This is a part AU, part canon story. Suppose the show took place as is, but with the twist that Justin does, indeed, decide to go away to college. He actually chooses Dartmouth. Brian will encourage Justin to date around, but how will that end up for the two of them?

Paragraphs of the story that are in italics are per the series … events that happened during the show. The characters appear out of character as I saw fit for the situation. I tried to keep the characters as close to original as possible.

All characters are owned by Cowlip and Showtime.

Go Your Own Way

Loving you isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things that I feel?
If I could maybe I'd give you my world
How can I when you won't take it from me?

You can go your own way! Go your own way.
You can call it another lonely day, another lonely day.
You can go your own way! Go your own way.

Tell me why everything turned around?
Packing up, shacking up's all you wanna do.
If I could, baby I'd give you my world.
Open up, everything's waiting for you.

You can go your own way! Go your own way.
You can call it another lonely day, another lonely day.
You can go your own way! Go your own way. "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac

College advice: April 2001

Justin had been accepted at Dartmouth and his father was pushing him to get a business degree, although the young man was also accepted at Pittsburgh Institute for Fine Arts and was interested in studying art. Then Justin found out that his parents were getting a divorce and he blamed himself. He reconsidered PIFA for Dartmouth. Brian confronted Justin at Babylon and told him that going to Dartmouth just to please his parents was fucked up. He told Justin that he should do what HE wants.

Justin researched Dartmouth again and the degrees available. He decided to study in the Film & Media Studies department, going for a degree that he could apply towards a job in television or video production. It would still involve art, but with more of a business minded bend to it. His father agreed to Justin's choice as being a more practical application of his artistic interests. The acceptance letter was sent in and plans were made for Justin to attend in the fall.

Prom: June 2001

Justin attended his senior prom with Daphne as his date. Brian surprised him by showing up and dancing with him. After the 'ridiculously romantic' dance and kiss goodnight, Justin was walking through the parking garage when Chris Hobbes came up behind him and hit him with a baseball bat. Justin was in a coma for two weeks. Brian visited the hospital every night to stand vigil over his young friend, although Justin never knew he was there. After Justin recovered enough to return home, his mom Jennifer asked Brian to stay away from him. But, after a while, Jennifer could see that the only way that Justin would recover was if he was to be with Brian. Justin moved back in with Brian and they worked together on his recovery.

Community College: August 2001

Because Justin was still undergoing physical therapy and recovering from his attack, the decision was made that he should take his first few college courses at a community college. He continued to live with Brian, who often drove him to and from school. The courses would all transfer to Dartmouth. Plans were still in place for Justin to attend Dartmouth in the January 'Winter term'.

New Years' Eve: 12/31/2001

Brian and Justin went to Babylon to ring in the New Year. The music was going thumpa thumpa and the drinks were flowing. Brian knew that this would be the last time that he'd be seeing Justin for a while as the young man was going off to college. It was a celebration of the New Year and a sendoff for Justin.

Michael said, "Justin, I have a little going away gift for you. It's a photo I took." He handed the photo to Justin. It was of his favorite childhood teddy bear, Gus, being held by someone with hazel eyes and a cowry bracelet. Brian's eyes just peered over the top of the bear's head.

"It's Gus, and Brian!" When did you take this?

"I was with Brian when he was picking you up for therapy that one time. We were waiting for you to get out of the shower and he saw the Gus in the closet. He was clowning with it and I took this picture with my phone."

"It's great. I love it. Thanks." He gave Michael a hug. "I see something in this picture I still like to cuddle with." Justin gave Brian a sideways glance.

"You must be talking about the bear. I don't cuddle." Brian said while setting his beer on the bar.

"You do so. You do so….." Justin tickled him mercilessly, making him laugh. The others were chuckling at their exchange. They knew that Brian was going to miss Justin. It wasn't going to be the same without the young blond around – he'd really become one of the gang.

After the evening's festivities were over, they returned to the loft. Brian had been thinking about some advice for his young friend. "Now that you're going off to college, I think it's important that you know that this is your time to be your own man, go your own way."

