The Way I Loved You

Summary: Serenity is dating Tristan, who is the perfect gentleman to her. But somehow, she can't get rid of the thought of her ex-boyfriend; a certain infuriating, yet incredibly appealing CEO. Silentshipping.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Author's note: Ah, another story had emerged from the phenomenon that is my brain. It is a concept I've had up in my grey cells for quite some time, and now, thanks to the Christmas break, I've finally been able to finish the first chapter. (And yes, it was loosely based on a Taylor Swift song, hence the title). There are, however, a few things you should know about this one. For one, it is completely experimental, which is why it will only exist of three chapters total. I've tried a slightly different writing style, and put the story in the first-person p.o.v. Also, the story is written in the present time. However, there will be a lot of flashbacks, which, naturally, will have to be written in the past time. So there are two times, and two types of grammar (I probably screwed the grammar up once or twice, if you notice this, please let me know). The beginning and the ending of the flashbacks will be pointed out by a ~o~. Every flashback will be written in italics. And that will be all, for now. Enjoy reading!

Chapter 1: Looking Back

My boyfriend is wonderful. Polite, gentle, sweet and caring, he is the perfect man. The man I will probably spend the rest of my life with. The man I should want to spend the rest of my life with.

And yet I don't.

It's pathetic, really. Tristan loves me, he cares about me, and he would hand me the world on a silver platter if I asked him for it. My friends are his friends, my parents adore him, he has a well-paid job as a real estate agent and a spacious apartment that is big enough for the both of us. He is tall and well-build, with the most adorable brown eyes and a smile that could make any girl melt into a puddle of sugar. Perfect, huh? Yes, picture perfect, if you don't count the fact that I don't feel anything for him beyond mere friendship.

Yes, I know what you're about to ask. If I don't love him, then why am I in a relationship with him? I suppose the answer is quite simple. I thought I loved him, but I now know I mistook friendship and gratitude for that.

You see, about two years ago, I broke up with my previous boyfriend. He was my first true love, and I was beyond devastated when he decided to just break it off. Tristan, being the amazing man that he is, offered me a place to stay when I moved out of my ex's estate. I suppose things happened from there. I really thought I had gotten over my ex, and that I was in love with Tristan. Well, my eyes were opened the day I ran into him again.

~o~

It was a beautiful summer day. Tristan and I had gone out to get our groceries for the week, and maybe buy some ice cream from the Italian on the corner.

The Domino Park was on our route to the supermarket. I love that park. It brings back so many memories, most of them from the small part of my childhood that I got to spent with my older brother, Joey, others from the time I had found my solitude there.

The park was crowded that day. I wasn't surprised; after all, it was a gorgeous day, and the Domino Park was the perfect place for a picnic or a stroll. Still, even with all those people there, I felt the peace flow over me the second I stepped through the gates. The place always seems to take my stress away. Maybe it is the sentimental value it possesses, or maybe a good fairy had cast a spell on it. I don't know, and as long as it doesn't change, I won't ask.

So, that was me back then. A happy-go-lucky young woman, with a wonderful boyfriend and a head that wouldn't leave the clouds. Yes, I had lost my first love, and yes, I had known pain, but I had always overcome the setbacks in my life, and at that moment I was sure I had everything back on track. After all, I was in love, my grades were amazing, my family had been reunited and my future had been carefully planned and would surely be just as wonderful as that moment was. How could I know my prefect illusion would be shattered only seconds later?

The first thing I noticed was the whispers. Had the park been so loud, filled with chatter and laughter barely a second ago, it had now reduced to soft whispers. Occasionally an unknowing child would speak, or cry, only to be scowled at by an adult. People stared at something I couldn't see properly; I wasn't tall, and there were quite a few people in between me and the object of attention.

I heard a set of footsteps. Loud, but delicate, they were clearly heard over the whispers. The people in front of me slowly parted, nervously making way for whoever was coming their way.

