Prologue
"I don't want to be here" I begged as I sat on the steps waiting for the funeral to end. I had on a beautiful black dress, my arms embellished with a light dusty rose gold lace. My mom had been outside my door the whole past week trying to explain to me that the funeral was something I needed to go to. That I needed to grieve for my father. He had never been my father. When I was thirteen years old my 'father and mother' had adopted me. They had never been kind. I had been ignored by my 'parents' and my supposed sister Amelia who was two years older than me. She had always explained to me that I was unacceptable to be seen around at school. The thing that was even worse was when I had realized that the only reason I was adopted, was for Mrs. and Mr. Murphy to have more votes politically. They had been trying to become the next presidential family for some time now. That was when I had realized, that I had never belonged to the Murphy family.
Now I was at the funeral of someone I didn't much care for. I have only been in this family for two years. I am now fifteen. I don't know how to tell Mrs. Murphy who has been crying for some time now that the reason I locked myself away was not that I was 'grieving'. I had locked myself away because I wasn't sad. When everyone around you is sad and constantly crying for someone, in all honesty, you don't care about, I had a difficult time trying to relate. I have been told by many people I am awful by not caring, but I might have lived with him, but I never truly known him. Amelia had known her father before he got into politics. She knew who he was. The truth that none of them wanted to say though was that that was not who he was anymore, he was a different person who was no longer sweet or kind or even caring towards his family. He wanted to be stronger politically, so he became stronger at the price of his morality.
I might not have cared for the man, but I respected him. He had chosen what he thought would benefit his family in the long run.
I had been alone. Never in groups at school, never talking to people, and most of all never accepted by people. I, on the other hand, had accepted the fact that people did not accept me, it had helped me study them. People had always bored me until I had met Ryan. He always was curious about the reactions of people. He had constantly annoyed, teased, and bugged people to understand what in a way made them 'tick'. He had once tried to test me in a way, but I had figured out what he was doing and I had decided not to play his game. He then became confused by the fact that his constant advances had no effect on me.
We had soon become friends. The people outside the groups. The ones that didn't care for others. Some were amused by us, others were almost scared of what they thought we were capable of. I had finally found someone who could keep up with me in a conversation and not bore me. I wanted to have a true friend and I had found one.
This was all after I had met the Murphys. Before then I had been with multiple families, all of which had either died or brought me back to the foster facilities. I had constantly been looked upon with looks of sadness, regret, remorse, and most of all pity. One of the things I could never understand was the pity, it didn't make any sense to me, they wanted to feel bad about something they had never been thought and could not relate. Why would they want to relate? If they see how much pain the person is in why would they want to see what happens in there mind? That was the question I had been trying to solve since I could process thought function. Why? Why do basic life functions if you will die in the end? Why try to help someone you never have met and never want to meet again? I have come to a part of the conclusion, I believe. It is all a plot to make ourselves feel better. All something to give purpose to our lives. Me, I never invested in such things. Which lead me to be the outsider I am. Why? A simple question with so many answers. Why? The question that by the end of my life will be answered by any circumstance necessary.
Authors Note
Hi there. I am completely new. As you can all tell I am a writer. I have always been scared of showing my writing to the world. I have been reading others fanfiction for years now. From Wattpad to these places have always been a safe space for me after a long day of school or a really tough week and I finally decided to give back. :)
P.S. If you like it don't hesitate to leave a comment or criticises in any way. I want to improve
Have a great day! :)