Blood and Money or How Corporations Killed earth
A Rock and Roll tale
Part one Intro and The beginnings
I was a journalist when I was picked to go on the flight to the Intestella galaxy. Of all the people NASA could have picked, a civilian was not normal, yet the president needed someone that has experience in the music industry and seeing that I worked for "Rolling Stone" I seemed a natural fit. The following story you are about to read is an oral history of the phenomenon that was The Crescendolls, their legacy and how earth, my now former home was destroyed because of them.
Part one 2001-2002
Stella (Bass)
I guess we should start from the beginning. I formed the band in early 15,999 what you earthlings call 2001. I never expected to visit your planet nor did I have any plans to, we were just a band who performed what you earthling's call House. I guess we got compared to the earth band that has the silly name, what's their name (Pauses) Daft Punk? Okay if that's what you say but we weren't influenced by earth at all.
Octave (Keyboards, Vocals)
We were just kids having fun, I mean we didn't have that 9-11 bull crap that you earthlings had that turned you all into Eurocentric hate mongers. Nor was our leadership like the one that screwed up your economy. I had no plans to go to earth, it just happened. I mostly did the vocals, some of them were done through a more sophisticated version of what you earthlings call a vocoder and Baryl did the drums when there was a need otherwise we were just a simple rock band.
Arpegius (Lead Guitar)
Well I guess it was just our luck that that nut job gassed us when we were performing. Bad luck but luck nonetheless. I think we were performing our signature tune "One More Time" and when we nearly finished I smelled this gas and saw everybody faint and I tried to escape but couldn't and then this shit started.
Baryl (Drums)
I don't remember shit man, it was like I was what you earthlings used to say, "Trip Balls" I may have been high the day of the concert but like I said I don't remember a thing. Did you talk to Arpegius (pause) you did? Good because he'd be the one to talk to about that.
Frank Garret (friend of Earl De Darkwood)
This guy was a nut, pure and simple. He kept on telling me when he discovered this band on this planet in some fucked up galaxy that he'd have his 5,555 whatever that thing was. So he sent some of his cronies on a spaceship to bring them here and screw them. By screw them I mean what he did to every other musical genius he discovered. He claimed he discovered Mozart! Can you believe that, fucking Mozart? I left earth with the others in the lottery after he died. I shouldn't have even left this planet, we were all doomed.
Steven Shroyer (Writer, Daily Kent Stater)
I knew shit was going down, I just didn't know what shit. I was getting my masters when they came here, I didn't know they were aliens, no clue. I knew they all wear decorative eyewear and they were all over MTV and all of a sudden I needed to do a story on them for the homecoming concert in the MAC. They were such a wannabe Daft Punk that I never paid attention. In essence I had no clue that we were in any danger as a species. I knew that as a country we were fucked but still but not as a species.
Stella
What do I remember? Well I remember signing the contract, or shout I say Darkwood did since I had no real concept of writing. You ever read those books by Dean Koontz, the ones about Frankenstein? Well we were those monsters. He did some freaky shit in a lab somewhere, and wiped our memories and put them on disks. I had no self identity, or culture. I have been reading the works of a famous African American named Maulana Karenga and how he said there was a culture crisis with his people. Well we had our own culture crisis, in our heads. It was like we had no idea of who we are. I remembered Darkwood liked rough sex too. When he raped me the first time (pauses) sex without permission is rape right because I didn't consent, he slapped me around and bit me. Fucking bit me, and I told Arpegius this and he said it must be earth custom. I guess he found a way to keep some of his identity.
Octave
Arpegius found a way to recover some of his memories, from this book he read by a guy named (pauses) Mellott? He was a psychologist and he believed in some sort of meditation technique called "Regressive Mind Therapy." where he could just relax his breathing and get something back. I don't follow this new age bullshit.
Frank Garret
Oh do I remember him changing those aliens? Fuck yeah I do! I was the one who designed the machines and I now I feel sort of uncomfortable I did that because I ruined so many lives this way and they didn't deserve it. He wanted his 5,555 though and I told him, "Look, maybe now is the time to give up the music biz? Move to Florida and settle down." he was dead set for this and now look (Points to where earth used to be) all this for music.
Matt Edwards (Journalist)
Looking back on this whole Crescendolls thing, I knew we were on to the next phase of music. I mean my daughter wanted to be Stella and lusted after Arpegius. It was no longer Justin Timberlake or The Backstreet Boys, it was this electronic shit. I grew up on Depeche Mode and stuff like that and this sounded more like disco than alternative or pop. I couldn't go anywhere without hearing "One More Time" it drove me up the wall (Crying) I didn't see the signs I didn't know I would lose her forever.
Jim Garrison (A and R for Capitol Records)
I knew they were special, knew it from the start. So when Earl asked me to sign them I did. I had no clue we would end up dooming the world. No clue.
Stella
By the end of 2001 we were on our way to becoming huge. But something was missing, that's when I met and lost Shep(Crying) Could you shut the recorder off, I'm done for now.
From the December 31st issue of the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
MYSTERIOUS MESSAGE RECOVERED FROM GLEN SATTELITE
NASA Scientists are still trying to decode a message from a distant galaxy that was received early this morning. Scientists claim the satellite came from the Interstella Galaxy and its 5,555 planet yet unnamed at this time. Glen scientists do not know whether do not know what it says yet and will not confirm to whether the message is connected to the recent UFO sighting in Los Angeles where a spacecraft has crashed somewhere near Simi Valley.
TBC