Author's Note: This cringe-worthy challenge was initially issued in July of 2004. I was just a teenager then and obnoxiously immature so you will have to forgive me. I am unbelievably sorry for this story, but I have very fond memories of creating it, so I have to share it. Please remember that this is a work of parody and don't get all butt hurt if I cast your favorite characters in a less-than flattering light.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. No house, no car, no phone, no nothing. All I have is the laptop I won on some fluke lucky streak and you'll have to pry it out of my cold dead fingers.

Rating: Probably PG-13...maybe R. ::skims down and takes note of the constant use of the f-word and the drunken strip tease:: Yeah, definitely R.

The challenges are as follows:

1) Dobby must put tampons in his ears and run around screaming, "Dos Equis!"

2) A repetitious flashing of curses causes Neville to go into epileptic seizures

3) Someone must say, "The fried cabbage patties worked in theory, OK?" [1]

4) Colin Creevey must say "fuck" 8 times

5) Harry Potter must say, "You don't understand! I have diarrhea!" [2]

6) hERMIONE must say, "HAHA YOU'VE BEEN BROUGHT DOWN BY THE CURSE! THE PLAGUE OF THE KEYBOARD!" [3]

7) Winky must do a drunken striptease for the HORRIFIED HUFFLEPUFFS!

8) Someone must say, "mmmmmmm... huuuumans..." [4]

9) Ginny must include "Trees are delicious" in a song that does not usually have those words in the song. [5]

10) Has been redacted for quality control purposes.

End Note: All the quotes that were used belong to me or my friends in this order.

[1] Said by me as an excuse for the culinary disaster I had unleashed upon society. I was starving.

[2] Said by my mom as the reason why we couldn't go see the Harry Potter movie. ::shudders at the thought::

[3] Also said by me as the reason why Elizabeth kept on screwing up the caps lock and making all the words half big and half small.

[4] Said by James Fulmer (a.k.a. Jamers) during a dress rehearsal for A Midsummer Night's Dream.

[5] Said by me, when I attempted to eat a tree. Don't give me that look, I've attempted to eat a lot of things before. Flowers, old sausage, random chemicals during chemistry class, McDonalds food. I have yet to die, so I believe that I am pretty well off.

Also, I apologize profusely for the randomness and I blame it all on Shini-chan.