Chapter 1 With Regrets
The invites had been sent out more than three weeks ago. The RSVP date had now passed. And Jennifer had heard back from all but the one person she wanted there the most.
She feared what his answer would be, and so put off making the phone call. She made excuses all day, until it finally came to knock off time and the entire floor of Homicide had emptied in mere minutes. She rolled a blue biro between her fingers nervously for a good five minutes before switching her procrastination to tapping the end of the pens brittle aging plastic casing against her desk. After several minutes of that paired with staring across the office at nothing, she at last picked up the phone and dialled. She knew Nick would be at the lifts at any moment. It was now and never.
"Detective Ryan speaking," came the familiar voice at the other end of the line a moment later. The reception was so clear that it felt like he was just in the next room – not on the other side of the country.
"Detective Mapplethorpe speaking," she copied with a tiny grin on her face that she couldn't hold back.
"Jen!" He sounded surprised.
"Haven't caught you at a bad time have I? Still having afternoon tea over there aren't you?" she laughed remembering the time difference that usually mucked phone calls like this up.
Matt chuckled too in reply. "No no," he answered. "But yeah, we've still got a few hours to put in here today."
She expected him to say more, but when he didn't, she felt forced to get on with the real reason she had called. But she still found herself drawing out and putting off the inevitable. "So how are you Matty?" she asked after him earnestly. It'd been quite a while since they'd last spoken, and the longer they always left it the more awkward it always became. And Jen knew it was no one's fault but her own.
"Oh you know, putting out fires all over the place," he answered – a line he had used several times during their phone conversations since he had moved to Arson.
Jennifer never had an answer for that one – she found she couldn't make jokes of feelings the way Matt could. He'd gotten so very good at it, and all she could ever do was laugh good naturedly.
But then he turned serious, flipping the conversation on its head. "I got your invite," he informed her quietly. Jen was well aware it was a big ask of Matt, but she still wanted him there, and to an extent – mostly because Jen wanted it so much – Nick did as well.
"Good," she enthused genuinely, mentally holding her breath.
"But I can't make it Jen," he explained, a hint of apologetic tentativeness in his voice. He knew full well this would be crushing news for her, and he felt guilty at letting her down.
"Oh." The single syllable was all she could muster. Her old biro suddenly began crumbling in the hand that wasn't holding the phone to her ear, and tiny shards of clear plastic slipped through her fingers, littering the desktop. She didn't know what else to say, even though she'd prepared herself for this response from him, and had even briefly rehearsed in her head what she might say in reply to it.
"I'm sorry Jen," he apologised. "It's just…works crazy and I have a seminar on that week and my car just died the other day…I just can't."
He could provide as many excuses as he liked but they both knew he was turning down the invitation because he wouldn't have been able to bear watching her marry Nick.
Despite her disappointment at not having one of her dearest friends at her own wedding, Jennifer understood, and even sympathised. She often wondered how he was doing way out west, in a city he didn't know very well and which just didn't have the same feeling as their beloved Melbourne did. He never spoke much about it, even though she always made a point of asking, one day hoping he'd open up and tell her what life was really like in Perth.
They said their goodbyes not long after that, and Jen gathered her trench from off the back of her chair. As she shrugged it on the lift gave its familiar – and so often annoying – persistent ding and opened its doors to reveal Nick. He stepped just out of the enclosure and leant on the door to keep it from closing again. Flashing a grin at her across the office, he beckoned her over with just a single look.
Jen didn't need much in the way of coaxing. As she approached, Nick frowned a little upon seeing her expression. "You okay?" he asked gently as she stepped up to him.
She left her disappointment back in the office, stepped into the lift beside him, reached an arm around his waist, cheekily slipping her hand into his back pocket and smiled before kissing him keenly on the lips. "Couldn't be better," she reassured him. Together they rode the lift down to street level and walked out into the dusky light of the early evening, trying to decide where to go to eat as they walked.
A week later, a little white RSVP card, 'with regrets' circled in the centre of it and signed by Matt, arrived in Nick and Jen's letter box.