The large, bald man who had been blocking my sight stepped aside. I curiously looked at the path ahead that had now become visible to me. What I saw shocked me, amazed me, and erased everything I once thought was real.

It was him. The tall figure, the chestnut brown hair, the fierce blue eyes. The white, sleeveless trenchcoat, the expensive shoes, the ever-present silver briefcase. He was magnificent.

I'm not sure what happened next. All I know was that he fixated those incredibly blue orbs on me… And I was lost. All I could do was stare, stupidly, as the man I had loved for so long, the man I hadn't seen in nearly a year and a half, the man I thought I didn't care about anymore, walked towards me.

I don't know how stupid I must've looked. I was glued to my spot, staring at this phenomenon that is my ex-boyfriend. I could feel Tristan lightly pulling my arm, trying to get me to get out of my ex's way, but I seemed to have been frozen in time. I only stared, as the memories of our time as a couple flooded my mind and clouded my vision.

He continued to walk towards me, his posture tall and his step steady. His gaze was resting on me, and me alone, though I now know that was probably just because I was the only one still in his way. At that moment, though, I was completely lost in those seemingly never-ending pools of blue.

It wasn't until he was standing right in front of me when I came back to earth. The clock had started ticking again, and I was suddenly very aware of my surroundings. The people around me whispered, their voices a little louder this time. They were probably wondering what the hell that little girl was thinking, standing openly in the way of the most powerful man in all of Japan, if not the world.

"Would you mind?"

Those were the first words he had spoken to me in a year and half. 'Would you mind?' To be honest, I indeed did mind. A small part of me wanted to step aside, to let him pass and leave me with my deranged thoughts, but the largest part of me wanted to throw myself into his arms, cry, tell him how much I had missed him, how much I still loved him, how much I wanted to be with him.

It's rather ironic, though, that my body somehow refused to comply to either of my wishes. I just remained on my spot for what seemed to last for ages, though in reality I was sure it were only seconds.

Eventually, I managed to tear my eyes away from him. Casting my look downwards, I stepped aside. He continued his way, not even bothering to look back at me, his ex-girlfriend. I had to fight to keep my tears inside.

I could feel how Tristan's arm wrapped itself around my waist. "Are you okay?"

I struggled to fake a smile. "Yes, I'm fine. It just took me all of my willpower to refrain myself from telling him where to stick it."

~o~

That was six months ago. It was six months ago when I realized I was still in love with that despicable man.

Like I said, it's pathetic. The small encounter we had that day was enough to turn my entire world upside down. Those few seconds of eye contact made me realize that my heart still rests within the depths of his soul.

Damn him.

I don't even know why we ever broke up. He never explained it to me. One day he simply came up to me and told me he thought our relationship wasn't working out.

~o~

It was freezing cold outside. Winter was at its peak, and my sister-in-law, Mai, had convinced me to go shopping with her. The New Year had just started, and she claimed she had to get everyone Happy-New-Year gifts. I had gone with her, not really having anything better to do that day anyway.

I rather regretted going out later on. The Domino Mall isn't covered, and the two of us nearly froze in our attempt to find suitable gifts for our circle of friends. You can image that, when my sister-in-law finally had all the presents she needed, I was eager to go home and have a large cup of hot chocolate.

Dying to get out of the stinging wind, I hurried into the gigantic mansion that was my home back then. Quickly disposing myself of my jacket, gloves, scarf, earmuffs and boots, I slipped my ice cold feet into my comfy slippers and pulled an extra thick, woolen sweater over my head.

Since it was New Year's Day, most of the servants had gotten the day off. The only ones who were still there were a few stray security guards, my ex's personal assistant and the ever-present butler, Fong.

The old butler was in the living room, dusting one of the expensive paintings my ex's little brother had chosen to make the room seem a little homier. When I entered, shivering and rubbing my cold hands together, Fong didn't even have to look at me twice to know exactly what I needed.

Five minutes later, I was curled up on the couch, a fleece blanket over my legs and a steaming mug in my hands.

