Dean couldn't help but shift in his seat as this uncomfortable feeling within him only kept growing, caused by two things. It was crowded in there, a little bar, overrun by more people than it could hold because there's been a massive thunderstorm going on for the last hour, sending lightning and lashing rain towards earth.
Normally, he wasn't one to be bothered by crowds, but this was way different. He knew he couldn't get out of here, or at least he didn't want to, considering the weather. Knowing this, another thing made its way to his mind, more and more each second, relentless and steady.
There was someone or something watching him. He'd noticed the minute he stepped foot in the bar, but no way he could've just turned around and walked away instead of staying. It was following him, wherever he went, whatever he did.
He did think about talking to Cass about this matter, but the angel had been absent and wouldn't come whenever he called. That feeling had been there for a few weeks instead, and it was slowly driving him crazy. He didn't want anything more that just getting rid of it.
The crowd didn't help. Even if whatever was watching him stood right next to him, human form and visible for anyone, acting like everyone else, he wouldn't notice. Hell, he wouldn't even be able to do something about it. There were too much witnesses and even if he didn't care about being seen killing someone or something, he'd probably not be able to move enough in order to fight properly. He'd end up killing an innocent bystander or getting killed himself because he couldn't react fast and good enough.
So Dean just continued sitting, bored and irritated, occasionally taking a sip of his beer, absently staring at the wall on the other side of the room. There wasn't anything interesting anyways.
Teenagers going on about their boyfriends, husbands complaining about not getting laid often enough, whatever pointless problems someone in this bar had, Dean felt like he knew by now.
Slightly annoyed, the hunter let out a sigh and palmed his cheek, resting his elbow on the table in order to close his eyes just for a minute. He seriously thought about giving a shit about the weather right now, just so he could escape this hole of seemingly endless misery and wretchedness.
Oh did he hate it. The life of a hunter was certainly a pain in the ass sometimes, accompanied by death, sorrow and despair, but he couldn't imagine dealing with things normal humans had to. Puberty had been okay. There wasn't anyone he had to impress after all, so bad skin or whatever didn't matter.
No one ever ran up to him, asking for advice how to pay their cheating boyfriend back or how to solve an equation they were stuck with.
As much as he sometimes regretted missing out on this normal life, he was actually happy most of the time. He's experienced this normal life on one or two occasions, but it really wasn't for him if he was honest.
And now, listening to all these - in his opinion pointless and stupid - problems and complaints, he hated it even more.
This was just ridiculous. He had to get the fuck out of there or he was sure to go insane, if he only had to hear one complaint he'd punch someone in the face no matter what.
With a whispered scoff, he got out of his seat and nearly pulled over his chair, resulting in a few people nearby jumping on his sudden disgruntled movement.
He left his half emptied beer at the table without a second thought, it didn't taste that good after all, and pushed by the people standing in his way, heading for the exit. He didn't care if he hit a few people with his elbows and ignored their displeased noises at his blunt actions.
As he stepped out of the building, he welcomed the fresh gust of cold air, an appreciated change from the stuffy room with its used one. He barely noticed he was soaked with rain in just a few seconds, it felt too good to finally be free from that uncomfortable ambience, bad air and the feeling of being watched on every movement.
He turned away from the rain, closed his eyes in relaxation and took in a deep breath, no matter the fact that the cold air hurt his lungs ever so slightly. But it was certainly worth it.
As he shoved his hands in his pockets in order to keep them warm, burying them as deep as possible, he began making his way down the street. He had his car parked a few minutes away from where he was, sheltered only by a defoliated tree, due to the late time of the year.
Gazing down at the asphalt to his feet in order to not get too much water into his eyes, he listened to the patter of raindrops and the splashing sounds his every step made, kind of calming. Even though he only heard his footsteps and there was no sign of another soul in the proximity, the uneasy feeling of being watched returned, or at least grew stronger again, enough to bother him.
He twitched a bit when his nose was hit by a rather large raindrop and Dean grimaced for a second, intuitively dragging a hand over his face, wiping the water off. To no avail, as he was soaked from head to toe, smallest droplets growing on his lashes after every blink.
He passed a shut down store, dark and abandoned, risked a look at the reflecting window to check if there was anyone standing in sight who could've just been perceived in a mirror, and shook his head at his own stupidity. The circumstances must've made him paranoid for sure.
