Hi everyone!
I know it's been a while since I've uploaded anything but I actually wrote this about two months ago and forgot to upload it!
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little one-shot - it was inspired by the anime episode '413 Days' :)
It was that day of the year again.
Gray tried to focus but he found that he couldn't. Again. He knew that Lyon would look for him today, like always. He knew that he would ignore him, like always.
It was snowing quietly outside his house as he put his clothes on methodically. He only felt a slight chill as he stepped outside in his usual white coat. He made his way through the streets of Magnolia, with no destination in mind. He thought he saw a flash of blue as he rounded the corner but his brain was in too much of a haze to really comprehend it.
Gray.
He whirled around, heart pounding. For a second, he though he heard…her voice. But that couldn't be right. Because she was dead.
His face turned blank again as he continued his walk. But putting one foot in front of the other seemed more difficult today than any other day. He unconsciously turned into a side alley, head bowed.
Gray.
He stopped. Gray looked up and down the dark lane. There was nothing, but he couldn't help himself. "Ur?"
There was no response.
Gray didn't know if that was a good thing or not. If there had been, she might still exist somehow, despite the fact that she'd turned into ice more than a decade ago. Then again, he thought it would be a little creepy. But that didn't matter, because there hadn't been a reply. And now he was left with an empty, hollow feeling inside of him that made his eyes burn.
He waited for a moment, for his eyes to lose their sting and for his throat to work properly again. Then he left the alley, head still bowed. Without meaning to, he bumped into a person. A person clad in blue, with brown boots, blue hair and deep blue eyes.
"Gray-sama! Juvia has been looking everywhere for you! Why aren't you at the guild?"
But Gray only stared at her blankly and moved on.
It wasn't that he disliked Juvia; quite the opposite, in fact. But today, when his thoughts were muddled and his eyes distant, his guild mates seemed the furthest thing from his mind.
He could only hear the crumbling bricks of buildings, desperate screams and a demon's roar.
Juvia stared into the snow as she heard the crunch of Gray's retreating footsteps. But then the snow reminded her of ice, which reminded her of him, so she stopped staring at it.
She knew what today was. She'd just thought that, since they'd been getting closer recently, he might need a friend close by to keep him company. But he never needed friends before, Juvia thought miserably, so why would he need them now?
She continued to walk forwards as the snow fell softly on her hair, making her shiver. A snowflake drifted in front of her face and she stared at it in wonder. How can something be so beautiful yet so cold?
Juvia closed her eyes and marched forwards determinedly, all thoughts of the ice wizard still plaguing her mind but with less intensity. To her surprise, she found herself outside a familiar apartment.
After a second of deliberation, Juvia knocked on the door, which opened to a surprised Lucy Heartfilia.
"Juvia?"
"Lucy. Juvia hopes she is not disturbing you."
"Of course not! Come in!"
Juvia could feel the curiosity coming from Lucy in waves but she simply sat on the couch as Lucy made a pot of tea. The blonde sat in front of her friend, brown eyes filled with worry.
"Juvia? Is everything okay?"
The water mage sipped her tea slowly, avoiding her friend's searching eyes. Now that she'd found the comfort she sought, she didn't seem to know what to do with herself. Finally, she decided on telling Lucy everything that she didn't already know.
By the time the woman had finished talking about every single part of her love troubles, the moon's bright glow shone into the dimly lit living room and Lucy's candle was almost out. However, her friend looked at her with the same intensity and seriousness as she had when Juvia first began.
"Oh, Juvia just doesn't know what to do," Juvia said agonizingly, her arms wrapped around her knees. "Juvia loves Gray-sama but Gray-sama doesn't seem to know and Juvia doesn't know what to do to make him realise her feelings for him!"
Lucy's expression shifted to thoughtfulness but the sudden change did nothing to reassure Juvia. The celestial mage gave a soft sigh.
"Oh, Juvia. I think you should just act like yourself around Gray. Don't change who you are to impress a man. Change because you want to, when you want to. Your life is yours to dictate; no one else has that privilege."
"Privilege…?" Juvia's voice trailed off, the gears turning in her head. She felt like she'd known this all along but it hadn't really clicked until Lucy said it. Juvia gave a small smile. "Thank you, Lucy. You've helped Juvia more than you can imagine."
