It's hard to go from home school to high school. Everyone already knows each other and you're just this weirdo outsider that doesn't have a single foothold on the ground. Your people skills are probably a little rusty because you've never been around that many folks your own age at once, and even the education you've had is on a different course because you've been taking classes at home. What makes it even worse is when you start halfway through freshman year, because everyone has settled in already and you're even more of a blatant outcast. That's how it was for Castiel, and if his previous life of home schooling didn't make him awkward enough, his strange name certainly finished the job.
"Castiel," two girls behind him were snickering amongst themselves. "I think Asstiel is better."
"Yeah, yeah, definitely. Hey, Asstiel!"
Cas turned around and saw the one girl, who had a sort of fat face but a thin body and straight dark hair, sneering at him with a pencil pointed his way.
"It's Castiel," Cas corrected.
"No, it's Asstiel now," the girl continued with a smirk.
"I would prefer it if you pronounced my name correctly," said Cas. "Or you can call me Cas."
Now both girls started to laugh and they really laughed. The redheaded friend chortled and snorted while the first girl's mouth opened wide with a cackle. "ASS!" they said in unison.
"You're Ass now," the redhead said, clicking her tongue. "Poor little Ass."
"Girls?" The teacher interrupted. He started coming down their row. "It couldn't possibly hurt you to pay a little more attention, could it?"
"Sorry Mr. Crowley," the fat faced girl said.
"Yeah, sorry."
"That's better," Mr. Crowley said as he headed back up towards the front of the class.
"Ass, you got lucky," the redhead whispered. Cas looked down at his notebook and swallowed hard.
But sweet relief was in sight and soon the bell rang. Cas put everything back into his backpack, slung it over his shoulder and shuffled out of there as soon as he could. The hordes of teenagers, like clumsy buffalo being shoved down a narrow hall, picked Cas up and carried him away to his lunch period. He really didn't want to be around anybody so he ate his lunch outside. There he could watch the seniors going to their cars under a bright, powder blue sky. Then as he was stooped on the curb, someone came over to him and sat down.
"Hey," a shy voice said. Cas looked up in surprise. There was an Asian guy there who he hadn't seen before. "I'm Kevin."
"Um, Castiel. That is my name, however you may refer to me as Cas if that is easier. I prefer it, actually."
"Oh, okay," said Kevin. He hesitated a bit but smiled. "I like your name. It's very unique."
"Thank you."
"So did you just move here or something?"
"No. My mother had been home schooling me, but she has had to return to the workforce unexpectedly."
"I see. Sorry, that must suck."
"I suppose it does."
"Okay, so people are saying weird stuff about you, but I wanted to see if it was true."
Cas looked up from his sandwich and raised his eyebrows. "Weird stuff? Like what?"
"Well," Kevin began, wincing cutely. He glanced at his fingers while he folded them together. "That you're a Satanist, or you live in a cult. They say if someone makes friends with you they turn into stone. Oh, and also that you're gay."
"Turning into stone? That is impossible," said Cas. He couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I can assure you that I am no Satanist nor do I live in a cult either. But I cannot argue with the last statement."
"You're gay?"
Cas nodded. "I hope that isn't a problem for you."
"No, not at all," said Kevin. "I can't judge like that. Everyone's got things that make them unique, right?"
"Right."
"Sam's brother is gay, too."
"Sam?" asked Cas. His attention went back to eating now.
"Yeah, Sam. He's a kid in our grade. I sorta kinda know him, not all that well but enough to say hi. He's cool. He's really smart. But his brother is gay and people kinda make fun of him for it. Although they never tease him to his face."
"Why is that?"
"Because Dean will kick their ass."
"Interesting. High school is very interesting."
"I guess so," said Kevin. "But anyway, I need to get to the library and work on this essay. I'll see you later, Cas, right?"
"Yes, certainly. Thank you, Kevin."
The next few days carried on in the same manner. The girls teased, Kevin spent a few minutes at lunch with him and Castiel remained surrounded in mystery. He wanted to meet more of his peers but he was scared to. Somehow the word of him being gay was spreading like wildfire and that really turned some people off. Guys thought he would assault them and girls thought he had something wrong with him. This really was the wrong school district to be openly gay. Cas didn't think that one through.
"Ass likes it in the Cas; Cas likes it in the Ass!"
Jeers from the girls behind Cas in his English class (the fat faced girl he learned was named Meg and the redhead was Abby) taunted him throughout the period. Once they found out about Cas' sexuality they were not going to drop it.
"How is your Cas, Ass?" Abby asked in a shrill hiss.
"How is your Ass, Cas?" Meg added. Cas just ignored them. He huddled over his desk more and continued to work on a drawing. "Whatcha doin', Cas?"
"Drawing," he said in a soft voice.
Meg peered over his shoulder at a million different angles, trying to get a peek of what he was drawing. "Oh, that's actually sorta cool. You draw a lot?"
"Yes."
"Can I see?"
Cas moved his arm away and showed a detailed sketch of an angel in armor. Meg and Abby looked at each other and smiled, then the brunette moved in closer to Cas and said, "That's awesome. You're really talented, I had no idea."
"Thank you," said Cas, feeling a little comfortable for once.
"Lemme see it a little closer?" Meg asked.
"Of course," Cas agreed and handed her the drawing. Meg snatched it front his hand and immediately ripped it into two pieces.
"OOPS!" she said with a rude laugh. Cas stared at her and started to tear up. "Sorry, Ass."
Abby cackled at took one half of the drawing then tore it into smaller pieces and rolled them up. "Poor Ass," she said. "Seems everything has a split down the middle, huh?"
Cas' bottom lip twitched and he began to cry. It was sort of loud.
"Is there a problem?" Mr. Crowley asked from behind the projector.
"No, no," Meg said with a smug smirk. "Everything's fine, Mr. Crowley. You can keep going." Then she leaned in close to Cas and said, "everything is not fine."
Cas sniffed real loud and put his head down on his desk. A couple other nearby classmates started to look at him and when one of them tried talking to Cas, Abby interrupted with, "Oh, he's fine. He's just faking. He wants the attention, he's just faking."
