"What do you want?"
Akutagawa had opened the door to see Atsushi standing there meekly. He had his hands in his pockets, and he was looking at a spot on the floor a
few inches in front of Akutagawa's shoes.
"Do you mind if I come in for a bit?"
Akutagawa moved out of the entrance and held the door open a bit wider to show his acceptance.
How long had this been going on now? At least twice a week for months Atsushi would just show up at Akutagawa's doorstep and would spend
the next hour or two sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest, head down, crying; sometimes he would tell Akutagawa what happened, sometimes
not. It seemed like anything could trigger him. The door getting pulled a little too loudly, someone spanking their child in public, loud thunder,
a shoe squeaking on a laminate floor. To be honest, none of this made much sense to Akutagawa; he felt like he had had a bad childhood, too. He
didn't know why, then, but he never turned Atsushi down or asked him to leave. He just let him sit there and cry or talk, and he would listen.
Sometimes he would make him a cup of coffee after he was finished. He knew when he was finished, it was like a switch flipped in his brain and he'd
stand up and laugh, wiping the sweat from his hands on his pants, and he'd apologize for acting so strangely. He'd get that goofy grin on his face
and promise it's the last time. The last time was only 9 days ago.
Atsushi came in, just like the other times, and curled up around himself on the floor. He didn't start crying though, not right away, he
started rocking back and forth ever so slowly; it was almost unnerving. Akutagawa started to reach out to him; he had meant to put his hand on his
shoulder, but Atsushi flinched and took a sharp breath as the tears started to fall.
"I'm sorry, Aku, I know I promised last time was the last time but.."
But whatever it was, he never finished his sentence. He completely broke down as far as Akutagawa could tell.
Akutagawa surveyed the room and saw a throw blanket on the back of the couch, and he thought maybe it might offer some comfort to Atsushi since he was shaking on the floor. He got the blanket, knelt beside Atsushi, and wrapped him in it. Atsushi was still shuddering beneath his grasp, but he tried
to calm him down. He wrapped his legs around Atsushi to help hold the blanket in place, laid Atsushi's head on his shoulder and softly ran his
fingers through his hair.
"The world is a cruel place. People don't need monsters so long as other humans exist; we are enough proof of that, but your past doesn't have to define
who you are now."
He could feel Atsushi's jagged breathing on his neck.
"Atsushi, you deserve to be alive. You are one of the most genuine, kind hearted, thoughtful people I know. I know it's selfish to say so, but you
renewed my own reason to live. I just want you to be happy."
He was rocking with Atsushi now, twirling the longer side of his hair around his fingers as his breathing evened out.
"You can feel safe and loved whenever you want, I will always let you in."