Random thoughts on McDonald's characters.
If you're after a plot driven story. This probably isn't for you. Then again I am mocking McDonald's commercials. What did you expect!? Nevertheless hope you enjoy and I hope it doesn't sound like I pulled it out my ass too much.
A 24 year old man named Matthew sat watching television. He was visiting his parents. His father Gerald just came in from the room next door. It was 2 AM. Matthew had just come in from a night out with his friends.
"Hey son." He said "You just came home?"
"Yeh." Matthew responded.
"Whatcha watching?"
"Two and a half men." Matthew replied. "But it's just gone to the commercials."
"Ahhhh…McDonald's. You know believe it or not there is proof that Ronald Mcdonald isn't a pedophile, he does hang around with a police officer Big Mac, and I don't see him being arrested. And why do people find clowns creepy? It's just a man in makeup! Some phobias I just don't understand."
"Er….yeh." Matthew replied frowning.
"I also wonder why Hamburglar isn't a massive fat bastard from all the burgers he steals. I've seen him in commercials carrying enourmous plates of hamburgers. Hell by now he probably wouldn't be able to walk, making him easy to arrest. And I think he may be the good guy, saving kids from being fat."
"So you say." Replied Matthew. Matthew thought to himself "Is he gonna talk the whole way through the commercials?"
"And Birdie, huh...I wonder why she isn't deeply disturbed by the fact that at Mcdonald's they EAT birds, chicken nuggets, hint, hint? Birdie better stop hanging around with Ronald and friends or she may be next for the chop, chop!"
Matthew didn't respond. He was a generally polite person. He wasn't the kind of person who would tell people to shut up.
Gerald continued talking. "And Mayor McCheese and Big Mac, why aren't they disturbed that Ronald and his friends eat hamburgers, and are eating their kind. Then again I think they're cannibals. Mayor McCheese has actually been showen eating cheeseburgers in the commercials. I guess we should question the culture of burger people."
Matthew gritted his teeth. He was beginning to get annoyed.
Gerald kept talking. "And as for this ''McDonaldland'' they used to hang out in. Wow...Apple pie trees, hamburger patches, french fry bushes. Milkshake volcanoes. Wow, why everybody there isn't obese is beyond me. Why is there even a Mcdonald's restaurant there? There's free food stashed everywhere. Poor business, the restaurant will do, me thinks."
"Are you gonna keep talking the whole way through the commercials!?" Matthew spoke annoyed.
"Sheesh….sorry son. I just hate to see what you're learning from these commercials. Good night." Gerald went back to bed.
"I'm learning that I need my own T.V for my own room when I come here." Matthew mumbled quietly to himself.
THE END.