When the class ended, Cas got out of there and quickly as he could. The girls were tricksters and very aggressive, so he didn't want to have anything to do with them at all. The further away he could get the better. So he clutched his bag tight and went down to the front of the school swiftly, darting through crowds of teens and the occasional slow moving teacher. Sometimes a fast moving teacher.
He got outside and scurried over to his usual curb for lunch, but Abby and Meg had tailed him.
"Yo, Ass!" Abby shouted. Meg followed behind, clacking along in heels that she had no business wearing at school. Cas huddled against his curb and looked up at them.
"Yes?" he asked timidly.
"Where's your boyfriend at?" Abby asked, standing with one hand on her hip and striking a sassy pose. Beneath her heavy eyeliner did her gaze pierce Cas deeply.
"Are you referring to Kevin?"
"Yeah, the little Asian that couldn't."
"He is not my boyfriend and I am not sure where he is. Likely studying."
"Mmm, of course," said Abby, looking back at Meg and laughing. Then she turned to Cas once more and towered over him. "So you got a boyfriend yet or what?"
"No."
Now Meg came around to his other side and, laughing like a monkey or something, said "It's probably because you're so ugly." Cas frowned.
"Yeah I agree," said Abby, nodding. "Look at your lips, Ass. They're huge. They're huge and pale. They're basically white. I dunno. Am I right?"
"Yes definitely," Meg agreed. "And your face is round. Like, really round."
Cas wanted to remark about Meg's face shape but he was afraid to. That sort of behavior was not instilled within him. Instead he attempted to go about his business and ignore the girls. He took his lunch bag from his backpack and started to open it up.
"Oh, what's that, Ass?" Abby asked. "Trying to ignore us?"
The girls stepped closer to him now and then Meg reached down and snatched his lunch away.
"Hey!" Cas shouted.
"OOOO! Defensive? The little faggot is being defensive?" Abby hollered. "What's he got, Meg?"
"Just a sandwich," Meg replied, looking through the bag like a raccoon. "He must be poor."
"Awww, mommy and daddy don't make enough money to support their little faggot better?"
Cas folded his arms and glared at Abby. He went to stand up but then she knocked him back down onto the pavement. Cas wanted help so badly. He felt like he was going to die out there. Why wouldn't anybody intervene? A couple seniors walked by but they just turned the other way like nothing was happening. Why were people so heartless?
"You can't really do anything," Abby said. "If you hit us you'll get in way more trouble. Then again, considering you're basically a girl maybe you won't!"
Meg thought that was especially funny. She laughed and laughed, squeezing his food in her hands. Globs of peanut butter and jelly plopped onto the ground and Cas knew he was going hungry for the rest of the day. But then Meg stuck out her arm and slopped some of the sandwich across Cas' face. He winced and tried to avoid it, but she managed to get it there anyway.
"You should get used to stuff all over your face," said Meg. "Considering, well, you know. Right?"
"Right," Abby agreed.
Touching his face really crossed the line. Terrified and confused, Cas started to back away. "Leave me alone," he muttered. The girls continued to pursue him. He went towards the parking lot and near the rows of beat up cars.
"Don't run!" Abby said. "We just wanna talk to you! We just wanna help you out!"
"No!" Cas shouted. He held onto his backpack and started to dart away, but the two girls jumped at him and Abby sent a punch right in his face. It popped him good and he fell backwards, all the way down onto the pavement.
"We don't like faggots!" Abby yelled.
Cas clutched the searing pain and tried to look up at the girls. They both stared down at him. Tears and blood ran down his face, then Meg delivered a strong kick to his side and he shouted in pain.
But then the girls froze. Some old school guitar riff was playing and getting gradually louder. They looked up. Their mouths fell open. Cas could hear the engine of a car idling, probably an old one judging by the sound. Then a guy called out, "GET OFF HIM!"
Abby and Meg ran and Cas just closed his eyes. He covered his face with his hands and started to cry more. He was in so much pain and he was still so, so hungry.
"YOU'RE LUCKY YOU AIN'T DUDES OR I WOULDA KICKED YOUR ASSES!"
Cas tried to sit up and see who this stranger was but the pain was so much he just couldn't. He had never been beat up before.
His eyes closed once more and then someone came down next to him. Urgent hands touched him all over, checking for wounds probably. Then big fingers touched his face.
"You okay, buddy?"
Cas whimpered in response.
"It's alright, it's alright. I'm here, okay? You're gonna be fine. Can you get up?"
"I can try," Cas mumbled.
"Come on, it's alright. Let's…alright…cool."
This guy slipped his hand underneath Cas' arm and hoisted him up. Cas fell against the guy, still crying a bit, as they walked presumably to his car. Cas flopped down into the passenger's seat and was greeted by the smell of old leather. The car was huge inside. Then the guy switched on the ignition but immediately turned the volume on the radio down.
As they began to drive, Cas opened his eyes and saw the stranger. He was older than him but still quite young. A strong profile with soft eyes, short hair and full lips looked forward as they drove. They just went around to the front of the school, where this mysterious savior got Cas' full name, went into the office and got him out for the day. When he came back into the car he looked at Cas and said, "You gotta get home. It's fine. Where you live at?" Cas told him his address and they drove.
"How's your head?"
"Quite terrible," said Cas.
"Sorry about that, buddy. I'm Dean, by the way."
"Dean?" Cas asked. "Sam's brother."
"Yeah," Dean said with a chuckle. "You know Sammy?"
"No, I have heard of him, that's all."
"Oh, alright. Yeah he's a great kid. I'll introduce you two."
"Okay."
A little more mindless banter later and they arrived at Cas' house. Dean parked out front and helped him inside, holding him close so he could put all his weight against him. Once they were in, he told Cas to lay down on the sofa while he looked for towels. Cas pulled his legs up on the cushions and nestled into a pillow, sighing.
"Here," said Dean. "Lemme just clean you up."
He squat beside Cas on the floor and took a damp cloth to his face. He cleaned up all of the blood and sandwich, dabbing lightly and trying to avoid any pain.
"Bitches hit you good," Dean remarked.
"I'm sorry," said Cas.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"I-I don't know."
