Lemon Out-Takes Harry Potter Style
By: Magaru Sakari
Hello! This is my first Lemon Fic. So I hope you like it. It's kind of a Harry Potter Style. So if you read the Harry Potter books than you'll understand it the most. It may be kind of dumb, but you have to read it to fine out. Have fun reading!
Oops, I forgot the disclaimer. All the Harry Potter characters don't belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling. Okay. Got it?! Good.
*****
Author: Okay, in this Lemon fic, Draco has to choose between keeping his birthmark and doing it with Cho.
Harry: A birthmark?!
Author: Yes, a birthmark. It's kind of interesting. Keeping a birthmark over a hot, pretty, 6th year girl, that's on the quidditch team.
*****
Draco: Man, why did I have to be in this stupid fan fic? I could have been checking out all the girls by now.
Harry: Shut up, Malfoy. I'm the one who's famous. And I am madder than you, so stop babbling.
Draco: Whatever. Anyways, where are the girls at?
Harry: Probably walking around the castle looking for the perfect guy. Which is me of course!
Draco: Yeah right. I'm the better one.
Harry: Sure you are. Your not famous, your not handsome, and I'm not from the dark side.
Draco: At least I'm rich and I have all the Armani's and Polo's I want.
Harry: At least I pick the better friends.
(Both look over at Crabbe and Goyle eating very piggish by the lake)
Draco: Yeah that's true, which I hate to admit.
(At that moment, Hermione, Cho, Lavender, Pavati, Pansy, and Ron walks toward the castle)
Harry: Where were you girls?
Cho: Oh, we were shopping in Hogsmeade.
Harry: Shopping? Hermione, you never shop. All you do is studying and put your nose in books.
Hermione: You haven't seen the real me yet.
Draco: He's in a bad mood right now Hermione. He's just jealous because I'm better looking than him.
Harry: Is not! Girls, who do you think is better looking me or the loser?
(All the girls including Ron starts giggling and runs inside the castle)
Draco: What was that all about?
Harry: I'm not sure, but I think Ron's turning out to be gay.
*****
(Hermione stands outside of Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration classroom. Hermione breaths slowly, opens the door to the classroom and walks in.)
Professor McGonagall: Why, hello Hermione. What are you doing inside the castle at this time?
Hermione: Oh, I wanted to find out what I got on my final exam?
Professor McGonagall: Oh, okay. It's here somewhere. (shuffles through papers) You got a 96 out of 100.
Hermione: What? That's impossible. I can't get a 96 that's impossible. Who got the highest score?
Professor McGonagall: Okay, let's see (shuffles through papers) Here it is. Neville Longbottom.
(Hermione starts screaming)
*****
Hermione: Hi Draco!
Draco: What do you want, Granger?
Hermione: Nothing, just wanted to say hi and how you've become very handsome over the past 4 years.
Draco: (blushes) Really? I'm more handsome than Potter?
Hermione: Of course, and I've known that for years. I was hoping you would notice.
Draco: Oh, not really. I like girls that don't have bushy hair, doesn't wine about getting a bad grade when it's really good, and hangs out with dorky people.
Hermione: Dorky friends? Look at yours. (Both looks at Crabbe and Goyle eating at the table)
Draco: Yeah that's true! Wow, the second time today. How embarrassing.
Hermione: That's what I thought!
*****
Harry: Ron, can I ask you something?
Ron: Sure, anything.
Harry: I don't want to be mean or anything but are you gay?
Ron: Me, gay? No of course not, why would you ask something like that?
Harry: Uh, look at yourself. Your wearing a pink nightgown, changed all your Cudley Cannons posters to pink ponies and pink bed sheets?
Ron: So, pink is my favorite color. Is there a problem with that?
Harry: No, that really. (Walks out of the dormitory)
*****
Author: Okay Cho, in this scene, Harry is going to...( whispers in Cho's ear)
Cho: (eyes widen) Really! Bring it on.
Author: Good, I was hoping you liked it.
Cho: Yeah I do. Oh and one more thing. Since I don't know anything about the Muggle world, what is sex? And am I doing it was Harry?
Author: You'll find out when we start shooting it. Come on Harry. Let's go. (Harry walks in with red eyes)
Harry: No, don't make me do it. I'm still a boy, please. My body is still developing.
Author: You're doing this scene and that's final.
Harry: I don't want to.
Draco: Want a dork. I'll do it.
Author: Fine, go back to your trailer Harry. Draco, get ready, and you'll get a promotion for that. (Draco smiles broadly, but then stopped suddenly)
Draco: What is sex?
(Harry comes on stage and starts whispering in Draco's ear. His eyes growing big in 3 seconds flat. Cho waiting on the edge of the bed was looking impatient.)
Draco: Why would you make me do icky things like that? Ewwwww.
Harry: Yeah, you creep! Do you think that people actually want to read this disgusting garbage?
