Carol dropped her gear in the small bedroom at the end of the hall and looked around. The house was small but well laid out and had enough room to give them a modicum of privacy. For that, she was grateful. She loved them and they were her family but she needed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep and some time to herself.
She closeted herself with a pan of water, a couple of ragged wash cloths, and a promise to herself that she wasn't going to quit until she was clean. She laid her cleanest clothes on the edge of the bed before stripping down to her tank top and underwear. She then dunked the rag and ran it along her arms and up the back of her neck, giving a soft sigh of pleasure as sweat slicked skin pebbled at the touch of cool water and soft cotton.
She heard the door click open but made no move to cover herself. It wasn't unusual for Daryl to bunk with her and it wasn't the first time he'd seen her in her skivvies. She glanced his way and then turned back to her bath. As she expected, his pack soon rested beside hers on the floor and his bow laid carefully on top of the pocket dresser so it would be in easy reach should he need it.
"There's a generator in the shed out back," Daryl ventured. "Means there's enough power to have hot water. No need to freeze your ass off. You got the first pass on the tub if you want it."
She laughed softly but continued her methodical washing. "I'm okay. Let the others go on ahead. You can have my turn if you want. I'm gonna finish up here and grab some shut eye. I'm exhausted." She draped the rag on the edge of the bucket and reached for her towel but he beat her to it. Folding it double, he took it upon himself to dry her off, his ears turning pink as he rubbed concentric circles on her skin, the motions causing a new crop of goose flesh.
Carol's eyes slid shut as his hands moved over her. She kept quiet and made no sudden moves that would spook him into stopping. She doubted he even realized how much it meant to have him touch her like this. He shied away from public displays of affection and was hesitant to initiate anything on his own even when they were alone. She learned to not make a big deal out of it when he did, letting him do things in his own way and in his own time. She knew he was watching her like a hawk and fought to keep her body relaxed and her breathing light and steady. But it was hard and grew more difficult the more comfortable he got with touching her.
"Will you do something for me?" His voice was soft and shy and her interest was piqued in spite of herself. "You don't have to but…" The way he trailed off made her even more curious.
"What do you want?" Carol cracked an eye and darted a look at him but he was intent on the slow movements of the towel on her arm and didn't see. "Daryl?" She prompted when he didn't answer.
His face reddened but he edged closer, let his fingers trace a lazy loop from her wrist to elbow. "Only ever fucked before," he confided. "Didn't need to know nothing but where to stick my dick. I wanna do this…want it to be good so…"
"So," Carol repeated, laying her hand atop his to still the restless movements.
"Some of them were talking…Abe and Glenn mostly…about what works best. Dumb fucks have some kinda bet going about which one of them is gonna get laid more by the time we make Washington."
Carol suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at the idea of grown men acting like high school boys. "And you want in on the action?" The lilt in her voice made the statement a question. She bit back a laugh at the scowl he turned on her.
"Hell no," he muttered stiffly. "Just got to thinking about some of the stuff they were saying. I thought maybe….fuck it. I knew it was a bad idea to bring it up."
"What do you want me to do?" She asked once more, angling her head until their gazes caught and held. "You can ask me anything, Daryl, anything at all."
He gnawed on his lower lip as he studied her, eyes narrowed in thought. His chest rose and fell as he blew out a breath. "Show me how to make you feel good."
Carol's mouth fell open as his meaning suddenly became clear. "You want me to…" she gestured feebly. "While you watch. Is that what you're saying?" Her heart skipped a beat when he swallowed noisily and nodded. "Okay." The word slipped out before she could catch it. Her eyes widened almost as much as his but she reined in her sudden urge to bury her face in her hands. "Okay," she repeated in firmer tones.
She couldn't have predicted what happened next, not in her wildest dreams. He took a quick step in her direction, gathered her in and covered her lips with his. Those nervous hands slipped under the hem of her tank and splayed over the soft skin of her back, pressing her closer as he deepened the kiss. She looped her arms around his neck to steady herself, opening her mouth at the kitten soft touch of his tongue begging entrance. They kissed for what seemed like forever before he pulled back, hazy blue eyes wandering over her face.
"I want to see you, see everything," he confided. "But only if you're sure."
