WARNING: Miscarriage

A pair of teal green eyes fluttered open, allowing its owner to recognize her surroundings, then gather her bearings. A few stray rays of sunshine made their way into the bedroom, having found little cracks that weren't blocked by the soft violet curtains that matched with the sheets in which Minerva McGonagall found herself awakening. She tiredly reached up with one hand, and rubbed her eyes. She felt as if she had only just laid down to effectively sleep. Albus and she had gone to bed earlier than that, though…

She quietly turned her head to look at her spouse, who lay curled up on his side looking peaceful. As usual, Minerva awoke first. She would awake first, and go get ready to begin the day. By the time she then returned into the bedroom, Albus had awoken, too. She never once in their marriage had thought of asking what usually caused him to wake as well, as there were more possible reasons than one after all. She never really thought of asking whether the reason could be not feeling his wife by his side anymore, or the water running in the shower. It didn't really matter. It had become their custom ever since that day two years earlier, when she had so convinced said "I do", if not any sooner.

Albus and she had gotten together near the end of Minerva's four year lasting tutelage in Transfiguration with him after having finished her education in Magic at Hogwarts at the age of eighteen, even though the fact both of them had harbored feelings for the other since way earlier. After years of having tried to deny these feelings, just because of how the reactions of others would be, their love had gotten too powerful to be denied any longer. Minerva had been twenty-two and more beautiful than ever in his eyes. Albus had been sixty-six, and the most meaningful person in her life both in intellectual area for being her mentor and then somewhere along the way personally as well. When her father had died, he had been there for her. When yet another boy appeared to have been toying with her for months just because of her position as a charge of the famous Albus Dumbledore who actually had defeated Grindelwald somewhere in the middle of her tutelage with him – which of course had been interrupted mere times that half year leading up to that duel, he had been the one comforting her. Albus had been quite active in the whole war. He had been the one putting Minerva in hiding. Even then one could have guessed much more would come forth of her after some more tutelage of whom would end up being the best Headmaster Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry would ever see.

After that quite legendary duel between Albus and his once companion Grindelwald, somewhere along the way something in their relationship had changed somehow. No longer was there need to worry about the war or whatever that actually meant for those participating or not. The sun had shone more scintillating than ever after the veil had been lifted which the war had thrown over everything, and everyone, wrapping them in darkness for months, their sights so obscured that no longer anyone could say on which side another was; not even those close to them. Somehow one night his mouth had ended suddenly upon hers, and then all had been lost, even though neither of them would describe it as that. Neither had actually lost anything; only gained: each other.

Today was nothing other than usual. Minerva slowly pushed aside the sheets, and got to her feet, however, momentarily seeing everything double until all came into focus again. Minerva quietly frowned to herself, and reached for her belly as a twinge could be felt across it. She felt rather dizzy all of a sudden. Most likely gotten up too fast. A shower, and a rather good meal could do wonders. She slowly walked over to the bathroom. However, upon arriving there it didn't take her much longer to realize something really was amiss. It wasn't very odd for a woman to be losing a bit of blood every once in a while. Especially not when supposed to get her period. However, when she's supposed not to be getting a period for about nine months…

Minerva shakily exhaled. Could this be because of last night? No, Albus and she hadn't really been particularly rough. Plus there certainly had been somewhat rougher occasions without her finding any discomfort about that later, too. Albus and she never really had liked it too rough in bed. Sometimes she really did wonder what could possibly be exciting about hurting the other, when it could be tender and passionate, too.

Another twinge of rather intense pain across her belly right below her navel urged her to hold onto the counter, and told Minerva enough. She had had this happen once already. It had been one year earlier, a bit over halfway her first trimester. Minerva's other hand reached for her belly, as she slowly sank down to the floor. "Albus!" She cried, and she couldn't say how much time passed until he was by her side, supporting her, but it wasn't long… However, all was too late to save their son at four months along…

"Minerva?" Albus' mellifluous voice questioned. When no reply came, he slowly sat at the edge of the bed. She hadn't really said anything much since the miscarriage earlier that month. About a week or two had passed with her never leaving the bed unless to use the bathroom. Otherwise she just lay there, curled up on one side, thoughtlessly facing the window. She never actually closed her eyes, though. She never cried with Albus there; not since that morning… Albus sincerely doubted she would care to eat or anything if he didn't try offer her a little food a few times a day. Even then, she only allowed about two bites, and then just turned her head away. Albus knew better than to force his wife into eating.