"That's alright," Lucy replied cheerfully, placing the tea cups into the sink. "Listen, I've always wanted to ask you – why do you talk in third person?"
Juvia blushed. "Juvia thinks…it may be because Juvia does not want to sound too self-centred."
"Do you think we're self-centred when we use first person?" Lucy asked curiously. Juvia's face went beet red.
"No! Juvia…Juvia just thought that applied to herself, when she was younger. She never thought to correct it when she grew up."
"You know what, Juvia, why don't you sleep over? We can talk about how to 'be yourself' and help you be confident enough to tell Gray tomorrow!"
Juvia gave her friend a tired but grateful smile. This was going to be a long night.
The next morning, Gray woke feeling like he'd slept for a very long time. He tried to remember what happened yesterday but could only remember a wandering haze and a flash of blue. Shaking his head, he made his way to the guild, with a normal, cool expression on his face.
When he reached the guild, he expected a lovesick, blue shadow to follow him, as usual. However, no such shadow appeared. Gray had talked to Juvia a lot more over the past few weeks and had discovered that when she wasn't fawning over him, she was quite an interesting person. Before he could dwell on this, the very person he had been thinking about appeared before him with…Lucy?
I didn't realise they were friends, he thought vaguely, making his way towards them. "Yo, Juvia, Lucy."
Lucy gave him a cheerful wave but when he stared at Juvia, a chill went down his spine at the uneasy familiarity of her gaze. Her eyes were like glaciers, and she stared at him like she didn't know him at all, like she was still Juvia of the Deep and they were nothing more than enemies on a battlefield. With nothing more than a nod in his direction, Juvia swept past him, face still emotionless.
"Hi, Gray!" Lucy gave a nervous laugh, glancing at Juvia's retreating back. "Uh, bye!"
Gray stood there, dumbfounded, and only moved when he realised he had been standing in the same spot for two minutes.
Lucy hurried after Juvia, who had hidden herself in the corner of the guild swimming pool. Confusion marred the blonde's features as she gently shook her friend's shoulder.
"Juvia? Hey, what happened back there? I thought we agreed that you would act neutral and a bit toned down, like you are around me!"
"Juvia just freaked out, Lucy! Juvia saw him and she went back to Juvia of the Deep! Juvia never wanted to go back to being Juvia of the Deep!" the water mage wailed, distraught tears trickling their way down her cheeks. Lucy gave her friend a soft smile.
"Hey, relax! Just pretend he's like a normal friend, like me, or Erza or even Natsu if it helps," Lucy said, offering a hand to the blunette. Juvia wiped her cheeks and Lucy thought she saw a spark of that old fiery determination in her eyes as she took her hand.
"Juvia will try her best. Thank you, Lucy!"
Lucy shook her head at the retreating water mage's back. Sometimes, Juvia and Gray were very blind people.
Gray took his mug of beer and settled himself in a quiet corner of the guild, a troubled feeling settling on his shoulders. He always complained about how annoying Juvia's stalker habits were, so why was he so bothered now that she appeared to have moved on? There was a sharp crunch next to him and he turned to see Gajeel sitting at the next table, munching on scrap iron. Has Juvia fallen in love with Gajeel, perhaps? Gray mused, uneasiness filling his entire body at the very thought. And then he mentally scolded himself, because Juvia could like whoever she wanted to like and as her friend, he had to accept it, right?
He just had to accept it.
Lucy sat between the two obliviously love-struck mages and sighed exasperatedly. How did she always get stuck in these situations? She sipped her strawberry milkshake before making her way over to the one mage who could do anything in this situation.
"Mira! Over here!" Lucy shouted, as she competed with the many males vying for her friend's attention. The takeover mage saw the blonde and bounded over excitedly, unaware of the sounds of rejected wailing.
"Lucy! How are you?"
"Good, but I'm not the main issue here," Lucy said quickly, glancing around cautiously. Mira's eyes gleamed as she leaned in conspiringly.
"What's the matter?"
"It's Juvia. And Gray. They're both smitten with one another but Gray doesn't realise it yet and Juvia's trying to be herself and tell him about her feelings and it's all a bit of a mess," Lucy explained rather unhelpfully. Mira stared at the two mages.
