Disclaimer: I don't own the Hobbit.

A/N: Hey, everyone! My name's Pollux! Long story short (if you ever want to hear the long story, let me know) I told Castor about this idea I had after read a lot of Hobbit fanfiction and she told me go for it, she'd support me and be my beta. For those of you who don't know, Castor and I are the Gemini Twins, we co-write a lot of stories together. So far all of them are Hetalia. We tried writing a Hobbit fanficiton once but it didn't work out. But this idea popped into my head and it wouldn't leave me alone. So here it is! I noticed everyone either wrote Middle-Earth or present time so I decided to try one in the future. If you've ever seen Firefly or Serenity by Joss Whedon, think that. Ye be warned! Spoilers and probably lots of OOC-ness

Enjoy! Please review!

The Halfling

January, 5014 Gondor

He was dead. Captain Thorin 'Oakenshield' Durin, Dwarf of the Erebor moon in the Khazad system was dead. And he knew it, if the handcuffs around his wrists and the cold steel chair he sat in were anything to go by. The impeccably dressed agent – Smith, if Thorin remembered correctly – standing by the door talking with his associate only added to that feeling.

Rubbing one thumb against the other, Thorin's mind wandered back to his little friend. He could still remember the horror on his little friend's face as Dwalin tried to beat back every man who drew near him. It was all in vain, though. They had been captured: the Dwarves arrested and the Halfling dragged away to cold examination tables and pointy needles.

Thorin's eyes flicked upward as Smith turned away from his associate with a nod and made his way to the steel table Thorin sat at. The Dwarf's handcuffs had been looped through a d-ring screwed into the table, disabling the movement of his hands.

"So, Thorin . . . Oakenshield, is it?" Smith asked, consulting a stack of papers in his hands. "Or is it Durin? I never can tell with you Dwarves." Thorin's eyes narrowed at that. Trust the Government of the Free Peoples to send a prejudice agent to interrogate him.

"Durin," Thorin said coldly. "Oakenshield is a name used only by my friends and enemies."

"In other words," the Man clarified. "Not for the use of the government." Thorin gave him a single nod and the man pulled back the second chair to sit down, crossing his legs at the knee. The papers in his hands were tossed onto the table. Thorin had a second to see a photo of himself before it was covered by a hand.

"Thorin Durin, captain of the Arkenstone," Agent Smith said. He drummed his fingers against the table. "Do you know why you're here today?" Thorin didn't grace him with an answer but for the growing glower. "You're wanted on multiple accounts of theft, black-market dealings, multiple accounts of murder, assault, fleeing authorities, breaking out of prison, resisting arrest, and the illegal kidnapping and possession of a Halfling." The small smile Thorin had made at the mention of 'breaking out of prison' vanished with the last accusation. "What do you have to say for yourself?" Agent Smith asked.

"Where is the Halfling?" Thorin asked.

"That is none of your business," Agent Smith snapped. "The Halfling has suffered enough in your hands. Preliminary examinations have revealed multiple scars around his ear, at the base of his neck, and down his right arm. What was your purpose for kidnapping the Halfling?"

"We did not kidnap him," Thorin said through gritted teeth. He would have continued if the agent had not interrupted him.

"Captain Durin, you and your crew are facing life in prison. According to the Restoration Act of the Fiftieth century it is against the law to remove a Halfling from a sanctuary. Your nephews and their friend . . ." the Man had to consult his notes once more. "Ori will be sent to a detention facility for youth when we have received their statement. You, though, you're going straight to prison."

"We did not take the Halfling from his sanctuary," Thorin repeated himself, his clenched knuckles turning white at the mention of his nephews. "We found him - ."

"And where do you just happen to find a Halfling? They're not exactly running amuck, now are they?"

"Yes, he was kidnaped. But we did not do it."

"There are thirteen Dwarves on your crew, correct?" Thorin nodded at that. "Nori and Dwalin are both more than capable of kidnapping a Halfling. You and Dwalin yourselves served multiple tours in the Khazad military."

"Nori is nothing more than an informant," Thorin said. He wanted nothing more than to either massage his temples or strangle the agent, maybe both. "Kidnapping is not his particular area of work."

"And yet he was caught attempting to release the Halfling from his room on this ship before he was arrested."

"And Dwalin has too much pride and honor to kidnap someone."

"Again, Dwalin attacked seven Men when we attempted to draw near the Halfling before he was restrained. One of those Men is currently in critical condition."

"Why would we want to kidnap a Halfling?" Thorin demanded. "Tell me that. What use is a Halfling to thirteen Dwarves?"

"Halflings can go for a very high price on the black-market," the Man pointed out. "We also have intel you used him when you recently reclaimed your home planet of Erebor. You sent him straight into a Dragon's lair without a single thought for his safety."

"Shut up!" Thorin roared in Khuz-dul, having reached the end of his rope. The agent's mouth clicked shut with a snap in surprise. "We did not kidnap the Halfling," Thorin said slowly as he tried to remain calm. "We found him abandoned. It happened late last year; September, I think."

"Are you issuing this as your official statement?" Agent Smith asked slowly.

"I am," Thorin said. "We had ventured out into uncharted Goblin territory when we ran across a ship. She was a Speeder 180 refurbished for the use of smuggling. We never once considered the black spider on the helm of the ship when we saw her . . ."

A/N: Again, feel free to review. Critics are welcome, flames are not (message me if you need to know what I personally consider a flame), and please, PLEASE give this a chance. I realize this is not your average Hobbit story. But I'm giving it my best. Toodles!