She would get there in the end. She had carried their child in her, and therefore it certainly wasn't so odd if she actually had taken it somewhat harder, like Poppy had guessed. "Darling?" He called, again not getting a response. He sighed, whispering, "I love you," then leaving their bedroom once again. She momentarily waited until a nearly inaudible thud announced the door falling shut after him, then allowed her tears to be shed.

That night when Albus Dumbledore walked into the bedroom again after having finished up with his correspondence until well over midnight, Minerva didn't seem to have moved even an inch. He sighed within himself upon eying Minerva in the very same position as her spouse had left her in earlier that afternoon. He quietly undid his peignoir, and hung it at the peg attached to the wall next to the door. He then made his way over to the bed, and pushed aside the sheets to slide underneath them, and settled himself on his side. "Minerva?" He tried, but as he could have guessed, she didn't say anything. He sighed once again, and lovingly pulled the covers a little higher upon seeing her lightly shiver. He momentarily allowed his hand to linger above her shoulder, battling against his urge to hold her, but if she needed, Minerva would come to him. He hoped.

Silence overtook them both for a while, until quite of a sudden, Minerva's weak voice cut through the air, even though barely audible. "Albus?" She called.

"Yes, darling?"

Upon hearing him use that word, and recognizing the affection audible in his voice, she quietly gathered all of her courage, and slowly turned over to face him. She swallowed, rather nervously, finding herself unable to see his countenance well with only the few moonbeams filtering in through the window as illumination. "H-hold me?" She questioned, as if thoroughly afraid that Albus would deny her.

"Of course," he whispered, fleetingly kissing her hair, and guiding her to lay down on his torso. Nearly at once Minerva began crying with him for the very first time since the miscarriage. Albus carefully tucked an arm across her middle, holding her against him, and letting her know that she certainly wasn't alone in this; alone with her pain. He tenderly raked the fingers of the other hand through her wavy ebony hair. "Shh," he whispered. "I'm here." Albus then shed some of his tears, too. I'm here. He certainly hoped that that would be enough, even though he highly doubted it.

"You're the man of my life, and, and… I have failed on you. I have failed to give you that what I would have liked so badly… t-to give. I'll never be able to forgive myself for that; for having miscarried not just one, but two of your children, leaving me unable to have any more…" Minerva's voice broke.

"Sweetheart, I don't blame you…"

"Oh how can't you?" Minerva miserably whimpered. "I have taken away your chances to be a father. I have taken away our chances to be a family."

"Sweetheart," he repeated, cautiously raking through her hair, "Sweetheart, I'll never blame you for this. I love you. I love you even so much more than possibly anything else on this Earth. I know that your scars are very deep, and many, but we'll get through this together – you, and me. I'll be there for better or for worse."

Minerva weakly nodded in his shoulder upon hearing, and vividly recalling that piece of their wedding vows, holding onto him even that bit harder.

Albus would let her lead the way back from the abyss, and be there by her side all the time. He would make her believe in herself and everything else once again, even if it would be the last he ever did.

"I have had enough of it!" Filch screamed, irately bursting in the Headmaster's quiet office, followed by Mrs. Norris. Albus Dumbledore, having gotten interrupted in the middle of replying his lot of correspondence, quietly turned his gaze upward to look at the red, puffy countenance of his caretaker. "I have had enough of it, I say!" He repeated. Albus nodded, putting aside his quill, and waving one hand across the half finished letter he had actually hoped to get done very soon to make the little pool of ink that had taken up the size of a Galleon by then disappear. Argus Filch had taken him by surprise for sure… He then offered Argus to sit down on one of the chairs across the desk with another wavy gesture of his hand, leaning backward into his chair, and eying him over the rim of those famous half-moon eyeglasses.

"What have you… 'enough of', Argus?" Albus questioned, calmly.

"This!" Argus replied, not even waiting until Albus had finished up talking. He then carelessly threw a pile of what appeared to be numerous magazines across the desk. Albus quietly eyed the cover of the top one, and turned his gaze upward to Argus Filch, the caretaker, once again.

