A/N: Tonight's episode disappointed me for obvious reasons. I couldn't feel better until I wrote this. I obviously have a lot of thoughts about this episode and I welcome anyone to PM me if you want to discuss anything (or just talk really, lol.)
I am currently in the process of writing chapter two of hold onto me, so I hope this will hold you all until I finish that.
Hope you all enjoy!
A nervous Dani sits on a sidewalk bench outside of the theater for Funny Girl rehearsals, restlessly running a hand through her blue hair. Her knee bounces anxiously as she sighs and checks her watch for the seventeenth time in the last ten minutes. Only a minute had past since the last time she checked. The flickering street lamp on the opposite corner of the block does nothing to calm the girl's flustered state.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon…"
The mixed feelings of guilt, sadness, and being shot down after watching Santana leave the loft earlier in the afternoon had stuck with her for the past few hours, each passing second only adding to Dani's dejected state. Rehearsal with Kurt and Elliot seemed to go on for a lifetime as she was more worried about her girlfriend than she was about the choreography for Hold On.
She knew she should have chased after Santana before the loft door shut, but she also understood that Santana was upset and needed her space. Still, she couldn't help but feel regret towards the fact that she should have done something, anything, to comfort the girl she has grown to care so much about in the past two months.
Suddenly, the door of the theater is opened. Dani snaps her head up immediately.
"Santana!" She gets up and hurriedly rushes to get to the theater entrance, hoping to stop Santana before she's able to get away. She sees a figure walking away from her and runs to catch up.
"Santana, wait!" The figure turns around and Dani finds herself face to face with Rachel, who has an unsurprised expression on her face. "Oh. Rachel. Sorry, I thought you were-"
"Yes, I know," Rachel replies curtly. "She's still gathering her things. I apologize, but I have to go."
"Oh, of course, sorry," Dani responds. Rachel gives her a tight-lipped smile before she starts to turn back around. Dani grabs her arm before she can completely face away from her. "Wait, Rachel...I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about Pamela Lansbury. It wasn't anything personal, a-and we know you're busy and all, and we hope one day you can forgive us."
Rachel looks back at the other girl with a sad smile on her face.
"I know." It's said without bitterness and Dani feels just a tiny bit guiltier. Rachel turns back around and starts walking away. "I'm sorry too."
Dani sighs and leans against the brick wall of the theater, watching Rachel walk away. She didn't want to lose Rachel as a friend either. She looks back down at her watch and runs another hand through her hair. The suspense was killing her. Every time the theater doors opened, someone who wasn't Santana walked out and into the night. Nevertheless, she stands and waits. After what seemed like an eternity, her girlfriend finally steps out of the building and walks in Dani's direction with her head bowed down toward her phone.
Dani lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She takes a deep breath before taking a step in the other girl's direction.
"Babe…"
Santana's head shoots up immediately in surprise, her eyes widened in confusion.
"Dani? What are you doing here?" Dani steps in closer, shortening the distance between them, to take Santana's hands in her own.
"I'm sorry for waiting outside your rehearsal like a stalker, but I had to talk to you," she explains apprehensively, looking deep into Santana's eyes. "This was bothering me all day, I couldn't keep it all in for much longer."
Santana sighs and starts walking, Dani following not too far behind.
"Santana, wait, please! We have to talk about this," Dani begs, causing Santana to stop walking and turn around to face her girlfriend.
"What's there to talk about, Dani? You three made your choice and it's not like I would have stayed anyway, I'm way too busy working here and at the diner. I would have quit sooner or later," she says. There's too much sadness in her face for either of them to believe that.
Dani frowns.
"You and I both know that's not true."
"Maybe, maybe not. Who cares," Santana scoffs, before turning her head away. Dani's face softens as she reaches up to turn Santana's face towards hers. She can see the hurt in Santana's eyes.
"Can we please go somewhere and talk about this?"
Santana says nothing in return, but allows Dani to hail a cab for the two of them to take back to the loft. They sit in silence during the entirety of the ride, but Dani is relieved when Santana allows her to join their hands together once again. However, Santana's determinedness to keep facing forward lowers Dani's morale. She sighs and stares at Santana for the rest of the ride.
Once they're back at the loft, Santana sits on the couch, arms and legs crossed. Disheartening as it was, Dani is as confident as ever, determined to make her girlfriend smile again. She takes a beanbag from the floor and places it directly in front of Santana, grabbing one of Santana's hands as she takes a seat.
"Little darling," she singsongs with a smile. "I feel that ice is slowly melting."
She chuckles in relief as Santana smiles and giggles softly. With more confidence, she leans forward and places a kiss on Santana's knuckles.
"Baby, I am so, so sorry." She looks up and Santana's eyes meet her own. "I never meant to hurt you with this."
Santana stares hard into Dani's eyes, noticing the remorse that is also in Dani's voice.
"But it did hurt."
"And I apologize for that! Please, believe me, that wasn't any of our intentions. We were just trying to do what was best for the band." Santana pouts. Dani thinks it's one of the cutest things she's ever seen.
"Well. So I guess hurting my feelings was less important than the good of the band."
"It's not like that…"
"Come on, Dani. I mean, I can't believe my own girlfriend would agree to kick me out of the band. Did you even stop to think about how I would feel, no, how I do feel about it?"
"Of course I did!" she pleads. "You should know I defended you when Kurt brought it up. But what he was saying made sense and I had to agree."
Santana scoffs.
"Please don't be like that...We all know that your friendship with Rachel is more important than some stupid band. I know that you're hurting, and you know you're using this as an excuse for being upset instead of the fact that you're actually upset about fighting with Rachel. So please try to understand where we were coming from." Dani cups Santana's chin and caresses her cheek. She can't even begin to explain the joy she feels when Santana leans into the touch.
Santana brings a hand over Dani's and sighs.
"...You're right," she finally says. She looks up and pulls Dani up to sit next to her on the couch. When Dani opens her arms, she doesn't hesitate to cuddle into her girlfriend's side. Her eyes close when Dani's chin comes to rest on top of her head.
"Of course I'm right," Dani whispers as she presses a chaste kiss into Santana's hair.
The two sit there for a long while, enjoying each other's embrace. The tension that was there before is long gone and is replaced by a comfortable silence. Santana is sure the both of them would have fallen asleep right then and there if Dani's phone hadn't abruptly gone off.
"Damn it," Dani curses. She adjusts her position to where the both of them are sitting up. "It's getting late, San. I should get going."
Santana pouts once again and it is somehow even cuter to Dani than the first time. She reluctantly sits up straighter and stretches before giving Santana a deep kiss. Her hands cup the nape of Santana's neck and one of Santana's hands snake up to rest on Dani's hip.
When they finally pull away, Santana rests their foreheads together. Her eyes are closed and Dani can see her lips move slightly, but she couldn't catch what was being said. Santana's eyes flutter open as Dani lifts their heads up.
"I said, don't go. Please. Stay," Santana whispers. There's a tenderness in her voice that makes Dani realize that her feelings for this girl are deepening quicker than she had originally thought.
"I'm right here." They never break eye contact.
Hours later, when the lights in the loft are off and the curtains are closed around them, Dani sleeps peacefully with Santana wrapped up in her arms.
"Goodnight, babe," she murmurs before giving Dani a quick peck on the lips. It doesn't take her long to fall asleep in the warmth of her girlfriend's embrace.
Even after she falls asleep, the backlight of her phone continues to shine in the darkness.
Outgoing Message 2:17 AM
To Rachel: We are friends. - xo Santana