This is the letter Edward wrote to him mom. It is referenced in Chapter 18 (officially 19 on fanfiction). This letter writing tradition is actually something we did when my dad passed away unexpectedly five years ago. We have continued in over the years. Whenever something big happens or we just need to share, we write letters and burn them. There are more outtakes to come!

Enjoy.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Hi, Mom.

I hope you're doing well. I'm doing great… well, some stuff is great. I met an amazing woman, Bella, and I wish you could meet her. She's beautiful – inside and out. She's been through a lot in the last few years. She was abused by her ex-husband and managed to escape back here to Forks to live with her dad, Chief Swan. Can you believe I'm dating his daughter, Bella?

She is amazing to me, Mom. She doesn't put up with my crap, and she forces me to talk through my problems. Yeah, just like you used to do. We haven't talked a lot about the future, but I know she's the one. Someday, when the timing is right and we've worked through some of the little stuff, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I can't imagine my life without her.

So, I finally got back into culinary school. I needed to finish after taking some time off after you… yeah, so I started back, and the chefs at the school have been really great. I still have to take most of the classes I took in Chicago again, but they are giving me more challenging assignments and a lot more freedom than the other students.

You are never going to guess where I've been interning! C'est Si Bon in Port Angeles. I know it used to be one of your favorite restaurants. Chef J is essentially letting me run the kitchen while he's preparing for the big festival. I love it, Mom! I love the smells and sounds, the crazy tempo of a busy evening service, and most of all, feeling completely confident and sure of myself in there. It's so amazing being there. You would be so proud of me… at least I hope you would be. I feel so good there, and I can't wait until I finally finish school – again – so I can start my own place.

Ali finally got married to Jasper. She was gorgeous, Mom. You were the one missing piece of her happiness that day, but Carlisle, Dad (yeah, I know I need to explain that), and I tried to make it extra special for her. He gave her your pearls, the ones you wore on your wedding day, and I gave her matching earrings. Bella gave me the idea to find a picture of Ali when she was little playing dress up wearing them and one of you on your wedding day and frame them. So, I did… and I even inscribed that silly nickname you gave her, Sugarpop, on it. She loved it… cried, of course.

The whole day was great. Bella made the cupcakes – I forgot to mention that above. Bella works with me at The Diner, and she bakes all the cupcakes there. She does an amazing job. I bet you two would have fun baking together. She's so creative and comes up with the most amazing, unique flavors. So good.

Anyway, Carlisle. Yes, I've been calling him that. Things haven't really gotten better between us. If anything, they are more distant. We set aside our differences for Ali's wedding, and Bella tells me that he wants to get past all of this… but I just don't know. I don't know how to forgive him. I want to, but I just don't know how.

Every time I look at him, all I see is the big lie he told me about you… and I feel like I'll never be able to get past him stealing those moments from me. Mom, I should have been able to grieve for you in my own way, not in front of everyone else. He should have told me over the phone… at least that way I would have been able to think, feel, grieve or whatever the hell I needed to do before I got to Forks. But no, he made that choice for me… he led me to believe you were okay… and you… weren't.

But despite all of that… I miss him. I hate even writing it. I just… with Ali's wedding, we put it all aside to make the day special… and it was nice. It was nice not having to worry about him making some kind of comment or try to dig into my life.

Who knows…I know you would hate that we're like this… that the family has kind of fallen apart. Alice is the one person keeping us all together, and I know it's taking its toll on her, too.

What should I do, Mom? How do I get past this? How? Please tell me, okay? Please.

I miss you so much. I miss our long talks. I miss us getting to cook together. Mostly, I just miss having you here.

I can't write anymore… I love you.

Edward