"Hm. You deal with Juvia. I've got Gray," Mira said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Feeling nervous, Lucy dragged a protesting Juvia to a quiet table, intent on making the water mage tell her feelings to her crush without any fancy present or drama, while Mira sidled over to Gray.
"Gray, how are you?" Mira asked, ever the innocent angel. Gray glanced up, a look of surprise in his eyes.
"Oh, Mira. Sorry, I didn't see you there. I've been alright, thanks," he responded distantly. Perfect, Mira thought. He'll fall right into my trap.
"So, have you talked to Juvia lately?"
Gray jerked slightly, a panicked expression on his face that vanished an instant later. "No, not really. Why?"
"Oh, no, I just wanted to see if the rumours were true," Mira continued, smiling internally. "About Juvia and her new crush."
The reaction was instant. Gray's face paled slightly, yet Mira noticed no change in expression. "Oh?"
Dang. She was going to have to push harder. "Yes. I haven't found out who it is yet, though. Do you have any clues?"
"Maybe Gajeel," Gray responded coolly. Oh, Gray and Juvia are perfect for each other!
"Hm, maybe. But I hear Juvia's been catching a lot of male attention. She's pretty, isn't she?" Mira probed, absent-mindedly cleaning a glass.
"Uh, sure," Gray said uncomfortably, taking a gulp of his beer. Mira leaned forwards, a careful frown etched onto her face.
"You don't think so?"
"No! I mean, yes. I mean, uh, she's pretty, is what I meant," Gray said, trying to regain his composure. Mira smiled slyly to herself.
"Hm. Well, I think that anyone with an eye on her should get a move on. They're going to have a lot of competition soon!"
"Right. I'm gonna head back, Mira. Thanks for the drink," Gray said hurriedly, nodding at the white-haired mage.
Mira winked. "Anytime!"
Of course, Juvia hadn't gotten an increase in male attention; she'd always been pretty and people noticed it as soon as she stepped into the guild hall as Juvia of Fairy Tail. But Gray didn't need to know that. As Gray left the guild hall, Mira asked Lisanna to cover for her at the bar and made her way to where Lucy and Juvia sat, a grin on her face.
Little babies with blue hair, shooting ice and water everywhere!
"Welcome, Lamia Scale. We look forward to having you here for the week," Master Makarov said, a mug of beer in hand, as always. Jura, Lyon, Chelia, Yuka and Toby bowed while Gray watched his frenemy in disgust. Lucy observed with a laugh as Gray continued to glare at Lyon, who was watching Juvia, who was watching Gray.
"Thank you for having us, Master Makarov," Jura rumbled, his voice reverberating around the guild with a calm reassurance. Makarov grinned.
"Pleasure is all mine! Now, let's treat you to a real Fairy Tail party!"
Lucy sighed.
"Juvia, you ready?" Lucy asked, a slight frown marring her pretty features as she stared at her blue-haired friend. The water mage beamed.
"Juvia is ready-"
"No! Not Juvia, I-"
"I am ready!"
Lucy gave the bluenette a wink. "Go get him."
None of them noticed Lyon listening to their conversation.
Juvia was wearing her trademark blue, blue and blue. But there was a rosy red on her cheeks, perhaps from happy confidence or embarrassment, and it only added to her beauty. Lucy and Mira watched from the bar, their necks craning as inconspicuously as possible as they watched Juvia walk over to Gray.
None of them noticed Lyon racing over to intercept her.
And when Lucy did see Lyon, it was too late, because he'd already caught Juvia by the hand and spun her around.
"Juvia, I'm sorry, but I can't let you go," Lyon breathed quickly, his eyes frantic.
"Lyon-sama? What-"
And then he kissed her and all hell broke loose.
Lucy was pretty sure that that was the first time she'd seen Mira lose control and almost activate her Satan Soul.
But she was certain that that was the first time she'd seen Gray freak out and hurt a friend so quickly, in a completely serious fight that held none of his usual mirth when fighting with Natsu.
On one hand, it completely confirmed Lucy's suspicions of Gray's growing feelings. On the other hand, it seemed almost like Juvia was back to square one, when she'd turned up on Lucy's doorstep on a snowy night, looking lost and miserable, as the water mage was quite inconsolable.
