"It's enough for me that you are somewhere here, and I won't lose my desire for life yet. Is it enough for you?"
-The Brothers Karamazov
He was always too good
for someone (something) like you
and you know that
you've never denied that.
You were just a side project
an experiment amongst friends
(because he was always one who wanted
to try everything.)
It was great
no, it was bloody brilliant
the feeling of his toned arms around you
the taste of his tongue meeting yours
the look in his eyes.
He understood in a way
no one else could
(not even Sirius.)
And that was your downfall
your mistake.
You let yourself be too attached
to someone who's heart wasn't
made for you.
You couldn't keep it
you couldn't hold onto it
(it was like trying to hold on to water.)
No matter how right it felt
when you two were t&o&g&e&t&h&e&r
James was made for Lily
(not you)
and there's not one thing you can do
to change that.
x x x x x x x x x x x x
Now that it's over
now that he's won the flower he's been wanting
you are all
a l o n e
but you always knew that it would turn out like this
( you were never meant to be happy.)
They are the picture-perfect pair
in everyone's eyes
but you can't help but notice
that he doesn't seem as happy as he should be
that there's something just
w r o n g
with his smile…
No, no, it couldn't be
because that Gryffindor has
e v e r y t h i n g
he's ever wanted.
He has to be perfectly content.
It's you who isn't all right
(not him)
because he never really liked you like that
he never was attached
he never wanted it to actually last
right?
…there's something in the way his
eyes
meet yours
that tells you that he isn't quite as happy
as he thought he would be.
The quote at the beginning is from Fyodor Dostoyevsky's book "The Brothers Karamazov." I just finished that book and really recommend it! It's truly amazing.
:)
This is for mew because she has recently fallen in love with Jamus and really wanted me to write one. After much agonizing and self-bashing, this is what I wrote. Hopefully all you Jamus fans like it.
:D
Thanks mew for betaing! Like my other fic, I'm sure you're the only one who will understand the title, haha.