This is a one shot unless I get reviews saying they would like to read more. This is what I think should of happened between Spencer and Toby, and how she told the girls.
Spencer's POV
"Is this what you're looking for." I screamed at him, the person who was in the black hoodie. The identity that I had not known for months. I t was him, and I couldn't believe it. Everyone that hasn't been what I've been through says: Honesty is the best policy. Well, they're wrong. When you think that a person was honest with you, but was keeping the most twisted and darkest secrets that you never wanted to come out of a loved one's mouth. I could feel I was shaking, that I was losing it. That every thing in my world was tumbling down, falling on me, like a house collapsing on me and the consequences would live with me forever. I already knew who that person was and it killed me. Every second I thought of it being true, I felt like my heart was opening every time and that eventually it would break, and I could love him no more.
He turned around, and the face that I love, the face that I come to for everything in the world, was now a face that I wanted to kill. His head lifted and he turned around slowly, because he knew me well enough to know that I was a bomb that would trigger off any moment.
"How long have you known?" Any emotion void of his face, no guilt, no love for the woman he loves. Well, I think he doesn't love me anymore or ever did. He isn't even denying it, how could he? He could have killed Ali? He could have killed Maya? One of my best friends, and the girl that Emily loved. How could he do that to me, to Emily, Hanna and Aria for god knows how long. I walked over to him, and looked in his eyes. I didn't feel warmth and comfort their anymore, just violence. I took my hand and slapped him hard across the face. Hard. He didn't flinch. Or squirm. And he knows me well enough that I wasn't finished.
"Please tell me this isn't real, and that it is all a dream. How could you be the Bastard who was sending us those messages. You knew how much it hurt me, and you knew I turned to you. But, I want to know the freaking truth. How could you tell me you loved me, and how could you make me feel so safe when you were just a villain inside. At first, when you kissed me at the motel, I was so happy, and now to think. The person I gave everything to: My trust; my heart; my love and my virginity to was the person that I love. I am kicking myself inside, for letting me do this. I never gave anyone a key to my heart, to my secrets and I gave it to you." I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, and I successfully did.
"Pretending not to love me was the hardest thing you ever had to do," I scoffed, not believing anything he had said to me. " I thought you were trying to protect when you said lock your doors, but I'm guessing you had to make it a challenge. Make it more enjoyable to see the person you love world come crumbling down.
But, you know what the worst thing is, its not that you're the person who ran over Hanna, dug up a body, killed a few people, killed Maya, and that you made us all sleep with a knife under a pillow, that we all had panic attacks and hyperventilation every day when our phones rang, that we cried into our boyfriends and girlfriend's shirt every time some sort of shit happened and that you made us all want to kill ourselves. The worst thing is, is that I still love you, and after what you did I could never forgive you for this. So don't come crawling back in a month or so when you say that it was all just a stupid prank, and that you are sorry, and that you tried to get out of it. But you where apart of it. That you never wanted it to get this far, and that you didn't think it was serious. I want you out of our life's, out of Rosewood, and if you say to me again, that; pretending not to love you was the hardest goddamn thing you had to do in your life." My voice had raised, and then I remembered and couldn't believe I forgot. It was our anniversary.
"The hardest thing is, is that it is not easy finding out the person you love is –A, on our anniversary. It will be hard, but I never want to see you again, and stay away from us, you sick bastard. I hope you rot in hell. But the thing is to me, you already are. Your dead to me Toby. And you always will be." I gave him his pass to The Radley, and slapped him one more time, giving him his cue to leave. I was broken, and needed support.
SOS. I sent to Hanna, Aria, Emily and Caleb. I needed to tell them the truth, and I needed comforting. I sat on my sofa, not caring that the door was broken, and that it was freezing. I felt no coldness around me. Just hatred to the man I used to call my future husband, the future father of my children. That was all in the past. I was staring into the fire so intently, that I didn't hear Caleb knock on the back door. He let himself in when I didn't answer. He sat down next to me.
"What's wrong" Just two words that I had longed to hear from Toby in a long time caused me to start sobbing. I didn't want an explanation as to why Caleb was here first. I was just happy that someone was here to hold me when times became rough. Too hard for me to handle. Caleb pulled me in for a hug, and I curled up next to him, crying into his shirt. I was lucky that I had a friend to hold me, but I didn't realize it. I was too torn. Too damaged to be worn out anymore. I let all my cares free and all my emotions take over my body. I was sobbing so hard, that I didn't realize that Hanna, Aria and Emily were in the room just moments later. I was still sobbing into Caleb, and thought that I had other strong-arms to help me when I'm about to break down and just want to fall off a cliff. I didn't know how long I had been sobbing, but they were still all there, when I swapped from Caleb to Emily. Emily was the person I felt sorry for out of all of the group. We just hugged, and then I started to hyperventilate.
"Breathe, just breathe!" Emily whispered soothingly as I was curled up into a ball against her. It took me a while to try and get the words out.
"I don't want to anymore, Em" I replied trying to sound strong, but I sounded defeated and weak. I could hear sniffling from everyone even Caleb. Emily, Hanna, Aria and I joined together for a group hug, and we let all of our huddled emotions get out of our system. It felt like hours had passed of me crying, the girls crying and Caleb crying. Hours had passed, and we were still awake. I had to tell them and this was the only time I could.
"I have something to tell you about Toby, but I need to talk about it upstairs" They followed me upstairs, we all had puffy eyes.
"Guys, I know who it is!" I said.
"What, I don't get it." Aria stated.
"I know who –A is." I could see they were staring at me, and I couldn't believe I just admitted it to myself. I could see Emily starting to go pale. I gave her a nod.