This led to a light-hearted conversation between Makarov and Obabasama, where casual threats were exchanged and the mages of Lamia Scale were told to head back to their own guild, if they valued their safety. Of course, this was encouraged in a very polite and kind fashion.
Lucy pushed a cup of steaming tea in front of Juvia, who stared silently at her hands, a lost look in her eyes. Lucy felt a vague sense of déjà vu as the three girls sat in her apartment.
Sharing a worried glance with Mira, Lucy said gently, "Here, Juvia, drink up."
Juvia did so, but the look remained. Lucy was unsure if her assumption was correct and, if it was, it would cause a negative reaction out of the bluenette but she reasoned that any emotion was better than no emotion.
"Juvia…was that your first kiss?"
And then Juvia looked up and Lucy saw the answer in her eyes as her friend's face crumbled and tears began to leak from her eyes. Lucy and Mira rushed forwards and enveloped their friend in their embrace as she mourned her almost relationship with her long-time crush.
Juvia found that she bore no real resentment towards Lyon.
She wondered briefly if this was normal, but then dismissed the notion of normal because when had she ever been normal anyway?
In all honesty, if she'd seen Gray walking to, say, Lucy, to confess his feelings, she probably would have done the same thing. So she understood Lyon's actions, to some extent.
What's done is done, was the saying. But Juvia felt hollow inside anyway, because Gray had not even looked at her since that day and Juvia felt, surely, that she'd lost any chance with him because even if he did like her, he'd think she and Lyon were dating merely because she had not been angry.
Just cold and quiet.
She felt a little like Juvia of the Deep again, slightly numb and so, so, cold. She had not cried again since that night at Lucy's apartment and when she looked into the mirror, she saw a blank slate.
Part of her wondered why she was so upset over this incident – after all, this moping about was not true Juvia fashion. Juvia of Fairy Tail, anyway. So she wondered vaguely what it all meant, which led her down a little path of guilt that seemed to expand and grow until it towered around her and threatened to engulf her.
Because even though it had been unexpected and was her first ever kiss, she had to admit that it had not been unpleasant. In fact, quite the contrary. Perhaps it was because she had been in so much shock and his lips had been cool and soft and it felt nice to be held by someone as they kissed you. But this in no way meant she that she liked Lyon in a romantic sense yet as he was a handsome male, she figured there had to be some sort of physical attraction.
However, what she felt for Lyon was small and completely platonic and could not even compare to what she felt for Gray and this assured her that she was still head over heels for him, buried deep in an unrequited love – a safe ground. But the guilt at feeling any sort of pleasure from that one kiss made the guilt swallow her all over again.
In the end, it just came down to one thing: Gray did not deserve someone like her.
Indeed, it was a cycle of tumultuous emotion inside Juvia's head and yet, on the outside, her friends only saw a blank page.
Gray was afraid, upset and full of rage.
When Gray felt any of those emotions, his magic lost some of its carefully contained control and blossomed into the air around him, making him seem like a walking, talking blizzard.
Great. Another thing to add to his list of troubles.
He really hadn't meant to punch Lyon. He'd just seen him kiss Juvia and having felt a white hot rage, which was odd as he was an ice mage, punched Lyon to get him away from Juvia.
Maybe he really had meant to punch Lyon.
There was the rumour going around, according to Mira before, about Juvia's new love interest. It may have been Lyon. And her dreams may have all come true with that one kiss when he'd smashed it like glass, like ice.
And he'd seen her horrified face afterward and it had seemed to break his own heart. The heart he had once carefully encased in ice, unbreakable and strong. But then she'd come in, trickling in slowly like water, breaking down the walls from the inside.
Yet he'd ruined his chances with her, he knew. He'd realised too late, and he had to accept that. He'd probably also ruined his tentative relationship with Lyon but that was the least of his worries, really.
He found, to his surprise, a friend in none other than Natsu Dragneel.
Gray had been in his apartment, an icy beverage in his hand, when the fiery mage had burst in, his expression unreadable.
"Gray, get your sorry ass off that couch! We're going to the guild!"
But that's where she'll be, he thought. He felt guilty for feeling hopeful.
