Rick feels numb.
Disillusioned.
He can't think anymore because he knows this is all his fault. They didn't have to fight or actively seek out conflict they had no business in, but they needed the resources Hilltop had to offer and it seemed like the only viable option at the time. It's the only thing he knew how to do anymore. And now here they all are, kneeling in the dirt in the middle of the night as they wait to see what lucky soul is getting hitched with Lucille.
And it's all Rick's fault.
Negan's lips are moving but Rick can't distinguish what's happening as the imposing nightmare of a man is circling around the eleven of them and gesturing with Lucille. Rick is sweaty, tired, and cold and all he wants to do is breakdown in a sobbing fit. He doesn't know how much longer he can keep up this charade of being their fearless leader. It's only when Negan pivots toward Carl and acknowledges the boy that Rick seems to snap back to the situation at hand.
"This is your kid, right?" Negan smiles, pointing at Carl with Lucille as he walks over towards the boy, chuckling. "This is definitely your kid."
"Stop this!" Rick yells out without a second thought, uncaring of the consequences even after Negan let Glenn's outburst slide with a stern warning.
"Hey!" Negan barks, making everyone jump from the booming command. "Do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don't make it easy on me. I gotta pick somebody."
Rick is panting with how jagged and shallow his breaths are coming out and he's shaking with the knowledge that one of them is going to die soon. Hell… maybe even more than one of them will die tonight at the mercy of Lucille. But Negan comes back to stand right in front of Rick, planting his booted feet right into the man's field of vision as Rick stares resolutely at the ground.
"But first... " Negan announces slowly, gaze darting around at the other ten. His face pulls into a big grin once again, eyes shining with malicious intent as he addresses the leader of Alexandria. "I do believe I need to set an example for your boy, as well as the rest of your people, before the fun really starts."
Negan points the barb-wired end of Lucille at Rick and nudges it just under the man's chin to force his gaze up. The barb wire digs into Rick's skin a little, not enough to puncture but enough to make Rick wince, and it makes Negan chuckle deeply in his throat. Clearly pleased with himself.
"On your feet Papa Bear," Negan orders. He turns to Carl, nodding over at the one-eyed boy to grab his attention. "You too Baby Bear. Up and at 'em!"
The man turns his back at the kneeling captives and walks in the center of the stage he perfectly crafted for this moment. Carl stands up almost immediately, much to his chagrin, but Rick has some difficulty as he struggles to get his feet under him. Sasha whispers Rick's name imploringly, and even goes to try and help him stand, but he refuses instead, staggering to his sore feet. Negan spins around to see father and son obeying his command as the others all around them look on with dread and tears in their eyes.
Fucking beautiful, Negan muses to himself.
"Front and center," Negan says, pointing down at the ground in front of him with Lucille.
They both tentatively walk up to Negan. Rick is exhausted and broken down and Carl is trying his best to remain strong and indifferent, but there's no telling how long his resolve can last when Negan's long shadow casts over them. He leans in towards Rick, gauging the man's disillusioned thousand yard stare, sparing a glance at the boy in the process.
"You've got a choice to make and it concerns both of you," Negan explains, looking between father and son.
"What choice is that?" Rick asks, voice cracking as he tries to keep his composure.
"It's simple, Rick," Negan clarifies. "One of you needs to be punished after that little outburst of yours. I obviously gave you too much leash, so now you gotta pay for it. So who's it gonna be? The Papa Bear?" He nudges Rick in the chest with Lucille then turns to Carl to do the same. "Or the Baby Bear?"
Rick doesn't say anything for a long stretch of time, clearly out of it. Negan huffs out a sigh, getting impatient.
"How about I help you out?" Negan suggests.
He grabs Carl by the hair, knocking his hat off in the process and yanks him down to his knees in front of him. Carl cries out, grappling with Negan's strong grip in his hair, trying to fight back futilely. It's no use. Negan is bigger and stronger and the will to fight back is slowly draining out of Carl.
"Stop! Me! Take me! Whatever it is you're gonna do, you punish me!" Rick pleads, eyes wild and breathing heavy as he looks down at his son.
"Dad, no…" Carl sobs out, but his father ignores him.
"Don't hurt him," Rick begs. "He's just a boy."