"NO! It can't be him, he's my best friend" Emily and I ran to the bathroom, we were vomiting, me the sink, and her the toilet. Someone held my hair back, as I vomited. This is because of him. Once I knew I wasn't going to be sick anymore – I hope- I turned around and faced Emily. We both had tears streaming down our faces, as reality came back to us. We hugged each other while the others had no idea what was going on. One down, three to go, it will be easy, is what I kept telling myself, but I knew it wouldn't be. After hugging so tightly, we walked back to my bedroom were the others had just come in to.
"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Hanna said.
"Toby's –A" I managed to stutter out, and as I did Hanna and Aria started sobbing. Hanna collapsed into Caleb and Aria moved to Emily and me. We just stayed there crying for what seemed like eternity, which in fact was just about another few hours. It was early morning when we all got up except Caleb to go vomit. We had made ourselves vomit from the tears we shed. Caleb got up and heard us, he walked into the bathroom, and tied my hair back. I was surprised that he didn't go to Hanna, but I had a sense that he knew I was taking it the hardest. After hell had happened, we all located back to my room, and all tied our hair up into a weak ponytail. Aria was the first one to break the silence.
"Shit!" She exclaimed, as she reached to get her phone. She scrolled down the list of missed calls she had got from Ezra. "I was supposed to call him, we were watching a movie when you texted. I knew something was wrong; we haven't had SOS in a long time. He said call to make sure that everything was okay."
"Sorry, he can come over. We need another one to protect us, cause I swear I saw a black hoodie." I said. Aria rang him, and put him on speaker, Ezra answered after one bleep.
"Hi, your on voicemail." Aria shouted to the phone.
"Are you alright!" Ezra answered back, Aria hesitated before she answered.
"No"
"Where are you?"
"I'm at Spencer's, you can come over!"
"Be there in a bit, Love you" I started silently crying and remembered the times when I said to Toby I loved him.
"Love you too" Aria weakly said, and hung up the phone. Bleep! All their phones bleeped at the same time. Aria only read hers, because as sure as hell everyone got the same text.
"What the…" Aria whispered.
"What is it!" Emily asked her voice full of curiosity.
"It's an apology. Sorry, for all the pain I've caused. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I'm not asking for you too. I just want you to keep safe –A." Before anyone could say anything, I walked over to the window, and lifted it up. And before anyone could ask what I'm doing, I shouted out what I've been wanting to shout to –A all this time.
"Fuck off Toby, Mona and any of their minions. I'm sick of you stalking us, now just leave the woods, my house, leave us alone. And for the record Toby we will never keep or feel safe again with you behind our backs" I felt better for shouting it out, and I didn't care who heard. We were all silent, but silently cheering that one of us had spoken up to –A. Ten minutes had passed when there was a knock on the door. Aria ran down the stairs, everyone following close behind. She looked through the peephole, and opened the door.
"Alright, What's wrong?" Ezra, asked noticing her tear streaked face, and puffy eyes.
"Can you just hold me" Aria whispered, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Ezra pulled Aria in for a hug, and stroked her hair. It was too much for me, and I ran upstairs, and collapsed on my bed. I prepared myself for the questions about Toby to come my way from my former English teacher. Aria walked in a few minutes later.
"Hey, how you doing?" She asked me, and I knew where it was heading, so I cut the conversation short.
"You can tell Ezra, but not with me and Em in the room, and I don't now how Han and Caleb are about this, but talk to him downstairs." I replied, getting to the point. I didn't want to talk about that son of bitch anymore. "Actually, bring him up here, I don't know if there is anything around downstairs."
"You sure?" I nodded in agreement. Aria once again ran down the stairs to get them. I covered my face in a pillow, and I thought to myself: How can I still love him. A tear slid down my face when Emily. She immediately sat next to me, we have been in this position for many hours. They filed in, and all sat down on the floor, Em and me on the bed, shielding each other from the pain.
"Alright, so let us three talk and don't interrupt." Aria said looking him straight in the eye.
"So you remember the bitch, Mona" Caleb started off, and Aria slapping him on the shoulder. "Well she was the first –A, and then Spencer almost died." Spencer half-groaning and half- speaking cut him off.
"Get this over with, I am dying right now inside just a little every second."
"And, then the night when Ali's body went missing, we all got a text. But we all thought it was a prank" Hanna was saying, but was yet cut off by Emily saying sorry for the millionth time. "It's fine Em, it never happened" Hanna said whispering to her. "Anyways, they started up again, and we found out sooner, and it was worse than the Mona Monster" Hanna finished speaking, and curled up on Caleb, and then everything went silent.
"Spence found out who was still helping Mona, and that person was Toby." Aria whispered to Ezra.
"Ar, please just say his name, it would be so much easier to admit it to myself then" I said weakly, as I hugged Emily tighter. "Em, you were right it just takes a second for your world to come crumbling down." Another load of tears washed over me, and as I started to hyperventilate again I couldn't stop until Aria got me a paper bag. I was so sick of all the grieving.
"All, it takes is a one look Spence" Emily replied weakly.
"Why do I still love him?" I whispered as I kept looking down.
"You never fall out of love with a person you thought was true, and there's always a place in your heart where you still love them!" Emily replied, I let the tears stream down my face, of course Emily was right. She lost Maya, and she even says that she still loves her.
"It's different" I hesitated before saying the letter. "He's –A, it's breaking me to know I still love him and my mind is saying No, but my heart is saying You still love him."
"Because it is, and even though they're gone, they're still with you!"
"He's not gone in my heart"
"And neither in mine". Emily replied coldly, no trust in the man she once called her best friend. I ran to the bathroom, and hung my head over the toilet. I assumed Emily had run in, because her and me were taking it the hardest, we were taking the fall