Author: Everybody wants to read about Draco having sex with Cho, my friend told me so.
Draco: Oh, and who is your friend?
(suddenly someone apparates next to and steps out of the fog)
Luicus: That would be me son. Now Draco I want you to do it with Cho. I don't want you to go grow up being gay like the Weasleys. Now go do it with her.
Draco: Yes father.
*****
Professor Dumbledore: I'm the great wizard in the world, always busy, but you want me to zap you a device that makes people horny?
Author: You guys are the great. You can make anything in seconds, and I don't have time to make one because it takes months, so would you mind zapping me one.
Professor Dumbledore: Fine (flicks his wand and a machine appears) Here you go.
Author: Thanks. You'll get a promotion for that.
*****
(Draco carries Cho into his room and throws her on the bed Cho begins taking off her robe while Draco takes his robe off)
Cho: Draco you don't know how long I've waited for this..
Draco: Me too, Cho...
(Draco unbuttons his pants and Cho begins to scream and then faints)
Author: What's wrong now?
(Draco show him)
Author: We can't use that in the movie. Come on let's go to Professor Dumbledore and get rid of that.
*****
(Cho, Hermione, Lavender, Pavati, and Ron went with Draco to Professor Dumbledore's office)
Professor Dumbledore: Hello, what do you need now?
Author: I need you to get rid of Draco's birthmark that looks like the shape of the United Kingdom on his bum.
(Girls start giggling)
Draco: Shut Up. You can't get rid of my birthmark. It's important to me. You can find another sex man, because I'm not doing it without my birthmark.
Author: Fine, Harry are you ready yet?
Harry: (whispers) Yes, I'm ready..
*****
Harry: Hermione, please. I want to continue.
Hermione: It's been almost 4 hours, I'm tired. Let's continue tomorrow. Your making me do most of the work. All you do is just say 'Ah, come on, harder. You can do it.'
Harry: I'm just encouraging you.
Hermione: Why don't you make this Blasted-End Shrewt breed with another animal. Crookshanks won't do it. Go get Trevor.
Harry: I wanted to see what would happen.just trying to see if I can discover a new species to the world.
*****
Okay, it was kind of funny. I hope it made you laugh a little. But I'm guessing it was a stupid lemon story. I know. I couldn't think of anything else. If you have any comments or ideas on how I should fix this story, please e- mail me at SleepingSnorlax@yahoo.com, and for the subject post the name of the story, so that I would know. I get a lot of junk mail everyday. I'll post another story up soon. Hope to here from you soon. Bye!
By: Magaru Sakari
Hello! This is my first Lemon Fic. So I hope you like it. It's kind of a Harry Potter Style. So if you read the Harry Potter books than you'll understand it the most. It may be kind of dumb, but you have to read it to fine out. Have fun reading!
Oops, I forgot the disclaimer. All the Harry Potter characters don't belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling. Okay. Got it?! Good.
*****
Author: Okay, in this Lemon fic, Draco has to choose between keeping his birthmark and doing it with Cho.
Harry: A birthmark?!
Author: Yes, a birthmark. It's kind of interesting. Keeping a birthmark over a hot, pretty, 6th year girl, that's on the quidditch team.
*****
Draco: Man, why did I have to be in this stupid fan fic? I could have been checking out all the girls by now.
Harry: Shut up, Malfoy. I'm the one who's famous. And I am madder than you, so stop babbling.
Draco: Whatever. Anyways, where are the girls at?
Harry: Probably walking around the castle looking for the perfect guy. Which is me of course!
Draco: Yeah right. I'm the better one.
Harry: Sure you are. Your not famous, your not handsome, and I'm not from the dark side.
Draco: At least I'm rich and I have all the Armani's and Polo's I want.
Harry: At least I pick the better friends.
(Both look over at Crabbe and Goyle eating very piggish by the lake)
Draco: Yeah that's true, which I hate to admit.
(At that moment, Hermione, Cho, Lavender, Pavati, Pansy, and Ron walks toward the castle)
Harry: Where were you girls?
Cho: Oh, we were shopping in Hogsmeade.
Harry: Shopping? Hermione, you never shop. All you do is studying and put your nose in books.
Hermione: You haven't seen the real me yet.
Draco: He's in a bad mood right now Hermione. He's just jealous because I'm better looking than him.
Harry: Is not! Girls, who do you think is better looking me or the loser?
(All the girls including Ron starts giggling and runs inside the castle)
Draco: What was that all about?
Harry: I'm not sure, but I think Ron's turning out to be gay.
*****
(Hermione stands outside of Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration classroom. Hermione breaths slowly, opens the door to the classroom and walks in.)
Professor McGonagall: Why, hello Hermione. What are you doing inside the castle at this time?
Hermione: Oh, I wanted to find out what I got on my final exam?
Professor McGonagall: Oh, okay. It's here somewhere. (shuffles through papers) You got a 96 out of 100.
