Hoshigumi - Watashi Ni!
Author's notes, disclaimer and all that crap: I don't own Sakura Taisen or any of the characters from the original games. However, I have created almost every single one of the major characters in this fanfiction, so if you use them without permission, then may Dave Robertson repeatedly hit you over the head with a big axe. Flame me if you want, I'll just flame right back at ya. I don't own the rights to any songs in this fic, whether I type out the lyrics or just name them – there is no way that I'll publish my own songs until I get them copyrighted. And yes, Kaede Ichirou is the granddaughter of Ougami and Kaede Fujieda, just in case I don't remember to mention it. Rated PG-13 for gratuitous strong language whenever Dave gets pissed off. There may be Yuri or lemon/lime or both, or anything along those general lines, although only if the characters get completely out of my control. Read and review, and see if it makes a difference in hell.
Thanks to anyone who deserves it. If you think you had something to do with this, then just pretend I thanked you personally.
His Grace Colonel the Duke Vincent von Valentine of Askar.
Dave Robertson listened to the announcement over the London Stansted Airport PA system. "Bloody finally," he muttered and headed over to the arrivals area. As the passenger left the plane, he watched for the girl he was supposed to be meeting. Finally, he spotted somebody fitting her description – tall, thin, long black hair - and approached her.
"Excuse me, are you," he consulted the piece of paper that Kaede Ichirou, his commanding officer, had given him, "Jennifer Catherine Stephenson?"
"I am. Why?"
"Lieutenant David Robertson, International Anti-Demon Defence Force, Star Unit, at your service. I'm to provide transport to the headquarters, and hopefully the government will eventually repay me for all the petrol I've used up ferrying people around the bloody capital all hours of the day and night…sorry, I'm rambling. Here's my ID." He showed her a plastic card, and she nodded and smiled.
"Thank you." Dave led her to the short-stay car park and then to a black 1957 Cadillac decorated with bright orange flames and a phoenix hood ornament. He got in and Jenny followed suite, nervously.
"Mind if I play music?"
"No, it's your car…" she murmured as she gripped the sides of the seat. Dave glanced at her and seemed to remember something. He flicked a switch on the dashboard and Jenny sighed with relief.
"G-force dampening, Tenbu strength. Now, where was I…oh, yeah. Music." He turned on the CD player and almost immediately, four bars of organ music reverberated around the car.
"Oh, this one's good. Perry Mason," exclaimed Jennifer.
"You like Ozzy Osbourne? Kid, I like you already!"
"Wait, it doesn't sound exactly like Ozzy, the voice is too deep."
"Vocals - D Robertson. Lead and rhythm guitars - D Robertson. Bass - D Robertson. Drums - D Robertson. Keyboards and synthesisers - D Robertson."
"How'd you play three guitars, a keyboard, the drums and sing at the same time?"
"I didn't. I recorded the drums, and then the bass, rhythm guitar, keyboard, lead guitar and vocals, then used a computer to mix them together, and then saved them to a CD. I've never managed to put a band together, so I just DJ for school disco's and stuff."
"I notice you did the riff on bass guitar instead of keyboards like it is on the album."
"Yeah, I saw the live performance of it at Ozzfest '96, and it sounds better."
"Definitely." They completed the rest of the journey in silence, broken only by one or both of them joining in during a chorus or guitar solo. Finally, Dave turned a corner into a small car park, and found the way forwards blocked by a limousine.
"Oi! Bugger off, you bloody arseholes, this is bloody government bloody property! I could bloody well have you bloody arrested!" Finally, a chauffeur stepped out, looked down his nose at Dave and Jenny and opened the door of the passenger compartment. A girl of about thirteen stepped out primly, wearing a purple kimono that looked as if it could fall of at any second.
"Oh, it's you, is it?" he growled. "You are late." The girl gestured at the chauffeur.
"Oeauwa, didn't you knoeauwa there was a traffic jam?"
"A whole bloody week late!" exploded Dave. "In case you didn't realise, Reiko Kanzaki, we have a planet to save here! If you're gonna take after your bloody grandmother with the whole bloody Prima Donna thing, then you can just bloody well forget it! You can bloody well go home now! Now get inside!"
"How dare you talk to me like that? Don't you know who I am? With one phone call, I could have you busted so low you'd have to say "sir" to a janitor! My grandmother supplies all of my team's equipment, and if she tells the government she's going to withdraw supplies because of you, you know what they'd choose! They'd-"
"In case you didn't realise, it isn't your team. This unit's commander is the overall force commander and an ex officio Cabinet member, making her answerable directly to the Prime Minister, and if your grandmother wants to cause the end of the world then so be it, she can be arrested for treason against Japan. And you can get your worthless arse inside NOW!" Jenny glared at Reiko from the car. "You," said Dave to the chauffeur, "can go. Don't bother coming back, you won't be needed. Bye," he finished, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "Come on, Jenny, you needed to meet you team-mates." He gestured towards the glass door of the building they were standing in front of. Suddenly she realised where they were: Greenwich, in the car park of the Millennium Dome. Still staring at the huge building, Jenny got out of the car and walked inside. Before she got there, however, Dave stopped her and lead her around the huge building to where several prefabricated buildings were arranged around a central area – "Male sleeping quarters," "Female sleeping quarters," "Living area," "Mech bay," and several others, including a greenhouse. Dave saw her looking at it.