"See?" Negan grins, letting go of Carl's hair. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"
He lets Carl get back on his feet and bends down to snatch the sheriff hat out of the dirt. He dusts off the rim of it and sets in atop Carl's head who gives him a death stare. Negan would feel more threatened if the boy didn't look so adorable. He barks out a laugh and brings his attention back to Rick.
"Now, here's what's gonna happen, Papa Bear. You and I are gonna have a little chat in the RV and we're gonna have a good ol' time. Just the two of us," Negan explains, dropping his voice so that its just a sultry murmur that can only be heard between them. "And, if you fucking try anything or disobey a direct order, well…"
He grips the bat tighter in his hand, sighing as he straightens up.
"Lucille here will be the least of your fucking problems," Negan concludes. He steps aside and gestures towards the RV. "After you, Papa Bear. If you know what's good for your boy…"
Rick staggers to the door of the RV almost hypnotically, letting his feet carry him to his destination on instinct. Negan walks behind Carl and pulls him back to fall in line with the others as a guard comes up to force Carl back into a kneeling position. Negan nudges Rick in the back with his bat to usher him inside the RV. Rick climbs in, looking at Carl over his shoulder one last time as he climbs in. Negan perches himself on the step as he turns to address everyone present.
"Nothing happens until I return," Negan warns one final time before he closes and locks the door to the RV.
Inside, Negan sets Lucille down on the table and goes to unzip his leather jacket, making himself comfortable as it were, as Rick stands there like a shell of a person. Negan tosses his jacket onto the table and comes to stand right in front of Rick, looming over the broken man.
"Why don't you take your coat off?" Negan says, but it's not a suggestion. It's an order and Rick complies to it. Negan claps the man on the shoulder. "That's the spirit. Relax. You can breath. You can blink. You can even cry if you want to. It's just us in here now, Rick."
Negan's grip shifts on Rick's shoulder and he tenderly squeezes the weary muscles in a touch that is far too intimate, too familiar, for Rick's comfort. Negan steps closer him so that they're only inches from each other, invading Rick's personal bubble as he subtly pushes the man's limits. Negan brings his other hand up to cup Rick under the chin, raising his head up to establish eye contact.
"I'm a reasonable man, Rick. If I really wanted to, I would've pulled a train on that boy of yours. I'm sure there's a few of my men that'd enjoy that sorta thing," Negan laughs, grinning way too wide as if he isn't talking about molesting a boy. "But I didn't. I could kill you now, but I won't."
"So, what is this about?" Rick questions, holding Negan's gaze.
"This about making an example. About establishing dominance. There ain't no room for two alpha males here," Negan tells him honestly, slightly pushing Rick towards the back of the RV. "Now take your clothes off."
Rick searches Negan unwavering stare for any hint of a bluff and finds none. This is a direct order and if Rick doesn't comply, it'll be Carl instead or, god forbid, one of the others. Rick doesn't wait long enough to test Negan's patience and simply obeys the man without protest. He's learned real fast not to push Negan or take his mercy for granted, and it's almost as if Negan is aware of this fact. He clearly looks as though he's getting enjoyment out of it.
He awkwardly shrugs out of his clothes, first taking his shirt off before he kicks off his boots and pants, leaving his nothing but his underwear to cover his modesty. Negan smirks at the hesitation in Rick's movements at this point, relishing in the conflict between wanting to protect his son, but also not wanting to suffer the consequences himself. But he will obey. Eye for an eye. Tooth for a tooth.
"Underwear too, Papa Bear," Negan reminds when Rick stops undressing after his pants.
He looks as if he's on the verge of tears, but Rick complies as the stubborn will to fight evaporates from his weary being. He's fully exposed to Negan now, all scars and every other imperfections are bared to his eyes. Not one freckle is left unnoticed by the dominating presence that is Negan.
"Atta boy. You're already learning," Negan praises, raking his eyes all over Rick's tortured, beautiful body. "For being so obedient, you get to decide what comes next. Now, I will admit that whatever may be going through your head right now is probably correct. I'm gonna have my way with you, Rick. And you can kick and scream and, generally, make the whole ordeal that much fucking worse for you…"
"Or?" Rick speculates, sensing Negan has more to say. When does the man ever shut up to begin with, right?
"Or, you can get down on your knees and pray to God that you got enough saliva to ease the way for how much this is gonna sting like a bitch," Negan taunts, but there's no grin or laugh this time. "Choice is yours."