"Hey, it's alright," Dean said coaxingly. He used a new towel to pat Cas' face dry now, then he touched his forehead with his fingers. "This shit happens. Those two girls cause a lot of trouble, it really sucks."
Cas sniffed once and looked away. "Thank you," he mumbled.
"No problem. So here, take some Advil and try to sleep, okay?" Dean said, thrusting forth two pills and a glass of water. Cas took them gratefully then lay back on the sofa. Dean took a pencil from the table and a napkin that was there and scribbled down a number. "If you need anything let me know, alright?"
"Alright. Thank you again, Dean."
"It's fine, don't worry about it. Hang in there, Cas. You'll be fine. And if you want a ride to school tomorrow let me know. I'll keep those bitches away from you."
"Great. Some strange boy. That's just great."
Early in the following morning, Cas stood by the front door with his school gear on ready for Dean to pick him up. His mother, unfortunately, was not as pleased. Luckily she was too busy bitching and running around to notice the bruising on Cas' face, but he still had to lay low just in case.
"He goes to school with me, he is not a stranger."
"How old is he? How long have you known him?"
"I don't know."
Cas' mom sighed loudly and walked by him in a swoosh, snatching up her work shoes. She continued to mutter disappointed comments under her breath but then that old car pulled up into the driveway right on time. Cas heard the engine rumbling and he knew it was Dean.
"I'll be home after school," he said before leaving. His mother didn't even bother to say good bye.
"Hey, buddy!" Dean called out from the driver's window, waving. Cas made a small, shy smile and went up to him. There were two other people in the car so he sat in the back. Riding shotgun was a thin young guy who Cas presumed to be Sam, and behind him was another guy who was slouching and looked quite grumpy. Cas sat down and looked at Dean's eyes in the rearview mirror.
"Hello, Dean," Cas said quietly.
"How are ya doing?" Dean asked. He backed out of the driveway and headed down the road towards their school.
"Fine, thank you," Cas answered.
"This is my brother by the way," Dean said, pointing to Sam. Then the guy sitting next to him suddenly started kicking the back of Sam's chair.
"SAMMICH!" he shouted. "LEMME COPY YOUR NOTES!"
"Gabe!" Dean hissed. "Don't kick the car!"
"Mleh!" The boy obviously named Gabe stuck his tongue out at Dean and dropped his feet from the chair, all the while Sam just sat there and looked meek. "Don't kick the ca-aar," Gabe mocked.
"I mean it," Dean added, speaking through his teeth.
Gabe rolled his eyes and glanced over at Cas. Once he actually got a look at him, he squint his eyes and said, "Hey aren't you in our first period?"
Cas adjusted himself. "I have Algebra I with Mr. Singer for my first period."
"Yeah, yeah! Hey Sammich, this kid's from our class. Didja know that?"
"Yes," Sam said. He looked over his shoulder and smiled friendly at Cas. "That's cool."
A little more useless banter and songs from the classic rock station later and the boys arrived at their school. Dean found a space in the back and everyone piled out of the car.
"Give me a ride to class," Gabe said. He tried to jump on Sam's back but Sam didn't seem interested.
"We can all go there together, right?" Sam asked Cas.
"Alright. That sounds pleasant," Cas said with a nod.
Sam and Gabe went ahead but Dean stopped Cas before he could get too far. "Hey," he said quietly. "Cas."
Cas looked Dean straight in the eyes and held his breath. "Yes?" he asked timidly.
"I know you're probly scared to go back, but it'll be fine, okay? And if anybody bugs you just lemme know and I'll put a stop to it."
"O-okay," said Cas. "Thank you."
Dean smiled and waved before going off to a different part of the school. Cas had to swallow any nervous feelings and get to class. He caught up to Sam and Gabe and followed them to Mr. Singer's room.
On their way there after the first bell but not before the second, Cas fell behind Sam and Gabe when he saw his bullies coming around the corner. They were joined by the third, a blonde girl who associated herself as the leader of the pack. Through the ocean of moving students this chick parted a path and went right up to Cas. Her long nails snatched him by the sleeve and prevented him from moving.
"Oh, he is ugly," she said. Abby and Meg stood behind her with faces of horror as if Cas had brandished a gun.
"No, no!" Meg shouted. "Don't, Lilith. Don't! He's under Dean's wings now."
"I don't care," said Lilith. "What's Dean going to do, anyway?"
Meg and Abby exchanged scared glances, all the while Cas just stood there in horror. Lilith's hand let off of his arm and she retracted a bit, looking the young man over.
"How'd you get so ugly, anyway?"
"I don't know," Cas answered shortly.
"Wow, you can't even argue with me?" Lilith rolled her eyes. "I guess Dean isn't gay after all."
"Huh?" Meg asked. "No, he is. Remember when—"
"No, I mean he's interested in this giant pussy so obviously he isn't gay," Lilith said, snapping her tongue at Cas. "Don't worry, assface. I'll think of something for you."
The second bell rang and the girls all dispersed. Cas was late for first period, but what other choice did he have?
Cas thought about Dean all day. When Mr. Singer handed out that night's homework or when Mr. Crowley explained the necessary difference between your and you're, or even during Mr. Balthazar's extensive rants on significant historical events took up the entire period, Cas was thinking about Dean. He felt so childlike in comparison to him; certainly puberty was taking its course but Cas was still a little boyish in the face. He recently starting shaving just a bit and his height had shot up greatly during the last two years, he was now around 5'9" so he certainly wasn't a tiny guy. But Dean…Dean was a man. He was the type of guy that Cas would ogle in magazines. He was over 6' tall and built with big, firm muscles and a strong jawline. Everything about him was fucking perfect, even his hands. Cas could spend hours breaking down each bit of his body, wondering what it would feel like to be closer.
The bullies would come and go. Meg and Abby dared not even speak to Cas once Dean claimed him, but Lilith and her boyfriend Alistair continued to harass him. In general Cas starting to get better at avoiding them. They didn't really tease Kevin a whole lot, so when Cas walked around with him he would always scout the area. Once Lilith or Alistair was spotted, Kevin would quickly pull Cas away and stick him somewhere hidden until they passed. The whole thing kept Cas very much on edge.