"Mine. I grow plants and play music to them." A young woman, about Dave's age, ran up to them. She wore a tartan kilt, a Sex Pistols t-shirt and a tartan sweatband with wires leading off it. She looked at Jenny, flipped a lens from the band down over her eye, tapped a button on the control box on her belt, and began muttering seemingly meaningless numbers.
"Sarah, can it wait? I'm supposed to introduce her to the rest of the team first…"
"Oh, of course. OI! YOU LOT! GET YOUR ARSES OVER HERE NOW!" About ten people ran from the buildings. Dave introduced them one by one:
"Vladimir Ivanivich Rybczynski, our hitman. From the state of his lipstick, I'm guessing Maria Gonzalez is around, but I can't see her…" Vlad nodded at her. "Um, Reiko you've met, she's the granddaughter of Sumire Kanzaki, from the original Flower Team. Wilhelmina Paöle, our medic and expert on the paranormal and occult." Wilhelmina smiled slightly at Jenny. "Sarah Macadam, our mechanic and resident nutter." Sarah gave a sarcastic one-fingered salute. "The Terrible Twins, Jessica and Rebecca White – Jess has an IQ of over 200, and Becky knows every battle in the past two millennia like the back of her hand." The twins pretended to blush.
"Stop it Dave, you're embarrassing us."
"Gendo Kamijin, our telepath – he can communicate with any of us from anywhere in the world, which reminds me, any news of the General?" Gendo shook his head, and gave Jenny a warm smile. "And finally, Maria Gonzalez, easily capable of taking Sarah's title of Resident Nutcase away from her, if she didn't speak less English than my hamster."
"Ees no true, I talking bery hood Eenglish. Ees no hood you say I talking bery bad Eenglish, ees no true."
"Chui-sama, the Taichou's on her way back from the Houses of Parliament," Gendo said. "Give her a minute, she says. Apparently you're early."
"The Houses of Parliament are about five kilometres away! How's she going to get here that fast, especially in rush hour?" asked Jenny incredulously.
"Who said she was driving back?" smirked Gendo. Jenny was about to reply when a 12-foot robot landed in the car park, skidded towards them and screeched to a halt beside them.
"Jennifer, meet your main weapon, and your commanding officer." The front swung down and a woman with long brown hair stepped out.
"Hi. I'm Kaede Ichirou. General Ichirou to most people, but you can call me Kaede. This team's not like other military units, it works much better if we're friendly. Can't do Combination Attacks with someone you're scared of, can you?" Jenny smiled, and went to look around. Soon, the Twins approached her. Author's Note: Yes, it does deserve the capital letter, in the same way as Them often does.
"Hello," she said, warily.
"Hi," they said in unison.
"Um, do you really have an IQ of over 200?"
"Yes, she does," said one twin. "She could tell you what day of the week it was on May 13th one hundred years ago."
"Tuesday," replied the other. "And no, it's only 198."
"Did you know Gendo likes you?" asked Rebecca.
"Does he?" asked Jenny, amazed.
"He smiled at you," replied Jessica. "He likes you a lot."
"He isn't a very friendly person. If he thinks you're alright, he glares at you. We don't know what he does if he hates you."
"Probably wipes out the entire population of Norway," supplied Jessica.
"And how many is that?"
"4, 324,815 in 1994," replied Jessica before she could stop herself. "DAMN! Stop doing that!"
"Sorry," giggled Becky.
"Um, how can I tell you apart?"
"Easy. Becky always looks like she's plotting something," said Jess.
"Because I am. And Jess always looks bemused," said Becky.
"Because I am."
"Excuse me. Would you like to train, Jennifer?" asked Gendo.
"How did you do that?" asked Jennifer
"Do what?"
"Sneak up on us?"
"Ninja no michi," he replied mysteriously. "Well? Training?"
"Yeah, okay."
"You start tomorrow." He walked off towards the Male Quarters.
"Jenny," came a Scots voice. "You'd better synch with your Mech now, cause if Gendo's training you, you won't have time in the next few weeks."
"Okay," she shouted back.
"I'm in the Mech Bay," called back Sarah. Jenny walked over to the large shed, in which were about twenty large, bizarre-looking robots which she recognised as modified Tenbu units. Some of them were painted, but at least half were steel grey. Sarah gestured to one. "Get in, then." The top opened and the front swung down as Kaede's had, and Jennifer climbed inside. It sealed itself behind her.
"Right, initialise the BRL," came Sarah's voice over the speakers.
"What?"
"Pull the big red lever," replied Sarah resignedly. "I never get to use technical terms!" she complained.
"Right…done it."
"Okay, now pull the metal ring down over your shoulders and put your arms and legs in the sockets provided."
