Okay, for the first time in a long time, I'm attempting a multi-chapter fic.

Basically I've been trying to write a post-finale fic for ages, and it just wasn't happening. I'll leave dealing with the whole Mara business to the writers for now.

Instead, this picks up after 4.11. I may fudge some of the details later on but mostly I'll try to stick to the shows canon up to that point.

For the third time that week, Nathan Wuornos was once again woken up in the middle of the night by the woman sleeping next to him.

The first few nights they'd spent together, Nathan had woken up any time Audrey had rolled into him. The simplest contact startled him awake, but he'd learned to listen to her steady breathing and watch her peaceful face as he fell back asleep. After a while he simply grew used to it, and when she would throw her leg over his or wiggle into his arms as they slept he wouldn't even realize it until they woke the next morning.

However, recently Nathan was not woken by Audrey's accidental touches, but rather by the sudden thrashing of her limbs, most prominently when they collided with his own.

"Hey! Hey, Parker. It's me." Nathan couldn't help but feel a little guilty as he pinned her wrists down to the mattress, but she was going to hurt herself sooner or later. "Hey, wake up."

She relaxed her arms and he released them, hovering over her form. She had stopped moving but her eyes were still closed, and he reached out a careful hand, rubbing her shoulder.

"Audrey?"

"Gimme a minute." Came the whispered reply, and Nathan leaned back, moving over to give her some room.

He took the moment to glance over her, checking for any more mysterious injuries. He still didn't trust how quickly she seemed to have recovered from the gunshot, but her healing was just as questionable as how she received the wound in the first place. Whatever her connection with William was, Nathan knew they had to severe it as quickly as possible, preferably so he could beat the man into oblivion.

He'd let Audrey have the first shot though, he was a gentleman after all.

Slowly she opened her eyes, and he reached out a hand to brush her hair away from her face, fingers resting on her forehead for a moment. She didn't feel hot, which hopefully meant she wasn't coming down with anything.

Unfortunately, it also meant something else was causing the nightmares.

"Hey." She blinked up at him, her face slowly slipping into a smile. "Sorry I woke you."

Nathan shook his head, his hand still stroking her cheek gently. She was always apologizing for things like this, but the truth was he regretted all the nights she'd woken from nightmares without him there. They'd both made terrible, dumb mistakes, and pushed each other away for useless reasons. They missed out on so much of their relationship already, he didn't want her to feel she was bothering him with moments like this.

"It's fine. Are you alright?"

She pushed herself up so she was leaning back against the headboard, hands coming up to rub at her forehead. She certainly didn't look alright, but as always she shrugged the question away.

"It's nothing."

Nathan knew he didn't have much room to talk when it came to being stubborn, but sometimes Audrey's constant habit of brushing everything off with a brave smile drove him crazy.

"It's not nothing." He raised his eyebrows and she sighed audibly, crossing her arms across her chest. "What's bothering you?"

She dropped her gaze, studying the stitched pattern on her old bedspread in a blatant attempt to avoid the question. As she silently picked at the fraying thread, Nathan relented, shaking his head slightly.

"Fine. We don't have to talk about it."

She glanced back up at him with a look that seemed so unsure it was almost frightening. Audrey was never unsure; she had an answer for everything, even if it wasn't the answer he wanted. Especially then.

"I'm sorry." Her voice sounded small all of a sudden, and he felt the urge to pull her close. "I just…can't-"

"What, can't tell me?" Audrey's eyes flashed as he interrupted her, and he immediately regretted it.

"No. Not now." She reached out and laid a hand on his, scooting closer along the headboard until their shoulders bumped.

"I can't help if you don't tell me."

She smiled slowly at his words, her hand squeezing his fingers tight. There seemed to be something more lurking in her expression, something more she was holding back. It hurt to see her pull away from him. He raised his hand and tucked her hair behind her ears, his fingers lingering on her warm skin for a moment. She closed her eyes as she touched her, her head craning towards his.

"Sometimes I dream about losing you."

Her voice was quiet and soft, and for a minute he was taken aback by her admission. She moved minutely closer to him and he wrapped an arm around her waist, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. Nathan himself was no stranger to those dreams; he could count the number of times he'd had nightmares about losing her to any number of supernatural forces. He supposed now he'd have to add phantom bullet to the list.

"And now I-I dream about hurting you, and others, and I….." Audrey's voice broke off. He pulled her closer into him, resting his chin on top of her head for a moment.

"You wouldn't hurt me."

She wrenched away suddenly and the pain was clear on her face, mixed with something else that looked impossibly like guilt. He reached for her but she pulled her hand back, crossing her arms again, eyes downcast.

"What's this about, Parker?"

She scrubbed a hand over her face, fingers working her temples. "Nothing. Forget it." The reply was muffled by her hand, and he sighed, giving in for a final time.

