I wasn't planning to de-anon this from the kink meme, yet. But since I haven't been able to work on any of my ongoing stories here for a while, I decided to give it a go.

Pairings: UKUS, UK/Others (past/mentioned only).

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, I do this for fun and gain no profits from it.

America enjoyed jokes as much as the next person. But usually he knew what the joke was. He was even proud to admit that he was the mastermind behind many of them. This time it was not so. For once he had no idea what was happening and he didn't like it.

It had all began when he'd been forced to miss one of the UN meetings. All thanks to a small accident which had been caused by a complicated chain of events. It hadn't been anything embarrassing, not at all, nothing that he had to lie about. Well he'd slipped on ice and had twisted his ankle, but that was beside the point and others didn't need to know about it.

When the next meeting came, America was in a good mood. He'd even stopped by McDonalds to get something to eat before arriving to the meeting. That stop had unfortunately taken longer than predicted. That's why by the time America had made it inside the building everyone else was already seated.

The doors flew open as America made his way inside, announcing his heroic arrival, all to the annoyance of Germany. As he made his way to his seat he couldn't help but noticed that some of the nations had begun to giggle. Others turned their heads away, looking unsure and uncomfortable.

America frowned not sure why they were all giggling like that. Once he made it to his chair he sat in between Canada and Monaco. He wanted to ask about everyone's reaction to his entrance. But he wasn't able to speak with his brother since Germany had already started to the meeting and one angry look from the German nation was enough to shut everyone up.

Yet, America wasn't going to give up like that. Instead he began to scribble down on a paper, making it look like he was just taking notes. He handled the small white note to his brother and waited for a reply, still looking up at Germany who was talking about the economy or something like that. He wasn't paying much attention.

After what felt like almost forever Canada finally handled him back the note.

'Bro what did I miss? Y was everyone laughing?

- A

I don't know.

- C'

America turned to look at the Canadian, but Canada was already looking directly at Germany. Putting the note away he tried to focus on the meeting. But something told him that something was wrong.

Each time he turned away to look at the room he found some of the other countries looking at him, sometimes murmuring to their neighbors something and smiling. When they noticed that he was looking at them, they would quickly turn away.

As the meeting continued America grew more irritated by the other nations' secrecy. He was sure that they were making fun of him and he had a right to know.

Halfway through the meeting America started to worry. Could it be that the others knew of his embarrassing slip. If that was the case then America couldn't help but blush. He'd made sure that it wouldn't have gotten out. He had even begged his boss not to say anything.

Todays' meeting only took place in the afternoon instead of the whole day, which meant that if he was fast he would be able to catch Japan before he made it to his room. If the others knew his secret them America was sure he would be able to get Japan to confess to it. Japan would be incapable of keeping it from him, if America used the right moves.

With a plan in mind, the America nation was able to ignore the others for the remaining of the meeting. Once it was over, he was thankful today was not his turn to speak. He picked his things and practically ran out of the room.

Japan was usually one of the first nations out and America had been sitting far away from the smaller nation. Once in the hallway he saw him talking with Turkey and Greece.

America moved to stand beside them, tapping Japan's shoulder. "Sorry, but I need to discuss something very important with you." America tried to give them his most charming smile. Turkey simply shrugged and dragged Greece away.

"Is something wrong Mister America?" Japan turned to look at the other nation. He'd spoken with America the previous evening. If America really did have something important to say, then why didn't he mention anything while they had been talking the previous evening?

"Yes there is. Everyone was looking at me strangely today. They kept giggling and murmuring to themselves. I just wanted to know if maybe someone said something during the last meeting." America's voice kept lowering with each word he said. He didn't know exactly how to say it without revealing the accident.

If that wasn't what was wrong, then America didn't want them finding something else to make fun of. Japan seemed to think things over for a moment, but before he could reply someone else joined them.

England.

America hadn't been paying that much attention to who the nations laughing were. But now that he saw the British nation he couldn't remember England been one of them. Which was strange as England would be the sort that would enjoy finding dirty things on him to laugh about.

Not that America wouldn't do the same, he could still remember where all those diary entries about England's pirate day had been 'accidentally' released. Everyone had laughed about if for months. Such a gentlemen like England having such a perverted and dark past.

Maybe England just didn't know about it?

"Japan, I hope you haven't forgotten about our plans." England acted like America wasn't there. Instead he focused on the Asian nation.

"Yes, of course England. I was just explaining something to America." Japan didn't look like he wanted to be the person standing between the two of them. Which America noted was strange because America hadn't even talked with England for some time.

England shook his head, finally looking at Alfred. "I'm sure that can wait, our reservations unfortunately can't."

Japan turned to look at America, looking very sorry. "I'm sorry America. I will talk to you later." America watched with some irritation the two nations leave.

"America?" America heard a shy voice from behind him.

America turned quickly around, the irritation finally getting to him. "What!" Seen his brother's started expression America quickly felt guilty for reacting like that. "I'm sorry Canada. I'm not in a very good mood. I shouldn't have done that, it isn't your fault."

