A/N: This is an effect of one and a half month of almost no writing and definitely too much chocolate. We're begging for your forgiveness ;) and also sorry for bad English for it's not our mother language…
Old Patient Uncle Voldie the playLondon; Lord Voldemort, commonly known as Old Uncle Voldie, walks along the street, people run away at the very sight of him; all of the sudden Voldie is hooked by a child who's eating the biggest lollypop Voldemort has ever seen in his relatively long life. Oh, well. Let's get it started finally!
A random unnamed five-year-old Muggle child: tugs Voldie's sleeve
Voldie: What do you want, kid?
Child: Why don't you have a nose?
Voldie shocked: I… Do you ask this question every person in the street?
Child: Most of them have noses. Why don't you have one?
Voldie sarcastically: I had it amputated long time ago.
Child: What is this ampu-something?
Voldie sarcastically: It means I had it cut off.
Child: Like, really? But how? With a knife like the one Momma has in the kitchen?
Voldie sarcastically: Yes, you could say so.
Child: But how big? Like this? shows how small with his fingers Or this? shows how big with his fingers, again
Voldie sarcastically: Bigger.
Child: Ow! Do they even have such big knives?
Voldie tired: I believe so. Don't you really have anything more interesting to do than talking to a bald, noseless stranger in the middle of the street?
Child not paying attention: But why did they cut your nose? Did you do something bad?
Voldie sarcastically: No, I just wanted to have piercing.
Child: But I don't see any piercing in your nose…
Voldie sarcastically: That's because I don't have a nose. I had gangrene, probably too big word for you but whatever, and they cut it off. Now, will you let me pass?
Child: No. I still have hundreds of questions!
Voldie sarcastically: …
Child: Are you in a rock band?
Voldie: I'm… In a WHAT?!
Child: In a rock band. My brother says that every rock guy has a piercing.
Voldie annoyed: Do I look like a rock guy, whoever that is?
Child: I don't know. I have never seen one. Will you be my first rock guy friend?
Voldie annoyed: Sure, sure.
Child: Yay!
(a second later)
Voldie: Can I go now? I'm already late for my Death Eater Meeting Club…
Child: Death Eater? Do they really eat death? (after a while) How do you eat death?
Voldie sarcastically: Me personally prefer using a spoon.
Child: shrugs
Voldie: What?! Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my nose?
Child: You don't have a nose…
Voldie sarcastically: Oh, right. Crap.
Child: Don't swear.
Voldie: I'm not swearing.
Child: Yes, you do!
Voldie: You say: 'yes, you are'.
Child resentful: I'm not. I don't even know any curses.
Voldie: evil laugh, I bet. Will you at last stop annoying me?
Child: pouts, eyes filling with tears
Voldie horror-struck: Don't you dare crying on me, you hear that?
Child: makes even bigger eyes
Voldie desperately: Do you want my wand? I can give you my wand. Just don't cry! pulls out his wand
Child happily takes the wand, tears already forgotten: Okay. walks away
Voldie: scratches his bald head: Did I just give my precious unbeatable wand to a random unnamed five-year-old Muggle child? (after a while) shrugs
This aforementioned random unnamed five-year-old Muggle child stops and reads an inscription on the wand "Don't use unless casting Avada Kedavra curse"; turns around and points the wand at the only person in sight which means Old Uncle Voldie.
Child: Okay. Why not try it? Avada Kedavra.
Voldie famous last words: Oh, crap.
Moral from this tale is trivially simple, my little brothers: adults, don't be sarcastic towards random unnamed five-year-old Muggle children. And children, don't hook bald noseless strangers who happen to call themselves Old Uncle Voldie, more commonly known as Lord Voldemort. Simple enough? End of story. bows