Warnings: some swearing, implied Matt/Mello and char death. I do not own Death note or its characters.
"I don't want to die."
Mello knew the red-head had been looking at him; that's why he said it. The gentle pitter-pat of typing had ceased, and had been for four and a half minutes, immediately after Mello had ditched a half-eaten bar of chocolate across the room.
From below, Matt could make out the tense lines of his lovers back through skin-tight fabric. He sighed.
"You don't have to." Matt knew his words were pointless; they'd been through this before not even 48 hours ago, when Matt had pleaded and cried screamed at Mello for wanting to go ahead with this stupid, dumb plan. It was stupid, he was stupid and this whole thing was just stupid.
"No." Mello swiveled his chair to face the younger man. "You don't have to." Matt's heart sank, because Mello was right. They could hire any dumb-fuck to drive an expensive car into a crowd to let off a smoke bomb. If they get out alive, they keep the car. Simple.
"Yeah, well, you can go fuck yourself, Mels." Matt glared, trying but failing to sound angry. "Because I'm not fucking leaving you, not now, after all this." The catch was, even if Matt did choose to live, he'd still lose, and they both knew it. That's how fucked up this shit really was.
Mello smiled, but Matt couldn't see. Because Matt couldn't see. He'd never admit it, but having Matt drive in the car tomorrow meant more than he could express.
Mello moved to sit next to Matt on the old sofa, pulling the red-head to lean against him. Matt had a sudden urge to throw his arms around the blonde, but settled for flicking Mello's stomach.
"There's nothing that'll change your mind, is there?" Matt knew the answer was no, that's why he hadn't slept last night.
Mello was silent for a minute, his head tipped back on the sofa, covering his face in shadow.
"Got no choice, Matt. If it were just about beating Near, then fine, yeah, I'd drop it." Mello's voice was flat, his eyes empty. "But it fucking ain't."
Matt dreaded the next part so just grit his teeth. "This whole thing's gotten outta control. More than a fucking game. And it's taken me this fucking long to realize." Mello sighed and gently flicked the centre of Matt's forehead. "If I do this, Near wins. Kira will lose."
"But you'll die. Probably." Matt couldn't be bothered starting this argument again, but it hurt too much just to leave it be.
Mello made a hmmph sound. He had lost all the enthusiasm he'd boasted when he first thought of the plan.
Matt looped his arm around the back of Mello's head to pull the blonde's face into the light. Better. He would kiss Mello, but he knew how that would end.
No more tears tonight; they were going to save the world. And tomorrow, it all began.