"Okay."

For a long moment she sat with her head in her hands, hair spilling over her shoulders to cover her face. He waited until she raised her head once more, meeting his gaze at last.

"I'm sorry for waking you." She repeated, and he bit back his immediate response, instead settling for a nod.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Nathan wished his own voice didn't sound so ragged and worn out. He sounded desperate for a good nights sleep, but he didn't want her thinking he wouldn't sit here with her, if that's what she wanted.

"No." He opened his mouth to make another offer, but she shook her head. "I'm gonna sit outside for a little bit. Alone. If that's, uh, okay."

He swallowed hard and nodded. Her quick response was disappointing, but he tried to take it in stride. Whatever was going on in her head, she clearly thought she could deal with it all on her own. Audrey's independence was something he loved about her, but he couldn't deny the hurt he felt at her blatant rejection. Seeing her in pain was bad enough, but knowing she didn't want to at least let him in a little made it all the worse.

She threw back the covers and slipped off the bed, grabbing her sweatshirt as she headed for the door. She stepped outside without another word, and Nathan was left alone in the dark room.

—

Audrey felt a terrible guilt as she closed the doors to the wooden patio, the cool night air hitting her skin immediately. She knew that she shouldn't keep things from Nathan anymore; they were in a relationship now, he had a right to know about something of this caliber. And yet she couldn't bring herself to tell him. She was still grappling with the horrible truth William had shared with her, and it was hard enough to deal with on her own. She couldn't even imagine Nathan's reaction to finding out that shewas the reason he was numb, that she'd cursed this whole town, thatshe'd caused every problem they'd ever faced.

As she eased herself into one of the hard wooden chairs, she considered how he'd respond to her newfound information. Nathan had said he didn't care who she was, he still loved her. But how could he stand by that when he realized what she was?

A monster, for sure. A woman who had taken joy in hurting people, who'd ruined so many peoples lives. Someone who had been delusional enough to love William.

Still, that wasn't what truly terrified her. What was really horrifying was the fact that when she thought of this woman, when she imagined being her, she didn't feel detached, like she was reading about it in a book or listening to a story unfold.

Ever since William told her of her origins, that she'd started the troubles, the nightmares had began.

At first they were relatively tame. She'd watched Nathan, Duke, even Jennifer and Dwight die at the hands of the troubled, and she'd known she was responsible. Over and over. It seemed like her brain never had a shortage of horrible ways to kill off the people she cared about.

Unfortunately, the dreams had only gotten worse and worse. Soon enough she turned into the killer; ruthless and uncaring as she watched her friends die. And in those dreams, she felt the woman William thought she was, the same way she'd felt Lucy in her dreams before she went into the barn.

God, learning about Lucy and Sarah and the Colorado Kid seemed like a lifetime ago. In a way, Audrey supposed, it was.

Mentally, she re-added the Colorado Kid (James, her mind reminded her.James Cogan. Your son.) to the list of things she should probably bring up with Nathan. They'd had a brief, awkward discussion about it the first night they'd slept together, fueled primarily by her curiosity about Sarah and Nathan's relationship.

But so much had happened since then, they never seemed to have the time to sit and talk about these things. And yet here she was, pushing him away as he tried to connect with her. Tried to help her.

Audrey shook her head, trying desperately to quiet the ever present voice in her head that reminded her of the next foe to face, the next problem on her list. She leaned her head back in the chair and peered out over the water, watching as the sun just barely crept over the horizon.

It was truly beautiful here, she thought. It was a shame so many awful things had to occur in a place so beautiful.

As the sun rose higher she considered crawling back into bed with Nathan, maybe trying to steal a few more hours of sleep. She knew he'd press her more on the issue tomorrow, but she could at least escape his questions for a little while longer.

Or, so she thought. As she stood up out of the chair, pushing up the sleeves of the sweatshirt she'd borrowed (and never really returned) from him, the door behind her pushed open.

Her hand flew to her waist on instinct, forgetting that she was wearing pajamas, and there was only one person it would be anyway.

Nathan leaned against the door frame, doing up the rest of the buttons on his shirt. He was fully dressed, and her brow furrowed. Was he leaving because of what she'd said? Or rather, what she hadn't said?

"We've got a case." He explained, finished the last button and glancing up at her with a steely look. "A body down at the tennis courts, one in town square, and one down on State Street." He slid his phone back into his pocket, clipping his badge into place.

"William?" She asked, although she already knew the answer. Three bodies, there was no way he wasn't involved.

Nathan nodded, turning around to head back inside. Audrey followed him, trying to ignore the silence hanging in the air between them. She grabbed her buzzing phone off the bedside table, scrolling through the same messages Nathan had received. At least a case would buy her a few more hours of avoiding his concerns.