"I fail to see why–" "You have no idea how many a day I have got to gather lying about whole of the building!"

Albus nodded. "What would you like me to do about it, then?" He asked, leaning his elbows atop of the desk, and pulling the tops of his fingers together, carefully eying the caretaker over them.

"Anything! I have had enough of it!"

"Good afternoon, darling," Albus whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed with a tray of food. "You look so much better than yesterday," he added, reaching for her hand, that lay atop of the covers. She was no longer lying on her side, but halfway sitting up. The book on the night table showed evidence of her having been reading. Albus lightly smiled upon seeing it, and squeezed her hand carefully. Minerva, for the very first time since the miscarriage, squeezed back. She miserably failed to smile in return.

"I feel a little better, too," she whispered. He tenderly ran the pad of his thumb across the top of her hand, leaning in a few inches to be able to leave a kiss on the tip of her nose. Minerva weakly smiled at that. "So, what was the yelling about earlier today?" She asked.

"Ah," Albus replied. "Argus. I really should give him a raise."

"Why?" Minerva questioned, quietly watching as her spouse cut a piece of Yorkshire pudding, and lovingly offered it to her. She then allowed her mouth to open, letting him feed the piece to her, while quirking her eyebrow at Albus' unusual lack of response. He usually shared such matters with his wife, and Deputy.

"Oh, only some silly little Muggle magazines lying about the building. Argus is certainly overreacting…"

"What type of Muggle magazines?" She questioned, in between two more bits of the Yorkshire pudding which Albus was busy feeding her.

"The type of Muggle magazines male pupils seem to like," he replied, remaining rather quiet about it.

Minerva nodded, imagining the type of magazines with numerous articles and pictures about things like rocketets or whatever Muggles called them. That was something that half of the male (especially Muggle) pupils had been talking about a few years earlier as well. She vividly recalled the ado about the Spoetnik 2 in 1957, and Laika the dog being the first living creature in an orbit, but unfortunately dying within an hour due to overheating. Sadly enough was she terribly mistaken about the nature of the magazines in question…

Somewhere near the morning, Minerva McGonagall awoke, safely encompassed in the embrace of her spouse while lying half atop him. She quietly raised a bit to look at her spouse, peacefully asleep. She momentarily mused if maybe he would wake up if she left for just a little while to go get some hot cocoa in the kitchens. After all, Albus was a rather light sleeper. The longer she thought about it, the more the idea of hot cocoa appealed to her, though. She would take the risk.

Thus Minerva carefully slid off him, and pushed aside the sheets, shoving herself to the edge of the bed. She let both of her feet touch the parquet, and rose for the first time since the beginning of March. She felt rather unsteady after having been in bed the majority of the time since the miscarriage. She had only left the bedroom a few times a day to use the bathroom – more often in the beginning for the miscarriage hadn't been total, and thus Poppy had given her something to encourage all remaining tissue to be expelled. It had taken about a week until Minerva hadn't bled anymore.

She quietly made her way to the corridor, and turned momentarily to see Albus hadn't woken. She thus continued down to the kitchens. Upon reaching the end of the stone winding staircase, Minerva easily turned into her Animagus appearance, and chose to run the distance remaining until the kitchens. Even though she certainly had had faster days, it did her good.

Upon returning to the Headmaster's personal quarters about half an hour later, her urge for hot cocoa satiated, she felt much better already. Minerva quietly padded through the office in the direction of the bedroom again, when suddenly something quite unordinary lying atop of a pile of correspondence caught her eye. She curiously thought if maybe these could be the magazines in question about which Argus Filch had come to yell that day. What could possibly be that interesting to draw such attention, considering the number of them?

Minerva quietly took the top one of the pile, and read 'Triumph'. On the cover of the magazine was a woman in rather suggestive lingerie. Minerva quietly leafed through the magazine, and occurred basically nothing else but beautiful younger women in diverse types of lingerie, in a lot of colors. She gasped, tears in her eyes as the realization suddenly dawned that she would never be able to wear something like that for her spouse or herself.

Had Albus heard her sobbing? Had he noticed her missing in bed? She couldn't rightly say, but he came just in time, like usual. "What's the matter, darling?" Albus worriedly asked, sinking down on his knees by her, and pulling her against him; rocking her, soothing her. He quietly took the magazine, and carelessly threw it aside. Minerva was of more importance now. "What's amiss?" He asked, tenderly stroking her cheek, worry visible in his ocean blue eyes.

