Cyber Ianto
Summary: We all wear masks but Ianto's is stronger than most. Set pre-Cyberwoman. Ianto/Lisa Ianto/Jack. One-shot or maybe two if I decide to do a post Cyberwoman look to see how things have changed.
Timeline: Sometime before Cyberwoman.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of its characters. Just borrow them occasionally to have a little play.
I'm a little worried about how well I hide my feelings, how well I quash my reactions. Smiling and serving, sunshiny bright. It's like I don't exist, just a glassy wall. Because sometimes the mask is so secure that I don't feel, don't react. Just be. A proper butler, proper whore.
We all wear masks, put a face on to face the day. Face forward, leave ourselves behind. Face her, face him but she doesn't see you, he doesn't see you. Doesn't see me. I should say me, but me is lost, you know? Lost in blood and metal and plastic.
Blood dripping on plastic sheets. Life hadn't been normal for a long time, but it was exciting weird, not rip your heart out of your chest and your brain out of your skull weird. That's what they did, those metal monsters. Tuned skin to metal and blood to stone. Fixed my mask so I can't see anymore and no one can see me.
And the mask doesn't slip, even when I touch her, tend to her. Cause she can't see me break. She doesn't break. Smiley face, scrunched in pain. Immobile body, claims me with her words, my boyfriend, my saviour, what would I do without you, I love you so much. Her words were the only things that reached me, the only things that bound. I held to her words, my only link with humanity.
But humanity came and hit me in the face, smashed my mask, stripped my skin. His words, his touch, his movement. Jack, so alive, so real, I shatter inside him. In the dark, dreams and reality. Funny that when I'm with him, when he's in me, is the only time I don't feel like a whore. The only time I feel and show I feel, loud and violent and real.
Well as real as I'm going to get, because he wears a mask too. Globe of light held at a distance. I see him but don't see him, feel him but don't feel him. And my mask is so strong, emotions buried so deep, I don't know if it's because of him or me. Maybe both. Like draws like. What's his cyberwoman?
But it won't last, moment of brightness in a dark world. I feel him drift from me. Unlike her, he needs humanity and I have so little to give. Because the conversion is almost complete. Release him and hold her. When I feel nothing I will be the next level of mankind.
Author's note: Please review. Did it make sense or was I being too esoteric? My traffic counter isn't working so I won't know that you've read it unless you tell me.