Do you?
"Hey Allen, -name-'s back!" Lenalee cried excitedly, rushing towards the albino boy. They were in the Black Order Cafeteria. You were a brand new (well, a two month old) exorcist. When you met Allen and Lenalee you all seemed to hit it off pretty quickly. Lavi took some time getting used to, though, because you mistook his 'huggy-ness' and outright proclamations of "STRIKE!" as downright perverted-ness. Though you were seventeen and were almost as powerful as a general (and pretty mature for your age) no one could guess why, in the name of all things good, Komui Lee had decided to pair you with Kanda Yu for your first mission. Allen, being also paired with Kanda for his first time mission, was sympathetic.
"Oh boy. Let's save her a spot at the table." Allen said.
"Yeah!" laughed Lavi. "I'm sure –name-chan will need a shoulder to cry on after being with Yu-chan for two weeks!"
"Oh, come on guys…Kanda's just…" Lenalee trailed off, trying to figure out just exactly what Kanda was.
Suddenly, an eighteen year old Japanese exorcist entered the cafeteria. Alone. Kanda ordered soba, then sat down at his lonely table. No one dared to sit with him.
"Where's….-name-?" Allen asked nervously.
"OH MY GOD KANDA KILLED –name-!" screamed Lavi.
Kanda glared in Lavi's direction, but otherwise did nothing.
"Calm down Lavi," Lenalee said, sweat dropping. "Look, there she is!"
You entered the cafeteria. You looked around. Allen waved to you. You smiled and waved back, but you didn't move towards his table. You scratched you head looking lost. Kanda looked up. Then he got up. And waved at you. Still glaring, Kanda motioned you to his table. Lavi freaked out.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! YU-CHAN INVITED SOMEONE TO SIT WITH HIM! OH MY GOD!"
"Dear god, shut up Lavi," Lenalee hissed. "I'm trying to hear what they're saying."
Lenalee crept closer, trying to listen without drawing attention to herself. She finally got close enough to hear.
"Hey…" you mumbled.
"Hey." Kanda said gruffly.
"Soooo…" you said.
"So?" Kanda asked annoyed.
"Um…hey."
"I think we've established this already." Kanda said. "So you gonna sit down, or just stand there?"
"I'm gonna sit down." You told him.
"Fine."
"Good."
"Good."
"Fine."
"Che."
The two of you ate in silence. Finally, you broke the quiet.
"So, I thought you said you didn't want to talk to me after our mission was over."
"I did." Kanda confirmed.
"So?" you asked.
"So?" Kanda asked.
"Why did you want me to sit with you then?" you hissed. He was getting on your nerves, the way he would never answer anything directly.
"Cuz you don't annoy me." He muttered.
"I don't?"
"Nope. You're a decent exorcist, and you know when to shut up."
You blushed. Did Kanda Yu just complement you? Allen told you he was a real pain in the ass, and he was…at first. But you were able to see that even though he said he didn't really care if you died, he tried really hard to protect you. He wasn't so bad. He was really handsome too. Deep down, you thought, he really is a nice person. Not like you would ever tell him that. Nope, never.
"Soba?"
"I-what?"
Kanda glared at you for what seemed like the millionth time.
"I asked if you wanted soba, baka. Or weren't you listening?"
"Um, no. No thanks, I don't want soba."
From behind a trash can Lenalee gasped. Kanda had offered you soba. His precious soba! What would compel him to do such a thing? Lenalee guessed that you were so friendly, that after spending two weeks alone with you, even Kanda's icy heart melted and let you in!
"What? Why don't you want any? Don't you like it?" Kanda cried.
"Wha- NO! I mean…it's not that I don't like it, but…"
"BUT WHAT? SOBA'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" Kanda pulled out Mugen.
You leaned over and snatched the Mugen clean out of his hands. Lenalee gasped. Did you have a death wish? Surprisingly, Kanda didn't freak out and chop your head off. He stared blankly at his empty hand. Then he sat down and stared at you patiently. Lenalee suppressed a chuckle. By the look on his face, he had went through a similar act before.
"No Yu. It's not that I don't like soba, but I've never even had it."
"Oh." Kanda was calm. "Wait here." Then he ran off.
Lavi and Allen strode over towards you.
"Yo, -name-." Lavi said,
"Glad to have you back!" said Allen happily.
You smiled at them. Kanda stomped back to the table. He set down a plate of soba.
