Prologue
You may gain nourishment from sources beyond food and water. You may gain it from within your mind and your mind alone. But that will only keep the body ticking. That will only make it move and do it's choirs. This is nothing compared to the choirs of our mind. Of our will. Of our choices. Of our thoughts. They shape us and without them, should the body suffice, the mind will not. Since in the end, what else can separate a man from a rabid animal?
The World Is Wast, Tang Xu
Spirit world. Both the state of mind and a state of being, a traverse beyond the known world, where creatures that exist despite logic dwell, occupied with their tasks of which non seem to bare significance. And amongst it all she, the avatar, the keeper of peace and balance. She visited it quite often in the recent days, mostly through her mind, since her body was needed elsewhere. Constantly needed elsewhere. To help. To serve. And at times, at more pleasing times, to keep someone company.
Still, the leisure time, the so called vacations were long over. And reality struck back. She gazed within the numerous aspects of the past, looking at them and revising each and every single one of them, pondering what would happen if some of the events would play off differently. Obviously, her thoughts and ideas were the only thing she could obtain, as there was no way for her to change the past, despite being the bender of all the elements.
At this very moment, she gazed at the doings of Kuvira, as she was somewhat curious to her. She, much like Zaheer, wasn't openly evil. She believed in something grander, even if the thoughts within her head got misplaced swiftly. As she looked at her coming to power, how she neglected her lover, how she committed everything to obtain one single solitary goal, how it eventually ended, over and over again, she pondered what she would do if she would be the one that picked the wrong side. Or, not necessary the wrong side, but the wrong idea of how to obtain her goal. Would there be anyone to stop her, should she do that? Should she ask anyone for forgiveness after that? Should she be forgiven? And for that matter, would Kuvira were forgiven, should she ask for it? She openly accepted her punishment. But was there another way perhaps, for this misguided being? As the thoughts swirled within her head, she could hear someone closing by, making slow but steady footsteps within the solitude of grass.
"Revising your past I see? And those tangled within your thick web?" The voice was low, smooth, familiar. Too familiar. "It hardly will change a thing, young avatar Korra."
She leaned slightly, only to see a familiar frame. A man, covered from the top of his head to the very toes, with a white mask, endlessly locked in the same stale expression. It was a while since she thought about him. It was a while since she tried to recap his name. Amon. And yet it was so fitting to see him, within this realm beyond realms. Within this place, which had no particular place to begin with. He began her struggle of doubts and fears. It would be fitting that he appeared in the end.
"You think you are more mature now, don't you? More than you were?" He shrugged, as he looked at her shorter hair. The eye sockets held only void within them. "What does the past whispers to you, young avatar? Do you see anything worth holding onto? Or will you rush head on, like you always did, right into the unknown?"
He gazed at what she saw. An image of a certain metal bender with a long, black ponytail, dressed in a green outfit with a mixture of steel. A curious being, caught within her own ideas and within her own narrow mind, striving for things which were unobtainable. Much like himself.
"Ah. Wondering about the girl that quickly became a woman, and a woman that quickly became a living statue, whom you disposed of?" He chuckled. "Oh, no, not disposed of, as apparently that one was a bit closer to your heart." He leaned right over her shoulder. "I saw what Zaheer did to your mind. A puzzling notion to think about it, when I saw you struggle over the things that where. The very same person who never thought about what she will do with herself the very next day."
He began to mock her, and his mockery was somewhat effective. After all, she above all else knew, that he was in fact telling the truth, only truth. Which, hurt at times.
"Who never thought about what responsibility she bared. Who always claimed she did, but mostly to obtain the affection of others. Are you really that much better than the others, young avatar? You saw what happened to the Great Uniter. Will you be the next one to be put down?"
Before she could speak even further, she smacked her fist into the mask and jumped forward, preparing herself in a battle pose. The figurine before her simply straightened up, looking at her with the same expressionless glare.
"I do not need an image from the past to tell me what's wrong or right." She said, as she calmed down a bit. Whatever he wanted, she should remain calm. "Especially your image."
"I linger, young avatar." He neglected her words, and continued his own lecturing. "And I'm ashamed about the things in your head. Ashamed by your thoughts. You think of forgiveness for those who you somewhat sympathize with." He shrugged indifferently. "But not those whom you simply despise and do not understand."
"Kuvira or Zaheer hardly sympathized with me."
"They weren't." He placed his fingers over his cheek, and tapped loudly. "They were. You struck truce with both of them. And in the end, that hardly matters as well. Young avatar, I wanted to erase you. But the more I look at you, the more it seems, that you should remain." She could 'hear' his smile. "You will be like us."