Natsu dragged him out of his apartment with little protest. The sun hit his face and he winced as Natsu slowed down. The two friends continued walking until Gray realised Natsu was looking at him.
"What?" he asked, slightly defensively. Natsu looked uncharacteristically serious.
"Why don't you just go to her? She still loves you."
Whatever Gray had been expecting, it had not been that. After all, Natsu and feelings? No. Those two things just did not go together. But here he was, telling Gray what to do. And for no particular reason, he got mad.
"Lucy told me before-"
"Oh, and I'm sure Lucy tells you everything, does she?" Gray snarled spitefully. "Maybe you need to just man up and ask her out instead of giving me stupid love advice!"
Gray marched ahead, fuming, not quite sure where he was going. He didn't see Natsu's surprise or confusion but perhaps, he thought resentfully, he had shouted at Natsu because he could have been right.
If only.
"Mira, this is getting out of hand."
Lucy stared angrily at her two friends, who were on opposite sides of the guild hall and not looking at each other. The awkward atmosphere had started to leak into the guild and the members were fidgeting slightly, unsure and wary. For some reason, Natsu was sitting at the other end of the hall from the bar, where she was, and he looked to be deep in thought. The guild was acting slightly strange and Lucy had had enough. Judging by her face, Mira had had enough too.
"You're right, Lucy. It's time to execute Plan B."
Lucy looked slightly nervous. "I thought that was a joke…or for super emergencies?"
"This is a super emergency!" Mira declared, eyes determined. "We'll need Master's help."
"Master!?" Lucy almost shrieked. "Mira, isn't that going a bit far?"
"Well, do you think Gray would respond to anyone else?"
"Well, yes. Juvia!"
"But we don't know if Gray likes her for sure-"
"Mira, I'd bet my apartment on it!"
"Hmm…"
"Mira. I love my apartment. Do you even understand what I'm saying?"
"Okay, okay! We'll make it so that they lure each other in. Happy?"
Lucy grinned. "Very."
Gray looked curiously at the note that had arrived with his drink and a wink from Mira. Reading it, he felt shock freeze his insides.
Gray-sama,
Please meet me in the storeroom at the back of the guild at midday. I think we need to talk.
Love, Juvia.
For a second, he thought of not going. But then he realised that this was the chance he'd been waiting for, for her to explain and for him to tell her everything. But he felt slightly wary; after such a long silence from her, why now?
He glanced up at the water mage across the hall but her eyes never met his.
Juvia stared in disbelief at the piece of paper Lucy had delivered with an encouraging smile. Her eyes read the words, but her mind refused to comprehend them.
Juvia,
Please meet me in the storeroom at the back of the guild at midday. I think we need to talk.
Gray.
Juvia looked up and met Lucy's eyes. The blonde grinned before moving to the bar. She and Mira had been talking a lot lately…surely they wouldn't…
But what if it is Gray-sama? Juvia's traitorous mind argued. Better go and be upset than miss a chance like this!
Juvia groaned and put her head in her hands, jolting Natsu out of his stupor where he was sitting opposite her.
"Juvia, you alright?"
"Juvia…I have received a note from Gray-sama requesting to meet him but I do not know if I should go!" Juvia said, nervously. If Natsu noticed anything different about her pronouns then he didn't comment on it.
"Just go. What's the harm? You're both miserable, might as well sort this out," Natsu shrugged, looking a little vacant and not at all like his usual self. Juvia squinted at him.
"Are you alright, Natsu-san?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah. Yeah, just something Gray said before," Natsu frowned, staring in the direction of the bar. Juvia nodded slowly.
"Okay…I might, um, go then. It's almost noon."
"Bye, Juvia," Natsu said distractedly. Juvia left the dragon slayer, feeling a little confused at his behaviour. He seemed too preoccupied and he hadn't even enquired about what was so important about noon since she hadn't told him what time she was meeting Gray.
She made her way to the storeroom, looking around the guild to see if Gray had left already. Seeing no sign of the ice mage, the bluenette continued anxiously, smiling briefly as Lucy and Mira sent her a quick thumbs up.
She didn't notice them leave their seats.
Juvia stopped in front of the door and took a deep breath, hand on the handle.
