Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Note: A one shot Blaise/Hermione in response to a challenge set over on the O&U cookie jar.
Requirements: 1) Blaise POV, he's much funnier and complex to write, 2)Theodore Nott/Seamus interaction, 3) Some joke about Draco's name, 4) Pink warrior suits, 5) Dungeon, 6) Some random Slytherin/Gryffindor pairings, 7) Chocolate chip cookies.

A SLYTHERIN INTERROGATION
"Tell me and you'll get a cookie."

"Is this some kind of sick, twisted Slytherin torture?" Seamus Finnegan demanded. Crabbe and Goyle had shackled him to the wall on my demand, and Theodore was currently wafting a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies under his nose. He strained against his restraints, the chains rattling.

"No," Theodore told him, "this is just the sick Slytherin torture. It becomes sick and twisted when we bring in the Venus fly trap." The Irish Gryffindor blanched, wondering what exactly we could do to him with that particular plant.

"What do you want to know?" he whimpered as Pansy and Daphne entered the dungeon, both wearing suits of armour that were both pink and sparkly. He trembled even more, possibly worried that they might be a part of the torture.

"Blaise," Pansy asked me, "do you think these outfits are alright for the next Quidditch match?"

"Not really," I replied, wondering if her nail polish fumes had gone to her head. I swung my legs down to the stone floor from where I had been sat on a desk, and strode over to Finnegan. "Enough with the cookies," I told Theodore, and he retracted the plate from under Seamus' nose.

"Lumos," I muttered, lighting my wand. I shone the light in his face and his eyes were instantly screwed shut.

"I'll tell you anything!" he exclaimed. I lowered the light.

"You are friends with one Hermione Jane Granger, are you not?"

"Yes!"

Crabbe, who had been guarding the door with Goyle, poked his head into the dungeon. "Draco's breathing fire," he said. "He wants to know what's going on in here." Daphne burst out into loud, high-pitched giggles at this, earning her a dumb look from Crabbe.

"You said he's breathing fire and his name means 'dragon'," I explained to him. It was times when I pitied him for his lack of intelligence. However, when he still did not understand I just felt annoyed. "Just stop him from coming in here," I snapped, "we haven't finished yet. Tell him to go and snog that Weasley girl or something like he normally does."

"Malfoy's seeing Ginny?" Seamus asked, resulting in me shining the light from my wand in his eyes. "Argh!"

"I wasn't speaking to you." I narrowed my eyes. "Why does Hermione Jane Granger keep following me?"

"I don't know what you mean!" the Gryffindor howled. I gave a sharp nod towards Theodore, and the plate of cookies was once more wafted tantalisingly beneath his nose. Another nod and it was gone.

"Tell me and you'll get a cookie."

"Stop shining the light in my eyes!" I lowered my wand, ready to raise it at any moment.

"Why does she keep following me?" I repeated.

"She fancies you!" he wailed. "Now give me a cookie."

Shell-shocked, I took a step back, giving a brief nod to Theodore, who shoved a cookie unceremoniously into the Gryffindor's mouth.

I certainly had not been expecting that.

THE END

Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed it. If you like Blaise/Hermione, why not head over to the shipping thread on FictionAlley, or the Blaise/Hermione LiveJournal community? Find links to them in my profile.

Love and hugs and coffee,
silverphoenix