"Eat." He commanded.
"Oh! You didn't have to Yu, I just-"
"NOOOO!" screamed Lavi and Allen in unison, franticly trying to shield you from Kanda. "-name-, oh –name-! Your gonna die!"
"What?" you asked.
"You don't know this, but Kanda gets really pissed when you call him by his first name!" cried Allen.
Kanda took a step forward.
"NO! Yu-chan, please don't kill her, she didn't know!" pleaded Lavi.
You looked puzzled. "What's this about guys? Yu told me I could call him that."
Lavi stopped. "He…did?"
"Yeah. I did. But I didn't say YOU could, retarded rabbit." Kanda hissed taking a menacing step towards him. "Can I have my sword –name-?"
"Yea." You said, tossing Mugen toward him.
" Heh." Kanda chuckled nastily.
Then he ran after the terrified red-haired exorcist.
"Ha~ha!" you laughed, watching them run around the cafeteria. Kanda swung and almost grazed Lavi. "Ah! Yu, no blood please!" you cried after him.
"Mm." Kanda replied. You couldn't tell if that was an 'Ok' or 'No'.
Allen tapped you on the shoulder. You spun around to face him.
"Um, yes?" you asked nervously. Allen looked worried.
"Hey, -name-, uh…I'm not sure how to ask this…um..."
"Yea, Allen?"
"What's the deal between you and BaKanda?" Allen blurted.
"Um…" you blushed. "I…"
"What?" Kanda asked coming from behind you.
"Do you love –name-, BaKanda?" asked Allen, boldly.
"Uh…what?"
Kanda glared at him. "Why ask something so retarded Moyashi?"
"Yeah!" you piped up.
"Because BaKanda's not mean to you." Allen stated simply.
"That doesn't mean anything, retard." Retorted Kanda.
"I'm going to the library." You said interrupting the weird conversation.
The others stared after you. You seemed so unaffected by the conversation. Lenalee thought you would care at least a little bit. You and her were close, so she knew that you probably liked Kanda. She wished that Kanda would make a move on you. Lenalee looked at Kanda and sighed. He had sat back down and was eating his soba. She watched him finish, then he got up and left without saying another word. She missed the small smile on his lips, as he headed in the direction of the library.
End
Attachments
You lay down on your bed in your room. You sighed and closed your eyes. Sometimes…
You stopped mid-thought. You heard your door swing open. You rolled over on your side. It was him. He was the only one who never knocked. But you hadn't forgiven him yet. You put on a cheery face towards him when the two of you were with the other exorcists, but under it all, you were still very much pissed. He walked over. You didn't move.
"Hey." Kanda said. "You still pissed?"
You didn't answer.
"-name-."
Ignore him. Ignoring…IGNORING!
Kanda sat down at the edge of your bed. You wanted to kick him. Hard. Off the bed. It would have been so easy. But then he would know you were awake.
"I know your not sleeping, -name-."
Crap.
"No you don't." you replied. "I'm sleeping. Go away."
"Can't we talk about this?"
"No."
Kanda breathed sharply. Suddenly, he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you up. He looked into your eyes. You turned your face away. He grabbed your head so you had to face him. You closed your eyes.
"LOOK AT ME." Kanda commanded.
"Get out."
"What will it take to stop this?"
You wrenched yourself from his grasp.
"H-hey! Come on –name-! Can't you at least tell me what's wrong?" Kanda asked annoyed. "What did I do?"
"Nothing." You hissed. "You do NOTHING!"
"…huh?"
"You do nothing; tell me nothing, I know NOTHING!"
"I don't…" Kanda looked worried. "What are you talking about?"
You glared daggers at him.
"THE FLOWERS. YOUR TATTOO."
Kanda jumped. Oh. Shit.
"You know." He whispered.
"Damn straight I know. And do you know how I found out? Lenalee. LENALEE KNOWS!" you paused for a breath. "But you didn't tell ME! You're going to die soon, and you never said a DAMN THING!"
"Because I didn't want you to stress out!" he cried.
"Yeah right. Since when do you care?"
"I've always cared! Always!" Kanda yelled. "I didn't want to hurt you!"
"BULLSHIT!" You screamed.
"Okay! Fine! I was wrong…not to tell you! I…I'm so….sorry, okay?"
"How long?" you asked.
"What?"
"HOW LONG DO YOU HAVE?" you yelled, on the verge of tears.