One day after fourth period as Cas was making his way down to the first floor (he finally started to eat in the lunchroom) he saw Dean standing in the hallway. Afternoon sunlight came in through the tall windows he was against, looking out over the courtyard and sparkling on his face. It never ceased to amaze Cas how Dean wasn't really a bad kid. Judging him strictly on appearance you would think he was the kind of guy to roll with Lilith, always between detention and fights but no; he was Cas' knight in dirty leather armor and nothing more. A perfectly imperfect guy who had a bigger heart than he would let on.
"Hello, Dean," Cas said, walking up to the guy shyly.
"Hey, Cas. How're you doing?"
"I am well," Cas muttered, looking down. Even though they were practically friends, it was difficult for Cas to relax around him. He kept thinking Dean would change and suddenly have no interest in him, or he would pursue someone older. "Why are you here? I thought you went out for lunch?"
"Yeah sometimes, but today I'm waiting for Charlie to bring me something."
"Charlie?" Cas asked with a tight swallow. "Is um, is he your boyfriend I'm guessing?"
"No, no," Dean said quickly, laughing. "She is just a friend. That's all. No worries."
"Oh, alright."
"There she is."
From behind Cas did a woman appear, thin and pretty with straight red hair but a very tomboyish way of dressing. She smiled cutely and brandished something in her hand. "Check it out, bitches!" she announced triumphantly.
"You got it?" Dean asked with a grin.
"Sure did."
Dean took what seemed to be a key from Charlie and showed it to Cas. "See this?" he asked.
"What is it?"
Charlie interrupted here and had to ask if Cas was indeed Cas. "This is him? This is the guy?"
"Yeah," Dean said, showing off a shy sort of smile. "This is Cas. Anyway, here's the key to the greenhouse."
"Greenhouse? There is a greenhouse?" Cas asked.
"Sure is," Charlie interjected. "But only Ms. Mills uses it. They shut it out of commission when the experiment they expected to use it for was botched."
"How did you get a key to it?" Cas inquired.
"I have my ways," said Charlie. "It's just a spare, but I'm going to make a copy or two or three and put it back. They'll never know."
"Awesome," said Dean. "Mind if I hang onto this one? I can get the copies."
"Sure. Just make sure I get one, okie?"
"Yeah definitely."
"Thanks, Dean. Now I gotta run." Charlie opened up her messenger bag and took out a big binder packed full of all sorts of papers. "Work to do, you know."
"Okay cool. See you 'round," Dean said with a wave. Cas just smiled at Charlie as she walked on by, but then Dean looked to Cas and asked "You wanna look at the greenhouse?"
"Could we potentially get in trouble?" Cas asked.
"Technically, but nobody's gonna care."
"Um, alright. Sure. We can go. I am interested to this, anyway."
"Follow me."
Dean took Cas by the arm and suddenly pulled him away. They went to the nearest stairwell and went up to the third and top floor. Then, feet patting themselves along the linoleum of the empty halls, went all the way to the end and through a door that wasn't locked. That went to a tiny hallway and Dean stopped at one of the doors. There was a window in the door which had glass with those little crosshatches of metal wire running through it, and on the other side there was light but translucent green paper or plastic had been taped all over it.
"Here," said Dean. He took that stolen key and popped open the door then let Cas go through. Suddenly they were inside a very impressive greenhouse. It was narrow and ran long, with great big arching glass walls on one side that overlooked the woods behind the school.
"Wow," was all Cas could say. He carefully stepped inside and up to the glass where he set his fingers against it and looked outside. It was warm in the greenhouse of course, but pleasant and smelled earthy. Dean shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few steps down the length of the room. Cas looked back and noticed that the plants weren't doing very well. "What happened?"
"I don't think anybody's been in here," said Dean. "Thought Ms. Mills was still watering them but I guess not, huh? Seems so."
Cas nodded to himself and started to walk around the room. He went to the far end of it where there was a sink, immediately took a watering can and began to fill it. Dean gazed at a couple wilted plants as he walked, watching Cas off and on.
"What're you doing?" Dean asked.
"I think it's terrible to leave the plants like this," said Cas. He started to water each pot one by one, which took some time. Dean took up another watering can and helped out, too. In about fifteen minutes or so they were done. Cas set down his can and plopped on a ledge by the glass. He sighed but smiled. "That's better."
"Yeah, I agree," said Dean. He sat beside him. "You should hold the keys to this place."
"Why?"
"'Cause you're gonna take care of the plants."
"Weren't you?"
"No, we just want to hang out here because it's quiet."
"Oh…"
"Think about it, Cas; your own private little room to relax. No bullies, no problems. Just you and plants. Your buddy Kevin would probably love to study up here."
"That's true," Cas said with a chuckle. "You're right."
"Yeah? See, that's what I mean."
"Mmm. Oh, Dean?"
"Yeah?"
Cas folded his hands together and looked down at them. His cheeks turned bright red.
"What?" Dean asked. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Cas said. He shook his head and stood up. "Lunch will be ending soon. We should leave and make sure we aren't late to sixth period."
"Right."
The greenhouse became a regular hangout for Cas. It was his safe haven. Every morning before school he would go in and check on the plants, usually speaking to them softly. "Hello, tomatoes. Hello, herbs. Hello, ferns." He could lock himself in there so nobody would come in and therefor nobody knew where he was. Lunch was eaten in there and most of his homework was completed, too. Kevin didn't want a key because he was afraid he'd get in trouble, but as long as Cas was in there he would study as well.
Every now and then Cas would come in and find Charlie sitting down in the corner behind an array of papers and D&D books. Occasionally Dean would join her but he mostly looked bored. But most often Cas came into the greenhouse to find Sam and Gabe plopped down with their backs against the glass. Once they figured out they could open the windows, Gabe realized it was the perfect place to hotbox the school.
"Stealin' more cigarettes from my daddy," Gabe said with the click of his tongue. Cas walked in and looked at the boys in disappointment.
"Um, could you possibly not smoke in the greenhouse?" Cas asked.
"Baaah!" Gabe groaned. He elbowed Sam, who was not smoking, in the stomach and laughed. "We opened the window, man. Don't worry. Your plants are cool."