"Yeah, I know."

"You have to prove yourself to yourself as well as everybody else. It's going to be tough being away from friends and family, but you can do it. You're smart and resourceful. You'll land on your feet. You always do."

"OK. Thanks. I hope to do well."

"And date a hundred guys. Get a boyfriend or two or twenty. Fuck everything that moves. When I was in college I was getting ass all of the time. You should do the same. Just be sure to be safe."

"Yeah, OK. I'm always safe."

"When you come home, if I'm around and you're unattached maybe we'll hook up again. But you know that I'm not going to be sitting at home waiting for you to return."

"I know that, Brian. It's not you."

Brian put his hands on Justin's shoulders. "Another thing, when you're back for breaks and summers I think you should stay with your mom. I had no problem taking you in when you were rehabbing, and I kind of liked having you live here, too. But, now that you're off to school I'm going to go back to living alone, and with you being a college man we need to go back to living our own lives. Do you understand?"

"I get you. I appreciate that you've helped me these last few months, but I respect that you are really a solitary guy and I can't keep bouncing back here."

"I still want to talk to you and keep in touch. I want to be sure you make us all proud. I'm sure you will."

"Thanks, Brian. I'll phone or e-mail, keep in contact."

Brian pulled Justin in for a hug and kissed him. "I'm happy for you that you have this opportunity. Now's your chance to get out there and knock 'em dead. OK?"

"I'm going to miss you, Brian."

"Don't think of me. Concentrate on your future."

"Well, at least I have you here tonight, right? Happy New Year, Brian."

"Happy New Year."

They stared into each other's eyes, looking, admiring, appreciating, missing already but not saying it. Justin was looking for a glimpse that Brian will truly miss him, like he will truly miss Brian. He didn't care what Brian said or thought, Brian would always hold a special place in his heart… the largest part, if he was honest with himself. He planned to experience college as best as he could, not knowing what the future held, but just relishing the fact that he had one last time to show Brian how he felt.

Brian didn't want to say anything to Justin that might give him false hope, he never made promises he couldn't keep. And knowing Justin was going to college, he remembered his college days well, and knowing Justin's energy, eagerness to experience everything, and his passion in everything he does, including in the bedroom, he didn't want to hold Justin back at all. So he told Justin everything he could without saying a word. Brian took a steady breath to hide his emotions and grabbed and kissed Justin fiercely, tongue demanding entrance. Justin sensed and shared his need, willingly opened and held Brian as close as possible while sucking in Brian's tongue. Both men moaning at the taste, the need, the heat.

Brian began walking Justin over to the sofa, it was the closest surface, he didn't think he could make it to the bed for their first time tonight… their first good-bye fuck. Both men sensing the urgency consuming them stripped each other in record time. Brian sheathing and lubing his cock as Justin grabbed the lube and prepared himself. Brian groaned at the sight of Justin preparing himself, he pulled Justin's hand away and entered Justin's tight hot ass in one swift move.

Justin moaned, groaned and panted as Brian pounded into him, harder than he could remember him ever pounding before, like he was claiming him. Not that it was necessary; Justin would always remember him. Both of them lost in sensation and heat and passion, both unknowingly thinking back to their first time, "I want you to always remember this, so that no matter who you're ever with, I'll always be there." Justin reached up to pull Brian's mouth to his, demanding entrance to Brian's mouth now. They kissed hard, until they couldn't breathe, and still kept kissing, unable to get enough, to be close enough. Justin was overcome with Brian tongue fucking his mouth while his beautiful cock was fucking his ass, his own cock caught between them. He came, screaming Brian's name. His anal muscles contracting around Brian's cock, pulling his orgasm out of him, biting his tongue to prevent him from yelling out Justin's name.

They both collapsed on the sofa, wrapped around each other, too exhausted to sleep, for the moment. Brian eventually pulled out and threw away the condom, then dragged Justin up to the bed, where they continued their many rounds of farewell fucking… Justin would look back on that some day and call it love making, but not right now. He couldn't call it that right now, not knowing if he would ever be in Brian's bed again.