This fic is a birthday gift to a friend of mine.
Happy Birthday to Liel! :)
This fanfic was something I had planned to write for a long time now, but never had the motivation to do so until now, mostly because I finally had gotten a good motivation to do so.
Yes, it does have excerpts from the visual novel. If you recognize them then great, but no plagiarizing is intended and this is merely my own take on the events of the novel.
This is my first (serious) fanfic and I am not sure I would write anymore, so be gentle with the reviews!
Now let's begin!
The man waited.
Who was he waiting for? He was waiting for the boy.
Why was he waiting for the boy? He was waiting for him to finally show him the futility of his ideal. The futility of trying to save everyone. The futility of trying to be a hero.
The man knew this futility well. After all, he himself tried to walk that very path. Yet, no matter what he did, it was all for naught. For every person he saved, another would perish. Helping others without regard to himself, he walked the path of justice, and in the end it ruined him.
The man was lost in thought until he heard the rustling of the grass behind him.
He had come. The boy arrived to meet his destiny.
The man turned to face the boy, and saw the determination in his eyes.
"I see you are prepared." The man said.
Wordlessly, the boy poured power into his arms, and in his hands swords appeared. Two nameless blades that shone beautifully in the moonlight.
"You," the boy began "Why would you go this far?"
Ever since the two had met, the man always stood in the boy's path. Always stopping him from helping others, always threatening to kill him should he attempt to do so again.
It took a while for the boy to understand why the man had always impeded his progress. The boy had hated the man from the very first moment they met, yet he always felt that he was learning something from him. His skills had improved dramatically in a short amount of time, yet he never understood why he learned so much from someone he hated just as much.
"Because it seems you will never understand with words. You will never understand the mistakes you will make in the future as long as you continue pursuing the path of being a hero of justice."
Imitating the boy, the man materialized similar swords in his hands.
"Since it seems that you cannot live on without that dream,"
The man charged at the boy.
The boy readied himself for battle.
"Then drown to death carrying it!"
The sound of clashing steel erupted in the moonlight.
LINEBREAK
Why would the man impede the boy's path?
It is because the man experienced the pain of pursuing it. The path of being a superhero, who stands up for the innocent and punishes the evil.
It is because the man is the boy. More specifically, the man is the direct result of what the boy would become should he walk the path of justice.
The ideal to become a hero is a great one, and yet…why is the man so bitter?
The man used to believe in the ideal as much as the boy. During his early years, he did the same things the boy did. He also strove for justice and good, and he always showed mercy even to his enemies.
But as he got older, he found that benevolence is not as pure as he thought it was.
He fought to protect. He fought to save everyone. He fought without regard to his own good. He sacrificed all that was important to him in order to chase the ideal.
But at the end of the road, the ideal betrayed him.
At one point, the man found himself unable to save a hundred people. Not willing to allow them to die, he made a pact. A pact with the world. The pact he made with the world was simple: In exchange for becoming a guardian after his death, he would receive the power needed to save the people in danger.
And so the world answered.
And yet, despite the man's efforts, people suspected him. A man who did not ask for any reward and did not speak to anyone. However, He never asked for any reward, because the very act of saving people was his reward. He never spoke to anyone about anything because he had nothing to talk about.
But in the end he was betrayed. In the end, he was blamed for the disasters and captured by the very people he saved, and was executed. But he did not mind, for even in death he would be able to save people. At least, that is what he believed.
The clashing of swords continued. The man's relentless strikes pushed the boy back again and again.
From above. From below. From the side. The attacks that threatened to end the boy's life were deflected a mere second before they hit. The boy was not at the man's level, yet he pushed himself beyond his limits.
The man knew where his determination came from.
"Are you sure you want to become a hero?" he asked the boy
Then, that determination would soon break when the boy would understand the truth of the ideal.
"I don't want to become one. I will become one!" The boy screamed back.