"Well…" Cas stepped further into the room and started to check over all of his plants. They were doing very well these days. The grape tomatoes were starting to ripen and that was a huge accomplishment. As he watered the pots, Gabe kept blowing smoke out of the window and Sam just sat there. He watched Cas.
"You're getting along well with my brother, right?" Sam asked.
"Yes. I see him frequently but only at school."
"Mm. That's cool. You know you should hang out at our place more, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."
Cas looked over his watering can and blinked at Sam. Gabe snuffed out the cigarette on the ledge and flicked it out of the window then turned to both of the boys and smirked silently.
"I would like that," Cas said quietly. He went back to pouring gentle streams of water over his plants.
"Alright Sammich, we gotta fly." Gabe took Sam by the collar and yanked him off the floor then they passed by Cas on their way out. "See ya, bud."
"Goodbye," said Cas. He waved a little as the two boys left. Once the door was closed and locked, Cas sighed to himself with a smile and went over to where they had been. Using a messy old hand broom, he cleaned up the stray ashes left behind by Gabe on the ledge and then closed the window. He was going to take a seat on one of the plastic chairs against the wall, but then the door unlocked and his heart skipped a beat. Sure, the greenhouse was practically his, but he was still using a copy of a stolen key and in a room he wasn't supposed to be in. But it was Dean. Thank God. Just Dean.
"Well hey there, Cas. Figured you'd be here."
Cas looked at Dean, blushing, and flashed a smile. "Yes, several times a day."
"Good. Those punks leaving you alone?" Dean put his hands into his pockets and sauntered over to Cas, taking slow steps that matched his gazing around the room. A sharp breath of air sucked hard into Cas' chest the closer Dean got.
"They don't know that I come here," Cas said. Nervous hands clung to the almost empty watering can. "As long as they don't find out, I'm safe. This is my safe house."
"Hate you encourage you hiding, but if it works it works, right?" Dean smiled at Cas and came even closer to him. "Are you happy?"
"Sometimes," said Cas.
"Only sometimes?"
"Yeaah…"
Dean stood right next Cas. His hand opened up and he lightly touched Cas' fingers. The younger of them jumped at first, gasping, but then he relaxed and took Dean's hand. Their fingers entwined delicately as they both stood there in silence. The touch of Dean's skin alone was satisfying for Cas. His fingers were large and heavy but also lean. There was a little bit of hair on his knuckles with Cas thumbed over curiously.
"Cas," Dean whispered.
"Um. Here, look at how the herbs are doing."
Speaking quickly with great nervousness, Cas lead Dean by the hand a few feet over to a table that ran along the back of the room, covered in small pots that had all of his herbs growing in them. Their fingers still interlocked, Dean gazed over the plants with a smile.
"Man, they're really coming along good aren't they?"
"Yes, definitely."
"Look at you, the little green thumb."
Cas put his free hand on the table and lightly moved one of the pots. He touched a leaf of basil, rubbed it between his index finger and thumb then held it out to Dean. "Smell it," he said, and immediately the older boy leaned down and sniffed.
"That's nice," Dean remarked, then he closed his eyes just momentarily and kissed Cas' finger. His lips were so soft touching the flesh. Cas gasped to himself and bit his lower lip, turning bright red in the face. "What's wrong?" asked Dean.
"I-I don't know," Cas answered quickly. He squeezed Dean's hand a little harder now but avoided eye contact.
"Hey…"
Dean took his other hand and slid it along Cas' cheek. The younger didn't hesitate. He wanted to feel Dean so badly yet in his head he felt unworthy. Either way, he turned his face into the palm and nuzzled it just barely.
"You think you don't deserve me?" Dean asked in a voice that was nearly whispering. Cas sniffed and nodded. "You do, Cas. I'm nothing special."
Cas shook his head in protest. "You are," he insisted. "You are very special. Why would you waste your time with a person like me?"
"Because you're special, too," Dean said. He let go of Cas' hand now and brought the other one up to cup both sides of his face. Cas gazed at Dean with sparkling eyes. His hands laid upon Dean's chest slowly and felt the worn leather. "You deserve everything good."
They both knew what was coming so they both leaned into each other, meeting with their lips in the center. Cas' heart beat so fast he was afraid it might leap out and hit Dean. He kept his eyes closed throughout the kiss, which didn't last very long and wasn't especially intense, but when Dean withdrew he opened them again.
"First kiss, right?" Dean whispered.
"Yes…is that okay?"
"Yeah of course. Why wouldn't it?"
Cas shrugged. "I don't know," he mumbled.
"Hey," said Dean. He let his hands fall away from Cas' face now but they remained on his shoulders. "You wanna see that new Marvel movie tonight?"
"With you?" Cas asked, eyes widening.
"Yeah. Sam and Gabe already saw it last week, so I thought we could go alone."
"Like a,…like a date?"
Dean nodded with a smile. "Yeah," he said. "Like a date."
"Y-yes," Cas said quietly. His face was even hotter now.
"I'll pick you up at 7. Sound good?"
"Yes," said Cas. He closed his eyes real tight and tried not to show Dean how fangirlishly ecstatic he was. Dean put a kiss on his forehead before he left.
Of course immediately after Dean was gone, Cas couldn't focus on anything else so he finished up in the greenhouse and went on his way. As he locked the door and went out into the hallway, he bumped into Lilith and Alistair.
"That's where he's been," Lilith said, folding her arms. "Hey, Ass."
Cas' giant smile faded as soon as they spoke to him. Both of the bullies cornered him and he froze, unsure of what to do.
"How'd you get a key to the greenhouse?" Alistair asked.
"I don't know," Cas said shortly.
"I want one. Give me one."
"N-no," Cas protested, shaking his head side to side.
"I said give me one," Alistair insisted. He lurched forward and grabbed Cas by both arms.
"Stop!" Cas shouted, but Lilith shoved her hands into the tangles and pried the key from his tight fist. "No!"
"That's good," said Lilith. "Key to the greenhouse. Not bad."
"Nice," Alistair said with a seedy grin. He left off of Cas and he collapsed back against the wall. "See ya."
