She felt broken, lost, rejected. Her heart had been shattered by the one boy who she thought she could trust with it. It hurt more than anything she had ever experienced, and she didn't know where to turn or who to run to. Harry wouldn't understand; he hated that she had ever got involved with Draco, and so did Ron. Most of her close friend in Gryffindor felt that way, in fact. The youngest Weasley becoming involved with the Prince of Slytherin had nearly put her into exile. All of a sudden, she was impure and untrustworthy. That had made her feel bad, but she had thought Draco would be on her side through and through. She had thought that it would have all been worth it.
But she had been sorely mistaken.
Draco had said that they couldn't work out, that they were too different. She had tried to explain to him that that was the appeal, but he didn't seem to understand. Even when he didn't deserve it, when he had lied and when he had given her no reason to put her faith in him, she had been on his side. When he had started to flinch any time she touched his left forearm, when she had figured out, without the benefit of his word, that he had been initiated as a Death Eater, when he had overtly lied about the awful things he had done, Ginny was still there for him.
He had said he was protecting her by keeping her at arm's length. Voldemort's knowledge that Draco had penetrated the tight circle of the Order through involvement with a Weasley was dangerous for her. The Dark Lord would be able to use Draco to manipulate her, or perhaps even the other way around. He had said that the two sides shouldn't be consorting at a time like this, and then he let her go. He broke her heart.
Tears didn't fall, though. She was too numb to cry, though she was sure that she would eventually, once her loss had finally sunk in. Crying in front of him would have been a weakness in his eyes, anyway, and it would have only furthered his assurance that she was too young to be tied up in a relationship with him, with a bad man. That's what he had called himself. A bad man.
The Gryffindor common room was surprisingly vacant, though the golden trio still remained huddled up by the fireplace, undoubtedly discussing what would happen next, what Harry needed to do next. She contemplated whether or not she should join them, in hopes that the conversation would be a welcomed escape from her thoughts of Draco, but their immediate silence in her presence told her that she was not welcome. Instead, she took the stairs to her dormitory. Thankfully, it was even more bare than the common room. At this point, she just wanted to be alone.
She crashed onto her bed, curling her knees upwards and into her stomach, her red hair splayed over her pillow. She held on to the necklace that she had been wearing, an emerald pendant that he had given her, a Malfoy heirloom. Ginny had told him that she wouldn't give it up, that she was too attached to it, and Draco had given in despite being initially adamant about retrieving the piece. Her hand clutched onto the charm, almost as though it would disappear if she let it go. It was at that point, when she thought about the day that he had given her the jewel and remembered the way that he had kissed her neck softly as he hooked the clasp around her throat, that she had finally allowed herself to cry. It was over. It was really, really over.
Several minutes passed before Ginny heard the door to the sixth-year girls' dormitory creak open. She tried to stop her tears from flowing, halting any suspicion for whoever had entered that comforting her was a necessity, but her attempts were all for naught. A shadow was cast over her huddled form; she knew that someone had come to see her, and that someone had surely already noticed the wet spot on her pillow that had resulted from her tears.
"Ginny, are you alright?"
It was Hermione. In all honestly, this particular seventh-year girl was about the last person that Ginny was interested in speaking to. More than anyone, Hermione had made it clear that Ginny's involvement with Draco was 'careless and incongruous' and that their relationship was 'a danger to their cause.' There had been no room for interpretation, and Ginny was not in the mood to be chastised for her decisions.
"Please. Tell me why you're crying," the brunette insisted. "Gin, we could hear you all the way in the common room."
So that was it, then. Ron had probably been concerned and, since there were wards on the girls' dormitories, Hermione was merely his gopher.
Angrily, Ginny sat up. "I don't need your sympathy, alright? I'm fine, and I'd just like to be left alone."
Hermione stared at the younger girl, obviously hurt by the outburst. "I – I'm sorry. I didn't, well, I didn't mean to disturb you. Goodnight."
Her friend's reserved response plagued Ginny with guilt. The older girl had, perhaps, not been sent by Ron, as she did appear to be on her way to bed. All of her books were tucked away into her knapsack and her hair had been twisted up into a bun and held in place by her quill. She didn't seem to have any intention of returning to the common room, much less reporting to Ron about what was found out about Ginny.
"Wait, Hermione," Ginny said, effectively stopping the other girl in her tracks. "I could actually use a friend right now. That is, if you're free."
The brunette smiled softly and approached Ginny. She set down her knapsack beside the bed and sat down to face her friend, each girl sitting Indian-style. Though Hermione was not the most social girl, and certainly not the most tactful, she knew well enough that she should allow Ginny the first word, to begin speaking when she was ready. Thus, she waited, sitting perfectly still and allowing the younger girl to gain her composure.
Ginny took a deep breath. "Draco broke up with me. He said that he didn't have a choice, that he had to leave me."