The hot coco was utterly delicious, as it always was. The beverage in combination with the blanket was slowly warming my frozen body back up, and I soon found myself relaxing my tired muscles. Ah, the wonders of chocolate.

It wasn't until quite some time later, long after I had finished my hot chocolate, when the butler entered the room again. I was half-asleep on the couch, which was probably why I never heard him come in.

"Miss?," he asked, hesitantly.

Reluctantly, I sat up. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to disturb you, miss, but the mister has requested your presence in his office."

I nodded, and the butler left, taking my empty mug with him. After I had stretched and removed the sleep from my eyes, I stood to go see my then-still-boyfriend.

As I climbed up the marble stairs, I curiously wondered what he would want. He had called me up to his office before, too busy with work to come down to me, but that was only when he had something urgent to tell or ask me. This was bound to be important.

Still, I wasn't worried when I was skipping down the maze-like hallways I had come to know so well over the past few years. He probably just wanted to tell me our plans to go out to dinner that night to celebrate New Year's Day would have to be postponed for an hour or two because he was too busy.

When I opened the door to his office, he was on the phone. Motioning me to come in, he curtly cut off the conversation. Putting the wireless telephone back into its holder, he turned towards me. I hadn't bothered to sit down, seeing as I thought I'd be back in the hallway in only a matter of seconds. I couldn't possibly have known how wrong I was.

He walked around his desk, until he was standing right in front of me. He was wearing his mind-blowing white tuxedo, with a baby blue shirt underneath. The two undone upper buttons allowed me to see some of the flawless skin of his chest. I smiled up at him, hoping for a kiss. His eyes, though, were dark. Dark, and dead serious.

My smile slowly faded. "What is wrong?"

He didn't answer at first. All he did was stare down at me, with blue eyes that had darkened so much they seemed almost pitch black. I gulped. Something wasn't right at all.

I was about to ask the question again when he finally spoke. "It's over."

I, being the innocent, naïve girl I was, didn't understand. "What is?" I suddenly remembered something work-related he had told me a few days before. "Did the corporation lose the contract?"

He sighed in exasperation. I gasped. "It did? But I thought the corporation was in the lead… what happe-"

"We got the contract," he interrupted me.

"You did? That's great," I exclaimed happily. "But… then exactly what is… over?"

The tension in the atmosphere thickened. I, though oblivious, knew something serious was about to occur.

"This relationship. Us. It is over."

It took a few seconds for his words to sink in. When they did, my heart sunk with them.

"W-what?," I managed to stutter.

"We're over." He repeated the words so calmly, as if he didn't even care that he was breaking off a relationship that had lasted for nearly four years.

Tears started to form in my eyes. I felt so numb I didn't even attempt to hold them in. They flowed freely over my cheeks, staining the woolen sweater I was wearing. I wanted to ask him why, why he would throw our relationship away that easily, but the words got stuck on their way out. All I could do was cry.

He turned away from me, and walked towards the large window that reached from the floor to the ceiling. Staring outside, at the falling snow, he spoke again. "Fong is packing your things as we speak. He will give you enough money to stay at a decent hotel for at least a month. I want you out within the hour."

I was shocked. I was sad. I was furious. Not only was he breaking up with me, but he was also throwing me out? I couldn't believe it. This was not the man I had fallen in love with. The man I loved had his temper, yes, but he was never unreasonable. But now, as I observed the back he had turned towards me, I knew I could never reason with this man.

"Alright then. I'll be out of your hair as soon as possible." I was surprised at the calmness of my own voice. It wasn't shaking at all, and its tone was dull, as if I myself didn't care either.

He didn't even turn to wish me goodbye, and so I was the one who turned, away from him, towards the door. Without another word, I left.

~o~

I'm not sure how I ever managed to remain so calm. Maybe I was in shock. Once it really washed over me, I was absolutely heartbroken. I clearly remember spending days on end crying, just crying, almost hysterically. My friends tried to comfort me the best they could, but I was simply inconsolable.