"Yes," the man responded "You need to become a hero. Because that is your only emotion. An emotion you can neither betray nor deny. Even if that wish is not born from within you."
The boy falters.
"What?"
The boy has to deny these words. Should the man continue, the foundation of the boy will crumble.
"I can barely remember it even now. The flame engulfing everything around me, filling my vision with ruin and destruction. Walking between the ashes of my home, watching as many helpless others burned to death. And me not being able to help them. Me being too weak and too helpless to help them."
The fight stopped momentarily. The man needed the words to sink in to the boy. To make sure he understood his own weakness.
The boy remembered that scene as well. After all, the man and the boy were the same person. They shared a common origin. A common beginning. The scene of the fire was the furnace that forged them into who they are today.
"The smile on his face as he found me. The look of utter relief and happiness that he managed to find at least one person to save from the flames. When I saw that smile, I was happy. When I saw it, I realized how much I wanted to be happy like him. To save people and bear a smile that could make me happy."
The boy remembered that moment as well. He remembered what he thought at the time when he saw that smile.
He thought it was beautiful.
"That's right. You didn't feel guilty for being the only one who survived. You just admired that man. The man who would later become your father. You wanted to become like him because of how happy he was when he saved you."
The father saved the boy from that hell. Then it was natural for him to admire him.
"Yet you went too far. It would have been fine if you had only admired what he wanted to become. Yet, in the end, you took his wish upon yourself. That ideal became everything to you."
The boy remembered another scene. Sitting with his father on the porch of his home. The last day his father would be alive. The boy made a promise that day.
I will make your wish come true.
That is what he said to his father. His father smiled for the last time, and replied.
I'm glad.
At that moment, the father died. At that moment, the boy's path was set. He had to become a superhero no matter what. From that moment on, he would sacrifice his existence for others.
His father was an empty man. He had, from his childhood, always sacrificed all that was important to him. His parents, his friends, everything that he ever cared for was sacrificed for the ideal.
Later on, as he grew, he sacrificed his wife and child. All for the sake of the ideal.
Yet, like the man, he realized that it was all for naught. That it was impossible, that it was wrong. Yet it was the only path available for the father. It was the only way he could live, the only way he could survive without breaking down and dying.
And that wish was passed on to his son.
The impossible wish to save others was not dreamt by the boy, but by the father.
The boy's ideal was borrowed. A fake. A mistake. He was only imitating what his father wanted to become, only imitating what his father thought was right.
"A hero?" The man said "Do not make me laugh. The wish to save people is not even your own. You are stupid to think that such a person could save anybody!"
He slashed at the boy. A strike that would spell certain death.
The boy narrowly blocked the strike with all his might. His body was screaming at him to give up. To give in. To realize the mistake he had made and to just die.
In that blow, the boy could feel the man's contempt. His anger. His sorrow. His bitterness at realizing that awful truth far too late.
Yet something surprising happened. For a moment, the boy could no longer see the man. His body moved to protect him, yet his vision was filled with the man's memory.
In the vision, he saw the man. The man was in a faraway village in a faraway place.
The man stood above a small girl. A girl who by the world's will had to die.
The man did not become a guardian of the people after his death. No, he became something akin to a cleaner. An existence whose sole purpose is to save humanity from itself. He would appear only when a great disaster that threatened humanity would appear.
And that disaster was often brought to being by humanity itself.
So the man found himself killing people to save more people. He killed one person to save ten, ten to save a hundred, a hundred to save a thousand. He found himself in a vicious cycle in which he could only kill to save.
The man looked at the terrified girl below him. He knew the girl had done nothing wrong her whole life. She was a small existence who had only come into being not many years before. Yet she had to die. She had to die because of the small chance that she could become a vessel of something that could threaten humanity.
The world could not take that chance. Exercising its control over the man, it made him act.
The man raised the sword in his hand. The girl lifted her hands up to protect herself. Yet it was futile.
Expressionlessly, the man cut the girl down.