"Don't worry about it. I just wanted to remind you that tomorrow's meeting starts earlier, since you didn't make it on time today." The Canadian avoided his brother's eyes.

America didn't notice this. His mind was somewhere else and it wasn't unusual for Canada to act that way. "Sure, see you."

America had a lot of thinking and investigating to do. If the others wouldn't tell him, then America would just have to find another way to find out. He'd seen enough movies that he was sure he could get the information.

Canada watched as his brother walked around him. He followed the other nation until he disappeared into the crowd of nations.

He felt a sense of guilt for not saying anything to America. But he also feared that if America knew exactly what was going on, things would turn a lot uglier.

All because that silly meeting that the Canadian wished hadn't happened. But unfortunately, unless something big happened the other nations would not be forgetting anytime soon.

England had made a quick move just then. He was sure than japan had been ready to tell America about it, thankfully he hadn't been able. If they could just keep America from finding out until things calmed down, then maybe his brother wouldn't find out.

First of all, Canada was going to find the Bad Friends Trio and have a long conversation with the. This whole mess was after all their fault.

Canada was used to them doing this sort of crazy things. But this time, they'd gone too far. Knowing them they were probably in a near pub getting drunk. Canada prayed that America would go to his room and not cross paths with them before he did.

Even if he was angry because of what they'd done, he didn't want them getting hurt and America was going to hurt them. If he wasn't too embarrassed by the whole thing, which he probably would be.

As he made it across the room Canada noticed the other nations were still giggling to themselves. Thankfully none of them seemed to notice him. This was not a good time to get confused for his brother, something that had happened during that meeting. Canada could still remember it. He would never forget something like that.

Previous meeting...

Canada was running late for today's meeting. He tried to run down the hallways without knocking anything down, all while also tried to balance all of his things. He'd received a distressed call from his brother that morning informing him that he wouldn't be able to make it to the meeting. Everyone else knew but he still needed Canada to take notes for him and present his 'great ideas'.

Canada had been forced to wait for his brother to fax him everything, pull everything together and make his way to the meeting. He hadn't even been given a chance to eat anything. Leave it to Alfred to wait until the last minute to call him.

As he approached the large room where the meeting took place Canada could already hear the loud voices from inside. Apparently the meeting hadn't started yet from all the noise.

As the meeting started Germany and sometimes even Austria would calm everyone down at least for the first half of it. Things tended to get more out of control after the lunch break.

But as Canada pushed the door open he noticed that things were a bit different today. A group of countries were still standing by the center of the room. Canada frowned stepping closer to try and see what was happening.

France, Spain and Prussia were in the middle of the large circle. Sitting down in one of the tables and happily talking about something or Canada feared someone. Canada quickly noticed that Germany and Italy were missing, which would explain the lack of order. Not even England appeared to be in the room.

"Then right when we were both ready to reach the point of absolute pleasure, he yelled out his name." Canada quickly turned to look at France, who was shaking his head.

"At first I was outraged, how someone could think of anyone else when they were being pleasured by moi the country of le amour. But I just went along with it. He'd lost the boy after all only months before." Canada began to pale. He had a very bad feeling along with an idea about who they were talking about.

"But I went to see Angleterre and once more he called out for L'Amérique. I don't think he even noticed he did it. But then after some talk with others I found out that others that have been bedmates of Angleterre have suffered similar incidents and it is always him."

Some of the countries laughed out loud, while other looked like they didn't want to be there.

"This is like totally funny you guys. I guess France was up to something when he said there was a lot of sexual tension between them." Poland waved his hand around. "Well there is at least from England's side."

"I think they just need a good shag, release all that old sexual tension. Japan and I will be happy to film that." Hungary was already looking up dreamingly. Austria who was standing beside her looked like he wanted to disappear. Canada couldn't see Japan but, knowing him he probably had a similar look to Hungary's.

"Of course I was right, I'm the country of le amour, I know everything about relationships." France said proudly.

One of the nations out front finally took notice of Canada standing there. Seychelles paled and pointed at his direction. "America!"

Every other country in the room also paled. If America had heard them laughing about the nation would probably kill everyone in the room. They knew how scary he could be when truly angry. They had witnessed it before and it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Don't worry guys, that is my petite Canada." France stood from the table and walked towards him. "America doesn't have my silky hair and charming good looks." Canada wanted to protest that America and he looked almost the same. But he decided to keep quiet instead.

The nations now feeling more relaxed that it was Canada in the room and not America, continued to joke around. Canada was feeling uncomfortable, what he'd heard would have alarmed him if he hadn't heard worse things from France.

But he was still uneasy knowing they were talking about his brother and the person he'd called brother. It was worse because they were doing it when the two nations weren't even in the room.

The door opened once more this time to reveal Germany leading Italy into the room. Behind them walked England.

"Bruder, were you guys able to clean off your clothes the sipped tea." Prussia asked innocently from one of the tables. The other nation wasn't usually allowed in their meetings. But with America not coming there was a free chair.