But is it really? Rick wants to laugh.
Negan is making it sound as if that genuinely benefits Rick, but the fact of the matter is, is that it's just another thing Negan wants from him. Another low blow or stab at his pride… Rick has no allusions as he wordlessly drops to his knees much in the same way he did outside and hangs his head in shame. He can practically sense the smirk pulling at Negan's lips.
"Smart choice," Negan applauds, kicking Rick's clothes out of the way as his booted feet shuffle into Rick's view on the floor. "Raise your head."
With much disdain, Rick responds in kind as he lifts his weary gaze up at the imposing figure before him. Negan is smiling down at him, feeling on top of the world no doubt, knowing that he's already broken Rick before anything's even started. If Negan's being honest with himself, it's a bit underwhelming how easy this was to get ahold of Rick and his group. Granted, Rick has killed plenty of his men up until this point, but all in all this was a cakewalk.
Negan doesn't really know what he was expecting. A fight, maybe? But all survival instinct had been drained out of Rick. He was too tired to do much of anything. Now, the boy on the other hand… He would've fought. He would've kicked and screamed and clawed at Negan until the man would have no choice but to punch the kid's lights out. He could've had some fun with Carl. But this was the next best thing, having the leader of the group down on his knees and obeying him without a fight.
Rick's lashes flutter over glazed blue eyes, straining to focus on the man above him as said man steps up to the plate. Negan places a hand beneath his stubbled chin to keep Rick's head upright and steady as he absently strokes the pad of his thumb over Rick's bottom lip, admiring the tortured beauty of the broken man. The scar just under his right eye and the one across the bridge of his nose are just two of the many things that make Rick beautiful.
"You're lucky you have such pretty eyes, Rick. I would've loved to beat the ever living shit outta you in front of your boy, but I can't just go and destroy a pretty face like that," Negan compliments in his own twisted way, giving Rick a warm smile. "Your son takes after you a lot. I can tell he's a beautiful little boy. It's a shame his face is all fucked up. That doesn't necessarily take away his appeal though. Plenty of my men were looking at your boy tonight. Did you notice that? I can't imagine what they were thinking about…"
"I get it, alright? You're top dog and I pissed all over your territory. Now I'm paying for it," Rick speaks up, mustering up everything in him to shut Negan down. "But you keep my son out of this."
"Struck a nerve, have I?" Negan muses, still visibly amused with himself. He wipes at the corners of his mouth with one hand, nodding and chuckling. "Fair enough. I've had enough of this cat and mouse shit anyway. You're the guest of honor and it'd be rude to leave the others waiting. Let's get this show on the road."
Rick's gaze trickles down the front of Negan's broad body until his irises come to rest on the telltale bulge tenting the front of his pants. Rick swallows past his dry throat, sniffling slightly as he tries to mentally prepare himself for what's to come. He's never done this kind of thing before with another man and he's genuinely terrified. Not really because he's proud and it would be demoralizing, but mostly because he doesn't want to fuck up and piss Negan off even more.
"Well? Reach in and claim your prize, sweetheart," Negan jabs, lightly smacking Rick's cheek to coax him. "It ain't gonna bite."
He's smart enough to figure out that this means do it now and Rick wastes no time in reaching out for Negan's belt and fly. Rick fumbles for a brief moment because he's scared and nervous and he can't focus properly, but he eventually gets the man's pants and underwear down to mid-thigh. He stares at the sizeable erection presented to him and it makes Rick's cheeks burn. He hates to admit it, but it kind of excites him in a sick way. Negan must notice his hesitancy because barks out a short laugh.
"Why don't you go ahead and get yourself acquainted?" Negan offers, shifting closer. Rick wraps a tentative hand around the base and strokes it experimentally. "There you go. Just like ridin' a bike."
Rick continues to stroke Negan's cock a few more times before the man above him places a hand behind his head and urges Rick forward. With a slight gasp, Rick opens his mouth and wraps his lips over the tip of the other man's arousal. His lips part exponentially as they attempt to accommodate Negan's girth. The curl of Rick's lips as it slides over his cock is enough to get Negan groaning at the sight. He rakes his hand through Rick's damp hair and grips it tightly, inching his hips forward ever so slightly.