That caught her attention in full, even though those were just simple words. She hardly wanted to encounter this element of the past, but since she was already making a wish of things she regretted from the things that were, she could as well encounter this particular being.
"Okay, what do you want..." She searched the depths of her mind to find one, single word, forgotten by the world. "...Noahak."
"Charming name." His hoarse voice chuckled "But Noahak isn't here anymore." The void within the eyes flicked. "Just me."
"But that's the same." She shook her head. "You are him, he is you."
"Oh no, no, no, you got it all wrong, young avatar." He took a step closer. "Where one was just flesh and blood, Amon is something beyond. An idea. Amon never disappeared. You just neglected him. Briefly. But he planted his seed."
Was that the case, she pondered. She remembered what he did to her. But it was a while, and numerous others wanted to do similar things – shape the world under their dictate. And they did it on a larger scale. It was easy to forget about him. It was easy to forget fear he placed in her heart.
"So. Like a spirit." She rose her arms as her body twitched in anticipation. "Spirits can be cleansed you know."
"Perhaps. But that won't be necessary."
She caught a deep breath. For some reason she knew this whole chit-chat won't give her any kind of answers, as there were non questions that rose up to this point. At least not by the one before her. But since she wanted to gave him a chance to speak up for himself, she decided to ask.
"Then why do you pester me."
"Just gazing at the things you have been through. Gazing and reflecting over it, should you decide to."
And then, out of nowhere, he attacked. Korra should have guessed that. She tried to calm the spirit before her, but that presented to be futile. Therefore, the only logical thing to do, was to call forth the elements she wielded. Fire sprouting from her hands blazed all around their silhouettes. The fields, so rich and so full of life, sprouted water from within their soil, with a mixture of dirt and stones. That hardly stopped him from coming forth at her. The air she blew from her palms also presented to be futile. And finally, he stopped her with a gesture of his hand.
"Time shall come when someone will ask you for something more meaningful than just to put up a fight." He flicked his fingers, as she could felt each and every single move he made inside of her chest. "Someone will ask you for help beyond your capability. And what you'll do then, young avatar? You won't bend the elements to change someone's nature, nor you will bend the elements to change someone's mind."
He began to toy with her body, sending it back and forth. She knew he was only playing with her, and within that, there was a purpose. But what kind of purpose.
"Your will is impressive." He rose his hand once again, and her chest seemed to almost implode, almost as if a needle landed right in the center of it and began to grow bigger and bigger. "But you forgot who I am." He shook his head. "Whom I were, and what my name meant."
She could feel the stretching of her muscles deep inside her frame. He reached them to the point of taring them apart, one by one. And yet she knew non of this was real. After all, she was here only partially. Her body still remained within the realms of a different world. Therefore, she choose to wait and see. To observe, to listen, despite the imaginary pain.
"There will come the time, where you will be close to loosing everything. Anything. All of it. But not by your miraculous differences, that puts you above all else. No. It will all come with a choice of the right words and thoughts." The pain got more and more unbearable. "And then I wonder, young avatar Korra, will you withstand it? Or will you become the very thing you constantly hunted. The one that shaped the world so much, that needs to be put down?"
The pain stopped almost instantly, as her body felt flat onto the ground. As she gazed within the endless spiritual sky, the mask leaned before her, with the empty hollows searching for something within her eyes.
"But I'm not what you should be afraid." There was some scent of indescribable satisfaction within his voice. "You can always come to me. For you have become a part of me. As much as I've became a part of you. Reflect on that, young avatar." The void almost dripped from the holes. "And should you require, come for my aid. Because we're alike. And in the end, we will end alike."
###
She tried to catch her breath as soon as her eyes finally opened. And there she was, back in her cozy room, within the wooden solitude of the Air Temple. The breeze slowly poured into the wide open window, managing to give her some refreshment over her sweated forehead.
A vision. A dream. Or more like a nightmare. She hardly knew what that was about. The memory of Amon hardly ever appeared to her nowadays. She at times remembered how frightened she was. But those days were long over, and with the likes of Vaatu, the Red Lotus and Kuvira, the blood bender hardly seemed like something she needed to care about at this very point in time.
A bad dream. A long forgotten story. A memory that should be sheltered but not thought about. That's what it was. Only thing that it was. She stretched her back and hands, as a snapping sound echoed throughout the room. Strength never fully left this body, despite all the odds. She looked at the window and smiled, seeing as the sunset was soon to came.
"No point in making one nightmare ruin my day." She yawned. "Zaheer's poison already occupied my mind long enough."
She said to herself, as she decided to go outside. As if in response, the wind once again blew through, smudging her dark skin. Despite all that, it seemed like it shall be a pleasing day. Dreams are just dreams. And the past is just that – past.