Hoshi: Hey there, boys and girls!
Kage: Despite the rather large amount of Bleach fics on our computer, this is the first one we've ever finished.
Hoshi: Yeah, and this one's rather long. So much that we broke it into three chapters for your reading enjoyment.
Kage: PFFFT! Mostly so your brains aren't broken.
Hoshi: Also, we realized that the break lines that appear on our Word don't appear on this site, so instead of flipping scenes in a story, it goes right to the next ones, making them look shoved together awkwardly.
Kage: We'll go through and fix this in our longer stories, but for now, you should see some patterns of X's in the scene flips.
Hoshi: Please enjoy this vouyeristic yet fluffy Bleach fic!
X x X x X x X x X
Ichigo burst through the door of his home, a scowl on his face and his book bag clenched tightly in his right fist. He hardly acknowledged his younger sisters' greetings as he walked in. Instead, he gave them an uninterested grunt and continued on without sparing a glance. At this, his father immediately jumped in front of him.
"IIIIICHIGOOOO!" He bellowed. "WELCOME HOME, MY DEAR SO – ACK!"
The fiery-haired teen had grabbed him around the throat, giving him a glare that could make Grimmjow wince.
"I'm not in the mood," He hissed through clenched teeth.
Promptly, he dropped the man and walked into his room, taking care to slam the door shut. As he gasped for air, Mr. Kurosaki heard the door lock click.
"Hmm…Ichigo's locked himself in his room again." He sat down at the table with his daughters. "This is worrying…very worrying."
Karin just rolled her eyes, scratching her chin with her pencil. "Maybe he's just chemically stressed. He is a teenager after all."
A flash appeared in Mr. Kurosaki's eye. "THAT MUST BE IT!" He leapt onto the table, sporting a winning smile. "Poor Ichigo-kun is having teenager problems! In other words, he must be having problems in his pants!" He sighed dramatically. "My poor, horny son…"
Karin punched him in the face, knocking him clear through the opposite wall. "Don't talk about things like that at the table."
Meanwhile, Ichigo was sitting on his bed, totally oblivious to the noise. His nails dug into the soft fabric of his mattress as he glared holes into the wall. A snarl escaped him as he ground his teeth. He was supremely pissed.
"Hey, why the long face, Ichigo-san?" Kon asked, appearing from nowhere in his window. "You look like you have a ten foot pole up your…" He caught sight of the teen's livid expression. "U-uh…never mind."
"Get out of here Kon, I'm not in a good mood," Ichigo snapped.
The stuffed lion hopped on the bed next to him. "Why? Is it your dad? I mean, he is infuriating, but you've never been this annoyed with him before."
"It's not Dad!" Ichigo shouted, a little too on edge.
"Oh?" Kon looked curious. He scooted closer to Ichigo. "Then what is it? School? Sports? Emotional stress?" He got a sly look. "Physical stress?"
Ichigo roughly grabbed his head, nearly crushing it in his fist. "I thought I told you to leave. Let me brood in peace."
"MMPH!" Kon managed to break free, falling down onto the hardwood floor. "Alright, yeesh. I'll get out of here."
Ichigo didn't watch him jump out of the window, but he took care to shut it and lock it once he was gone.
"Stupid Kon," He snarled.
He lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The light fixture was slightly cracked from Renji's most recent visit. Ichigo reflected on it, almost letting a chuckle escape him. However, he wasn't in the mood to laugh. Renji wasn't who he wanted to think about right now. His mind was practically glued to an entirely different individual. Someone strong-willed, but quiet. Determined, but soft and almost gullible at times. At first, he came off as a theatrical airhead with girly hobbies. But after fighting alongside him and dealing with him at school for almost a year, the two of them could be considered friends. Maybe even best friends. The last of the Quincys and probably the most skilled archer in Japan, it was Ishida Uryu that Ichigo couldn't get out of his head. The fire-haired teen couldn't understand it. He'd known Uryu for months now. Why was it just recently that he was becoming so flustered with him? Well, maybe it wasn't recently. Though he'd never admit it, he had been a bit taken with Uryu since they'd first met. The younger boy just had some air about him…something that lit a fire in Ichigo's stomach. It was that bizarre feeling that made you want to punch someone and kiss them at the same time. He was just so antagonizing in his own special way. When Ichigo was ready to panic and practically wet his pants, Uryu managed to stay level-headed, and was excellent at getting them out of sticky situations. He was about a hundred times smarter than Ichigo, and better with his hands at almost everything (excluding sword fighting, but that was obvious). In a way, he both envied and admired the younger teen.