The hunter took a deep breath, calming him down just for the moment and kept walking, speeding up a little to not let his beloved impala wait any longer. Lies, he didn't want to admit to himself he'd passed the point where he just intended on leaving this goddamn place, weather and feeling as soon as he was able to.
Soon he found the place where he'd left his car just around the corner and stepped into the alley, passing a few unfamiliar cars before finally looking up, lying proud gaze upon his own, undamaged and safe, Cass leaning against it. Dean furrowed his brows in confusion and growing anger, locking eyes with the angel who just casually lifted his head when the hunter arrived.
Castiel shifted his weight to stand without support by the impala, brows drawn near his eyes to keep the raindrops out and hands buried deep within the pockets of his trenchcoat, which clung soaked to his figure. Cass seemed bothered by the rainy weather, his hair stuck wet to his forehead, some strands ending just above his eyebrows.
Dean closed the gap within both of them, looking to both sides as he crossed the street and stopped right before Cass, just about to give him an utterly confused look. The angel wiped a few strands of hair out of his forehead and cleared his throat, making the hunter imitate his actions shortly after.
"What are you doing here, Cass?" Dean asked, searching his pockets for the keys. "Weather's shit."
"I noticed." the angel replied, lifting both his arms with sticking sleeves and looked down on himself, eyeing the wet cloth, cold and heavy.
"Yeah. So why did you come? Not like I asked you to get your ass over here. At least not today."
"Do I need a reason?" Castiel tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, narrowing his eyes at him.
Dean huffed and, shaking his head, pulled out the keys before shoving Cass out of his way. With shaking hands from the cold, he unlocked and pulled at the car door, opening it.
"Well, you do, Cass." the hunter blurted out, catching a glimpse of the angel who still remained where he'd been standing. "You only ever show up when you need something or there's a problem."
Before Dean had a chance of getting into the car, Castiel brought a hand between him and the impala, stopping him in his motion.
"Dean, that isn't true." he declared and bent over a little to look at him insistently. "I often come to check on you."
"Oh yeah, Cass?" Dean turned to face him in a sudden motion. "Then where the fuck have you been the last two weeks? Three, whatever."
The hunter spoke in such a calm manner, firm nonetheless, but Castiel could tell he was pissed. And he couldn't hold it against him.
"Dean-"
"No, don't dean me. You know what, fuck you, Cass." he snapped and quickly got into the car, slammed the door shut before getting out of his wet jacket, which he threw behind him.
Dean saw the angel appear in the corner of his eye, knocking at the window and symbolizing him to wind it down. He rolled his eyes and started the engine, but still followed orders.
"Cass, don't tread on me, got it?" With that he pulled out of the parking lot, Castiel quickly clearing the way for him to not get hit by the car in the process.
"Dean!" he shouted out in disbelief, apologetic and desperate to keep him from driving away. "Let me explain!"
The hunter shook his head and huffed, glanced into the driving mirror and watched the angel as he stood in the rain, hands raised from his sides a little in a disbelieving manner before they fell back when Castiel just kept staring.
Cass sighed, slouched his shoulders and looked down to the ground, not knowing what to do now, how to get through to Dean. His hair fell to his forehead again but he didn't make an effort to wipe it away.
As the distance between them grew wider with each second, Dean exhaled and dragged a hand through his hair, not knowing if he chose the most reasonable action. He had to admit, he acted rather rash.
But he had his reasons, Cass hadn't come for weeks no matter how much he prayed, no matter the danger he was in, neither Dean nor Sam had even heard a damn word from him. Dean would've been satisfied with anything, he was even to the point where he'd appreciated a burning bush, as long as he just had a sign Cass was safe and sound.
But nothing, for weeks. And now, out of nothing, Cass appeared before him, casually leaning against his impala, talking and acting as if nothing happened. He could do this to anyone, but not him, not without consequences.
Distorting his mouth in disbelief as he thought about it, how cocky the angel could be at times, how much he wanted to just slap him, Dean reached for the radio and turned it on.
The sound of a plain guitar filled the car, causing the hunter to occasionally tap to it with his fingers, which made a dull knock on the steering wheel, familiar to his ears, calming.
He couldn't remember what the song was or who sang it, but it was much to his liking, so it didn't matter.
Listening to the soft sounds of the guitar and the man's in contrary throaty voice had him sinking into a thoughtful state and he welcomed it, since he was averse to being mad and at the glimpse of exploding. It wasn't good for his stress level, he thought.