Hermione: What? That's impossible. I can't get a 96 that's impossible. Who got the highest score?
Professor McGonagall: Okay, let's see (shuffles through papers) Here it is. Neville Longbottom.
(Hermione starts screaming)
*****
Hermione: Hi Draco!
Draco: What do you want, Granger?
Hermione: Nothing, just wanted to say hi and how you've become very handsome over the past 4 years.
Draco: (blushes) Really? I'm more handsome than Potter?
Hermione: Of course, and I've known that for years. I was hoping you would notice.
Draco: Oh, not really. I like girls that don't have bushy hair, doesn't wine about getting a bad grade when it's really good, and hangs out with dorky people.
Hermione: Dorky friends? Look at yours. (Both looks at Crabbe and Goyle eating at the table)
Draco: Yeah that's true! Wow, the second time today. How embarrassing.
Hermione: That's what I thought!
*****
Harry: Ron, can I ask you something?
Ron: Sure, anything.
Harry: I don't want to be mean or anything but are you gay?
Ron: Me, gay? No of course not, why would you ask something like that?
Harry: Uh, look at yourself. Your wearing a pink nightgown, changed all your Cudley Cannons posters to pink ponies and pink bed sheets?
Ron: So, pink is my favorite color. Is there a problem with that?
Harry: No, that really. (Walks out of the dormitory)
*****
Author: Okay Cho, in this scene, Harry is going to...( whispers in Cho's ear)
Cho: (eyes widen) Really! Bring it on.
Author: Good, I was hoping you liked it.
Cho: Yeah I do. Oh and one more thing. Since I don't know anything about the Muggle world, what is sex? And am I doing it was Harry?
Author: You'll find out when we start shooting it. Come on Harry. Let's go. (Harry walks in with red eyes)
Harry: No, don't make me do it. I'm still a boy, please. My body is still developing.
Author: You're doing this scene and that's final.
Harry: I don't want to.
Draco: Want a dork. I'll do it.
Author: Fine, go back to your trailer Harry. Draco, get ready, and you'll get a promotion for that. (Draco smiles broadly, but then stopped suddenly)
Draco: What is sex?
(Harry comes on stage and starts whispering in Draco's ear. His eyes growing big in 3 seconds flat. Cho waiting on the edge of the bed was looking impatient.)
Draco: Why would you make me do icky things like that? Ewwwww.
Harry: Yeah, you creep! Do you think that people actually want to read this disgusting garbage?
Author: Everybody wants to read about Draco having sex with Cho, my friend told me so.
Draco: Oh, and who is your friend?
(suddenly someone apparates next to and steps out of the fog)
Luicus: That would be me son. Now Draco I want you to do it with Cho. I don't want you to go grow up being gay like the Weasleys. Now go do it with her.
Draco: Yes father.
*****
Professor Dumbledore: I'm the great wizard in the world, always busy, but you want me to zap you a device that makes people horny?
Author: You guys are the great. You can make anything in seconds, and I don't have time to make one because it takes months, so would you mind zapping me one.
Professor Dumbledore: Fine (flicks his wand and a machine appears) Here you go.
Author: Thanks. You'll get a promotion for that.
*****
(Draco carries Cho into his room and throws her on the bed Cho begins taking off her robe while Draco takes his robe off)
Cho: Draco you don't know how long I've waited for this..
Draco: Me too, Cho...
(Draco unbuttons his pants and Cho begins to scream and then faints)
Author: What's wrong now?
(Draco show him)
Author: We can't use that in the movie. Come on let's go to Professor Dumbledore and get rid of that.
*****
(Cho, Hermione, Lavender, Pavati, and Ron went with Draco to Professor Dumbledore's office)
Professor Dumbledore: Hello, what do you need now?
Author: I need you to get rid of Draco's birthmark that looks like the shape of the United Kingdom on his bum.
(Girls start giggling)
Draco: Shut Up. You can't get rid of my birthmark. It's important to me. You can find another sex man, because I'm not doing it without my birthmark.
Author: Fine, Harry are you ready yet?
Harry: (whispers) Yes, I'm ready..
*****
Harry: Hermione, please. I want to continue.
Hermione: It's been almost 4 hours, I'm tired. Let's continue tomorrow. Your making me do most of the work. All you do is just say 'Ah, come on, harder. You can do it.'
Harry: I'm just encouraging you.
Hermione: Why don't you make this Blasted-End Shrewt breed with another animal. Crookshanks won't do it. Go get Trevor.
Harry: I wanted to see what would happen.just trying to see if I can discover a new species to the world.
*****
Okay, it was kind of funny. I hope it made you laugh a little. But I'm guessing it was a stupid lemon story. I know. I couldn't think of anything else. If you have any comments or ideas on how I should fix this story, please e- mail me at SleepingSnorlax@yahoo.com, and for the subject post the name of the story, so that I would know. I get a lot of junk mail everyday. I'll post another story up soon. Hope to here from you soon. Bye!