She heard nothing from behind her as Aries wool softened two pairs of footsteps.
Juvia pushed open the door and walked inside, immediately spotting Gray, who was leaning by the window.
By that time, the door had closed with a thud and both mages in the room turned too late as they heard the distinct sound of a key twisting in a lock, and then a loud click.
The two mages could only stare at each other in surprise.
"So you wanted to talk-"
"Did you want to talk about-"
Juvia blushed as they stopped talking, an awkward silence lingering. For a moment, they both simply looked at each other. Finally, Gray spoke.
"So…you wanted to talk to me about something?"
Juvia's eyes widened. "I thought you wanted to talk to me about something?"
"But Mira gave me the note before saying…" Gray frowned, before realisation dawned on his face.
"Lucy…" Juvia whispered, before turning to the door, where two mages were no doubt listening to their conversation.
"Mira, I can't hear!"
"Hush! I can't either!"
A pause.
"Oh."
"Damn. They're smarter than we thought."
Gray sent a dark look at the door before a wave of ice encased the wall. Juvia looked at him in surprise and their eyes met briefly, before the awkward silence settled around them again.
"So…" Juvia shuffled nervously and sat on a wooden box in the corner, trying not to shiver as her body touched the ice. "Gray-sama, did you want to talk to me at all?"
Damn. That hadn't meant to come out so…desperately. She would seem too needy.
Gray's eyes flickered to her and stayed there, sending a blush to rise in her cheeks. Why was he looking at her like that?
Gray took a deep breath. "I did, actually. I wanted to know…if you felt anything for Lyon."
Juvia hadn't been expecting that. What was he suggesting?
"Oh. Um. No, not really. Lyon is a good friend but I could never love him romantically," Juvia said softly, thinking of the white haired ice mage. Gray kept looking at her; she could feel his gaze burning. But she refused to look up because she was afraid that her hopes would be brought up, again.
"Oh. Good."
Juvia finally looked up, heart pounding. "Why 'good'?"
The first thing she noticed was that his cheek were tinted pink, but surely that was nothing like how her cheeks must look by now.
"Well…otherwise he would be, as you so often say, my love rival."
Juvia felt like her cheeks had taken a hit from Natsu's flames.
"They've been in there for half an hour! What could they possibly be talking about?" Lucy asked impatiently, frowning at the closed, icy door of the storeroom and seeming to completely forget their objective.
"Well, they might not be talking, if you know what I mean…" Mira winked at Lucy, who went bright red at the insinuation and began talking about a mission she'd seen on the board the other day when there was a loud whoosh and two figures walked out of the room, hand in hand. Lucy and Mira immediately swivelled.
Juvia's cheeks were a cherry blossom pink and there was a smug fondness on Gray's face that neither of them had ever seen before. If they had been hoping for secrecy, they did not receive it for Mira squealed so loudly that Master came out of his study on the second floor.
The guild crowded around the couple and Natsu whooped loudly when he saw their clasped hands.
"Finally, guys! You were making everyone else miserable with all your moping!" Natsu cheered, seemingly back to his usual self.
"Aye sir!"
"Thanks Mira, Lucy," Gray grinned, wrapping an arm around his new girlfriend. Juvia could only smile faintly at them before he steered her away and out the door, with only a wave goodbye. Mira beamed.
"Oh, I love a good ending! That was such a successful project!' The S-class mage continued to chatter excitedly, oblivious to Lucy's sighs.
"Yo, Luce! Let's go on a mission!" Natsu bounded over and grabbed Lucy off the chair, dragging her towards the door.
"Hey, wait, Natsu! You can't just drag people away from conversations like that!"
"You weren't even talking!"
"That's besides the point! And you haven't told me what the mission is! I need to pack!"
"Pack, shmack; hurry up!"
Mira glanced curiously at the best friends as a blue cat flew after them and the guild doors slammed shut. Her eyes gleamed.
Blonde babies with black eyes and salmon-haired babies with brown eyes!
Thanks for reading :)
P.S. Some news about 'Soul Mate' for anyone following the story - I've finally started writing it as a multi-chapter fic! So sorry for the long wait but I might see if I can write the entire story before I upload it, unless people prefer otherwise. Thanks for all your support everyone!