Cass had him feel like this a lot these days, especially when he obviously didn't even find a second to at least send a sign he was alive and fine, let alone to stop by.
Over the noise of the song and his own thoughts, loud in his mind, Dean heard his name being called and just when he turned his head, he noticed Castiel sitting on the passenger seat all of a sudden, tense and uneasy.
He jumped with fright a little, just so much that he didn't jerk the wheel violently enough to leave the road. When he'd calmed down enough to think again just a second later, he raised his brows and punched the dash slightly.
"Damn it, Cass, you're gonna get me killed!" he cursed and glanced at the angel, who'd suddenly appeared next to him, without allowance or invitation.
"I know you don't want me around right now, but let me explain." Castiel declared with rough voice, edgy and somewhat hasty, eager to justify himself.
"No, don't. Just... don't, okay?" Dean cut him off, pressing his flat palms to the steering wheel as he spoke, trying his best not to sound too angry, frustrated. "I'm done with your excuses, Cass."
The angel tilted his head and eyed Dean in confusion but didn't continue, didn't word any excuse, lie or truth to calm him down. It wouldn't have worked anyway, Dean was too stubborn and hurt right now.
"Dude I know, you were busy. Had to deal with so much other shit. So much going on." the hunter stated, almost a laugh in his voice, bitter though. "No time to fucking set a damn bush on fire."
Castiel narrowed his eyes, irritated by the statement, not knowing what Dean wanted to say. He knew what he was referring to, but not what it had to do with anything.
"Set a bush on fire?"
"Cass, get the message." he rolled his eyes and breathed out. "You weren't there. No sign you were watching over us or whatever, I didn't even know if you were alive. And that shortly after we, you, escaped purgatory? No, not okay."
Dean drew his elbow up to the window and let it rest there, leaned his head against his clenched fist and stared at the road before him, blank but sour.
"I'm sorry." Cass replied truthfully, his voice soft, silent and full with regret, it made Dean waver and his fingers played with the steering wheel absentmindedly.
"You just don't stay away for three weeks without a sign of life. Ever again." the hunter told him, more calm than before as his temper slowly set. "If you do, I'll beat you up."
"No mercy." the angel stated bluntly and glimpsed at Dean, not too obvious, trying to get his reactions right. Dean just nodded in silence and sighed, relaxed his muscles visibly and seemed more at ease overall. Definitely still pissed at him, but at least Dean didn't throw him out and left him standing alone in the rain again.
Both of them continued keeping silence, not feeling the urge to talk or interact as the mood was ruined, yet Castiel pondered if he should get out of his soaked coat as it still clung to his arms and body, uncomfortably and cold, bothering.
The air conditioning had warmed the car up to a nice temperature, but that didn't help much with the wet clothes. Castiel didn't freeze or sweat because of the fact that he was an angel, but he sure felt the cold and sticky cloth, and it wasn't exactly nice.
He shifted in his seat, desperately trying to get the trench coat off without brushing Dean's arm or getting in his way otherwise. It wasn't easy as the cloth stuck to him and he had almost no space, but he somehow managed to get his arm out of the sleeve.
"What 'ya doing? You stripping doesn't work for me, sorry." Dean joked when he laid eye on the angel's poor tries to free himself. Cass slowed down, almost stopped and looked at Dean for a few seconds, working jaw.
"Well, not your day, huh? Got your mind somewhere else?" the hunter noted with drawn up brows, pulling over to the side of the road to stop there. "Go on, change."
While Castiel attempted on getting out of his coat and loosened his tie, Dean put his head back closing his eyes, exhausted and tired, leaning against the headrest.
He'd escaped the nasty feeling of being observed but it still was on his mind, lurking in a dark corner of his brain, showing no evidence when it might return again. The suspense made him shudder.
Dean felt the cold creeping up in his bones, no matter the warm air around him. Getting rid of his heavy jacket before had been a good idea, though it didn't change the fact that he still had his shirt and pants on, shoes filled with water and hair all wet and sticky to his scalp.
The muffled rustling of wet cloth made him grip onto reality again, opening his eyes slowly, tired, and took a peek at the angel next to him who carelessly threw his clothes on the backseat.
Cass made an effort to unbutton his shirt but paused to glance at Dean, thoughtfully, and decided to restrain himself, slowly putting his hands down to rest on his lap.
The hunter suppressed a laughter and bobbed his head in appreciation, starting the engine again and sending his friend an amused look.