However, over time, silent admiration worked its way up to affection. Then adoration. Then…arousal. For nearly two weeks now, Ichigo would be talking to Uryu and randomly pull an erection. It wasn't because he was fantasizing (though that was sometimes at fault), but merely because he was in Uryu's presence. Even while he was having a normal conversation, the teen would notice things about the Quincy that would make his face flush. He'd notice how soft and plump the younger boy's lips looked, or how smart and calculating his eyes seemed. Or if he let his eyes trail off, how thin and appealing his body was. He had picked up a recent habit of letting his eyes travel down to Uryu's ass when he was walking behind him. This was extremely counterproductive in his quest to keep Uryu from finding out about his secret crush on him, as it usually made him erect. But the boy had such a fine ass! It was so smooth and tight looking. On multiple occasions, Ichigo had to stop himself as he was about to reach out and grab it.
To his dismay, the teen felt his jeans starting to tighten as he pondered. Since he wasn't at school, he didn't have to casually reach into his pocket and hold it down until it went away. Instead, he decided to feed his desires and let his mind run free, allowing it to fantasize anything that it wished to. The image flashed into his mind of Uryu wearing fake cat ears and a tail, sprawled out naked on Ichigo's bed. A soft blush was forming on his cheeks, making him look nothing short of delectable. He gave the older teen a helpless look before uttering, "Please be gentle with me, Ichigo-chan".
"Ggh…" Ichigo lurched forward involuntarily, feeling his jeans grow even tighter. To his horror, fluid had started to leak out of his erection, soaking into his boxers. "Shit. Karin will see that when she does the laundry. I'll have to throw these out later."
He shakily got to his feet, annoyed at the unpleasant stretching of his jeans against his arousal. He needed to relieve himself. Though if he tried to do it in his room, Rukia or Kon could pop in at some random time and catch him in the middle of it. With a snarl, he grabbed a random book and covered himself up, tentatively peering out of his door. Deciding that no one was outside, he quietly made his way to the bathroom.
"IIIIICHIGOOOOO!"
"Fuck," The teen muttered.
Mr. Kurosaki landed in front of him, his hands behind his back. "Ichigo-kun, I found out about your little problem."
The teen's face got red with shock and terror. "Y-you have?"
"Of course! You had to expect me to catch on sooner or later!" Mr. Kurosaki shook his finger at him. "Come here son, I have something to give you."
Ichigo didn't have time to protest as the man grabbed him around the wrist, pulling him back into his bedroom.
"What do you want, dad?" Ichigo snapped, wrenching his hand away.
"Son, I know about your little problem, and I just want to tell you it's perfectly natural for a boy your age! In fact, I've found you some things that could help you out!"
Ichigo merely blinked. "What did you get me?"
With a proud grin, Mr. Kurosaki pulled from behind him a box stacked high with magazines, each labeled XXX with pictures of half-naked girls on them.
"My porn collection of course!" He replied, grinning even wider. "Now you see, porn is a very refined kind of magazine in that - !"
Ichigo proceeded to knock the box out of his hands, steam billowing from his nostrils like an angry bull. "I don't need dirty magazines, dad. I'm disturbed to know you even have a porn collection."
"All great men have porn collections, son!" Mr. Kurosaki pressed. "And I really think you should take a look at these!"
Too worn out to fight, Ichigo gave him an exasperated sigh. "Whatever. I'll check them out later."
Mr. Kurosaki left feeling pleased with himself while Ichigo proceeded to stuff the box into a corner in the back of his closet. He managed to jam them in the top shelf next to a pair of old sneakers and his skateboard from when he was a kid. He had no idea why those things were still taking up space in his cupboard, but he'd never gotten around to throwing them out. He heaved another sigh and flopped on his bed, trying to get images of Uryu out of his mind.