She didn't answer. Instead she let the tiniest of smiles cross her face as she threaded her fingers through his and led him over to the bed.
Her heart was pounding like thunder as she turned to face him with the bed at her back. Gone was that inexplicable burst of confidence that led her to agree to his request without stopping to think. In its place was a trembling, quavering nervousness and doubt in her and by extension, them. They'd done everything but say the words and take that final step to make them a couple in fact as well as in meaning. She loved him and she knew how he felt about her. That didn't stop the tiny voice in the back of her mind from whispering that she wouldn't be good enough. She would fail in this like she had so many other things.
"Hey," a finger hooked under her chin and raised her eyes to meet his. Carol wanted to cry at what she saw looking back at her. "You don't have to do anything you don't wanna, okay? It's good. I can wait."
There it was…right there in front of her, staring her full in the face. Love, acceptance, unwavering support…everything she needed. Her hand covered his and a smile bloomed on her face. "I want to. I do. Just give me a minute."
His lips quirked up by way of reply. "We got all day."
She stretched out on the bed and motioned for him to join her. Confusion wreathed his features but he did as she asked without comment. She wrapped herself around him, hiding her face in the crook of his shoulder as she breathed him in. A soft sound of contentment escaped her as one arm wound around her waist while the other hand cupped the back of her head. "Stay close," she mumbled almost too softly to hear. "I want to see you." She waited for him to nod before tugging the tank over her head and dropping it to the floor. She then tugged off her panties and let them drop, leaving her bare before him.
His hands moved to touch her but she shook her head. Daryl dropped them to his sides and rolled so that he was looking down at her but he didn't try to touch her again. Under his watchful gaze, she felt those old fears come drifting back. To head them off, she seized on the only thing she could think of to distract her…the reason they were here to begin with. She closed her eyes and brought her hands up to her face. What did she want to give him? How much of herself could she willingly hand over? The answer was anything. Anything and everything. She trusted him and to do that she had to trust herself. He was her choice. What she wanted. That decision made, all of her doubts were just gone. Erased.
Her hands found her face, lightly tracing the curve of her jaw and the bow of her lip. Her fingers slid over her chin and down….past the delicate arch of her neck, through the vale at the base of her throat. She palmed her breasts and heard his breath catch when she pinched and then rolled her nipples between thumb and finger. The peaks grew taut and tightened into buds. Without thought, she licked her fingertips before finding them again. Her blood popped and fizzed in her veins as he groaned.
Her right hand moved lower…down over her flat belly and beyond. She stroked herself lightly, letting her knees part as she opened herself up fully. She paused then, conflicting urges making her hesitate…get down to it or draw it out to see his reaction. Her body made the decision as her hips bucked, begging for friction, for release. She was already halfway there and she'd barely began. It was him, dammit, him and those little noises that escaped from time to time. Even now, he was panting like he'd run for miles. She slid across the sheet until her shoulder nudged his and then got down to business.
Her fingers made tight circles on her clit, dipping lower to take advantage of how wet this was making her. She alternated the circles with harder strokes, thrusting her fingers inside and then going back to worry her clit. Her breathing came ragged; her heart stutter-stepping in her chest as the first waves caught her up. Her other hand pinched and tugged at her nipple, the tiny spark of pain an unexpected overlay to the pleasure that built in waves….kindling low in her belly and radiating outward.
Without thinking, she reached blindly for his hand and urged him to follow hers. The circles she made were focused now, dedicated, centered. Her hips rocked out a furious rhythm against their joined fingers. His breath was hot and fast in her ear as he plastered himself against her side. "Like that," she gasped breathlessly. "There. Just a little bit harder."
Her release built…waited…flamed higher…filled her up….consumed her. She heard his name echo the rafters and then she forgot her own name as the wave swept her away.
"Fuck me," his hoarse voice brought her back and her eyes flicked open to meet his disbelieving blue staring back at her. "That was…."
"Yeah, it was," she broke in, embarrassment flooding through her as the memories of what she'd just done came crashing back. "I…uh…that was.."
"Everything," Daryl interrupted as he leaned in for a tender kiss that made her want to cry and to wrap herself around him and never let him go.