"Yeah, you sure know how to not make me uncomfortable more than you need to." he deadpanned and then frowned as he checked the road before he pulled the car over.
"You're uncomfortable?" Cass questioned, dead serious, slight concern in his words. Dean rolled his eyes but grinned at the lack of knowledge and understanding. "Cass, just don't go full naked."
"You'd not enjoy the view?" Castiel tried to joke, having Dean look at him with furrowed brows, processing the statement and message.
"Don't get me wrong, no body-shaming intended." he retorted, pulling up the corner of his mouth in amusement, winking at the angel. "But I don't think you're my type."
A light smile laid on Cass' lips as he let his eyes wander, shaking his head slightly at Dean's sense of humor.
He remembered when they first met, hostile towards each other, without any kind of trust or bond. Hell, Dean wouldn't even really believe him he was an angel when he showed his wings back then.
At the time, Castiel didn't have any understanding of standards and things humans held precious, no sense of humor at all as he didn't know what was funny about it, and no real liking to any of it.
Now he enjoyed it, he liked spending time with Dean, he joked around with him, felt close to the boys and almost considered their company as home. He didn't really belong to heaven anymore, most of the angels resented him, held his love towards humanity against him, they even cast him out of heaven more than just once.
He felt like he found a new home in wherever Dean and Sam were, a place where he belonged, it was good and calming, pleasant.
"You wanted to say something before." Dean broke the silence, locking curious gaze with the angel, just for a second before paying attention to the road again. "You wanted to explain something, what was it?"
"Doesn't matter." he rejected, taking some seconds to think, choose the right words. "Nothing of importance anyway."
"I'd like to know." the hunter stated and looked at him again, eyes wide in a demanding manner, not accepting any excuses at this. Cass wavered, shifted and stared out of the window embarrassed, contemplative.
"I didn't feel like it." he then conceded, voice low, gaze turned towards his hands in his lap. Dean furrowed his brows in confusion and looked asquint at him. "Feel like what?"
"Like showing up." Cass almost whispered as he knew what he'd cause by saying this, but Dean wouldn't take any further lies fur sure.
"Are you kidding me?" Dean blurted out, tilting his head to scowl at the angel in disbelief. "You abandoned me because you, what, felt a little depressed?"
Castiel exhaled and dragged a hand through his hair, leaning his head back desperately, staring at the top of the car. "Dean, I did not abandon you."
"Damn sure felt like it, Cass!" he huffed, voice angry and rough, feeling a little betrayed deep inside. "You don't understand, Dean. I couldn't. But I thought about it every day."
"Oh, that makes it all better, you thought about it." Dean scoffed at him and shook his head energetic, speeding up the impala in anger. "Didn't help me though."
"You're going too fast, calm down." the angel told him, staring at Dean until he finally slowed down again after a few moments. "I had my reasons. You wouldn't understand."
"Yeah, I don't want to, either." Dean sighed and gazed to the right where Cass returned the look, remorse and pain in his expression. "I just wanna punch you in the face instead."
Castiel stayed silent, didn't reply anything and just kept staring, unaltered expression and emotion reflecting in his gaze, opening a window to how he felt.
Dean gritted his teeth, exhaling a deep breath, sour because of his angel friend, who didn't know better. He spent a few seconds watching as raindrops streamed down his the window on his side, silent and somewhat beautiful, before he turned his head again.
"Cass-" he interrupted himself when he noticed the angel was gone, leaving a yawning void where he should have been.
Dean shuddered at the thought, suddenly very uncomfortable about Castiel missing, and it bothered him that he might not see him for a long time again.
He hit the seat with his fist, desperate, angry, partly at the angel for just leaving without a word, partly at himself for causing him to. He dragged a hand over his face, resting just above his forehead before grabbing the steering wheel again, tight, so that his knuckles stood out white.
"Cass, you fucking asshole."
Castiel, hurt and distressed by how his friend acted, didn't want to understand, sat on the backseat, however invisible for the hunter. Eyes sad, directed at Dean, not wanting to fight over this anymore as it ached him, upset him, but still not willing to leave Dean's side no matter what.
Hope you enjoyed this first chapter of my new - actually first - Supernatural fanfiction.
I'll be uploading as soon as I have new chapters, and since I am kinda obsessed with Supernatural and writing, it'll not take long.
Also, English isn't my native language so there might be some mistakes here and there, just ignore them if possible.
Last but not least, I hope you'll like this work, whatever may come!