Cas didn't know what to do. That was his safe place. His hideaway. But now they knew and it wasn't safe anymore. He couldn't even bother to find Dean and just sat in the corner and cried.
7 o'clock. Cas waited by the front door in the best clothes he could find; a button-up shirt and good jeans. His mom was still at work so luckily he didn't even need to explain any of that to her. Once the old car pulled into the driveway, rattling and blasting music as usual, Cas slipped out of the door and into the passenger's seat.
"Hey there, buddy," Dean greeted when Cas sat down.
"Hello, Dean."
"You look good."
"Oh?" Cas asked, blushing all of the sudden. He kept to himself in his seat, feeling nervous with all sorts of butterflies in his stomach.
"Yeah, definitely."
They drove downtown and Dean managed to find a space on the street. When they got out of the car, Cas immediately went to his side and snatched the taller boy's hand. He held onto it like a talisman for protection. Their hands were together for most of the time, including the entire movie. It was good, but not as good as being with Dean. Just having him there was pleasant. Cas thought of Dean like his guardian angel who could deflect the scariest of situations.
After the movie, the boys left the theater and headed back towards the car. "You hungry or anything?" Dean asked.
"No."
"What do you wanna do?"
"I just…I just want to be with you."
Dean smiled. He stopped in his tracks then turned to hug Cas, taking him in his strong arms. Cas fell into the hug and nuzzled up against his chest. "That's so sweet," Dean said. "Really, Cas. Means a lot to me that you said that."
"It means a lot to me that you're here," Cas said, muffled against Dean's clothes.
"So what do you wanna do?"
"I'm not ready to go home yet."
"Go for a ride?"
"Alright."
The boys walked back to Dean's car and went off aimlessly out of the city. It was dark but the world around them was full of life, bright lights and loud voices. The further they went away from downtown the quieter it got. They drove and drove, listening to the classic rock station as Dean blathered on about his life. Cas didn't mind. He loved hearing anything Dean had to say and he especially loved listening to his voice.
"Yeah this car was the only thing good my dad left."
"Is he…dead?" Cas asked cautiously.
"No, no. Well, maybe. I dunno. Bastard ran off some 10 years ago and we haven't heard from him since."
"That's terrible, I'm very sorry."
"It happens. I'm sure your family isn't all sunshine and rainbows."
Cas nodded. He thought about his own father, about how his mother was falling apart without him. It was interesting that they both had absent fathers.
"The only thing that really sucks about it is how I gotta take care of my family," Dean continued. "I watch out for mom, you know? And Sammy…Sammy's a great kid and I love him to death, but it's like he can't stand up on his own without falling down and scratching his knee. I mean that figuratively and literally. But I take care of them 'cause I gotta."
"You take care of me," Cas said sadly.
"I do."
"Why? You don't have to."
"I want to." Dean pulled off on the side of the road. He shut off the engine and turned to Cas. "Please don't think I'm doing anything because I feel obligated. I want to take care of you. Seeing you happy makes me happy, okay?"
Cas nodded. He wasn't sure what else to do, but then he moved across the bench seat, took his arms and flung them around Dean's shoulders. "Thank you," he whispered. Dean put his hands on Cas' waist and held him closer.
"You don't need to thank me," he whispered.
"But I want to," said Cas.
He looked up at Dean wide-eyed and then instantly began to kiss. Their head twisted and turned against each other, Dean quickly overpowering Cas with his tongue. His lips latched over Cas' and his tongue slipped inside his mouth. Cas had little else he could do but melt against Dean and moan softly into the kiss. His legs started to move out in front of himself as Dean towered over him. The kissing continued and Cas soon found himself on his back with Dean on top. He grappled onto the taller boy's jacket and tugged at it to come off.
"Where we you going with this?" Dean asked teasingly, breaking the kiss. He sat up a bit and let his jacket come off. Cas gazed at the hard body, packed tightly into a soft t-shirt that glistened in the bit of streetlight coming through the window. Dean's face had strong shadows strewn across it but it was still very enticing.
"I'm not sure," Cas mumbled.
"Do you want to have sex?"
"I th-think so," Cas said, nodding. "I mean, I would greatly love to have sex with you. But I'm afraid."
"Why?"
"It's new. It's different."
"I don't wanna do anything that will upset you."
"No, I want you," Cas insisted. His hands ran along Dean's neck. "Will you be gentle?"
"Yeah of course."
"Then, yes, I would like this…please…"
Dean smiled just a bit and leaned down into Cas again. Their chests pressed together as they kissed again, grinding their bodies in a slow rhythm. It was hard for Cas to believe that he was really going to have sex, not just for the first time but with Dean. He let his hands run over the back of his head, feeling Dean's short hair with his fingertips. So good.
Then Dean began to move down. He ran his hands over Cas' shirt and started to unbutton it slowly. Beneath the fabric did Cas' heart palpitate violently from Dean's touch. His hands gripped into the leather upholstery of the car and he rolled his head back, so nervous but so horny. Dean's lips made a trail of kisses against Cas' sweating flesh every time he unbuttoned further. He went all the way down to the end of the shirt and stopped at the waist of the pants. Then Dean took his hand and lightly cupped the outside of Cas' crotch, stroking his boner.
"You're sure this is what you want, right?" Dean asked, looking up at Cas with a smile.
"Yes."
Dean nodded to himself and started to unzip Cas' fly. This of course made the younger boy even more nervous since nobody had seen his junk before. But either way, he trusted Dean and spread his legs a bit. Dean pulled down Cas' pants and underpants, exposing his throbbing cock. The air in the car was cool went it touched his bare skin so he shivered a bit. Then, smiling, Dean took the clothes all the way to Cas' feet and pulled them off. He spread Cas' legs and sat up, then propped them on his own waist. Exposed but excited, Cas stared up at Dean with his mouth slightly open.
"It's gonna be fine," Dean reassured him. He took his hands and smoothed over the flesh on Cas' thighs, rubbing so delicately that it tickled. Cas wet his lips with his tongue and braced himself as Dean took his own cock out from his pants. Then he reached over to the glove compartment and grabbed a few things but Cas couldn't see what. Quickly he learned one was a condom, which Dean tore and slipped over his dick.