"I…I don't know. It depends…on how much of my healing abilities and life source I use in battle." Kanda explained. "So…now what?"
"I don't know Kanda. I…" you were still angry. "I…I guess I don't want…"
"Spit it out."
"I don't want to have attachments to someone who is probably going to die within the next year." You said. Your voice sounded stronger than you felt.
Kanda's expression was awful. He looked crushed. It wasn't like him.
"You're…hold up. Are we breaking up?" his voice shook.
"I can't see how I can be with you, now." You whispered. You were desperately trying not to cry.
"So…we're over?" he whispered.
"Was there ever even a 'We'?" you retorted.
He got up. Then Kanda left. You collapsed into the tears you had been holding back.
Kanda POV (O.o….srry, he's pretty OOC in this…) (Oh, when he says she, or her, it means you.)
He made it to his room and slammed the door. He sat on his bed. It was over. She no longer wanted anything to do with him. She hated him. He felt tears…for the first time since he was nine. He lay face down on his bed. She was everything. When Kanda met her, he was automatically drawn to her. Then on a mission he discovered he could stand her. Finally, on a particularly dangerous mission, Kanda had saved her. He realized he would do anything: Die, bleed, kill, for her. And all she had to do was will it. He realized he was in love. From that moment on, he became her silent protector. On New Years, Lenalee had convinced him to kiss –name-. And he had. He kissed her desperately, praying she would kiss back. She did. He told her he loved her, more scared than he had ever been in his entire life. She said it back to him. Lenalee was the only one who knew Kanda and –name- were dating. –name- thought the higher-ups would be pissed. Kanda knew she was right. After the war, because –name- had such high Innocence, they would probably try to get her to marry someone who was either a higher-up, or related to one, so they could still keep her. He HAD planned on telling her about the curse. But…he was afraid. He was scared she wouldn't want to be with him anymore.
"And I was right…" sobbed Kanda.
Ordinarily, Kanda would have blamed his problems on someone else by now. Like Lenalee, who told –name- about his curse. But he didn't want to yell, or blame, or even glare at anyone. He wanted to lie on his bed until he died.
"She was everything!"
Back to you-(things will get better, I swear!)
You dried your eyes. You had cried yourself dry. You lay on your back, on your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling fan. You got up to change into more comfy cloths. While changing your shirt, you saw the bracelet on your wrist. It was made of purple and black beads. Kanda gave you that. Your fingers touched it lovingly. You stopped. What had you done? You broke up with Kanda because you didn't want to become attached. You didn't want to be crushed when he was gone. But it was too late. The truth was, you already were attached. You loved him. You were never going to stop. Why else would you be so sad? Suddenly, it didn't matter to you if he was going to die tomorrow! You wanted to be with him, no matter how much time he had left. You rushed out of your room. You had to tell him. You hoped he would take you back.
You got to Kanda's room. You paused and pressed your ear against the door. You hear crying. Oh god, you made HIM cry! You couldn't stand it anymore. You knocked. No answer. You tried the doorknob and found it unlocked.
"I'm coming in." you yelled through the door.
You walked into his room. Kanda was sprawled out on his bed, shoulders shaking with sobs. He looked horrible. You approached him.
"Yuu?" you said.
At the sound of your voice he jerked his head up. His eyes were brimmed red from the tears. You felt a twinge of guilt.
"How long have you been crying like this?" you whispered gently.
He didn't answer you. You sat on his bed next to him.
"Yuu…" you began. You brushed some hair from his face and he jumped.
"A-are you really h-here?" he asked. His voice shook with every word.
"Yes. I'm here. I realized something. I figured out that, well, I don't care if you're cursed, or that you might die. I'm already attached to you. I want to be with you."
"Really?" he whispered in a small voice.
"Really. Yuu, I love you." You told him, giving him a small kiss.
Kanda looked unsure. Then slowly he said, "I…love you too."
"I'm glad." You smiled.
"I do! I love you so much! I want-" he trailed off.
"What? What do you want?" you asked.
He looked at you.
"You really love me?" he asked.
"Yes."
"You better." He replied.
Then he changed his position, grabbing your wrists and dragging you underneath him. He kissed you.
"Ngh! Hey! Yuu, what are you doing?" you cried.
Kanda grinned.
"Please don't tell me no." he whispered.
You hesitated. "Okay, I won't." you said finally.
End.