'TWAS THE MOMENT OF FLASHPOINT
'Twas the moment of Flashpoint, when all through the DC universe
Barry Allen was selfish, by making things worse;
He thought he could save dear ol' Mom and his Dad,
But instead altered the timeline, making everyone mad;
The end result: Wally as Kid Flash and Caitlin as Killer Frost,
Cisco's brother is now dead and poor Sarah Diggle became lost;
And with each time aberration, the world changed for good,
Leaving Laurel Lance a corpse and Martin Stein with a brood,
But that wasn't all that was done from this time hopping Flash,
Other DC heroes were affected, causing quite a chaotic mishmash.
Bruce Wayne was gunned down; his Dad turned into Batman,
While poor Martha Wayne became a psychotic Joker fan!
Superman was captured as the alien from Area 51,
And got all anorexic by not being exposed to Earth's red sun,
Aquaman battled the Amazons in a global civil war,
While Wonder Woman became an evil manhating whore.
Meanwhile, the Arrow and Flash villains waited for their time
To strike fear into the world with a long wish list of crimes,
Gathered together were Reverse Flash, Grodd and King Shark
Hearing the decrees from the likes Malcolm Merlyn and Damian Darhk;
"Attack, Weather Wizard! Go forth China White!
Show them no mercy, Count Vertigo, tonight!
From Starling to Central, we're the Legion of Doom
And at a snail's pace comes, Professor Zoom!"
Hence, the villainous Legion caused quite a bit of sorrow
Even defeating the so-called Legends of Tomorrow,
The White Canary is gone, Firestorm and Atom are down
Rip Hunter is lost while Heatwave remains a drunken clown.
And then, a snap, crackle, pop came from a portal nearby
As the Speed Force entered rather perturbed on the sly.
It danced in wild colors emitting yellow electricity,
Unlike the blue lightning Ezra Miller sports in the JL movie.
It looked at the time stream and shook its sparkling head,
And sighed in a feeling of uneasy, uncomfortable dread;
Did the Speed Force arrive just in time to correct the mistake?
Or was its arrival for naught? Was it too late?
"Oh crap!" It noted. "It is worse than I thought!"
"Everything is messed up. No wonder fans are distraught!
The comic canon is screwed! Grittiness in favor of bravery and shyness!
And I believe we're borrowing animal heroes from Earth C-Minus!"
"Then there is the casting and the script changes!
Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern? Talk about some rearranges!
I mean the actor is funny; Given, he's a tool,
He was better cast as Marvel's perfect Deadpool!"
"And don't get me started on DC's conundrum of a quad,
They ruined the Joker's role as well as the Suicide Squad;
A brooding Superman and murderous Batman, no less?
Thank God, Gal Gadot saved that sinking B. v . S.!"
"Screw it!" The Speed Force snapped. "I'm taking it all back!"
This power is a gift which these arrogant douches now lack!
Flashpoint is a lesson on time tampering, you greedy, little elves!
In fact, I'm leaving you all to clean up the mess yourselves!"
The Speed Force sparked away but not bestowing its power to Quicksilver,
Much better for a mutant than a Flash family of speed abusing meta-pilfers!
Rumor has it that all the speedsters in the universe are now slow moving schmucks!
Even the Speed Force agrees as it states, "MARVEL RULES! DC, YOU SUCK!"