Minerva's voice was muffled into the fabric of his flannel PJs. "I'll never be able to wear anything like that," she cried. "I would if I could look even a little sexy in it, for you… but it would only look silly."

"Minerva," he whispered, "Minerva. You're so beautiful; even more than when I got married to you, I dare say. You don't have to wear anything like that to look unbelievably sexy to me."

"Oh, Albus," she whispered, sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm ugly. I cannot look sexy in anything at all…"

Due to the miscarriage bashful, thirty-three-year-old Minerva's self esteem appeared to have reached below nil in every way, getting her to feel uncertain about everything: her abilities, her appearance… Albus just wished she would see the way he eyed his wife. "I beg to differ, my dear," he replied to that. Wasn't there something that said beauty's in the eye of the beholder? He just wished she could see herself from the eyes of this beholder, and realize how beautiful she truly was…

1 month later

"Albus?" Minerva asked, suspiciously raising one eyebrow upon accepting the bag Albus was offering. She quietly made to open it, when Albus immediately interrupted that motion with his hand. "Albus…?" She repeated.

"I have made a nice hot bath ready for you, my dear," he began, beginning to guide his wife over in the direction of the bathroom. "I would really like you to relax there for a bit while I finish up replying to Hephaira. Maybe that what the bag contains could be suitable for when you're done bathing." At that, Minerva just eyed her spouse with more confusion. "I should be done by the time you're done. Of course take all the time you need, though," he urged, carefully pushing her into the bathroom.

"Albus, what–" By that time Albus had already turned about to leave, though. She could hear the melody of his chuckle. "Albus!" Albus Dumbledore, her dearly beloved spouse, however, couldn't hear her anymore. She sighed, and turned in the direction of the bath, allowing the odor of the lavender scented bath oil to penetrate her nostrils. Setting aside the bag on the white bathroom cabinet, she easily convinced herself to take up Albus' advice. She would enjoy a nice hot bath first, and then worry about whatever the bag contained…

"You can't be serious," Minerva muttered, looking at both pieces of shiny burgundy fabric neatly folded on the bottom of the bag. She was nearly sure that she had seen these earlier in a magazine… worn by a woman more beautiful and much younger than she. She sat down onto the edge of the bath, holding up the bra, and sighing. She so wished she could wear it, but she couldn't, could she? It would only look silly on her…

"Minerva? Are you all right in there, dear?" Albus' voice suddenly sounded onto the other side, rather worried.

"I'm fine," she called, only barely audible for him.

"Are you… certain?" Albus questioned, not really convinced about her reply.

"Of course. I uhm… I'll be there in a few."

Albus' jaw nearly immediately fell upon taking in his wife's appearance, as he intuitively turned his gaze up upon hearing the door. She nervously bit down on her bottom lip, feeling so unbelievably uptight while waiting for Albus' reaction. Albus and she hadn't been with one another in two months; hadn't even seen one another naked in that time. Minerva nearly made to turn, and run into the bathroom once again, when finally Albus rose, and walked over to her. "You're… ravishing tonight," he whispered, and kissed her cheek. "That's even more than usual."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," she whispered, leaning against his shoulder. Albus had allowed her to do everything in her pace since the miscarriage, for which she really was grateful. Some time to regain physically and emotionally surely had been essential for her, but right now she merely wanted to feel close to him again. How should she go about it, though? What should she say to him? She nervously leaned in to kiss him, relief washing over her when Albus cautiously returned it. The need for air eventually forced them both to disconnect.

"Close your eyes for me. Please," Albus whispered, waiting until she obliged, then taking her hand, and leading her further into the bedroom as if sensing what she wanted.

"I love you," Albus whispered, momentarily leaning in to let their hot, and wet mouths touch.

"I love you, too," Minerva replied, reaching up for more. Their fingers easily entwined, resting above Minerva's head, as the battle of tongues mercilessly continued. Minerva eagerly panted into her lover's mouth, and Albus in hers, until his open mouthed kisses trailed further across her jaw line, collar bone, and the valley of her bosom. "Mmm," she moaned, arching up.

"Minerva?" He whispered, earning him a look of Minerva's passion filled green eyes. "Do you have confidence in me?" He asked.