Tristan was the one who really helped me to regain my common sense again. He took me into his home after my months worth of money had expired, he took care of me like a mother would do for a child with a scraped knee and he gave me the love I had lost and needed so desperately much.

It was in that time I fell in love with him, or at least thought I had. We shared our first kiss in front of the fireplace, right after I had sincerely thanked him for everything had done, about half a year after my break-up.

He's quite the kisser, too. Tristan, I mean. He can somehow manage to put all his heart into one single kiss. Tenderness, gentleness, love, care. He would be able to kiss a girl senseless. And yet, I don't want his kiss. I don't want tenderness. I want passion, I want fire, I want desire. I want everything I am no longer able to experience.

My ex kissed like that. Passionate, that is. When he kissed me… I felt alive. There no way to really describe the rush it gave me. All I know is that I sold my soul to the devil that day we first kissed.

~o~

I smiled as I sniffed the newly grown daffodils that were slowly starting to pop up all over town. Spring was well on its way, and the large outer gardens of my ex's mansion were the one of the first places to grow fresh plants and flowers. Naturally, a typical nature lover like myself was bound to be found there.

We were just friends back then. I had met him before, but neither of us had bothered to pay much attention to the other that time. When I bumped into him again, a few years later, the two of us generally warmed up to each other. How I ever got him to talk to me in the first place is still a mystery to me. After all, he hates my brother, and therefore should have hated me as well. When I had asked him, he had shrugged. 'Genes don't always work the way they're supposed to,' he had told me.

I suppose he is right about that. He has a sibling himself: a little brother. The two of them are nothing alike, neither by appearance nor behavior. I assume Joey and I are the same way.

So, we were friends. Most of the effort to keep our friendship alive came from my part. I was the one who visited him, at home or at work, I was the one to take initiative when it came to going out and having fun. Of course, he had, and still has, a company to run, which was why I didn't mind taking initiative at all.

I had come to visit him that faithful day. We had played a few games of darts, checkers and chess, all of which I gracefully lost. Just as we were about to start a game of pool, which was more my territory, he had gotten a very important call. Hurrying off, he had left me alone to roam through the hallways of the then still unfamiliar mansion.

It didn't take long for me to decide to go outside. I had been in the gardens before, but I had never seen them in their full glory, seeing as I had only been there in either fall or winter.

That day, however, I was in luck. It was spring, and the flowers were blooming at their peaks.

I spent quite some time out there, strolling around, sniffing flowers and admiring the wonderful sight. I clearly remember I was fawning over a particularly beautiful tree filled with lilacs when my peace was disturbed.

"I thought I'd find you here."

I turned to see him standing there, in the same white tuxedo he wore when he broke up with me. It was the very first time I ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon him in that particular attire, and, seeing as it made him look absolutely extraordinary, I couldn't help but blush.

Alright, so I was already crushing on him far before we got together. How could I not? He was everything a woman would possibly want, and more. Sure, he could be a total jerk at times, but I knew he had a good heart. I'm sure he still does.

I smiled. "I can't help it," I said, waving towards our surroundings. "It's beautiful out here."

"Hmm." He barely stretched his vocal cords. I wasn't that surprised; he's never been one to enjoy the beauty of nature. The only reason he even had flowers in his garden is because his little brother is as big a nature freak as I am. I wonder if they're still there, now that both I and his brother have moved out of the mansion.

We were quiet for a little while, until I decided the silence needed to be broken. "Do you have a meeting soon?"

He looked at me. "Yes. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just the suit," I said, casting a glance at that wonderful, body-hugging outfit of his. "You weren't wearing it before, so I figured you must have something important coming up."

A small smirk appeared on his face. "Observant, as always." It wasn't a compliment.

I gave him a slight smile. "Guess I should be going then, if you'll be leaving soon."

He nodded. I sighed. He noticed. "You don't want to go home?"