"…Done."
"Now close your eyes and count to ten." A low thrumming sound could be heard, in time with her mental count.
"Now open them."
"WOAH!" Instead of a cushioned steel plate, Jennifer was seeing through the Mech's eyes – two cameras mounted on the front of the Mechs "head."
"I take it you succeeded in synchronising with your Armour Unit."
"Wow…" Jennifer moved her arm, and the Mech's arm moved with it.
"The Mech doubles your height, increases your strength by about fifty times, and has the same walking and running speed as a human. Plus, it can fly, at Mach 1-1.5 unaided, Mach 4-5 with the booster jet unit."
"How does it work?"
"Well, you know it's said that a human only uses ten percent of his or her brain?"
"Yeah?"
"In Spirit-talented people, that other ninety percent produces as much energy as a nuclear reactor in any given time. Only a small amount, less than ten percent, is needed for the Mech, and the rest is boosted and used for psychic attacks. The boosting – beaming the energy through a super-cooled diamond lens – means your psychic strength is doubled while in your mech. Now, enable the BGD."
"What?"
"Big Green Dial. Twist it to the left…bet you're glad I didn't say knob, aren't you?"
"I'm just wondering who you went out with – a well-hung leper?" Outside the Mech, Sarah sweatdropped.
"Hah. Hah," came a different voice. "That was humourous."
"Who are you?" asked Jennifer.
"I am Spirit Armour Unit 00011. Your mech. Specify name."
"Um…Falcon?"
"Acceptable. Choose colloquial accent."
"What are my choices?"
"BBC English, Sunderland, Newcastle, Liverpool, Birmingham, Cockney, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, Cornish, Australian, American, French, German, Spanish, Italian, Other."
"Um…other?"
"Specify area or person, real or fictional, to search for sound recording of."
"Ozzy Osbourne."
"Searching…"
"How long will this-"
"Searching…"
"Take?"
"Done. Activating…testing. Alright! We're gonna do…Paranoid! Right, I'm done," said Falcon in a different voice – Ozzy's voice. "What colour d'ya want me?"
"Blue."
"Ice blue, royal blue, or navy blue?"
"Royal blue." With a whir, arms came down, spraying the Mech with paint with pinpoint accuracy.
"Now, Jenny," said Sarah, having recovered from Jenny's rarely seen sense of humour. "Walk around a bit, wave your arms, dance, stuff like that." Jenny took a few steps forward, span through 360 degrees and moonwalked back into her original position.
"EVERYBODY! FOOOOOOOOD! COMER MI PAELLA, ¿SI?" screamed Maria at the top of her lungs. Sarah scowled.
"Better hurry up or she'll het- sorry, get – annoyed." They did so and the rest of the evening was spent with everyone getting to know everyone else and trying to work out what the suspicious spheres of unmentionable gristle in the paella were – sheep's eyeballs or…not sheep's eyeballs.
BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! Jennifer fell out of bed the next morning, stood up, put on a dressing gown and went to answer the door. She didn't dare look at the clock – she wasn't sure what time sunrise was on August 21, but it hadn't happened yet. She wasn't even sure it was August 21 yet. For all she knew, it was still yesterday.
"Yes?"
"It's time for training. Hurry up and get ready."
"It's still dark!"
"Demons don't sleep."
"They won't have a choice in the matter if they wake me up this early. Come in and wait on the couch." Gendo did so. "And don't try to peek!"
"Of course not." A few minutes later, Jennifer came back out of her bedroom, fully dressed.
"Alright, what did you see?"
"Nothing. You said not to peek.
"You're telling me that you, a teenage boy, were in the next room to a naked teenage girl, and you didn't watch? Are you real?" Gendo nodded, and to prove a point, headbutted the wall, promptly knocking himself out. Author's note: He could have done it without knocking himself out, but she would be less likely to believe he was real then, wouldn't she?
Several minutes later, Gendo woke himself up and lead her around the Dome to the Hoshigumi's temporary gym. He allowed her to pick a weapon – a broadsword – and gave her a warning.
"You'll be training almost non-stop for the next week or so. You may want to take a break because you are either: hungry, tired, injured or dead. Only one of these is acceptable, and it isn't death." A long pause. Then:
"Well? Which one is it?" Gendo sweatdropped. This was not the answer he was expecting. Most people he had trained had complained about this state of affairs.
"It was a joke," he stated coldly. "All of the above will be taken into account, and I will teach you ninja techniques to deal with the first three. Unfortunately, when the ninja sensei developing reincarnation techniques killed himself to test his theory, it was discovered that it was less than effective."
Gendo was true to his word. Jennifer discovered that she could heal minor injuries and go without sleep or food for longer than before her training started, as well as being able to hold her own in battle. Unfortunately, her training took up all her free time until the day before school started. Soon after she left the gymnasium on the morning of Monday, September 9th, a new sound was heard over Greenwich.
BREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEPBREEP!
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And there it is, chapter one. R+R, people. Chapter 2 coming up…