"D-do you think I have a disease?" Cas asked nervously.
"No."
"Do you have a disease?"
"Definitely no."
"Then why…?"
"It's just what you do. Any guy that won't wear a condom for you isn't worth your time, okay?"
Cas nodded, then Dean smiled and took something else in his hands. It snapped and then a cold, wet finger touched Cas' asshole. He tightened and let out a squeal.
"Just lube. It'll warm up."
"O-okay," said Cas. He tried his best to relax.
"Now it's gonna hurt a little at first, it always does, but don't worry. It'll feel good, okay? Are you ready?"
"Yes," Cas said stiffly. He squeezed his legs around Dean's waist a little more and prepared himself for the sensations that were about to come.
Dean held his own dick in his hand and pressed it against Cas' hole. Cas happened to sneak a peek down at it and he gasped, "it's big!"
"Yeah I know, but it'll fit I promise."
With a grimace, Cas rolled his head back against the inside of the car door and closed his eyes. He sighed and spread his legs a bit more. Then Dean started to press inside. He used his free hand to stroke Cas' tummy, then down to his dick and fumbled his taut ball sack. His hole was stretched wide by the cock and it definitely hurt at first. It felt weird and uncomfortable, but Dean's grunts and moans were so sexy that he didn't even care. Once the cock made it in deeper it suddenly felt good. Really good. So good that Cas bucked his hips fiercely and shouted, "Oh my GOD! Oh! Oh God!"
He whimpered and moaned, soon taking the entire length of Dean's dick. Their bodies were thick with sweat and arousal, filling the car with such heat that the windows were really fogging up now. Dean leaned down and, slowly thrusting his hips within the younger boy, took Cas' face in his hands and started to kiss him. They ground against each other while kissing, moaning, thrusting, and throbbing in time to their heartbeats. It was so special and sexy that Cas thought he would die.
His hands held onto Dean tight as the thrusts began to increase in pace. Beads of sweet sweat rolled down Dean's forehead, staring at Cas with his tongue between his teeth. He pinned Cas down to the leather seat and started to slam his ass hard.
"Ngggh…Dean! DEAN!" Cas screamed, bucking wildly against the giant cock. He hollered and cried, overcome with such desire that it didn't take long for him to cum.
Dean squeezed down at Cas' cock as he felt his own orgasm approaching. He fucked the ass harder and harder, pulling at Cas' dick with a slick hand. The car shook violently with the humping, rocking like nobody's business. Then all at once they climaxed together. It was loud, it was hot. Cas arched his back way up and cried out Dean's name wickedly, shooting a few thin ropes of cum onto his chest. Dean's voice grew lower and even more gravely, grunting and crying when his load oozed out. He collapsed down onto Cas and held him tenderly, kissing his neck and tasting the sweat there.
"That was good," Dean said, catching his breath.
"Dean…" Cas gasped. He hugged his partner tightly. "Oh, Dean."
Not many words were spoken as the afterglow engrossed them. They hugged, stroked each other softly and put tiny kisses all over the flesh, but a more unspoken sort of communication took place. There was an understanding between them that didn't really have words that suited it well. And it was very nice.
Cas forgot about the greenhouse key incident until the next morning rolled around. Dean gave him a ride along with Sam and Gabe as usual but he had to meet up with Charlie early, so once they arrived they went separate ways. Kevin flagged Cas down in the hallway and the four of them went upstairs to the greenhouse, but as they ascended the stairs it came back to Cas.
"No!" he suddenly shouted.
"What?" asked Kevin. Cas' face went white and he stopped moving.
"The greenhouse!"
"Yeah," Gabe interjected. "We're going, we're going."
"No, no!" Cas spoke gravely. "They have the key!"
"Who?" asked Sam.
"Lilith and Alistair. They took it from me yesterday."
"Wait, what?!" Kevin gasped. He looked at Sam then Gabe in horror. "We gotta go, we gotta go look at it."
They had to pull Cas to keep moving, then they rushed up to the top floor and ran to the hallway. All four of them went to the greenhouse door to find it unlocked.
"No, no, no…" Cas mumbled under his breath, starting to hyperventilate. His one place of peace was gone now.
"Try to calm down, Cas," Sam said. He patted him on the arm. "We don't even know if anything is wrong…"
But Gabe pushed the door open and revealed something very wrong. All of Cas' plants had been toppled, trampled, mangled and destroyed. Dirt was everywhere and a few panels of glass had been smashed out. The room was cold and covered in brown soil and sparkling shards of thick, green glass.
The boys made their way in with mouths hanging open, astonished at what they saw. The pile of artwork Cas had been working on was torn up and it even seemed to be burned in some places. He walked up to his table of herbs and with a shaky hand, traced his fingers through the dirt. All of his hard work was ruined. They had trashed the place.
"Hey, Cas?" Kevin asked in a small voice. "Um, are you okay?"
Cas, quivering as his eyes turned red, slowly stepped back to the door. He looked down and tears splattered on the floor.
"Cas?" Kevin asked again, this time Sam and Gabe chimed in as well but Cas didn't answer. He hugged himself and ran out of the room.
"Wait! Cas!" Sam shouted. "Oh, hell. Um, Gabe? We gotta get help. Go tell Ms. Mills what happened. Alistair and Lilith probably still have the key so it'll be easy to pin it on them. Kevin, we need to find Dean. He'll know where Cas is going. Look for Charlie, she's either with him or knows where he is."
"Alright," said Kevin.
"Sure, sure," said Gabe. He left first, shouting "MS. MILLS! MS. MILLS!" as he ran off down the hallway. Then Kevin hurried in the other direction. Sam went downstairs and looked for his brother, hoping he wasn't too far away. He rounded the courtyard and saw that Dean was in the empty lunchroom, sitting with Charlie and going over some books.
"DEAN!" Sam shouted.
"Huh? Yeah?" He looked up from a book and smiled when he saw Sam, but as soon as the younger boy got closer and he realized how upset he was, everything changed. "What happened?"
"Cas," said Sam, slightly out of breath. "He…they trashed the greenhouse."
