Midori: Um... I don't know how to put this... I'm actually crying while I'm typing this. I just... There are absolutely no words to say about my sudden disappearance. It's been so long and... I'm so sorry. I want to make it up by updating every book I have here, and that would mean I'm putting my other books on Wattpad on a hiatus because there are two entirely different stories here, and there as well. But... I want you all to know that... I'll try. Thank you all for being patient with me :)
Meanwhile before I update some one-shots here, I'll just give you all an angsty Add x Ara one-shot. DExSD, to be specific. Feel free to give me any critic, any opinion from my precious readers are appreciated and taken into deep consideration.
Trigger warning for major character deaths and attempts of suicide.
A bit of a Modern!AU, I guess...
He was broken, alone. Even though he had "friends," he was aware it was all a lie. A damned facade. They say they understand him, that they feel the same way, and that they were going through the same problems like his , but in truth, it was only out of pity that they befriended him. Those false comforting words were nothing but trash to him.
He didn't feel accepted. Welcomed. He lost everything he valued, the village he grew up in, the knowledge that ultimately got him this far, and most importantly, his mother. He loved her so dearly, just like any young child would. He attempted to bring her back, but... it seems that his efforts were for naught. He discovers the timeline where his family wasn't slain, but at the same time, he sees the much more prosperous counterpart of him, and that brought him to the brink of insanity.
He didn't show how he truly felt. He just wore a fake, stern mask. He hid his struggles, his pain, his everything. He had built a wall to surround him and keep the pain to himself. He didn't want others to be involved. He didn't want them to be in pain like him. But at the same time, he found it unfair. Why was he the only one suffering? Those unaware smiles drove him mad, and the voices echoing in his mind kept getting stronger and stronger.
She was a fragile, innocent girl. Naive. Her isolation resulted in fear of the outside world. Ignorance, horror, and all the other negative emotions. Because she'll never know what will happen to her. The world was cruel, her ancestors quote. And she would prefer no pain felt. But after her family was slain, she trapped herself in her home. She tried to forget everything, days and nights passed, and yet to no avail.
Was this how pain felt? She asks herself everyday. The... sensation of your heart clenching, tears dripping from your eyes, and the memory of the happier and lighter days haunting you?
She then remembers her mother's words. "Explore the outside. It is not as bad as what your ancestors think it is." Tears well up once again as she attempts to exit the confines of her room.
Just... once.
And then... she met him.
That snow-white hair flowing weakly in the winds, those bright and unique magenta eyes, pale skin, and a scar running down his cheek. She found him... interesting.
"Please... Let me experience what it is like to live on the outside world...!" Her pleas seem to never reach him. She begged and begged, but all she got was the very same answer from the beginning. A "no."
He simply felt that he wasn't the right person. Maybe... there could be someone else? But all she did was pester him, and eventually, he gives in. And a thought appeared in his mind.
Who could reject such a request from a girl like her?
His mind was in shambles. He didn't want to stain her, to ruin her with his dirtied hands. She was too innocent for her own good. Yet, a part of him deep down wanted to have someone to share the pain with, to have someone listen to him. Maybe... he wanted company...?
In the end, he still wears the mask that hid everything. Surrendering to her pestering, he decides to show her around. One by one, he reminded himself. Just do it slowly.
"Hey... will you show me how it's like to feel... happiness?"
Her sudden favor caught him off-guard. When was the last time he felt the so-called emotion, happiness? Joy or mirth was never his concern anymore.
"I... don't know how." Was all he could utter. He could feel the disappointment emanate from her, and all he does is give her hair a very soft pat.
"I apologize. Even I don't know what it's like to be happy anymore. I can no longer feel mirth." They make eye contact for a split second, the ebonette seeing the dullness of his eyes, and the albino feeling the aura of hope and naivety in her amber-colored orbs.
Time soon passes, with the female, visiting him every so often. They would have a few chats here and there, but other than that, it was nothing but comfortable silence. Their bond eventually strengthens, reaching to the point of revelation and elucidation.
However, both of them were not yet ready. Not prepared to tell the other about their sufferings.