There's a point where Rick's mouth can go no further and he stops just about halfway down Negan's length before he starts to sputter in response. Negan's chuckle resounds darkly around the RV when Rick starts to bob his head. It sloppy and uncoordinated, but Negan seems pleased enough with the way Rick strokes what he can't fit in his mouth in time with his novice sucking. Negan clutches Rick's hair tighter in his hand and angles the man's face up towards him.
"I wanna see those pretty eyes watering as you suck me off," Negan tells him, pumping his hips to meet Rick's bobbing. "That's it, baby. Keep those eyes trained on me."
Somehow being forced to keep eye contact with Negan as he sucks the guy's cock makes the whole situation that much more embarrassing. Rick can't shut his eyes and pretend he's somewhere else. No, Negan wants to make sure that Rick is kept in this moment so he can forever remember the exact time and place Negan had beaten him. Rick stares up at Negan pitifully, trying to keep a particular rhythm as the heavy weight of Negan glides over his tongue and towards the back of his throat that causes him to gag almost every time.
Negan starts to thrust his hips a little more swiftly, gaining momentum as he slides further down Rick's throat with each thrust. Rick can only kneel there with his mouth hanging open as Negan fucks his throat and yanks his hair painfully, using him in a way he never thought possible. He's choking around the girth of him and even though Negan is going as far as he can, he's still got more to spare.
It's so much that Rick can barely breathe and his nose is running slightly from how worked up he is, but Negan doesn't let up right away. After a couple more agonizing thrusts, Negan pulls Rick off of his cock by the hair, making the man cough wetly. The gagging made Rick's eyes misty and a tear starts to collect at one corner as he still absent-mindedly strokes at Negan's wet cock. Instinct clearly taking over.
Rick is merely a machine running on rubber bands and paper clips at this point.
"Fuckin' hell!" Negan swears. He swats Rick's hand away so he can grab himself and proceed to rub the tip of his cock all over Rick's pink lips. "You're just one hot mess! I almost don't wanna fuck you for how badly I just wanna keep fucking that pretty mouth! But I'm a man of my word and I promised I'd be having my way with you tonight, Rick."
Rick is pulled to his feet by Negan's calloused hands, wobbling slightly as his legs try to support his weight. He stands up too fast because he immediately feels dizzy, drenched in a cold sweat that feels like more of a fever chill, as he's pushed along to the back of the RV where the bed is. Negan pushes him down face first into the crummy mattress, not bothering to be gentle in the slightest.
The bed dips with added weight and Rick instinctively tries to scramble up on his hands and knees to crawl away from it, but those same rough hands find their way to Rick's hips to still him. Rick tries to unconsciously wiggle out of the grip, but it's firm and much more powerful than all of Rick's energy combined. A hand pushes at the spot between his shoulder blades and forces Rick down so that his face is buried in blankets while his ass remains in the air.
Negan uses a knee to spread apart Rick's legs and settles himself between the man's thighs. His hands roam all over Rick's thighs until they come to rub at the curve of Rick's ass. Negan grips both cheeks in his hands and proceeds to spread them open, revealing Rick's blushing, unused entrance. Rick shivers from the action, feeling utterly exposed in the most intimate way imaginable, and in front of Negan no less.
"Hot damn! You really haven't done this before, have you?" Negan teases, pressing the pad of his thumb against the tight resistance of Rick's hole. Rick whines low in his abused throat and it elicits a deep chuckle from Negan. "It's gonna be an honor to be the one breaking you in for the first time, Rick."
Negan bends down to spit at Rick's hole, making the man below him flinch slightly, before he shoves two fingers deep into Rick without warning. Rick yelps at the sudden shock of being breached, spit is not nearly suitable enough for the situation, and fists the bedding in his hands. Negan works them in and out of him a few times to loosen Rick up, twisting and scissoring occasionally to stretch him, before pulling them right back out. Negan spits into his palm and rubs the makeshift lube all over his damp cock that had dried out a little during the maneuvering of Rick.
The fingers are immediately replaced by the blunt head of Negan's cock and the man starts to force feed his length into Rick's unprepared body. Rick lets out a strangled cry despite his best efforts, and he won't be surprised if everyone outside heard him. Negan doesn't bother to make him shut up or tell him to be quiet. Maybe he wants everyone to know what he does to Rick. Maybe it's just more shame he has to live with.