"Unfortunately we weren't, but the meeting needs to keep going anyway, everyone back to your seats." None of the nations moved at first, they all seemed to be looking at England. Canada quickly blushed as he scrambled back to his seat, unable to look at the other nation in the eye.

Germany coughed. Finally bringing everyone out of their trances, the all quickly moved to their seats. Yet their eyes still returned to look at England as the nation made his way to his own chair.

England was no fool and he quickly caught everyone looking at him. If the other nation had looked unhappy before then he was quickly becoming even more annoyed. He continued to take notes, doing his best to ignore the others. But the constant laughter and murmurs were impossible to ignore.

Germany not able to handle it anymore finally called for a break. No one was paying the meeting any attention anyway. He grabbed North Italy and dragged him away with both Romano and Spain hot on their heels.

Canada picked his papers but he stayed on his chair. Part of him feared the worse. England was in a bad mood, even he could see that from far away. If he found out what France had been saying then things were going to explode. He was glad that America hadn't made it to today's meeting.

That probably had been the reason why France had said all of that.

Canada finally approached the other nation, still trying to keep his distance. "England?" The British nation looked at him. For a moment with confusion, everyone knew that America wasn't supposed to be in the meeting. But after a moment he finally seemed to understand.

"Canada, lad what can I do for you?" Even when he tried to act cheerful, Canada could see that England wasn't in a good mood. He'd looked after the other nation before and even when England hadn't noticed him that much he'd learned a lot about him.

"I…well I wanted to tell you about…" If he could calm England down and maybe prepare him for what he'd heard things could go down smoother. But today was not his lucky day.

Prussia had appeared behind England. Alongside him stood Denmark, both were grinning. "So is it true that you call America's name out in moments of passion!"

Those still in the room stopped in their tracks. Taking a good look of England they spilled out quickly. Only a few of them remained. France and Portugal moved to stand beside them. Portugal was standing closer to England, probably there to stop the British nation from killing the others.

"What?" England's face darkened in an instant, in both anger and embarrassment.

"Pardon Angleterre, it just got out." France didn't really look that sorry. Though maybe France was telling the true, it getting out could have been an accident. Even when he made fun of England during his drunken periods, a drunken France wasn't any better. He couldn't keep his mouth shut.

No one moved for a moment. Then England turned around ready to leave, before thinking better off it. With a quick move he had turned around once more and punched the French nation.

There was a sickening crack of something braking, probably France's nose, as the French nation was throng back. For such a small nation, England still held into the strength from his Empire days. No wonder people had feared him.

Before England could attack the French man once more, those still in the room ran to grab and keep him away from the other blonde. Canada was one of them, besides him stood Netherlands and thankfully Sweden. The three of them were able to, barely, hold England back as Portugal and Denmark pulled France away.

The Frenchman's face was bright red and blood was spilling down from his broken nose, even his eyes where unfocused. Canada had never seen England so angry before. Not even when he'd learned of America's rebellion.

"I will kill that bastard." England finally pushed the others away from him as the others left with France. He picked his things and without another glance left the room.

The room felt into an uneasy silence after the two nations had left. Canada thought about following the Englishman, but England hadn't looked like he'd wanted to talk with anyone.

"I told them to keep their mouths shut." Everyone turned to look at Ireland who'd been standing in one of the corners. He knew his brother well enough to know that when he was angry it was best to keep away, especially when that anger was directed at France.

Sweden nodded in agreement. Canada still not understanding couldn't help but ask. "What exactly happened?"

"We had one of our drinking nights and everything was going well. That was until the frog started to reveal in his drunken glory everyone else's private life. Mostly it was stuff we already knew about each other, then he just went into explicit detail about an encounter with my little brother." Ireland shook his head at that, his brother's private life was not something he'd wanted to know about.

"We were pretty drunk that night and I thought we'd forget about. I almost had until this morning Prussia thought it would be hilarious to tell it to everyone else. I thought it was a bad idea, but when they got something in their heads, good luck trying to convince them otherwise." Ireland shook his head and finally pulled away from the wall.

He left to probably find England or to see if France was well.

Canada too finally left to get something to eat, even if he wasn't feeling that hungry anymore. Good thing that he'd left Kumajiro in the hotel room.

When he returned to the meeting neither England nor France were present. Germany was not happy with this. He was less happy when he found out what had happened and that Prussia had been involved.

In the end nothing got done during the meeting. Those who weren't talking about what France had said were discussing what England had done. Not even Germany was able to calm everyone down, in the end he had simply given up on it.

Canada's mind wasn't on the meeting either. He was worried, if England had reacted like that, he didn't even want to imagine America's reaction.

Thankfully, the American had turned his phone off to avoid the other nations calling to find out what had happened to him. Hopefully by the time of the next meeting in a month, everyone would have found something else to make fun off.

This was actually the first and second chapters, I may join some of the chapters as I post them. Also parts will be changed, things will be added. I will try to post a new chapter every week, but it depends on how much free time I have to edit them. As for my other stories here, I'm not abandoning anything. I need this hiatus to finish another of my stories and I need to try and focus on that one alone.