"What?!" Dean yelled. He dropped the book closed and got up from the table. "Who?! Where's Cas?!"
"Lilith and Alistair and I don't know, he went running away. Where does he go when he's upset?"
Now Dean began to grow very flustered and his face turned red with frustration. "I don't know, I don't know! He goes to the greenhouse, man! Where would he go if he couldn't go there?! I DON'T KNOW!"
"We can split up," said Charlie. "We'll find him. Try bathrooms and stuff, girls go there when they're upset, why not boys?"
"Okay," said Sam. Dean didn't answer be he went walking off down the hallway.
"Caaass!" he yelled. "CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!"
Dean went up to the greenhouse to see if perhaps Cas had returned, but all he saw was the great big mess the bullies had left behind. Ms. Mills and Gabe were in there.
"You find Cas?" Gabe asked.
"No," Dean said quickly. "I gotta keep looking."
He spent a little more time in the greenhouse, searching the devastation but then he kept looking for Cas. When he walked by a row of windows, he happened to peer out them and in the corner of his eye he saw something. Cas. It was Cas! But Lilith and Alistair were with him. "CAS!" Dean yelled to himself. He suddenly took off and flew down the stairs faster than he ever had before. He zoomed through the first floor hallway, passing an English teacher wheeling around a cart that he nearly knocked over, then leapt over a group of foreign exchange students as he made his way to the door. He kicked it open and soared out like an eagle. This was the back of the school which happened to be situated at the mouth of a vast forest. Across the baseball field there he saw Lilith and Alistair carrying Cas, one with his arms and the other with his legs. He squirmed about, shouting so loud that Dean could hear it from where he stood.
"CAAAAAASS!" He screamed as he ran across the field. It didn't take long and he caught up, but already were the bullies taking dirt and plants, obviously from the greenhouse, and smearing them all over Cas' face. Alistair held him down to the ground and Lilith kicked the greenery on him.
"Take your plants you little pussy boy," she said.
Dean ran up so fast that when he shoved Lilith out of the way, his sheer momentum pushed her back on her ass. Then he slugged Alistair right in the face. The bully managed to kick out and swipe Dean onto the ground, then he hit him in the face with his foot. Dean, bleeding from his nose, rolled over, snatched Cas out of the way then tackled Alistair to the ground. He punched him and punched him, straddling his waist and bleeding down on him. Hit after hit did Dean deliver to Alistair's face, rendering the bully helpless.
"SON OF A BITCH!" Dean cursed.
"STOP IT STOP IT!" Lilith screamed. "JUST STOP! STOP!"
Dean didn't care. He was hot with rage and blinded by anger. All he wanted was for Alistair to pay. How dare he do that to Cas? How dare he rob him of the only joy he had in life? But then another voice called out and Dean had to listen.
"DEAN! STOOOP!"
It was Sam. He had met up with Kevin, Gabe and Ms. Mills and now they were rushing across the baseball field to them.
"STOP IT DEAN!"
Dean ceased his punches but remained on top of Alistair. He looked up at Lilith, who covered her face with her dirty hands, and the over to Cas who was just lying on the ground in a heap.
"Dean Winchester," Ms. Mills gasped. "What are you doing?!"
Dean rolled off of Alistair and sighed. "They beat Cas up, they beat me up," he said, wiping the blood from his nose with a snort. Then he glanced at Sam and said, almost smiling, "Way to go, Sammy. You did a good job."
"Alistair? Lilith? Why…" Ms. Mills muttered.
"These are the kids who broke into the greenhouse," Gabe interjected. "See? See the dirt on their hands? They messed it up. I bet they have the key and everything on them."
As Ms. Mills and the boys handled their bullies, Dean crawled over to Cas and held him. "Cas, Cas," he whispered. "Hey, are you okay, buddy?"
"No," Cas mumbled. "The greenhouse…"
"It's okay, it's okay. Forget about it right now. I'm here for you. Try to relax."
"O-okay," Cas sighed.
Dean slipped out of his jacket and took his shirt off. "Kevin, you got any water?"
"Uh, yeah. How did you know?" Kevin asked as he took a bottle from his bag and tossed it to Dean.
"Brainy kids always keep their brainy brains hydrated." He caught it and poured some out onto his bunched up shirt, then took it and began cleaning Cas up. "It's okay, baby."
Kevin came around and sat beside them. "Are you alright, Cas?" he asked.
"I'm fine," Cas said. He turned into Dean's lap and held onto him, starting to cry.
"Shh, shh," Dean cooed, taking his hands through Cas' soft hair. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Let's get you home, right?" Cas nodded. "Ms. Mills? I'm going to take Cas home. I don't think he should be in class today."
"Erm, alright. Make sure you fill out a…ah, darn."
Dean managed to get Cas to cling onto his back and he carried him away from the field, back towards the front of the school.
"That's serious business," Dean explained to Cas. "Vandalizing school property. They might get expelled. Definitely suspended. That's cool, isn't it?"
"Yeah," said Cas. He clung to Dean's back firmly. "It is. But now my place is gone."
"Nobody's gonna mess with you after that," said Dean. "Abby and Meg are already terrified of you, and without Lilith and Alistair there won't be anybody to bother you."
"But my plants…"
"I'm sorry."
They got back to Dean's car and he set Cas inside the passenger's seat. He buckled him up and put a kiss on his still-dirty forehead. "How's that?" he asked in a hushed tone.
"Better," said Cas. "Thank you, Dean."
"Don't thank me. We've been over this."
He closed the door then went around to his side and climbed in. His backpack flopped onto the middle of the bench seat and he unzipped it. Cas watched curiously.
"I have something for you," said Dean. He reached inside and what he pulled out made Cas very, very happy.
"Is that…"
"The only plant that made it," Dean said. He took the little sprig of cilantro, sitting in a clay pot, and placed it into Cas' hands. "There're always more plants to grow, buddy."
"That's true," said Cas. He looked at the herb and smiled.
"Maybe one day we'll have our own greenhouse, huh?" Dean suggested and Cas nodded. They leaned in for a brief kiss just before Dean started the engine and drove home, singing along to some song whose fame had long since passed.