Either way, Negan keeps pushing in until his cock is full nestled inside Rick's quivering body. Rick is shivering and his thigh muscles are convulsing with how much stress and strain they're being put through at the moment, but it doesn't hinder Negan in the slightest. Rick barely gets a breather or time to adjust before the sadistic man above him starts to pull out all the way only to thrust back in sharply, splaying Rick open.
"You have got the tightest ass I've ever sank my dick into," Negan praises, out of breath from how much resistance he's pushing against each time he thrusts into Rick's yielding body.
Negan says something else along the lines of vulgar flattery, but it's lost on Rick's ears. All he can concentrate on is the pain shooting up his spine every time Negan re-enters him. All noise and coherent thought is fucked out of him instantly as he just gives up and goes boneless. The force of Negan's thrusting is enough to shift Rick up and down the mattress in a looping rhythm as he's fucked into the bed.
"Oh! Look at that!" Negan exclaims, pistoning his hips faster as Rick lays prone on the bed. "Taking it like a champ!"
Rick just takes what Negan gives him and he doesn't make a damn sound no matter how much he winces and squirms occasionally. The full length of his body is rubbing against the soft blankets of the bed and even his cock, but the pain is too sedating to really coax any sort of reaction out of Rick. He's hasn't shamed himself with becoming aroused yet and he doesn't plan to. He can't feel much of anything anyway.
Rick feels numb.
Disillusioned.
Like he's been erased.
But that's okay with him. Rick doesn't care what happens to him as long as it doesn't happen to Carl, and that's what really matters. Not the fact that Negan is gripping his hips tightly enough to bruise or the fact that the man is putting all of his weight into each thrust. He barely even notices the pain anymore because he feels warmth trickling down between his numb thighs. Rick doesn't even realize it's blood at the moment.
It feels like hours before Negan finally comes inside of Rick and marks his territory accordingly. Negan grunts deeply, satisfied with the whole outcome, pumping his pulsating cock in and out of Rick long after he's finished painting the abused walls of Rick's channel with his release. It's only now does Rick wince when Negan pulls out of him and snatches him up by the hair, pulling him into a standing position at the foot of the bed.
Rick stumbles, legs feeling like gelatin as he tries to regain some form of composure, reeling when he comes face to face with Negan once again. Negan grabs Rick by the face in his bruising grip, forcing Rick to look him in the eye. He doesn't say anything to Rick, only staring at him for what feels like the longest time, before he pushes the man down to the ground where is discarded clothes are.
"Get yourself dressed," Negan orders, putting on his leather jacket and grabbing Lucille.
Rick sniffles, sweat dripping from his matted hair and tears rolling down his cheeks. He doesn't even have time to reach down and check the damage to his body before Negan is urging him to get up. Rick only manages to get his underwear back on before Negan is kicking open the RV door and pushing Rick out with a rough shove that lands him in the dirt, sputtering pitifully. It hurts like hell and he'll have fresh bruises in various places come morning, but he takes it. This is Rick's fault, after all.
At least, that's what he keeps telling himself.
Rick doesn't bother getting up and doesn't want to. He doesn't want to see the frightened and disgusted looks on the other's faces. He can't bare to have them forever burned into his mind in his greatest moment of weakness. He's been defeated, that much is certain, and he's proven on many occasions that he can't always keep his people safe. And yet, Negan keeps pouring salt on old wounds that can never heal.
"This is what happens when you act out or disobey me," Negan announces, pointing the spiky end of Lucille down at the mostly naked and quivering body of the fearless Rick Grimes. "You become my property! If anybody has comments, questions, or concerns, now is the fucking time to spit that shit out!"
A deathly silence falls over the crowd as well as Rick's group who can only cry quietly as they watch Rick gasping and shaking in the dirt in soiled underwear. Negan looks around at them all, noticing the evident fear in their eyes and cherishing every single different emotion they all seem to portray.
Fear and sadness from mostly Sasha, Glenn, Rosita, and Aaron. Rage from Carl, Michonne, and Abraham. Daryl, Maggie, and Eugene are too messed up from their own wounds or health to really find energy to do much anything else but look on wearily as Negan surveys them all. When no one speaks up, Negan grins.
"No takers? Good!" Negan barks out. He pulls Rick put of the dirt and drags him back into the lineup. "Now the fun can really start."