The vision ended. The boy found himself back in the battlefield against the man.
The man cursed himself.
"I admired the ideal because it was beautiful! But none of that feeling is even my own! What can you call it other than hypocrisy!"
The man's attacks break the boy's body, and yet, his words hurt even more. His words break the boy's heart. The man ran forward, obsessively pursuing the ideal, all the while ignoring the pain and the fact that he was wrong.
The boy saw another vision.
It was a continuation of the last. In this one, the boy saw the man. He was holding the girl he had just cut down. Around him, her village burned to ashes. Fire engulfed him once again. He looked at her face. It would no longer be able to show emotions. It would no longer be able to show happiness, sadness, anger, or satisfaction. He had taken it all away from her in a single instance.
Realizing this, the man fell to his knees. He clutched the girl in his arms.
And then, he cried. He cried for the girl he had slain. He cried for all the people he let die.
But most importantly, he cried for himself. For trapping himself in this cycle where he would only be able to kill endlessly in order to save endlessly.
It was not what he wanted. Yet, he would never have the chance to regret this again.
In a mere instant, the man disappeared from the world once again, his task complete. The fire erased the village and the girl from the world for eternity.
The vision ended.
The boy withstood the man's attacks. Despite the fact that his body screamed at him to give up, he could not. His mind could only drive him towards one thing. His heart could only focus on one goal.
Denying the man's words with all his might.
The boy was pushed away by a powerful strike of the man. One of the boy's swords had already shattered in his hand.
He thrust the remaining sword into the ground to use as support. His body could barely keep him standing any longer. Yet he forced himself to stand.
"The ideal is a mere fantasy. Believing that everyone else is more important than yourself, the wish to save everybody, is nothing but a mere failure. Before you can destroy yourself with that dream, I will destroy you myself."
The man waited eternally for this chance. The chance to go back and redo it all. The chance to make sure he would not make this mistake again. He bet on the miniscule chance that somehow, he would be able to go back in time and save himself from the pain. And after thousands of years, he had finally received that chance. He would kill the boy here and now, and pray that the act of ending himself would erase him from existence, from the pain of being betrayed by his own ideals.
He would make sure to make good use of it.
The boy's mind began to follow his body. The man's words had sunk deep within him. The boy could not defeat the man. So long as the boy's mind is weak, he would never be able to stand up to him. What the man is saying is simple. He is saying the boy's life is meaningless, and that meaningless things should be exterminated.
Yet…
Yet, the boy could not give up. Something within him stirred every time the man said the ideal was wrong.
"Shut up." The boy said.
"What?"
He felt something move within him. The boy felt power stir and grow within his body.
He had to deny the man. He had to deny him with all his might, because regardless of what the man said…regardless of what he did and what he went through, the boy knew one simple thing.
And that simple thing moved him back to his feet.
"Shut…UP!"
The boy staggered to his feet. He pulled the sword from the ground under him. He felt like he could die on the spot. Yet, he would not allow it. He would survive. The boy poured his determination into his weakened body.
He would show the man that the ideal is not wrong!
"I already knew…Such a dream was impossible…" He murmured.
He understood this simple fact from the beginning. He knew the ideal was wrong, that it was impossible, that the only thing it would bring him is pain.
Yet, like his father, he believed that he would eventually reach that destination if he kept on running forward. Therefore, he would do the same!
"I can't lose to you. I don't mind losing against anyone else…but,"
The boy readied his sword. In response to the boy's spirit, the man prepared himself as well.
"I can never lose to myself!"
He will continue being himself!
The clash had renewed.
The man was surprised by his enemy's strength. His blows became heavier, stronger, and more precise.
The boy's body was failing. The man's blows should have killed him already.
Yet, no matter which way he struck, the boy would always block his strikes. Every time the boy attacked, he would stagger, nearly fall, then get back on his feet and attack again.
The sight reassures the man. It shows him that the boy is on the verge of death, that he would fall over and die any second. Yet…
Why did it seem like his arms held infinite strength?