And from there, everything begins to slowly collapse, the downfall occurring.
She no longer visited his home, she somehow stopped communicating with him, and he couldn't see that hopeful face of hers. How long has it been when it all started? He asks himself. Yet, even his self-conscious is not aware.
She had given him her address a few days after their agreement. So he decides to come over her home. Thinking of it now, this was the first time he actually visited a person's home.
As he makes his way toward her home, he can't help but feel panic. His steps were gradually becoming faster, and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. He had a bad feeling, and if it was him who had it, then it would be something very serious.
He knocks on the medium-sized wooden door softly. After waiting for a few moments, there were no answers. He tried again, this time a bit louder than before. Same response. He gazes at the doorknob, his hand cautiously taking a hold of it.
The weak sound of creaking was heard as he spins it. It was... unlocked? He makes his way inside, only the scent of lemon, tea, and honey lingering welcomed his presence. He trudges around, searching for any sign of her. Every furniture of hers were neatly arranged, and they all bore a Chinese-style design and orange colors. Variations of hues were everywhere.
He couldn't find her there. Maybe in her bedroom?
He stands before a white-colored door and knocks on it. No response again. He was increasingly becoming more nervous. But then, a strange scent wafted into his senses. A metallic stench.
He gulps as he reaches for the knob, bile quickly rushing up to his throat. Please... Don't be what I'm thinking about...
The sight he encounters made his heart clench. His eyes dilated at what was in front of him. He shook uncontrollably, his legs threatening to collapse.
The girl who befriended him laid there, a bloodstained knife embedded into her abdomen. She was smiling, and beside her was a letter, along with a lone Violet. Her clothes painted crimson red, her skin made even more pale, and her helpless body made him feel it all over again. Pain and despair gnawing his heart again.
Wrapping an arm around her back, he hugs her figure tightly, feeling the tears falling. He then picks up the letter along with the Violet. He bites back a sob as he begins to read the smudged handwriting.
"To my dearest and only friend,
I'm so sorry you had to see me like this. I... couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to tell you how much I was suffering inside, but I knew you wouldn't care. However, my perspective changed when I saw those dull yet beautiful eyes. I knew you were in pain, too. And I probably was just a nuisance to you, huh? I just want to thank you. For giving me a chance.
There was an odd feeling I had whenever I was with you. My heart was beating quicker than normal, and I felt myself become warm in your company. I was wondering... You were a scientist, yes? If so... Do you think you can explain what I'm feeling right now? I want to know if this was happiness.
However... I may never know the answer. By the time you're reading this, I have become deceased. I hope you like this Violet I got for you.
Thank you... so much.
We will meet again.
Somewhere.
Yours truly, the girl whom you had taught happiness to."
His hands unconsciously gripped the letter tighter as he felt more and more tears dripping. Why... Why did she have to leave him too? It was so difficult to accept it, they were both ready to reveal, and yet, reality had been cruel again and took her away too. She reminded him so much of his mother, caring, gentle, honest, and kind. Losing her felt like losing his mother all over again.
He decides to remove the knife from her abdomen, not giving a care if her blood had gotten all over his clothes. He then smiles as he realizes. Maybe... all he needed was rest. The world hated him, despised that he lived, so what was the point of living when no one cares for you? If he could... close his eyes permanently.
He gently lets the girl down as he laughs silently. He had made his choice.
Raising the knife above him, he swiftly injures his abdomen, the same area where the girl he realized he loved killed herself with. He feels the darkness coming to him, the mixture of red and black flooding his vision as he drops beside her. With his remaining strength, his bloody hand caressed her cheek softly. He didn't want to taint her any further, so he mutters a weak apology.
He then entwines his hand with hers, smiling with satisfactory as he let the darkness fully consume him.
"Wait for me..."
The two teenagers laid there, both accepting their tragic fate.
END
And... that's the end. I intended to mix a bit of the modern!AU with their time so I apologize if I stirred up some confusion. And yes, I made Aren/Ran dead here, too. Again, I hope you enjoyed this tragic one-shot, and I hope to see you again in future updates.
Farewell~!