Hermione's face fell. It was obvious that her emotions in that instant were completely mixed. On the one hand, she agreed that Draco and Ginny should not be together, but on the other hand, she felt terrible that her friend had got hurt in the process. "Ginny, I don't know what to say!" she said, clamping a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with sympathy. "I'm so sorry. I know how you felt about him."
"I suppose there was no way that it could have worked, really. We're so different." Ginny paused, absentmindedly allowing her fingers to trace the patterns of stitching on her blanket. "I know nobody else really understood what we had, and I know that Malfoy was sort of an arse on the surface, but he was always so sweet to me."
"Believe it or not, I did notice how he was with you, Gin." Hermione bit her lip. "I know that I was rather hard on you about it, but I suppose in a way that I was just jealous that I didn't have what you had."
Ginny touched her friend's hand. "You will. You'll find the right person for you, and everything will be perfect. You'll see." It felt nice for her to be distracted, to focus her energy on comforting a friend rather than falling apart and feeling broken over Draco.
The older girl shrugged. "I don't know, but I suppose you must be right. There's someone for everyone, I guess, but I just wish my brain had a map to tell me where my heart should go. I'm just so confused about… things. I don't know what to do."
Cocking her head to the side, Ginny replied, "I don't understand. What's confusing? You'll find a man who will sweep you off your feet. I'm sure of it!"
Hermione choked on a laugh that lacked any humor. A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips as she glanced up at the younger girl. "You're missing the insinuation here, Gin."
It took her a moment, to consider the words Hermione had spoken and the meaning behind them, before it made sense to her. "Oh!" Ginny exclaimed, realization of what Hermione had been trying to say finally dawning on her. "Oh, Hermione, does anyone else know?"
"You're the only one I've told."
"Why me?" the redhead asked, her curiosity peaked.
The brunette began nibbling at her lip again. "Well, you see, for a while I've felt like I could really trust you. You've become one of my best friends, and I sort of pushed you aside because I was resentful of you being with Malfoy. But then it occurred to me that I might have been so hard on you because I was, well, jealous of him for being with you."
Unsure of what to say, Ginny hopped off her bed, pacing slowly in the small walkway. "Oh. Oh. Me, Hermione?" she asked, stopping to face her friend again. "It's just, you've always been like a sister to me. I never considered, I mean, I never thought that you would, did, think of me like that."
Hermione stood, placing her hands on Ginny's shoulders to halt her nervous behaviors. "Ginny, please stop. I don't want you to feel weird being around me because of this. I'm fine with being friends; I've come to terms with the fact that you don't think of me like that." She picked up her knapsack and began walking towards to door. "I hope that you feel better, Ginny. Goodnight."
She felt a pang in her chest as she watched her friend preparing to leave, something that told her that allowing Herione leave was a mistake. "Wait, Hermione!" Ginny called, just as Hermione had reached the door. "Don't – don't go."
The two girls walked to the center of the room, each of them with different emotions flowing rampantly through them as they neared. Hermione was filled with anticipation and relief, while Ginny was confused and completely uncertain of what she felt in regard to the older girl. But it didn't matter. They still reached the same point, the same conclusion.
In one fluid motion, Hermione's knapsack had been discarded onto the floor and both girls had threaded their arms around each other. Their lips collided, and immediately Ginny could sense the passion, the wanting. Draco had always made her feel wanted, but Hermione made her feel needed, almost as though her life depended on that moment, that kiss. It was intense and incredible and, for once, Ginny did not need to fight to gain control and she didn't have to worry about wandering hands or ulterior motives. Hermione was pure and Ginny could feel it in the kiss.
Reluctantly, Ginny and Hermione pulled back from one another, each girl instinctively knowing when it was appropriate for their kiss to end.
They stared at each other for a long time, still both filled to the brink with emotions that threatened to bubble over. Their silence was deafening and the tension was palpable, but their eyes remained locked.
It was Ginny who broke the silence. "Hermione, this doesn't – this doesn't mean that – that you and I –"
"I know," Hermione whispered, smiling softly at her friend. "But I think that we both needed it."
"I think so, too."
"Goodnight, Ginny." Hermione picked up her bag and left without any more fanfare.
Before Ginny settled into her bed, she took her emerald necklace and set it on the nightstand. Once she did enter her bed, she brought the covers up to her waist and touched her fingertips to her lips, which were still tingling with the memory of the intense moment shared with her friend. It occurred to her that she was more confused now than she had been before Hermione had come into her room, but at the very least, thoughts of Malfoy had been put on the backburner. In the end, she had got her sweet release, and now she could finally be at peace.
A/N: Written for the "I Kissed a Girl" challenge. Used three prompts: sweet, quill, and "I wish my brain had a map to tell me where my heart should go." Bonus points to anyone who was able to spot the Buffy (or Spike, actually) reference. :D.