The boy's body was acting on its own. Reinvigorated by his spirit, his body strengthened and held itself together. Many parts of it were broken. Therefore, the boy used the parts that weren't in order to fix the parts that were.
The boy's will suppresses his body's scream for rest.
"It's not…"
There is only one thing filling the boy's head. The boy understood something clearly. He understood he cannot be a superhero. That such a thing was fake. That should he continue pursuing it, he would end up like the man in front of him.
"It's not…"
Yet, he saw the beauty of it. He understood how stupid and wrong it was to value others over himself. Yet he admired it anyway. He admired that path and he kept on thinking how great it would be to live that way. This sole thought was the only thing driving his mind.
The boy's blows were endless. Every time the man believed that his next blow would end the boy, he saw that he was wrong. The boy blocked every strike. Again and again. Never stopping to rest.
Because he knew should the boy stop, he would die. So the boy could not stop.
The man is annoyed by the fact that the conflict will end once the boy stops, yet the boy is unable to stop.
The boy attacks with nothing but instinct. He has no skill, no form, no grace in his attacks. A mere instinct to protect himself. The spirit to continue. The desire to be able to pursue his dream.
The boy continuously surpasses the amount of blows the man believed he would be able to withstand.
And in the midst of the conflict…
The man sees something that shocks him with his own eyes.
The boy is saying one single thing with all his might.
"It's not!"
The boy will always protect the desire to be a hero. Even if it is not his own wish, even if it is not the correct way to live, he would protect it with all his strength.
What the boy is trying to overcome is not the enemy in front of him. What he is trying to overcome is himself, his own self that is acting as an obstacle in his path. To enforce what he believed in, what he believes in, and what he will always keep on believing in.
The final blow is coming. The thing on the boy's mind kept on moving him forward. It would always continue to do so.
"It's not a mistake!" He screamed.
He lunged at the man. The man saw the blow coming. It was such a easy blow to avoid. Such an easy blow to deflect and kill the boy.
Yet, he could only stare at the incoming sword.
There is a sickening sound of sword piercing flesh.
The man could only stare in amazement at the sword stuck in his chest.
He does not know that answer as to why this occurred. He could only stare at the iron blade piercing his body. He could not even question himself.
Yet, in that final blow, he saw it. The final blow contained more than just words. It contained the boy's spirit. His fury. His determination. His happiness. His sorrow. His dream.
All these factors combined paralyzed the man's body. He could not move against such might.
The sword in the man's hand does not move. Despite the fact that he should easily be able to counterattack, his arm does not move.
The boy takes that as a welcoming sign.
"This is my win." The boy says.
The boy makes that declaration. The man closes his eyes, and replies.
"Yes, and this…is my loss." The man says these words as if to convince himself.
He had been surpassed by himself. He more correctly, the boy had surpassed himself and has proven himself against himself. From this point on, the boy would never hesitate.
The man had accepted his own loss, and had relented to the boy's will.
He truly smiled for the first time in a long time. Because in that final moment, he remembered.
What was it that he promised to accomplish? The very same thing the boy promised.
To become a hero. He had forgotten that simple goal because of his pain. He inherited that dream from his father. For that single moment, he remembered it. A beautiful ideal. A beautiful ideal that he struggled to reach for millennia. And that was enough to defeat the man.
He was strangely content. He had found the answer he had been looking for his whole life. Even though after this night he would return to being a mere cleaner, and the chance that he would forget this moment…His soul would not. He will remember the answer that he had found for eternity.
He raised his head towards the sky. He looked at the stars shining above him, and smiled.
And so, slowly but surely, the man disappeared from this world without regrets.
And only the boy was left in the night-time plains.
LINEBREAK
And so, the man left, and the boy remained.
The only thing that stayed was the sound of clashing swords.
The path is long.
Relying on the distant sound of forging steel, the boy heads into the future.