"So how'd your expedition go dad?" Karin inquired, scribbling on her homework sheet.
"Phenomenal! Impeccable! It couldn't have gone better!"
Karin rolled her eyes at his reply. "Dad, you're an idiot. Ichigo is too modest and shy to read porn. And having him keep it in his room is an insult to his character." She got up. "If you want him to learn so bad, why don't you see if you can find a decent instructional video? I'm sure that would be of at least a little help to him."
Mr. Kurosaki's jaw was on the floor as he watched his elder daughter leave the room. After a few moments of stunned silence, he burst into motivated tears.
"You're absolutely right, Karin-chan! My poor Ichigo feels uncomfortable with porn! I should get him something more educational and modest!"
Yuzu watched her father dash out the door and to a department store, sighing. "Dad's gonna go broke if he keeps going on expeditions like this."
X x X x X x X x X
"Ichigo-kun?" Karin asked quietly. She crept down the hall, a video tape in her hands. "I have something that dad wanted me to give you."
A choked sound caught her attention as she passed the bathroom. She stopped to hear heated panting coming from behind the door. Curious, she pressed her ear to the wood. Ichigo's voice was clearly recognizable as he whimpered quietly to himself.
"Ahh…Uryu…" He pumped his erection, eyes tightly shut. "Right there, Uryu-kun."
Karin strained her brain to think of who Uryu could be. Was it some famous movie star, or…? Suddenly, it hit her. She'd heard Ichigo call one of his friends Uryu before. It was that boy with the glasses! The black-haired boy! She pulled away, in total shock. Her older brother was jerking himself off to a boy?
"Mmm…ahh…"
A little disturbed, Karin left without giving the tape to Ichigo. Instead, she took it up to her room and plopped on her bed. Suddenly, her video camera caught her eye. She grabbed it off its shelf, popping the cassette out of it. Experimentally, she took the cassette out of the tape in her hands and pushed it into the slot on her camera. It fit.
"I think I know how I can make this video more educational for Ichigo-kun," She thought.
X x X x X x X x X
It was late at night when Uryu finally got home. With errands for Mr. Urahara and working with the Handicrafts club taking up his schedule, he barely had time for homework. He sighed, dropping his bag by the sofa.
"I'll work on that later," He said to no one. "I want a shower first."
Karin's ears perked up at this. She shifted around to the back of the house, looking in the windows to see where the bathroom was. The closest she could get was the window in Uryu's room. As sneakily as she could, she climbed in and snuck into the adjacent bathroom. Uryu was still in the living room, so she had a few precious minutes to stash her video camera. Frantically, she looked around. The cupboards weren't facing the shower, and there was no way she could put it directly in the shower without it being noticed or ruined. Suddenly, a pile of towels caught her eye. They were resting on the back of the toilet, right next to the shower. She crept over to it, judging the angle of the towels. If she stuffed her camera into one, it'd have a perfect view of Uryu! But she would need to do it so he wouldn't notice. Carefully, she slid the camera in the towel second from the bottom, letting the lens poke out just enough to tape. She pressed the record button and smoothed the towels out as best she could. However, just as she was about to leave she noticed another problem. If Uryu closed his curtain all the way, he would be covered up. Thinking quickly, she grabbed some toilet paper and rolled it into a tight wad, jamming it into the end hook on the shower curtain. Hearing Uryu's voice nearby, she darted out of the room and jumped out the window, bolting back to her house. In the back of her mind, she made a note to go back and get her camera when everyone was sound asleep. Also, she made a note to beat up Ichigo for making her pity him enough to do this.
X x X x X x X x X
Kage: Because we're nice, and this fic really isn't worth dragging out, we're putting up all three chapters in one go.
Hoshi: You're welcome. -narrows eyes-
Kage: Yeah, you'd better like us for this.
Hoshi: Or not. XD
Kage: Please review, you guys! We were so happy with the overload of reviews we've been getting recently!
Hoshi: So much so that we've been adding to fanfics left and right! We never would have finished this one if it hadn't been for you!
Kage: *throws stickers to the readers* Thanks so much!