"Not really, no," I admitted, casting my look downwards. I was living alone back then, and I hated it. I had moved out of my mother's house when she had gotten herself a boyfriend, not able to take the fact that she really was moving on from my father. But, living alone wasn't great for me either. I get lonely far too easily.

When I looked up again, I met a sight that made my breath quiver. He had taken a step towards me, and was now standing in front of me, so close that our bodies were nearly touching. His chest was at my eyelevel, and I could clearly see every tiny wrinkle in the smooth material of his blue shirt, as well as the outline of the masculine torso that was hidden behind it. Just that mere sight made me shiver.

My common sense was screaming at me to take a step back, but the voice of reason in the back of my head was silenced by the sound of my own racing heartbeat. In the midst of the heat, I did the one thing that made matters worse; I looked up.

The moment my eyes met his, I signed my name at the bottom of my contract with the devil.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next. He said something, I know he did, and I know I nodded, probably even smiled… but the event that occurred after that made me forget what his words had been.

I don't know if it was me, him, or the both of us, but somehow, the small gap that remained between our bodies closed. My arms were around his neck, my fingers entangled in his silky hair, pulling him down; his hands had settled themselves on my waist and my neck. My lips were on his. His tongue was in my mouth.

It was everything a kiss could ever be. Passion, fire and desire, with just enough tenderness to keep it from getting too spicy. He tasted of coffee and toast, a classic combination that somehow had an even better flavor when tasted in another's mouth. It truly was the perfect moment.

Eventually, we released each other. My eyes, which had fluttered closed during our kiss, opened, and met a pair of azure pools. He was leaning forward a bit, because it would have been impossible for me to reach his lips with mine when he stood tall.

I was utterly dazed. His eyes had always been mesmerizing, but at that moment, I felt like drowning in them. They were so… light, so free. A complete contrast to the dark color they usually had. They seemed to dance in the sunlight, the ocean blue reflecting my image in them, as if…

And that was when he rose to his full length, abruptly cutting off my daydream. He took a step backwards, then glanced at his watch.

"Damn," he hissed, a little out of breath. "I'm late."

With that, he turned, and strode back to the mansion.

~o~

I waited for him that day. I stayed there, first in the garden, then in the mansion, until he came back from work. It was then we shared our second kiss.

A few months later, I moved in with him. It really was like a fairytale, him being my knight in shining armor, saving his princess from the tower, or in my case, the crappy little apartment.

I really was happy back then. The only thing that I really felt uncomfortable with was the press and paparazzi that constantly followed us around. It was understandable, seeing as he was a famous businessman and all, but I wasn't fond of it. The gossip in the magazines about him having an affair with his secretary made me feel incredibly insecure, and the trash they talked about me myself wasn't that pleasant either.

I was able to put up with it, though. He was more than worth it.

We were together for nearly four years. Four wonderful, happy years. Four months before our fourth anniversary, on New Year's Day, was when he broke up with me. I still don't know what went wrong.

Anyway, I really should stop thinking about my ex. Tristan and I will be heading for my brother's place soon, to celebrate the holidays. After all, it is Christmas Eve. I should be getting ready.

Oh, but you first want to know who is telling you all this? Fair enough, I guess you deserve to know after hearing me ramble on and on about my life.

My name is Serenity Wheeler, and I am in love with Seto Kaiba.

And that concludes the first chapter. The other two should be up soon; I hoping to get this done before the new year starts. After that, it's back to working on 'Random Stranger'. For now, I am rather satisfied with this. I had planned on putting in a lot more flashbacks at first (like when Serenity moved into the Kaiba mansion, the first time she read one of those gossip articles, their first real date e.a.) but that would result in either a chapter so long I wouldn't be able to finish it before 2012, or me having to shorten every flashback. Both of those methodes completely destroyed the effect of this, so I decided to pick out the three most important flashbacks and leave it with that. Personally, I'm quite fond of it. Anyway, I hope you liked my little experiment, and if you have the time, please leave a review so I can improve my writing skills. Untill next time!