P
Peeta is positive the pain he felt that awful day is never going to be surpassed in his lifetime. Sure, it hurt when the end of his mother's rolling pin collided with the side of his face, but the worst part, the saddest moment in his entire life, was seeing Katniss, the girl he had loved for the better part of his existence, sitting there in the pouring rain, ready to give up. Starring through the downpour at her frail body and defeated eyes, he fears that if he doesn't do something, she will shrivel up and die right there in front of him. The thought alone shakes him to the core. And that night, lying awake in his room, unable to sleep, all he can think is that he should have done more than toss her a few lousy loaves of burnt bread.
K
Katniss notices him more often than she would like to admit. They have never talked officially, but ever since that rainy day, she catches herself keeping tabs on him. It's weird, how much she knows about "the Boy with the Bread" as she has come to know him as. How he came in second in the school wrestling tournament, losing only to his older brother. How he can lift 100-pound bags of flour with ease. How his paintings are always the ones displayed outside the art classroom. How bright his smile is, lighting up his entire face, always so happy and cheerful. How he seems to be one of the few people in District 12 who is actually living his life and not just going through the motions, surviving, in the way that she must ever since the explosion that blew her beloved father to bits.
P
Some might call his infatuation with her shallow. Seeing as they have never shared a conversation, he must only like her for her appearance, right? But in his heart, he knows it is so much more than that. He admires her strength, her determination, her will to fight for the people she cares about. He acknowledges that it is absolutely ludicrous, but somewhere in the very back of his mind, a tiny shard of hope wonders if maybe, just maybe, he might someday be one of those people. When he has these thoughts, however, the pragmatic side of him snorts, "Like hell she'll love you, Peeta. She probably doesn't even know you exist." The picture of a lovesick teenager, he traces her name into the dough he is in charge of making every morning, and then proceeds to quickly knead away the evidence.
He stares after her everyday as she leaves school, with her long, confident steps, her dark brown braid swinging. And he can't help but think to himself that he's never had the courage to do more than watch her walk away.
K
Katniss can feel his eyes on her back in History, the only class they have together. Occasionally, she casts a cautious glance towards him, her grey eyes meeting his turquoise ones. Each time, without fail, his eyes immediately dart elsewhere, a rosy blush tinting his otherwise fair cheeks. Out of all the people in the world, she thinks he confuses her the most.
P
Katniss catches him starring often, but somehow, he can't bring himself to stop. He knows she probably thinks he's some sort of stalker by now. Which, he thinks sheepishly to himself, he sort of is.
Over the years, he's gotten quite skilled in just happening to be at the front of the store when she stops by to trade with his father or to look at the intricate cakes with Prim. He is delighted by Prim's elation as she points to the beautiful sweeps and swirls of the colorful cakes he has had a part in creating. He only wishes he can one day make Katniss smile in the easy, carefree way Prim does.
K
Each time Prim drags her to the bakery windows to look at the cakes on display, Katniss manages to catch a few glimpses of Peeta, sweeping in front of the ovens or working behind the cash register. She knows to look when he isn't paying attention, though. She may not be interested in boys, but she isn't blind or deaf. She hears the whispered words in the hallway about the youngest of the baker's sons. The last she needs is for Peeta to think that she is just another one of the giggling girls ogling over his blond curls and strong arms. Because really, she isn't. It's just that she will never forget the sheer selflessness and kindness of what Peeta did. She will never be able to shake the strange connection she feels between herself and the fair-haired boy who gave her both bread and hope when no one else had bothered.
She must be going crazy, because about three weeks before the reaping, she thinks she sees him outside her house, standing a good 25 yards from her front door, his golden hair standing out in stark contrast to the otherwise gray and coal-dust covered Seam. She looks back a second later and he's gone, or more likely, she thinks to herself, he wasn't ever there in the first place. Why would he come to see her? They aren't friends. She never so much as said "thank you" after he saved her life. Saved Prim's life. She shakes her head, lamenting her new-found insanity and returns to the rabbit she is skinning.
P
After 11 long years, of careful watching and daydreaming, Peeta decides that it is high time he face his stupid fears and just talk to Katniss. He spends weeks preparing for the big day, mentally practicing what he's going to say, even icing the letter "K" on a flower-shaped cookie he plans to give her. On the day he's picked, Peeta walks to her house directly after school, wiping his sweaty palms on the sides of his pants, and repeating to himself over and over again; she's just a girl, Mellark, just a girl.He's halfway there when he realizes he forgot to bring the cookie. Oh well, he thinks, I'm doing this, baked goods or not.He is actually pretty close to her front porch when she looks up and sees him, her grey eyes confused, dark eyebrows arching. But instead of looking scared, to Peeta, she looks alert, ready to pounce like the hunter she is. Oh god, he thinks, what if she really does see me as one of those stalker/serial killer types? One pull of her arrow and I'm—he doesn't let himself finish the thought, sprinting away as if he's seen an angry Peacekeeper or a tracker-jacker nest and not the girl he loves.
It isn't until he's reached town and the bakery, completely "safe," that he realizes how ridiculous he is.
K
When her sister's name is called at the reaping of the 74th annual Hunger Games, her heart drops to her stomach. Without a moment's hesitation, Katniss is up and screaming "I volunteer!" vowing to save the only person in this world whom she knows she loves.
P
Upon hearing the words "Primrose Everdeen" tumble out of Effie Trinket's mouth, all that goes through Peeta's mind is a string of curse words he knows his mother would smack him silly for just saying a fourth of. He knows what is happening next, but that doesn't ease the awful feeling in his heart that manifests when Katniss volunteers to take Prim's place a few seconds later.
K
Katniss hears Effie say "Peeta Mellark" after picking from the boys' bowl, but thinks she must be hearing things after the events of the last minute and a half. Because she knows the world they live in is cruel, but it wouldn't be so awful as to reap both Prim andthe Boy with the Bread, would it?
P
He realizes how messed up he is when, moments later, shaking hands with Katniss, all he can think about is how the sky-blue fabric of her dress brings out her smokey-gray eyes and how the braids of her elaborate just-for-the-reaping hairdo frame her face perfectly. Here they are, being sentenced to their deaths, and his entire focus is on her beauty.
It doesn't even dawn on him until much later that, as tributes, they are going to be expected to kill one another in the arena. He makes up his mind. If the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games is going to be from District 12, it is not going to be him.
He may not know Katniss very well personally, but from what he has observed, her life is definitely worth saving.
K
It doesn't fully sink in that Peeta has been reaped until he is up there on the stage shaking her hand. Unlike her hands, which she knows must be sweaty and shaky despite her calm semblance, his are warm and steady, as if he is already trying to reassure her
She drinks him in, really looks at him up close for the first time. She takes in the ashy blonde hair that falls over his forehead, the long eyelashes that frame his sky-blue eyes, and the tiny scar under his right eye that she would have mistaken as a mole or a birthmark if she didn't know better. But the ghost of the starving 11-year old girl inside of her insists he got that mark in the beating he took from his witch of a mother on that stormy day so many years ago.
And in that instant, she realizes she is doomed, that she's not coming back to District 12, to her mother and Prim, to Gale. There can only be one winner in the Games, and there is no way she can hurt the Boy with the Bread.