"Dan Vs. Austin Moon"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with "Dan Vs." or "Austin & Ally". Dan Vs. and its characters are owned by Starz Media and Austin & Ally and it's characters are owned by Disney Channel and It's A Laugh Productions. Anyway, I thought of this while watching some of my favorite Dan Vs. episodes, and I was thinking... what would happen if Dan had met Austin Moon? Well, this is what you get! So enjoy!

Chapter 1

Another hot day, another hot mess. That's what it was in the city. Other than that, things apparently get worse in this town.

Especially when that someone is named Dan. The short-statured malcontent spent all of his life alone inside his apartment in Casa Paradisio. But even though he was alone, he did have a little companion by the name of Mr. Mumbles, which by the way, was sleeping on top of Dan's head. When he purred, it felt a warm sensation tingling around Dan's body like he was resting on a massage chair.

Boy, did it feel so good.

That was until...

*RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!*

The alarm clock rang, which forced Mr. Mumbles to go crazy by attacking and scratching Dan right in the face!

"AGH! AGGGGH!" Dan screamed in pain.

After a few seconds of scratching Dan's face skin, Mr. Mumbles finally got off of him, which forced the malcontent to leap up out of bed and reach for the bathroom.

And when he got there, he checked the damage in the mirror. Luckily for him, the scratches weren't that deep. Just a few minor bruises here and there.

"Oh, that's just great," Dan rolled his eyes."That's perhaps the twentieth day I've been scratched. Must be a new record."

While he was trying to feel the scratches on his face, he overheard screaming going on outside. That kind of screaming coming from girls bothered Dan a bit.

"Oh, I can't wait to see what this is." Dan sighed as he ran to his bedroom window.

When he got to the window, he opened it up to see teenage girls standing around a huge line for some reason. They were holding signs of some pop star's face with words that said "I Love Austin" and "Austin, Marry Me" attached to them. Dan became highly annoyed.

"HEY, WOULD YA MIND SHUTTING UP?!" Dan shouted to the girls, "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

However, Dan's angry cries fell on deaf ears. It was like those screaming fangirls were ignoring the elephant in the room. And Dan was that elephant. But still, Dan wasn't giving up.

"HEY, SHUT THE HELL UP!" Dan screamed yet again.

Still, nothing happened. It's like the girls were ignoring Dan.

This fueled Dan's anger so much that he put on his usual blue pants and a black t-shirt that had the words "JERK" on it. He officially marched outside and confronted the fangirls himself.

"I'M GIVING YOU ONE MORE CHANCE," Dan screamed again, "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE SO I CAN SLEEP!"

Third time was finally the charm as two of the fangirls (which one of them looked like Dove Cameron and Debby Ryan) finally turned their attention to Dan.

"Aw, look at him!" The blonde said, "He's so cute!"

"Yeah, he reminds me of a little troll!" The redhead squealed.

"Aw, thanks!" Dan blushed from the compliment, "That really makes me-"

However, when he realized that the red-headed fangirl called him a troll, Dan snapped at her.

"Hey, I'm no troll!" Dan pointed at the Debby Ryan lookalike. "I'm very proud of the way that I look! Anyway, what's up with all your screaming?"

"We're screaming because Austin Moon's gonna be in town, and he's gonna be at a record store to sign our stuff!" The Dove Cameron lookalike spoke to Dan, "I hope he'll sign my bra."

"You mean I had to wake up to hear screaming demons cheer for some blonde-haired fart?" Dan reacted. "I'm not having it!"

But suddenly, the rest of the fangirls all gasped at Dan's comment. It was almost like they were offended. Which by the way, they were.

"Ahh, he called Austin Moon a fart!" One fangirl gasped.

"How dare somebody call him a fart?!" The other fangirl said.

"Let's kick his ass!"

"Oh no..." Dan gulped as a bunch of angry fangirls began cornering him around his car.

But before he could beg for mercy, Austin Moon's fangirls started beating Dan up with their fists and feet! Dan kept on screaming in pain as the force of those fists kept on slamming his abdomen, arm and his already scratched-up face. Dan tried to stand up on his own two feet, but the beatdown that the fangirls gave him carried over to Dan's car. He was cornered at the hood of the car with no way to escape and no way to break out the melee.

"OWWWWWW!" Dan yelled, "THAT'S MY FACE! GET OFF OF ME, YOU PRISSY MONKEY!"

While Dan tried to fight off the fangirls to no avail, the fangirls were cut off by the sound of a horn. When they turned around, the women were shocked at who was standing behind them.

"AHHHHHH, IT'S AUSTIN MOON!" The blonde fangirl screamed.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S HERE!" The red-headed fangirl screamed as well.

Appearing alongside the angry fangirls was Austin Moon, who popped out from his tour bus window with a shake in his hand.

"Hey ladies," Austin smirked, "Nice to see you all! Who wants my chocolate shake?"

"WE DO! WE DO!" The fangirls all yelled as they finally got off Dan.

From there, the females all waved their hands, hoping that they would likely catch Austin's tasty treat. For Dan, he finally sighed in relief as he tended to his hurt body.

Austin on the other hand, extended his arm like a quarter back.

"Okay, this one's going all out!" Austin smirked.

With perfect accuracy, Austin Moon threw the milkshake to the fans...

...

...

...which ended up landing on Dan's entire forehead, knocking him out cold.

This left the rest of the fangirls disappointed to be honest.

"Oh great, the troll got it." The red-headed fangirl groaned.

"That sucks," The blonde fangirl groaned as well, "I wanted it!"

"Relax everyone," Austin smiled at everyone. "There's enough free milkshakes to go around! I'll be giving them out at the record store just two blocks away! Just follow me, ladies!"

Hearing the part about the free milkshakes, the screaming fangirls got off of Dan and followed the traveling tour bus. While they left, Dan was left all alone on the top of his car.

Shockingly, he felt something drip from the top of his forehead. Was it blood? Did the fangirls beat him up so bad that actual blood was dripping from his forehead? As if the scratches to his face wasn't enough to begin with. Dan took his head and wiped up the goopy stuff from his forehead.

Much to his surprise, the goopy stuff...

...

...

...was contents of the strawberry milkshake itself.

"Oh no, he didn't..." Dan scowled, "How dare that blonde fart do this to me! How dare he sick his minions to gang up after me! Well, I'm not having it! And that leaves me only one thing to do at a time like this..."

With his fists clenching and his blood boiling to a breaking point, he screamed to the air in rage:

"AUSTIN MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

Well, this is gonna sound interesting. I mean, an Austin & Ally/Dan Vs. crossover? Why didn't I think of it?

How will Dan plot his revenge against Austin Moon? We'll find out in the next chapter! Until then, feedbacks are welcome! ^^