A taste of what's to come.
ffnet/~cornwiper

Life can change so drastically. So quickly.

As I walk through the door of this dilapidated old building, closing my eyes, as if that will soften the blow, but I know it won't, I think of where I was a mere two weeks ago.

A mere one week ago.

Yesterday.

I look forward to the bed. To the roof over my head. Not sleeping in an alley, not looking for warmth around a trash-can fire.

I'll find new reasons to cry myself to sleep in this place.

Rouge, and she does this little half-turn and looks back at me so seductively, and she says

Welcome home.

Her name is Rouge, and she's a bat. Everything about is wrong, but presents itself in just the right way. I get it, but in a way, I've fallen victim to her charms in worse ways than men have.

She saw potential. I saw a bed. I saw a warm breakfast. I saw survival in her seductive eyes. I saw another chance, as dirty as it was, and I fucking took it.

This is what happens when you lose your parents at sixteen in Station Square. This is what happens when you're left with nothing but debt. This is what happens when you're emotionally and physically broken.

This is what happens.

She takes me to my room. I say my room as if I have any kind of ownership of it. Silly me. She takes me to the room in which I get to sleep. The room in which I get to sleep with three other girls. She introduces me to my roommates.

"Cream," the rabbit says, reaching her hand out to shake mine.

Amy. Nice to meet you.

Extend my hand to the other roommate, but she just says "Cosmo," nodding towards me while keeping her eyes pointed toward the floor in my general direction. It was as if she couldn't look me in the eye. It was as if she couldn't look anybody in the eye.

I drop the bag at the foot of my bed and sit down. I don't have much, little more than what Rouge gave me.

"You'll get used to it," Cosmo says, looking at her own feet. "We all do.."

And for the first time, her eyes meet mine.

And my eyes fill with tears.

And I can't look at her.

I look at the floor.

Rouge is gone, and the girls are moving closer.

Half-hugging me in a way that doesn't tell me it's okay, but that they understand.

"You're lucky," Rouge says, dragging me by the hand into the back room. "You caught the eye of one of our best customers. He wants to take your virginity."

I shudder at the thought, following her down the red velvet hallway. "I'm meeting him now?" my voice manages to squeak out through my nervous voicebox.

"No, ma'am," she says, smiling as she stops at the doorway and spins around to look me in the eye. "Just how much a virgin are you?"

The look in her eye tells me that the answer doesn't even matter. I lower my head and shake it. I don't know how to tell her that I've never done anything with a boy. I once kissed a girl, but that was just to see what it was like. And neither of us knew what we were doing.

I don't know how to tell her I don't know how to do anything. So, I don't. I just blush, hide my face and shake my head.

She giggles. And that scares me even more. Because that tells me it doesn't matter how much I know. This person - these people. They're going to teach me.

"What's your name?" he asks, arm snaking its way around the back of my neck. "My name's Antoine."

I'm Amy, I stutter. I don't know what else to say. My first inclination is to ask him what he wants me to do. But I'm too afraid to ask him that right away.

Half of me wants to get this over with. The rest of me has cold feet. The rest of me wants to run as far and as fast away from this as I can.

But I can't.

I can't directly look at him. I can't look away from him. I look at his feet. Cosmo must be new, like me, I mutter to myself.

"What was that, lovely?" he says.

Sorry, I say. I've never done anything like this before.

"Don't worry, lass," he says, cradling my head towards his. "I'll teach you."

Okay, I say, staring into his piercing blue eyes that seem to tell me it's gonna be okay. Staring into his piercing blue eyes that are definitely lying.

I take a deep breath as he leads me down to his lap.

I want to cry, but I'm strong enough not to.

I want to beg, but I already know.

My life is out of my control.

It always has been, I think to myself as I accept his dick into my slack jaw. Tongue nervously roaming around the head until I accept him into my throat.

At which point I gag.

He lets me up to take a breath of fresh air and asks me if I'm all right. I lower myself down on him again and I muffle out an "mmhm."

I know it's a lie. He might know it, too. But I push myself down further. And further.

I'm choking.

"Rhythm," he says. "Keep in mind. You need rhythm,"

Up and down. I start to pay attention to his body language. When he squirms, when he thrusts. When to slow down. When to speed up.

And finally he cums in my mouth. And I want to throw up, but I can't. I'm not allowed to. I raise my head, tilt it back, and swallow.

He tells me I'm a good girl. He tells me I did okay for my first time. It's almost impossible to not cry in front of him. It's almost impossible to take everything he says with a smile.

But I do.

And when he leaves, I let myself go. I cry.

Rouge comes in, smile not faltering at the condition I'm in. Happiness not fading at the realization I've come to at the corrupt version of myself I've become. She's used to this. She's seen it many times before.

And she manages to tell me, without that look on her face faltering, not one bit, she manages to say;

"Your next customer is here, whenever you're ready. Try not to take to long."

And I cry. I cry harder than I ever have before.

Sonic.

Somic the hedgehog. I don't know what to say when I step in the room. I don't know what to say at all. I feel as if I'm broken.

Silenced.

I feel stupid. I feel dirty. I feel lost.

He smiles at me and motions over to the spot next to him on the bed. I don't know what else to do but comply.

I sit next to him and he looks down at me over his left shoulder, smiling. But he's not happy, I can tell.

"People can be rough here," he says, turning towards me. "Downright inconsiderate. I noticed you were a first timer, and I dunno. I kinda wanted it to be less painful than it had to be."

What do you mean?

"I dunno," he says."I'll slow down when you want me to. Stop when you want me to. I want you to get used to it before you, know. You get used, I guess."

I don't know exactly what I'm doing when I kiss him on the mouth. Eyes closed, lips pressed against his. Pull back as my eyelids flutter open and I look him straight in the eye. My heart racing, my thoughts, a mess.

"I'd choose to not take you if you could," he says nervously, eyes darting around the room. "But that would just make it harder when you did have to... you know."

He's a nice man. I guess he's about the nicest man I'd have to look forward to in a place like this. I lay down on the bed, flat on my back, and I tell him to take me.

And nervously, he climbs on top of me, and he tells me it's okay. I tell him the same. We lie to each other, and it's okay.

And he forces himself into me, and it he hurts. I whine, and he stops and asks if it's okay. I tell him it is. I lie to him. Because this is the best it's going to get.

And he's rocking back and forth on top of me, ripping me apart, making me want to cry, but I don't, I'm stronger than this.

And he's asking me if I'm okay, but I'm not, I'm not okay, and I don't know how to respond to this.

I just don't know.