"I do," Minerva replied, eyebrow quirking in confusion.

"Are you all right? Albus questioned. "Isn't it too tight?"

"I'm fine," Minerva whispered. Albus and she had never made love to each other with either one of their vision obstructed, and thus she of course was a little nervous. Their fingers easily entwined once again, and Albus reassuringly squeezed, kissing his way down to her abdomen. The skin underneath his mouth momentarily shivered, and without asking he knew why. He fleetingly raised to let their mouths touch again, and whispered something inaudible yet soothing nevertheless. He cautiously nuzzled his way down once again.

Minerva intuitively parted her thighs, feeling Albus' touch on her hips. He teasingly kissed one of her thighs, until moving on to where he loved to be most. He carefully kissed her mound, running down further in the direction of her opening. He eagerly ran his tongue up through her slit, parting her. He then dipped his tongue into her, receiving a wail of delight. Her essence coated his tongue as he retracted, allowing his tongue to run up again, then covering Minerva's clit wholly with his mouth, and beginning to suck. His finger began teasing at her opening, momentarily continuing to do that. He then allowed it to slide into her rather easily, and marveled in the moan his wife gave upon that. Albus could feel himself harden more, and began pumping into her first slow, then faster, and harder.

"Oh Albus!" she gasped, the evidence of her secret Gaelic ancestry more obvious in her voice, and lilt than ever. "Máis…" More.

Albus cautiously allowed another finger into her opening, continuing to tease her clit. He eagerly ran his lip across the throbbing little area rapidly, then sucked, and felt Minerva's body arch up hard with the power of her orgasm. He retracted, and quietly allowed her some time to regain, waiting until she inhaled, and exhaled somewhat steadier once again. Then something occurred that he never could have guessed. Minerva's body began wracking with sobs.

Albus easily vanished the piece of burgundy fabric that had obstructed her sight, and pulled her into his embrace, asking worriedly, "What's the matter? Did I hurt you?"

Minerva's head shook. "No… Too intense…"

Albus nodded, getting what she meant. It certainly would have been intense to reach an orgasm after not having been with anyone for about two months, and maybe the fact that taking away the ability to use one of your senses, in their personal case Minerva's sight, heightens your use of the others could be another factor leading up to that.

After a while Minerva's sobbing abated as well, and she began trailing the muscles underneath the skin of Albus' bare torso, going lower, and lower. Albus' intakes of air became more labored, and he intuitively gasped feeling her hand upon his erection. She momentarily ran her fingers up then down along his length, then whispered into his ear, "Please, let me…" She momentarily tightened her hold on him, earning her another gasp, "feel you."

Albus easily lifted her atop of him, letting her straddle his middle. "Are you… ready?" He questioned, needing to make sure both for himself, and her.

"I do, but I don't know how to do this…" she admitted.

"I'll guide you," he reassured, leading himself to her opening, and moaning himself as she slowly took him into her heat. "You're so tight," he gasped, when she had wholly taken him in. He then carefully began to push up into her, using his right thumb to get her in sensory overload soon. When her orgasm neared, Minerva intuitively began moving together with him, within Albus' delicious rhythm, wanting to feel more as the feeling of upcoming satisfaction rippled through her…

She intuitively leaned backward, supporting herself with one hand on each side of Albus' knees. She continued riding him hard, feeling the strength with which Albus' thumb moved increase. She could do nothing but give in to that feeling of satisfaction that overcame her, vaguely registering him pushing, and pumping into her when Albus released, too. He thoughtfully raised both of his knees to support her weight, for she no longer had any strength left after another toe curling orgasm.

Minerva quietly watched as the hills of Scotland between which Hogwarts had erupted so many eras earlier began failing to hide the sun's first rays of sunshine for the day. She often liked witnessing that, sitting upon the window pain.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" She asked, sensing him near her.

He nodded, sitting by her side, and pulling her into his lap, holding her tightly against him. He intuitively buried his nose into her silken ebony hair, allowing the odor of her shampoo and conditioner to penetrate his nostrils, and mash up his thoughts. "I agree," he whispered. "Although I must say not quite as damn beautiful as my wife." Both of them smiled. "You can only doubt about my love for you when the sun never rises anymore."

"Flatterer."