter. But tonight will have to do."
"You really are a sort of angel, Pats….are you sure you don't mind covering?"
"Not at all. And then once you're finished, wait for me and we'll go back together. We'll go to my room and I'll hunt up the last of the chocolate peppermints, and we'll come up with a fresh plan of action for tomorrow. Now how does that sound?"
"That sounds...perfect, actually."
"That's settled then. A good nights sleep and everything will be better. Now, we should probably go back- if you're ready, that is?"
"I think so. Brave faces on, as you always say"
"Exactly. Brave faces on."
A few days later, the nurses on Male Surgical were scandalised (apart from Patsy, who was terribly, if secretly, proud) to hear sunny little Nurse Busby loudly offer to examine part of a certain patient's anatomy rather more closely for him because "goodness, Mr Jones, you seem absolutely desperate to display yourself at every opportunity- I can only assume you must be suffering from some terrible discomfort! Although-" she paused and looked him right in the eye "- you will have to excuse me while I fetch my glasses. I find such small things terribly tricky to focus on."
And Patsy knew then without a doubt that Delia would be ok.